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Small same sex wedding

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#1 someoneanon

Posted 22 December 2019 - 02:22 PM


So we've set a date and found our perfect celebrant.
I don't know what to do as I feel like we need something special and not sure how to achieve it. We have very little money and few guests. Probably will be 12 people there in total, including us. We both cut our parents out of our lives for varying valid reasons. It will be in our backyard due to cost. We will jazz things up.

But I am at a loss. I have been married before and had a really nice wedding. I want something nice this time too but the size and the lack of a lot of family being there is kind of hard to get past mentally.

Any help with trying to make this special for us will be appreciated.

#2 born.a.girl

Posted 22 December 2019 - 02:40 PM

Flowers, lots of flowers.

congrats and hope people have some great ideas.

#3 Ivy Ivy

Posted 22 December 2019 - 02:44 PM

One of the nicest weddings I ever saw was on the grass above Balmoral Beach (Sydney) with about 12 people there, bride in a summer white dress and barefoot, all very casual, and the couple just spending this important day only with those closest to them.  I thought it seemed very meaningful, being able to concentrate on a small number of loved ones rather than a cast of thousands.  They had brunch at Balmoral Bathers restaurant afterwards.   All very al fresco.

So I suppose I'm writing all that to illustrate, a small number of guests is in no way a less important occasion.

If budget limited, could you decorate the yard in some not-expensive way - fairy lights or flowers? - and have just small amounts of really nice food, or have a TAFE chef students cater and cook at lower cost or something?

#4 JBH

Posted 22 December 2019 - 02:53 PM

I think backyard weddings can be beautiful. If it’s in the evening fairy lights look lovely, and you can probably borrow them.

If it’s in the afternoon I think an old fashioned afternoon tea with scones and jam and cream could work well and be very affordable.

One of the most beautiful weddings i’ve ever been to was held on the smell of an oily rag. There was nothing fancy about it, nothing tricked up or overly contemplated. It was special because it was simple and they loved each other, and that was enough. The sense of occasion and wonderful mood came from the relaxation and love that radiated from the couple.

Edit: I meant complicated, not contemplated.

Edited by JBH, 23 December 2019 - 10:07 AM.

#5 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:01 PM

definitely fairy lights.

we went to a really great wedding recently - quite a small affair in the backyard - what was special about it was that we (the guests) didn’t know we were going to a wedding - we had an inkling that the couple might announce they were getting the married but we weren’t sure. anyway we were all mingling having drinks and the host stood up - as if to make a speech - but then introduced the celebrant and said “we’re getting married, like, right now” - our reaction was priceless. it was perfect for them because it was second time round, they didn’t want presents etc.

#6 marple

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:16 PM

Pick a simple theme for the wedding - I'm going off a recent backyard  wedding I attended. They had sunflowers, rustic sort of brown flecked paper for everything written, fold up chairs with a green ribbon tied on the edge of each. Was lovely. A blackboard out the front with their names and an arrow pointing people the right way. I complimented a briesmaid on her dress and she said they got them for $80 off the internet from a shop in Brisbane.

Oh and def some kind of frame/ arbor to stand under for the ceremony. Can be little but gives a focus.

Edited by marple, 22 December 2019 - 03:59 PM.

#7 ABabyPlease

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:29 PM

Can you hire a student or babysitter to act as a waiter for the event?  Not needing to be in the kitchen is very special!

Good quality wine and champagne.

Are any of your guests artistic? Maybe could ask them to sing, sketch drawings of the guests or perform a mime. In lieu of a gift. Or maybe buy a canvas and paints and ask everyone to draw something.

I hope you enjoy your day.

#8 ABabyPlease

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:31 PM

Oh and live music is amazing if you can stretch the budget. I found a vocalist online for a friends party recently.

#9 gruidae

Posted 22 December 2019 - 04:07 PM

We were a party of 10 - also a backyard wedding. Neither of us is great at being the centre of attention and we were very nervous.
We had a bower with flowers set up for the ceremony and a banquet table under the trees. It was perfect for us. The world pretty much shrank down to just us during the ceremony, even the celebrant sort of disappeared. I'm not sure either of us heard much of what she said tbh.Just two loons grinning at each other sheepishly.

Our "maidens of magnificence" helped prepare the food, a few bottles of wine and it was a perfect day.

You know at the end of the day if it's right, it's right. That's what makes it special. Congratulations to you both. Enjoy your day and those that come after it :love:

#10 MsLaurie

Posted 22 December 2019 - 04:08 PM

You could buy (Bunnings? Kmart?) (or possibly hire) a simple garden arch and weave it through with flowers (real or fake) and fairy lights and have the ceremony under the arch at dusk. It would be gorgeous and feel special, and it creates a focal point for the ceremony which makes it feel different to just “being in our yard”.
Buy some fabulous cheeses and antipasto, get some decent bubbles in bulk, and ask your friends to bring their favourite desserts in lieu of gifts and you’ll have a sumptuous party!

#11 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 22 December 2019 - 04:29 PM

Don't tell any suppliers it's for a wedding, there's a wedding tax. Say it's a birthday.
Have a small cake to cut ( and there's lots of hacks for icing together a couple of supermarket cakes).
Do you have a favorite local resturant? Could you do Uber Eats?
If doing a full meal stretches the budget too far, aim for afternoon tea.
Consider balloons and tissue flowers for decorating arches as well. You want somethjng amassed to make a statement.

