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Best advice you've been given (spin off)

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#51 Kallie88

Posted 23 December 2019 - 01:44 PM

You can't fix someone else, you can only support them when/if they choose to help themselves

#52 Backtoschoolchef

Posted 23 December 2019 - 02:01 PM

 kimasa, on 23 December 2019 - 06:32 AM, said:

When you're a shorter person trying to deal with a taller person who is disgruntled try to lead the two of you to sit down, most people's height is in their legs so it brings you both to each other's eye level so they can no longer use their size to intimidate you. It often also puts an object (usually a table) in between the two of you, so they are forced to respect personal space boundaries.

I use this technique a lot at work with men who use their larger size to get into my personal space and talk down to me to get their way.

Im quite tall and I have used the reverse with somebody who was trying to bully me at work. If they came over to my desk Id stand up pretending to get something off a shelf and stay standing. Its harder for them to bully you if they have to look up.

#53 Beancat

Posted 23 December 2019 - 02:25 PM

 ekbaby, on 22 December 2019 - 08:55 PM, said:

“You are the expert on your baby”...I don’t know exactly when it finally sunk in but basically within the first few days you and your babies other parent will be the people who have spent the most time with your baby and know so many little things about them already...remember that

“It doesn’t matter what I think it’s your baby so it has to be what you’re comfortable with”....my dad when talking to me about borrowing an old, non sids safe cot that he thought I was being a bit fussy about...but applies to lots of things

Scrambled eggs or baked beans on toast with some frozen veg are actually a very healthy dinner for a preschooler

“Fall apart Fridays” are a thing in FYOS

Our is fall apart Thrusday night...it still happens with my youngest and she is about to start grade 2 - it is VERY real!!

#54 MooGuru

Posted 23 December 2019 - 02:30 PM

 MincePieMasterchef, on 23 December 2019 - 02:01 PM, said:

Im quite tall and I have used the reverse with somebody who was trying to bully me at work. If they came over to my desk Id stand up pretending to get something off a shelf and stay standing. Its harder for them to bully you if they have to look up.

I've done this too. Very effective.

#55 MsLaurie

Posted 23 December 2019 - 05:14 PM

It’s not for every situation, but “you catch more flies with honey”- people are definitely more helpful and willing to do as you ask if you’re friendly and nice and accommodating than if you’re an a*se. At least over the longer term!

#56 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 23 December 2019 - 05:55 PM

Always work at or above your pay grade.

Just because someone has to do it, that doesn’t make it your job. The men get up and walk away safe in the assumption that someone else will look after it - and they are right. Just don’t let it be you.

#57 hoohoobump

Posted 23 December 2019 - 08:40 PM

 IShallWearTinsel, on 22 December 2019 - 03:57 PM, said:

I do this with my poached eggs, the bottom bit of toast gets all the drippy yolk.

Known as ‘safety burrito’ or ‘safety toast’ in our house.

#58 CallMeFeral

Posted 23 December 2019 - 10:05 PM

 Lucrezia Bauble, on 22 December 2019 - 05:42 PM, said:

trust your training, trust your degree - trust your experience. you deserve to be here. you’ve been accredited objectively, you’re not a fake.

That is awesome.
It's funny how easy it is to not trust myself - but once it's phrased as not trusting those things it's a lot harder to believe.

#59 Jersey Caramel

Posted 24 December 2019 - 04:52 AM

From my dad when we first had kids: when you're rushing to the bathroom with a vomiting toddler, the bath is an easier target than the toilet!
:lol: I have used that advice a lot!

#60 newmumandexcited

Posted 24 December 2019 - 05:23 AM

You can’t afford not to buy a house.

My RE agent brother gave me this advice when I was about 25. It’s not for everyone, but I believe buying a house saved my life - it grew in value and I downsized, by the time I had my three kids, I could afford to stay home a bit etc with them. I believe full time teaching to pay rent/high mortgages would have driven me to the brink with stress.

I know it sounds materialistic but I’m so grateful for my house and the first one I bought.

Edited by newmumandexcited, 24 December 2019 - 05:24 AM.

#61 2bundles

Posted 24 December 2019 - 05:48 AM

Babies/kids come to live with you......not the other way around!!!

#62 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 24 December 2019 - 07:03 AM

 2bundles, on 24 December 2019 - 05:48 AM, said:

Babies/kids come to live with you......not the other way around!!!

If only they got that memo!!

#63 MrsLexiK

Posted 24 December 2019 - 07:07 AM

It’s ok if you don’t have that instant “I love you” when your baby is born and instant connection. You’re not weird. It will come.

#64 born.a.girl

Posted 24 December 2019 - 07:53 AM

One of the ones I found useful is actually mentioned multiple times on the 'bad advice' thread.

My sister had had four kids by the time I had one, and her youngest was mid primary.  

When I'd get exasperated with something our daughter was doing, she reminded me once or twice that 'she won't be doing it when she's 20'.

I found that really useful advice, because it reminded me that this was a 'stage', a stage that many/most kids go through, and which ever way I approached it, it would probably reach its natural conclusion.  I get frustrated quickly (quite different from her) so it was probably in that context that she'd say it.

Once when I was at the house of a person I considered fairly abrupt and grumpy, four year old daughter was making a racket with something and I was trying to shush her.  Bloke picked her up under her arms, asked her sternly how old she was (four) then said 'well you're behaving like a four year old'.  That moment is kinda burnt into my brain.

Sometimes I think we're so busy teaching and guiding our children to be the best they can be, it's easy to forget that they are only acting their age.  It would be a worry if a four year old behaved like an adult.

ETA: I should add, I'm not talking about general advice to parents, or specific advice to someone with a child with special needs, just one person's advice to me, who knew both me and the child well. This particular child would have gone off with this person without a second glance backwards.

Edited by born.a.girl, 24 December 2019 - 08:08 AM.

#65 RichardParker

Posted 30 December 2019 - 08:33 PM

When I was going through a rough patch with DH after a pretty spectacular issue had blown up: an older friend of mine said that a) the time with young children is a difficult time in any marriage; and b) all couples have a “big thing” to get through at least once in your marriage, if this particular thing is your biggest thing, then that’s OK - just work through it as best you can.

Gave me the courage to just tough it out for a bit and I’m really glad I did.

#66 darksideofthemoon

Posted 31 December 2019 - 06:28 AM

(When applying for jobs, promotions etc). Never decide that you dont deserve or are not good enough for a position you want. They can make that decision, if they need to. Don't do it for them. You might as well have a go!

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