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Xmas gifts not even between kids
9 replies to this topic
Posted 15 December 2019 - 02:58 PM
I decided to get ds10 a phone for Xmas. Reason being he’s going into year 6 and I’m working more so quite often the kids have to walk to the park or shops near school and meet me. So I want one of them to have a phone for this in case I get held up or something. Plus he will need one for high school as he will be getting the bus, and next year he will also need a laptop for high school so I got the phone this year and laptop next year.
Trouble is my younger ds. I feel really bad that he isn’t getting anything as good as a phone. They both have similar presents, some sports gear, books, games, things like that. I’m on the fence as to whether I get him a phone as well, even though he is 9 and doesn’t need one yet. I thought would get him one next year as then he will be the oldest at primary school.
Dd won’t really care I don’t think. She has got lots of toys and books that she will love and she’s much younger so there isn’t the same level of competition as there is between the boys ( only 18 months apart)
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:07 PM
Does the phone have to be a xmas present?
Since you feel like he needs to have it, can you just give it closer to when it's required?
Or is it a lesson for the younger child? And he can get one when he is the same age as the eldest is now?
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:09 PM
I bought my oldest a phone at the start of this year when she was 8, because of similar delay-getting-to-her-school-pickup realities. My other child (6) did not get a phone because he didn't need one. (His school finish time was the reason I was going to be delayed getting to her.)
I sold it as, she isn't using it to play games or anything, it's only for her to communicate with me, i.e. it's not a toy, it's something I need her to have. Not sure whether you c/would do the same?
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:12 PM
there was a whole other thread on this issue...
anyway, i agree with the previous post. If the phone is required, take it out of the christmas pool. Give it to him at the start of school, explain to all the kids what its for, and how its not really a personal present, its a safety and communication issue that benefits them all.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:14 PM
Simple. Don’t do the phone as part of Christmas. I’d give it to him in January or closer to school going and explain why he is getting it. That’s is about safety, communications etc. and that likely each child will get one when they hit that age/point at school.
Edited by MayaTheGrinch, 15 December 2019 - 03:15 PM.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:15 PM
I wouldn’t give the phone for Christmas. It’s a need once school starts, so I would give it then. I would be clear at that time that ‘this is only to get in touch with me after school not for games/texting friends/social media etc.’
Same goes for the laptop. It’s a school item, not a Christmas gift. Give it at the end of January when he’s getting ready for school, not at the start of summer holidays as a Christmas gift.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:31 PM
That’s a good point actually. I didn’t think of just giving it to him. I guess cause it’s an expensive item just thought would have to be for Xmas.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:54 PM
My kids get a phone when they are going into year 7. Not before. They all get similar spent on them so none have ever been upset about not getting the same thing. But they're not the same age and they all have different requirements. So they deal with it because that's how it is.
Honestly after all the organisation that goes into Christmas and present buying if one of the kids wants to cry unfair over something another is getting they can miss out all together.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 06:57 PM
It also doesn’t have to be “his” phone- at least not yet- it can be the family spare, taken by whoever when needed. Maybe it even stays in your handbag/on the kitchen bench when not in active use, to make it clear it’s a functional only item, not a personal “for fun” item.
Posted 15 December 2019 - 07:36 PM
When I started working longer hours I got my oldest just a cheap phone that was for both the kids to use if they needed to contact me. It was not part of a gift and nor was it an expensive phone.
It was a safety measure
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