#12 MerryMadrigalMadge

Posted 22 December 2019 - 04:47 PM

I went to a backyard wedding where they were married under a tree.

From the tree they hung a large circle horizontally and from it hung ribbons, strings of glass beads, greenery, etc.

It was so beautiful.

#13 Prancer is coming

Posted 22 December 2019 - 08:37 PM

I went to a backyard wedding,  they had it in the backyard of one of their parents who lived in acreage.  

to tell you the truth, I don’t remember anything about the decorations and don’t see them as being that important.  I do remember the food - a yummy bbq.  They had some yummy salads and good quality sausages.  Such a step up from the woollies 24 pack sausages that seem to be part of every sausage sizzle, and still would have been cheap.

Make it meaningful to you, you could get all the guests involved in reading a poem or verse or giving a little speech.

#14 marley*and*me

Posted 22 December 2019 - 09:02 PM

I have been to a wedding at someone’s house where there were 10 guests.  It was awesome!

We all made the food the day before and that morning and as there was so few of us we had top shelf alcohol.

To make it pretty we just used fairy lights and it looked great.  Was such a super relaxed afternoon and night.

#15 IamtheMumma

Posted 22 December 2019 - 09:40 PM

Congratulations! What exciting news.

A backyard wedding can be perfect. Other posters have great suggestions.

The lack of family can feel wrong despite it being the right choice. Do you have a close friend who can be mum or dad for the day?

Unless its a surprise, ask your friends to help make it a special day. I'm sure they'd love too. There will be someone in your network who'd love to help out in the kitchen so your day can be about you (and yours).

#16 Dianalynch

Posted 22 December 2019 - 09:56 PM

Lots of fairy lights, with tea lights and flowers dotted around in little jars / tins or whatever you can fine - gives a vintage look if that’s your thing

I love small weddings, ours was small.

Congratulations :)

#17 aace

Posted 22 December 2019 - 10:57 PM

We had an at home wedding. We had 12 guests and got a chef and waiters in to serve a meal. They used our kitchen to cook it all up. It cost 1200 and was really lovely. The whole wedding was 2000 so was a huge chunk of our budget but it was worth it for us.

#18 Emm27

Posted 22 December 2019 - 11:38 PM

I went to a gorgeous wedding of our friends earlier this year. We (my partner and our children) were the only guests so along with the two brides, their children, the celebrant and the photographer there were 10 people in total.

They hired a house near the beach for us to stay in for the weekend and we just got dressed up and popped down to a park overlooking the river for the ceremony - then home to take the kiddos to the beach for the afternoon. It was lovely and very special to be a part of.

My partner and I also got married in April - very different style of wedding. We had about 60 guests at an outdoor venue, heaps of food and booze. The thing we loved the most was the lighting as we got married at 5pm and the ceremony went straight into the reception. When the sun set we had beautiful festoon lighting and fairy lights wrapped around these gorgeous big old trees and it was perfect.

I’ve now been to several weddings (all very different to each other) and the thing I noticed is that each one has really reflected the couple being married. Find what it is that represents you both as a couple and go with that.

#19 foxbread

Posted 23 December 2019 - 06:37 AM

I went to a small morning wedding couple of years ago. It was the loveliest one I've attended - ceremony was at a local lookout just after dawn, followed by a champagne breakfast in their backyard. The weird timing worked to make it feel quite special and the light was awesome for photos...

#20 nom_de_plume

Posted 23 December 2019 - 06:47 AM

We recently went to a small wedding. There were 20 people including the bride and groom. They got married at the botanical gardens and had a long lunch at a nice restaurant nearby. They booked out the function room. It was really lovely and intimate.

#21 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 23 December 2019 - 07:30 AM

Oh I forgot to mention, if you want to get make up done, Priceline is offering makeup sessions, different price levels of various glam at very affordable prices. At least you know unlike going for a " make up trial" at a makeup counter you are not going to be pushed to buy expensive make up.

#22 onetrick

Posted 23 December 2019 - 07:31 AM

I think the best advice is to think of what is and isnt important to you and prioritise that way.
If your home isnt suitable, maybe check out non wedding specific venues? Pps have mentioned  backyard weddings, but I have also had some friends hire private rooms at restaurants as their function venue- sitting at one long table with all of the guests. Was so lovely!
You do you- whatever that means to you and your fiance :)

#23 just roses

Posted 23 December 2019 - 08:25 AM

The best backyard decorations are fairy lights. Lots and lots of them. Have the wedding just on dusk and it'll look magical.

If you can afford it, pay a gardener to come in a couple days before and spruce it up, make the edging nice and mow etc. It's amazing the difference it can make.

Small weddings are beautiful.

#24 seayork2002

Posted 23 December 2019 - 08:38 AM

I mean this as a genuine suggestion - could you hire a local scout/church/cwa hall? they usually have kitchens and plenty of space

#25 little lion

Posted 23 December 2019 - 08:57 AM

Creating a Spotify playlist together would be romantic too!

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