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Kids dressing themselves


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#1 Bigbaubles

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:11 PM

Just wondering

Do you let your kids pick out their own clothes (as in to wear for the day)? Or do you pick them out for them.

Do you let them for all occasions or are there certain times you will pick out their clothes and other times you let them decide.

And how old are your kids?

#2 Cheesy Sanga

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:17 PM

From a young age we've let the kids choose what to wear as long as it's weather and activity appropriate. This has meant some interesting choices but it's all part of their development. Kids are now in mid primary school and wear a uniform so they can only be creative on the weekends.

#3 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:17 PM

I let them for all occasions, have since they were around 2ish. Sometimes I guide them if I feel something is not appropriate for the event.

I also allow them to do as they please with their hair.

For me it’s an important part of teaching body autonomy.

#4 nellie_

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:37 PM

I like to let my child choose what to wear and have given her the option since she was around 1. She's now almost 4 but most days she couldn't care less what she's wearing and would just use it as a reason to not get dressed.

So I give her the option of choosing her clothes then if 15 minutes pass and she hasn't started choosing clothes/getting dressed then I just choose for her. Sometimes she surprises me and has an opinion but most of the time she just isn't interested.

#5 BornToLove

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:38 PM

We let DD chose early on. She was physically able to do things like pull on a pair of pants or put on a shirt from around 18 months so if we dressed her, she would change to what she wanted :p it was not a hill we wanted to die on lol

We do have some rules, like if DD doesn’t want to dress for the weather, she needs to take a ‘back up’ outfit that is weather appropriate. So if DD wants to wear shorts, and it’s freezing, she needs to take some leggings or pants so if she wants to, she can change.

We also provide ‘guidance’ for things like special occasions or where there is expectation of dress standards. We will suggest 1-3 options that are suitable for DD to wear, she knows she needs to chose one if those.

#6 Kallie88

Posted 19 January 2020 - 04:40 PM

We let them choose, for anything. Sometimes I'll suggest something for a special occasion eg. "Do you want to wear this for x?" But if they say no that's fine, if they say yes, bonus lol. Our 1yo doesn't pick yet, but our 2yo and 4yo do,  4yo started around 1 with choosing options 'this or that' type thing.

That said, half the time getting then to wear clothes at all is a struggle haha, we've got a couple of little nudists here 😂

Edited by Kallie88, 19 January 2020 - 04:41 PM.


#7 kimasa

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:19 PM

I used to, but now she genuinely does not care and just waves me off and says "you get something out". If I don't she just doesn't get dressed.

I guess it's just a weird phase she's going through.

#8 MsLaurie

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:25 PM

We do a mix of choose your own, select from a pre-approved short list (usually when I need to ensure weather-appropriate options), and “you have to wear X or we’re not going”. This final category includes things like uniform for sports, sensible shoes for kindy, or the odd special occasion outfit.
Mostly she chooses eye-wateringly bright colours and patterns, with a special love of yellow leggings and hot pink striped tees, so it’s rather fun. She’s five, but this has been in place roughly since 2.5.

#9 born.a.girl

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:36 PM

If I'd waited for my daughter to dress herself we'd be still home at lunchtime for the first year of school.

From memory, I'd give her a choice, and she was happy to be given that choice.


She's developed into someone with an amazing ability to throw clothes together (still from the floor, generally) and doesn't slavishly follow fashion, despite suffering significant anxiety, so I'm calling it a parenting win.

#10 Hands Up

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:37 PM

Our kids are four and five and they choose most of the time. They wear some interesting combos. They have one “good” outfit each which they wear when I deem it appropriate!

Shoes we sometimes intervene on just based on safety etc.

#11 seayork2002

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:40 PM

D12 just wears whatever comes out of the wardrobe, he does not have 'good' clothes apart from a couple of summer casual collared shirts.

We ask him does he have a preference what to take on camps/holidays/nights out/parties etc. he doesn't

Shoes are pretty much all the same so work always

Edited by seayork2002, 19 January 2020 - 05:41 PM.


#12 daisy007

Posted 19 January 2020 - 05:44 PM

Mine choose their own clothes. It does hurt me a little when all the beautiful Scandinavia clothing I’ve so carefully chosen gets rejected in favour of wiggles and Batman!

#13 GingerbreadWoman

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:12 PM

My four year old has been choosing her own clothes since about 2. Fortunately for me her preferred outfit is a tshirt, pants or shorts, and sneakers, as she says they are best for running and playing. So while she sometimes chooses some interesting colour combinations she is generally dressed sensibly for any activity.

There are some dresses in her cupboard, because Grandma keeps buying them. I occasionally ask if she’d like to wear one, and she has tried most of them on at some point, but will then take them off and go back to her ‘comfy’ clothes.

