Jump to content

Is the term ‘dear’ back in vogue?


  • Please log in to reply
34 replies to this topic

#1 Silver Girl

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:26 PM

As a child, in my experience, the word “dear” as a term of endearment was often used by elderly people, and it seemed archaic to me even then. For example, an older person might go to the butcher and ask for “that piece of silverside, please dear.”

Or, it was used in a patronising or absent minded way. “Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear.”

In the last few months, the usage of “dear” seems to be back. I’ve seen a few instances where people have posted nice pictures on social media, (like their renovations, cooking etc) and had comments like, “looks good dear.” A school Mum texted me to say, “thank you dear” when I volunteered to help her with something.

Has anyone else noticed this word being revived?

#2 seayork2002

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:31 PM

Well I use it on DH

Seriously I think some older expressions seem to be popping up recently

#3 Lou-bags

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:37 PM

I use it with my children mostly. ‘Hello my dear’
Also darling, and beautiful. I didn’t realise how often until DS2, just turned 2 at the time, went up and said it to our dog when we arrived home.

Also, my dad calls my mum dear.

#4 Oriental lily

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:49 PM

It is very ‘leave it Beaver’ or other early tv sitcomes .

i think it’s said kinda ironically like ‘would you go clean up the dog sh*t dear’

talking in a conservative way in a  very 2020 situation .

#5 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:52 PM

Now you mention it, younger friends do seem to use it.

#6 lizzzard

Posted 10 February 2020 - 09:55 PM

I use 'my dear' with close friends and female colleagues.

I distinctly remember when I 'noted' the  phrase. A young female partner at my first employer used it occasionally when speaking to her female colleagues. It was such an affectionate term that I loved and I made a point of using it myself when I later moved on. I only use it in quite specific contexts though - I find it really fits the bill when I'm trying to convey appreciation, care, concern etc and only when I have a close relationship with the person.

I think the usage above is a bit different to what you're describing though OP. Personally I'd like to see a comeback of the phrase. I really like it!

#7 Chocolate Addict

Posted 10 February 2020 - 10:34 PM

I only use my dear in a condescending way :p
I never use 'Darl' or luv/love.

I do use sweetie, darling (usually my darling)

Not heard younger people use it though.

#8 mpoppins92

Posted 10 February 2020 - 10:55 PM

I use my dear and my love or my lovely to my partner, it’s not ironic and I’m 27.

At work when I speak to lots of random children I don’t know I use sweet pea, chicken, chook, matey, honeybunch, sweetheart, kiddo etc. I try to stop but I can’t help it!

#9 Bam1

Posted 11 February 2020 - 05:44 AM

Dear can come back into vogue if it replaces the even more patronising ‘Hun’

#10 Pearson

Posted 11 February 2020 - 06:01 AM

View PostBam1, on 11 February 2020 - 05:44 AM, said:

Dear can come back into vogue if it replaces the even more patronising ‘Hun’

OMG I hate this word. People use it on social media and it's very patronising. Up there with Babes.

#11 TheGreenSheep

Posted 11 February 2020 - 06:50 AM

I’m not one to use ‘dear’ but I use a multitude of others both at home and work. The older generation absolutely love endearments when talking.

#12 KittyTsui

Posted 11 February 2020 - 07:12 AM

What do you mean 'back' in vogue? ;) As far as I am aware it never went away! :) I use it with hubby, DD1/2, sisters, close female friends and have for years. Lots of my junior female staff use it as well with each other, so maybe it's a 'thing' again, or maybe it never really went away? who knows?

If you like it, use it. If not, don't :)

#13 seayork2002

Posted 11 February 2020 - 07:48 AM

View PostPearson, on 11 February 2020 - 06:01 AM, said:



OMG I hate this word. People use it on social media and it's very patronising. Up there with Babes.

I do admit to getting a twitch when i hear

'Miss ya babe/babes'

Etc.

Edited by seayork2002, 11 February 2020 - 07:48 AM.


#14 Soontobegran

Posted 11 February 2020 - 08:23 AM

As someone who is from the 'dear' days I think it is now used more often in a condescending way although I also prefer being called this than hun, love, babe and dude by strangers.

