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Parents not allowing children to integrate, go on excursions or camping


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#1 Autumn Tones

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:47 PM

My DD and DS both attend school in with other children of many backgrounds and faiths.
I've noticed that some parents of ethnic backgrounds are not allowing their children to attend excursions or camping trips. I'm aware money may be an issue, but this is a lower socioeconomic area so the school does take into consideration parents finances.
I also overheard that some children were encouraged to mingle with children of their own kind, but we're discouraged from integrating with others.

I myself are of an ethnic background.
My parents were traditional and conservative, money was often an issue, but I was always encouraged to go on excursions  (the only times I'd missed out on an excursion was because the school had already taken us to Science Works or the Zoo a bazillion times) and was never discouraged from making friends with anyone.
Mum was initially hesitant to let me go camping in grade 4, thinking I was a bit too young (it was also expensive for us) but she let me go eventually cause she'd have kicked herself for not giving me this opportunity.


So with would parents not allow their kids to go on excursions, camping or allow them to integrate and mix with other kids?

(I didn't want to name specific ethnic groups cause I didn't want to stereotype or generalise)

Edited by Autumn Tones, 11 December 2019 - 07:49 PM.


#2 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:53 PM

One half of my background is ethnic, I went to every thing (except y6 camp but my own choice) DS goes to very high mixed race schools some go to all some don't.

Like anything we do with our kids we are all different

#3 lizzzard

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:54 PM

Settling in with a glass of wine for this one....

#4 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:54 PM

Add swimming to the list.

#5 gracie1978

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:56 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 11 December 2019 - 07:54 PM, said:

Settling in with a glass of wine for this one....

Chocolate for me!

#6 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2019 - 07:58 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 11 December 2019 - 07:54 PM, said:

Settling in with a glass of wine for this one....

I need the wine to get over the fact DS has pizza shapes for lunch some weekend days

#7 gatheringpieces

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:00 PM

Oh now I want pizza shapes

#8 No Drama Please

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:01 PM

We have a large mix of kids from different backgrounds at our school. I’d say it would be close to 60% not having speaking English as their first language. I haven’t noticed anyone not participating at camp etc because of their ethnic background though?

We have had one year where they changed it from overnight to a day camp as they thought quite a lot of the kids were not ready to be away overnight but that was more an age and maturity levels for that particular year.

Everyone is going to have different expectations of what their kids are or aren’t ready for. You can’t lump everyone from one cultures into the same boat because we are all completely different, with unique outlooks based on individual perspectives/experiences etc.

#9 Freddie'sMum

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:02 PM

I don't see how that would work OP.  If 2 kids from different ethnic backgrounds attend school X together- then surely the kids are integrating already.

#10 Coffeegirl

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:02 PM

Exactly who did you ‘hear’ this from?  do you have any real proof that this is happening or are you just passing on schoolyard gossip?

Because it sounds like a lot of marlarky.

#11 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:06 PM

It's not just ethnic groups. It's also the " schooling should be free" people too. Making a point by not allowing their child to participate in free dress/ dress up day for a gold coin, paid excrusions/ incursions etc.
Why drag your kid into your miff? Write a letter to your MP or something.  Stop dragging your kid into it.

#12 Autumn Tones

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:07 PM

View PostFreddie, on 11 December 2019 - 08:02 PM, said:

I don't see how that would work OP.  If 2 kids from different ethnic backgrounds attend school X together- then surely the kids are integrating already.


What I actually meant was that kids from certain backgrounds weren't encouraged to play together with children from other backgrounds during recess. Sorry I should have been more specific.

#13 literally nobody

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:08 PM

Why? How long is a piece of string op?



#14 #YKG

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:09 PM

TBH the not going on excursions/camps etc has been happening since the dawn of time. One girl I went through primary school and high school with was never allowed to go on camps or excursions, she never attended even one in all the school years.

She didn’t have an ethnic background, my school was middle socio economic. Pretty much Anglo, Italian background and a couple from Lebanese background.

Honestly I don’t think it has so much to do with background, rather individual parents decisions about their kids and what they are and aren’t willing to allow them to do.

Not gonna even touch on integration.

#15 Autumn Tones

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:12 PM

View PostCoffeegirl, on 11 December 2019 - 08:02 PM, said:

Exactly who did you ‘hear’ this from?  do you have any real proof that this is happening or are you just passing on schoolyard gossip?

Because it sounds like a lot of marlarky.

From my DD who came home from school one day to tell me 'so and so told me we can't play/be friends anymore because my mum said you're  not ................ like we are'.

