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Kiss on cheek hello


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#1 Grassisgreen

Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:40 PM

So how do you get out of someone giving you a kiss on the cheek hello?

My FIL gives a proper kiss on the cheek leaving a wet patch and I find it so disgusting I loathe and try and avoid seeing him.

Is there a way I can put a permanent stop to this???

#2 Ozquoll

Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:47 PM

Blasted men, always leaving a wet patch 😉🤢😆!!

Sorry OP, I don't have a solution for you, but I heartily sympathise.

#3 MakesMeHappy

Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:51 PM

Could you try and kiss his cheek instead? Or is that worse?? Haha

#4 CallMeFeral

Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:54 PM

Like this :p
https://www.youtube....h?v=K9Zq8K5qxzI

#5 Ellie bean

Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:55 PM

Shake hands? I realise that might be seen as rude but it’s no ruder than what he’s doing. I would greet him by clasping both his hands and saying very sincerely “sooo great to see you!” then scurrying off before he can kiss you...

#6 CallMeFeral

Posted 06 December 2019 - 11:00 PM

More seriously, you might have to alternate between a few decoys

1) Oh sorry have a bit of a cold, I won't come near you (could use this maybe once a month?)
2) "Oh hi how are... omg I left my something in the car!"
3) "Oh hi how are... oh MIL I love what you've done with your hair" [pulling away to talk to someone else like you've been distracted
4) Air kiss him quickly and pull away

It's a shame adults have to be polite. As a kid I hated being kissed and used to run away, soon everyone knew me for it. Even as an adult now some of my relatives approach to kiss me and then back off and go - "oh yes, you don't like kissing...". Harder to establish as an adult!

#7 Sweet.Pea

Posted 07 December 2019 - 05:22 AM

I step back and put my hand out to shake.

People think I'm odd but who isn't odd these days? At least I'm not hugging and kissing people ;)

#8 Lady Gray

Posted 07 December 2019 - 07:56 AM

I have a young kid who started daycare this year and we been sick for at least seven months this year so have been doing “so sorry, I’m getting sick again so don’t get too close” with everyone.  No one cares or at least then they make a little fuss about how sorry they are blah blah blah.


#9 lazycritter

Posted 07 December 2019 - 08:42 AM

Paint the side of your face with that anti nail biting stuff.

#10 lazycritter

Posted 07 December 2019 - 08:44 AM

Wear a hazmat mask

#11 lazycritter

Posted 07 December 2019 - 08:48 AM

Hand him a drink and cheers clink then take a sip of your own as soon as he greets you.  then scull and let some dribble out the corners of your mouth. Make sure it's red so he can see.

#12 lazycritter

Posted 07 December 2019 - 08:59 AM

Post this on Facebook if you know he would see it
https://metro.co.uk/...-cheek-6794059/

#13 Grassisgreen

Posted 07 December 2019 - 09:30 AM

Lazy critter I love all your ideas 😂 that article is amazing, I could have written it.

#14 Grassisgreen

Posted 07 December 2019 - 09:40 AM

View PostCallMeFeral, on 06 December 2019 - 10:54 PM, said:


This is too good 😂😂😂

#15 Grassisgreen

Posted 07 December 2019 - 09:49 AM

I’ve spent ten years so far avoiding about 30% of them from being ‘sick’.

I’ve tried just moving away when he gets close but he just always will make sure he says a ‘proper’ hello at some point.

So the thing is, I don’t like/respect my fil for a number of reasons. And neither does the rest of the family. He is a bit off socially so I feel like I may be able to say something, I just don’t know what.

The thing that really p*sses me off is I teach our kids about body autonomy and you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. But how about me??!!! Adults should be able to say something right?? Without the other person being offended or the kiss hater being the weird one.

I’ve spent ten years so far avoiding about 30% of them from being ‘sick’.

I’ve tried just moving away when he gets close but he just always will make sure he says a ‘proper’ hello at some point.

So the thing is, I don’t like/respect my fil for a number of reasons. And neither does the rest of the family. He is a bit off socially so I feel like I may be able to say something, I just don’t know what.

The thing that really p*sses me off is I teach our kids about body autonomy and you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. But how about me??!!! Adults should be able to say something right?? Without the other person being offended or the kiss hater being the weird one.

#16 Jingleflea

Posted 07 December 2019 - 09:58 AM

Frankly I'd just say something like "Sorry, i don't like being kissed by anyone other than my husband and kids" and walk away every time he does it.

I hate being hugged so i avoid anyone who wants to hug me. And i'm ok with telling people that. I refuse to worry if I offend someone who does't respect MY personal space.

#17 Jersey Caramel

Posted 07 December 2019 - 11:47 AM

View PostGrassisgreen, on 07 December 2019 - 09:49 AM, said:

I’ve spent ten years so far avoiding about 30% of them from being ‘sick’.

