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Men demanding to be breastfed

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#26 Ozquoll

Posted 29 January 2020 - 08:59 PM

Nothing any of us on this thread can do is likely to help the women of Uganda, so are we simply not meant to talk about it?

#27 AnythingGoes

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:03 PM

View Post#notallcats, on 29 January 2020 - 08:51 PM, said:

Again, how does that help the women of Uganda?

I've no idea what you are getting at. Are you saying we can't discuss a topic unless the discussion will have an impact on the subject?

Does that go for all topics - or just ones that make you uncomfortable?

#28 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:03 PM

abusive practices have long been pardoned under the guise of “culture”. according to the article -

“Uganda’s minister of state for health, Sarah Opendi, broke the silence in parliament in 2018 and warned against “a growing culture of men demanding to suckle, which was becoming a problem for some breastfeeding mothers and their babies”.

surely Ms Opendi is in a position to make this negative judgment of the practice? and we’re all agreeing with her?

#29 #notallcats

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:04 PM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 29 January 2020 - 08:58 PM, said:

How does your implication that domestic abuse is culturally A-OK help?

Ok I never said that.

View PostPurplePaperFrog, on 29 January 2020 - 08:59 PM, said:

How does your comment help?

It doesn't ... I never claimed it either.  

Why are people being so defensive?  I said I felt uncomfortable with the tone of the thread, ignore me.

#30 Treasure Island

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:18 PM


I'm probably going to express myself poorly, but I'm uncomfortable with a predominantly white, western culture commenting and criticising black people (of Africa) with little understanding of their culture or history.  Especially consider our complete failure in protecting our own women, and vulnerable members of society.

The study is important, the reporting is important ... but the tone of the thread makes me uncomfortable.

If you are uncomfortable with people talking out against the abuse of women and babies then Essential Baby may not be the right place for you.

#31 CallMeFeral

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:45 PM

View Post#notallcats, on 29 January 2020 - 09:04 PM, said:

It doesn't ... I never claimed it either.  

No but you did imply that other people's comments/opinions had to 'help' to be valid. It seems fair for yours to be examined through the same lens.

#32 Sancti-claws

Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:52 PM

View PostEsmeLennox, on 29 January 2020 - 07:23 PM, said:

What the ****ety ****?  

I just don’t know what to say...

Edited by Sancti-claws, 29 January 2020 - 09:52 PM.

#33 ali-song

Posted 29 January 2020 - 10:06 PM

View Post#notallcats, on 29 January 2020 - 09:04 PM, said:

Why are people being so defensive?  I said I felt uncomfortable with the tone of the thread, ignore me.

I agree, #notallcats - I’ve worked in Africa on public health/sexual health projects, and there are many, many practices I find repugnant (‘dry and tight’ sex, anyone?). However, the colonial history of Africa means that white people coming in shouting ‘men are pigs!’ is rarely effective. I’m not at all suggesting the issue shouldn’t be investigated and addressed. Just... it’s complicated.

#34 purplekitty

Posted 29 January 2020 - 10:24 PM

It is more solidarity with our sisters.

#35 lucky 2

Posted 29 January 2020 - 11:07 PM

I had no idea this was a thing.
I sometimes provide post natal care for African women.
I've never heard a whisper of this.
I wonder if it happens in Australia?

Establishing bfing  can be challenging enough without someone else demanding extra milk.
Yes, you can tandem feed, twins, triplets, siblings and sure I imagine some partners having a suckle, all with mutual consent.
But being subjected to it out of fear or expectation is abusive.

#36 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 30 January 2020 - 07:13 AM

View Postpurplekitty, on 29 January 2020 - 10:24 PM, said:

It is more solidarity with our sisters.


personally, i see this as a different thing to a “white, western” feminism critique of, say, the burqa - while at the same time refusing to acknowledge the cultural and oppressive practices at play in our culture with regards to, pubic hair removal for example. or makeup. when western women scream “that’s my choice! i choose my choice! it makes me feel cleaner - but the burqa is bad” then yeh, that’s cultural imperialism and a complete failure to critically examine what’s going on. both flip sides of the one coin - as a woman you’re either private property, or public property made up to satisfy the male gaze. either way the message is clear -  you’re property. you’re not making these “choices” in a vacuum.

but this is different i think. this is female oppression with a basis in biology (as it always is. always. biology is important) that transcends culture. we are all female, we all have breasts - the decision as to who has access to our bodies should be ours alone. western women don’t have this freedom. and nor do ugandan women.

Edited by Lucrezia Bauble, 30 January 2020 - 07:14 AM.

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