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6.5 yo daughter still cries a lot

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#1 **Carol**

Posted 16 January 2020 - 08:34 PM

My daughter is six & a half and still cries every day about something. She will cry in frustration or fear. She has a major fear over physical things like PE at school. She has absolutely no resilience. I get so annoyed at her still carrying on about tiny little things. Tonight it was because her bath puff was down the other end of the bath that she started crying. She didn't think to get up and get it or ask her sister to pass it to her. Drives me insane! Should I seek professional help for her or keep waiting for her to just mature as she gets older?
Sometimes I lose my cool and yell at her to harden up and stop crying all the time. Not proud of that and wish I could understand her better ☹️
I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through something similar with their child.

#2 Backtoschoolchef

Posted 16 January 2020 - 08:41 PM

My older DD was a bit like this, she has dyslexia, low muscle tone and minor sensory issues. Things that have helped a lot are getting more sleep, OT exercises and strategies and also just maturity.
It is partly the age too -
DD2 is going through it a bit now at a similar age

It cant hurt to get a referral.   (DD2 is booked in to see OT and paed )

#3 Zeppelina

Posted 16 January 2020 - 08:49 PM

My DD is 4.5 so it's not the same, but we have spent a lot  of the past six months or so reminding her that people don't know what she wants unless she asks for it (in the case of crying because she doesn't have something she wants), and also reminding her that when she's crying it's hard to understand what she's saying (in the case of dramatic cry-wail-talking - even if we can actually work out what she wants).

All of this is usually done while cuddling/hugging her so she knows we're there for her and we're listening. Lots of deep breaths together to help her calm down, before she asks/talks. I feel like the message is actually getting across, she's been doing the deep breaths/talking thing a bit more than the crying, lately.

eta: this may be of absolutely no use to you at all in your circumstances, especially if there's something else going on with your DD, so apologies if it's irrelevant!

Edited by Zeppelina, 16 January 2020 - 08:49 PM.

#4 Bereckii

Posted 16 January 2020 - 09:21 PM

This might be going in completely the wrong direction, but is she tired?

Oversized tonsils, snoring, etc, can result in poor quality sleep. Exhaustion can heighten emotions and reduce resilience.

Just a thought. Might not be relevant.

#5 PuddingPlease

Posted 16 January 2020 - 09:41 PM

I thought the same, my daughters emotional regulation and ability to communicate go out the window very quickly when she is tired and this can certainly lead to random tears.

#6 Backtoschoolchef

Posted 16 January 2020 - 09:42 PM

^ yes I was in a rush to go to the gym before but I just wanted to re-iterate that most of the sooky and uncooperative behaviour we get is when they are tired. Or Hangry.  

Earlier bedtime and more physical rest after physical activities helps a lot. We actually get our girls to do a lot of sport, outdoor type things and get them to exercise every day but not heaps on the same day.  As they get older they will deal with it better.

#7 FuzzyChocolateToes

Posted 17 January 2020 - 08:47 AM

She sounds like she might get anxious. If so, unfortunately getting frustrated with  her will only make it worse. In my area Anglicare run a variety of parenting courses including one for parents of anxious kids. Here is their link if you are in Victoria:
If not, you might be able to find something similar nearby.

#8 South Coast

Posted 17 January 2020 - 09:37 AM

View PostFuzzyChocolateToes, on 17 January 2020 - 08:47 AM, said:

She sounds like she might get anxious. If so, unfortunately getting frustrated with  her will only make it worse. In my area Anglicare run a variety of parenting courses including one for parents of anxious kids. Here is their link if you are in Victoria:
If not, you might be able to find something similar nearby.

I agree with this - she might be overly sensitive because she is feeling your frustration and does not know how to deal with it.  

That said, my DS is 6.5 and is quite sensitive too!  I get the feeling there is a heightened awareness around this age and kids needs extra love and support..

Good luck OP..

#9 Ivy Ivy

Posted 17 January 2020 - 10:03 AM

My 9 year old daughter cries MULTIPLE times a day, but briefly, i.e. not really drastically upset, just a sudden mood shift when she feels hurt or excluded or thinks I'm favouring her brother or ... insert any of 50000 reasons a kid cries.

OP I think I'm like you, in that I don't cry often at all, and I see it as a somewhat pathetic way of communicating distress, and thus I get extremely intolerant of it.  But maybe that's ok because frankly in the real world repeated crying will irritate others, so it's good she learn not to do it too much, or she'll annoy everyone around her as she does me.

With both kids I've just stopped trying to console and understand them when they're crying.  They huff off to their rooms and I sometimes (depending on what the crying is about, I'm not a monster) just continue doing whatever I'm doing and let them emotionally regulate and calm themselves, then they come tell me how awful x was once they've stopped crying.  That's good for me and I think it teaches them they'll get less attention when in the sulks.

Otherwise I'll get completely emotionally depleted dealing only with repeated crying fits all day, and there will be nothing left in my tank.

#10 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 17 January 2020 - 10:36 AM

I check the same things as a baby before getting annoyed - over tired, under fed or constipated! Any one of those will cause crying at the drop of a hat, even at 8 years old... or 44!!

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