I’ve tried just moving away when he gets close but he just always will make sure he says a ‘proper’ hello at some point.

So the thing is, I don’t like/respect my fil for a number of reasons. And neither does the rest of the family. He is a bit off socially so I feel like I may be able to say something, I just don’t know what.

The thing that really p*sses me off is I teach our kids about body autonomy and you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. But how about me??!!! Adults should be able to say something right?? Without the other person being offended or the kiss hater being the weird one.

I’ve spent ten years so far avoiding about 30% of them from being ‘sick’.

I’ve tried just moving away when he gets close but he just always will make sure he says a ‘proper’ hello at some point.

So the thing is, I don’t like/respect my fil for a number of reasons. And neither does the rest of the family. He is a bit off socially so I feel like I may be able to say something, I just don’t know what.

The thing that really p*sses me off is I teach our kids about body autonomy and you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. But how about me??!!! Adults should be able to say something right?? Without the other person being offended or the kiss hater being the weird one.

Yes, of course you have every right to say something.  If ge gets offended well that's his problem.  He doesn't have a 'right' to kiss you so once you've said it,  that should be the end of it.

Perhaps you could send him a message or email - or a generic group one to the family rather than him specifically if you think that will soften the blow - rather than try to address it while he is leaning in for the smooch,  which could get awkward. Maybe phrase it like,  "I have recently been talking to the kids about bodily autonomy, and how they have the right to say if they don't like physical contact. However I have realised that I haven't been role modelling that for them very well.  I actually don't like to hug or kiss to say hello. I haven't said anything for risk of offending people, but it makes me very uncomfortable, and I have realised it is better for me to just ask that you don't kiss me any more. Thanks!"

Edited by Jersey Caramel, 07 December 2019 - 11:48 AM.


#18 Hands Up

Posted 07 December 2019 - 01:14 PM

Pretty much everyone I know kisses on the cheek for hello and goodbye. I hate it.

#19 Romeo Void

Posted 07 December 2019 - 01:22 PM

God I'd be happier with that than the kiss on the lips th ILs expect...thirty bloody years of it..

#20 Squeekums The Elf

Posted 07 December 2019 - 01:27 PM

I must be a b**ch, I visibly step back and recoil when people go to kiss me on the cheek

I choose who kisses me and when.
I don't care if I offend anyone lol

#21 literally nobody

Posted 07 December 2019 - 01:54 PM

God this is a nightmare for me too. DH is European and his whole family and friends do the kiss on two cheeks thing, aargh it’s ghastly.!

I have known to just wave in the general direction and call out “hello everybody “ and plonk myself down with a drink asap. Unfortunately it doesn’t always work.

Why the hell do we have to kiss anyone?! I find it revolting. And it’s the same thing when we say goodbye. You find yourself kissing everyone- up to 15 people in a go but on both cheeks then again after.

I have been known to deliberately not go to gatherings purely for this.

#22 Squeekums The Elf

Posted 07 December 2019 - 02:01 PM

View PostRomeo Void, on 07 December 2019 - 01:22 PM, said:

God I'd be happier with that than the kiss on the lips th ILs expect...thirty bloody years of it..

Dare I say, I would have lost my sh*t and slapped someone after 30 years

#23 literally nobody

Posted 07 December 2019 - 02:16 PM

View PostRomeo Void, on 07 December 2019 - 01:22 PM, said:

God I'd be happier with that than the kiss on the lips th ILs expect...thirty bloody years of it..

UGH YUUUUKKKK! no way! i’d probably dry retch if I had to kiss my in laws on the lips. I’d draw a definite line and step back and say no it’s not going to happen.

#24 Ellie bean

Posted 07 December 2019 - 04:05 PM

View PostJersey Caramel, on 07 December 2019 - 11:47 AM, said:



Yes, of course you have every right to say something.  If ge gets offended well that's his problem.  He doesn't have a 'right' to kiss you so once you've said it,  that should be the end of it.

Perhaps you could send him a message or email - or a generic group one to the family rather than him specifically if you think that will soften the blow - rather than try to address it while he is leaning in for the smooch,  which could get awkward. Maybe phrase it like,  "I have recently been talking to the kids about bodily autonomy, and how they have the right to say if they don't like physical contact. However I have realised that I haven't been role modelling that for them very well.  I actually don't like to hug or kiss to say hello. I haven't said anything for risk of offending people, but it makes me very uncomfortable, and I have realised it is better for me to just ask that you don't kiss me any more. Thanks!"
Honestly I’d say something in person rather than send an email. Doing it in writing makes it a whole big thing and it’s there in black and white for all the family to pick apart...

#25 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 07 December 2019 - 04:45 PM

before he comes in for the smooch put your hands up in a Stop! gesture and say “i’ve had a cold. don’t think i’m infectious but you can never be too cautious”.

and do that every time you see him.





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