#14 Bigbaubles

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:25 PM

hmm ok, so it seems like i'm in the minority here...

My 3 year old really wants to dress herself all the time but I struggle to go out with her looking like a weird hyper patterned bag lady.. I try and offer her a few clothing choices and sometimes it works..

I let her choose clothes for daycare, but I always think that everyone must think i'm blind when I dress her lol.

I might just have to start buying plain looking clothing lol.

#15 Mooples

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:28 PM

Ds1 is 4, most of the time he couldn’t care less what he wears so i offer him 2 choices. When we are going out somewhere nice I choose. If he does want to choose I’m cool with it as long as he doesn’t pick his expensive stuff to wear around the house and outside in the backyard.

Ds2 is just 2 and I choose everything he wears.

#16 seayork2002

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:35 PM

View PostBigbaubles, on 19 January 2020 - 06:25 PM, said:

hmm ok, so it seems like i'm in the minority here...

My 3 year old really wants to dress herself all the time but I struggle to go out with her looking like a weird hyper patterned bag lady.. I try and offer her a few clothing choices and sometimes it works..

I let her choose clothes for daycare, but I always think that everyone must think i'm blind when I dress her lol.

I might just have to start buying plain looking clothing lol.

I don't notice what other kids wear i don't think, and doubt DS does or if  he does he has never mentioned it

#17 Mmmcheese

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:36 PM

Mine mostly chooses her own and has since she was little. The beanie, thongs, shorts, tshirt and swimming goggles combo was a favourite when she was 2 1/2. I love seeing kids who've clearly dressed themselves. It really brings a smile to my face.

#18 Bigbaubles

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:37 PM

View Postseayork2002, on 19 January 2020 - 06:35 PM, said:

I don't notice what other kids wear i don't think, and doubt DS does or if  he does he has never mentioned it

I definitely notice what other kids wear, but I don't know if it's because i'm wondering about kids dressing themselves etc.
or if it's because I like kids fashion in general..

#19 Avocadotree

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:50 PM

I pretty much choose all my two DS’s outfits when going out of the house.  Inside they can choose, I just expect them to not wear their “good clothes”.  I like my kids to look half decent when we are out and as they don’t have strong preferences yet, it works for us.    All our clothes are pretty much from Target/ Kmart etc so not expensive or the latest fashion but I insist on matching colours etc.

#20 daisy007

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:58 PM

I love seeing a kid dressed in a collection of tutu, beanie, princess dress and gum boots etc. It makes me so happy that that beautiful little soul has chosen an outfit that makes them feel good.

#21 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:00 PM

I really don’t think there is any judgement when people see kids out and about in very mix matched clothing.

I know look, smile and think good on those parents for allowing that kid to be themselves!!

#22 Kallie88

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:17 PM

View PostBigbaubles, on 19 January 2020 - 06:25 PM, said:

hmm ok, so it seems like i'm in the minority here...

My 3 year old really wants to dress herself all the time but I struggle to go out with her looking like a weird hyper patterned bag lady.. I try and offer her a few clothing choices and sometimes it works..

I let her choose clothes for daycare, but I always think that everyone must think i'm blind when I dress her lol.

I might just have to start buying plain looking clothing lol.

I've never noticed anyone care what my kids wear except when ds started wearing dresses (not strangers, they just assume he's a girl). We've slowly educated most of them :)

#23 Jingleflea

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:21 PM

I pretty much let DD(9) choose her clothes, unless she's wanting to wear her navy velvet bomber jacket and it's 40 forking degrees outside.  Honestly, i wonder wtf she's thinking some days lol.

When she was a toddler I'd select 2 tops to match the pants or leggings I had for her so she had some say in her life.
Or I'd let her choose the cloth nappy she wanted.

I also am the one buying her clothes so she won't be dressing too old for her age, no heels, or crop tops or short shorts etc.

#24 Bigbaubles

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:23 PM

View PostKallie88, on 19 January 2020 - 07:17 PM, said:

I've never noticed anyone care what my kids wear except when ds started wearing dresses (not strangers, they just assume he's a girl). We've slowly educated most of them Posted Image

Oh I don't think anyone will care, but I just feel a bit weird about her looking so odd..

#25 Team Awesome

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:31 PM

I stopped picking on a daily basis around 18 months unless it wasn’t weather appropriate or too dressy for playing in the mud or something. Eldest is 15.5 and youngest is 9yo.

In terms of purchasing I go for things they like but in a size or two up with restrictions such as sun appropriate and not super expensive. Eg you could buy that one for $100 but in another store we might find similar item for $25-30 and you’ll get more clothes out of what I have budgeted for today.




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