#15 Ozquoll

Posted 11 February 2020 - 08:29 AM

View PostTheGreenSheep, on 11 February 2020 - 06:50 AM, said:

The older generation absolutely love endearments when talking.
This topic always gets EB going 😄. I like older people who say "love" or "darl" or what have you. Only term I dislike is "ma'am" - yuck.

#16 seayork2002

Posted 11 February 2020 - 08:33 AM

View PostOzquoll, on 11 February 2020 - 08:29 AM, said:

This topic always gets EB going . I like older people who say "love" or "darl" or what have you. Only term I dislike is "ma'am" - yuck.

Yes where I used to live overseas they said it quite a bit and I loved the way they said it (love, dear, etc.)

I do love ma'am when said by an American though especially from the southern states

I have heard 'terms of affection' said in annoying ways also so I guess for me it depends

#17 DirtyStreetPie

Posted 11 February 2020 - 08:38 AM

I call my husband and son "hun". I wish I could stop, but I can't! My "hun" is more of an extended "huuuuuuuuun", which I use when I'm asking for a favour. "Huuuuuuuuun, could you please fix the quilt? It's floating around in the cover again. Thanks hun. Love you!!"

I swear, I'm not trying to sell them essential oils...

As for "dear", I've only heard other Indian women say it. Maybe it's a cultural thing?

#18 seayork2002

Posted 11 February 2020 - 08:40 AM

View PostDirtyStreetPie, on 11 February 2020 - 08:38 AM, said:

I call my husband and son "hun". I wish I could stop, but I can't! My "hun" is more of an extended "huuuuuuuuun", which I use when I'm asking for a favour. "Huuuuuuuuun, could you please fix the quilt? It's floating around in the cover again. Thanks hun. Love you!!"

I swear, I'm not trying to sell them essential oils...

As for "dear", I've only heard other Indian women say it. Maybe it's a cultural thing?

Yes I heard it a bit in Bradford (UK) and loved they way they did it, it just worked

#19 Jane Jetson

Posted 11 February 2020 - 09:20 AM

I really hope it's not back.

I find it to be one of the more obnoxiously patronising terms of endearment given out by strangers (much worse than "ma'am" and definitely as bad as "hun" or "darl").

It may be because when I use such terms myself - though I don't say "dear," the only ones I use are "mate" and "dude" - they are not friendly and actually mean, "you idiot".

#20 Lady Gray

Posted 11 February 2020 - 10:27 AM

I secretly love it when older people call me dear (assuming it is said in kindness).

#21 spr_maiden

Posted 11 February 2020 - 11:37 AM

I must say "oh dear", both of my children would say it when little and something broke or dropped etc. But I don't tend to use "dear" as a nickname.
So many EBers would hate talking to me - I use (my)lovely, dude, sister and matey often with friends.  
Only my partner gets babe occasionally though mostly he's lover haha , and he and my children all get my darling.  
I can't stand hun, babes, or white people saying boo.

#22 SummerStar

Posted 11 February 2020 - 11:45 AM

I haven't heard it used in every day life.
But it's always been used heavily by overseas call centres or overseas online support. Telstra chat and calling them every second word is "dear"
"sure dear", "I can help you with that dear for sure".

But I don't hear it in normal day and I day life these days.

#23 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 11 February 2020 - 12:03 PM

i don’t mind dear. depends on context of course, it can be patronising - as can anything. i don’t really care for “hon” but for some people it’s just their way of speaking, the intention behind it is fine so, it’s all good.


#24 chillipeppers

Posted 11 February 2020 - 12:29 PM

View PostBam1, on 11 February 2020 - 05:44 AM, said:

Dear can come back into vogue if it replaces the even more patronising ‘Hun’
yuk my hairdresser says this all the time, it’s very annoying

#25 VigilantePaladin

Posted 11 February 2020 - 12:39 PM

View PostLucrezia Bauble, on 11 February 2020 - 12:03 PM, said:

i don’t mind dear. depends on context of course, it can be patronising - as can anything. i don’t really care for “hon” but for some people it’s just their way of speaking, the intention behind it is fine so, it’s all good.
This. Surely most people can tell the difference?




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.