Come to think of it my best friend who is of Turkish background was horrified when she learnt her BIL wouldnt  allow his kids to play with Anglo kids and told them to stick with other Turkish kids

#16 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:13 PM

View PostAutumn Tones, on 11 December 2019 - 08:07 PM, said:




What I actually meant was that kids from certain backgrounds weren't encouraged to play together with children from other backgrounds during recess. Sorry I should have been more specific.

Kids in my son's school just find kids to play with, like I did at school. DS has friends from lots of different backgrounds

#17 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:14 PM

i haven’t noticed this sort of thing (not sending child to camp) occurring along specific ethnic lines....i don’t think ethnicity comes into it at all, IMO (but im a sample of one) - i *have* noticed it in general with parents of all backgrounds parenting this current generation - “I’m not sending him to camp because he’s anxious about it” and i think that’s bad parenting. i think it’s doing the kids a disservice. you are not allowing them to be challenged, to grow as a person.

(you might want to keep the bottle close by....)


#18 Hibiscus123

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:16 PM

One thing I never appreciated until my eldest started school was how much incidental socialising with other parents was involved.

Like you’d see the same parents at pick up, drop off, school events, local park, woolies, birthday patties, play dates, weekend activities.. and have to say hello/make small talk.

I’m an introvert so find the constant interaction exhausting but try to put in an effort for my children’s social life.

Perhaps those parents who discourage their children from mingling with certain ethnicities, are insecure about themselves incidentally socialising with parents whose culture they find intimidating?

Doesn’t make it right to pass insecurities onto their kids though

#19 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:19 PM

*note I am using their background specifically in this thread for this point

My son's Indian friend and his Malaysian friend spend a lot of time discussing what happens if you break wind and try and light it at the same time

We could give anecdotes all day

#20 Lallalla

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:21 PM

I’m curious to know what you define as “ethnic”. It’s a term my mother uses and I always wonder who is in and who is out for being/not being “ethnic”? How Anglo does your background have to be? Or is Western Europe sufficient? How many generations removed can you be? Has it changed over the years or is it still the same?

#21 seayork2002

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:27 PM

View PostLallalla, on 11 December 2019 - 08:21 PM, said:

I’m curious to know what you define as “ethnic”. It’s a term my mother uses and I always wonder who is in and who is out for being/not being “ethnic”? How Anglo does your background have to be? Or is Western Europe sufficient? How many generations removed can you be? Has it changed over the years or is it still the same?

Not sure I was following the ops lead, but I have to denounce my European citizenship if I want to join parliament, bit ironic these days since DH and DS have British ones

#22 Hibiscus123

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:30 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 11 December 2019 - 07:54 PM, said:

Settling in with a glass of wine for this one....

I love these firecracker threads, they really challenge my perspective on issues, as I tend to surround myself with likeminded friends in real life.

We don’t get enough of these threads on EB anymore & and I dare say EB’s a lot more of a snooze fest then when I first joined.

Every thread seems to end with posters telling OPs not to be judgmental. When in fact I love it when EB allows a glimpse into the minds of others, and for unpopular opinions to be heard (not necessarily agreed with).

#23 tenar

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:36 PM

View PostLallalla, on 11 December 2019 - 08:21 PM, said:

I’m curious to know what you define as “ethnic”. It’s a term my mother uses and I always wonder who is in and who is out for being/not being “ethnic”? How Anglo does your background have to be? Or is Western Europe sufficient? How many generations removed can you be? Has it changed over the years or is it still the same?

My DH, who was not born in Australia or into an anglo culture, describes things like meat pies as "ethnic food"...

#24 LadyGreyTea

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:40 PM

This is going back almost a decade ago but I had a friend of Asian background who was often not allowed to go on camping or school trips. When asked why, the response was "because my parents think it's too dangerous for me".

It was only years later that she found out the real reason she couldn't go was because her parents could not afford it and were both on seniors pensions (they had her quite late in life) and they were afraid that if they were caught spending money on excursions for her, they'd have their income support cut off.


#25 Ozquoll

Posted 11 December 2019 - 08:43 PM

Seems like a couple of separate issues there OP. My DS goes to a very multi-cultural school and I'm not (so far) aware of any instances of kids being told by their parents not to hang out with kids of 'x' background/religion/whatever. If it did happen I think the school would make a solid effort to stamp out that sort of attitude. There was however a really nasty case of a FYOS child at a nearby school being relentlessly bullied for months, by other 5/6yos, on the basis of his Jewish heritage. Presumably the only way kids that young learn to act that way is because their parents are bigots.

Regarding the not going on camps or excursions...many a heated thread has been had on EB about this topic 🤔😆! I'm one of the minority who is not comfortable with the idea of my child attending overnight camps. My son has ASD and I strongly doubt he would benefit from the experience. I know of other people who don't send their children to overnight camps, or sleepovers with friends for that matter, because of a family history of sexual abuse.




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