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New violin teacher - quitting


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#1 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 12 February 2020 - 06:32 PM

My brain isn't functioning too well for me right now.  I'm hot and sticky.  Think for me EB!!

DD's been learning the violin for 12mths.  Her teacher who she loved and was very good with her has left.  She was very student led - DD picked songs to play and they had fund. The music school couldn't replace the teacher so we have gone elsewhere.  I have asked the school to let me know if they get a new violin teacher as we were very happy there (and it is closer)

This teacher is much more formal in her approach.  More about following a process.  I've already spoken to DD about giving this teacher a chance.  Tonight she tells me point blank she's not going to her lesson.  She's going to teach herself.

I got her to agree to let me cool down from this wretched humidity and talk to her later.

I'm already thinking of saying I'll speak to the teacher about changing her approach with DD and then see?

Help

#2 Mollyksy

Posted 12 February 2020 - 06:40 PM

Def speak to the teacher. Where did the old teacher go? Any chance old teacher could either teach again privately/ on the side or recommend someone with their same approach? Maybe try unis with a music program to get a younger student? Or even a high school student? Any youth orchestras around?

I am assuming from your tone that your aim is for your DD to enjoy the lessons and music not to build for a career in the music world! Having the right teacher makes a difference. Maybe new teacher is just used to Tiger Mums and Dads and when told of your DDs preference for fun and a more relaxed style will be happy to change tact.

Is she doing exams and grading? I assume not but that would also effect teaching style. Poor kid. I had a music tutor that was a year 12 then uni music student that I adored. The young person aspect helped with me!

#3 born.a.girl

Posted 12 February 2020 - 06:54 PM

I can understand.  Much to my mother's dismay, after we moved and I had a very formal, very technically focused teacher who seemed to lack a funny bone, I gave up piano. I was the first one they'd ever been able to afford lessons for, for anything (fifth child) so when I look back now I wish I'd taken a more reasoned approach, because I can no longer play.


Funnily enough the previous teacher had been a nun, and had been lots of fun, so I missed that.


Have you paid for the term?  I once did a deal with my daughter that involved her sticking it out for the term that I'd paid for.  In that instance nothing had changed for her so it was more reasonable of me to expect that, after paying the term's fees.

#4 Trevor Trove

Posted 12 February 2020 - 07:01 PM

Find a new teacher! Life is too short to deal with crap teachers, at least you can sack this one!

#5 Kreme

Posted 12 February 2020 - 08:10 PM

Both of my kids gave up their instruments after their teachers left. They had really clicked with those teachers and we just couldn’t find anyone similar.

I think it’s important to enjoy music lessons. I’d look for a new teacher.

#6 Nasty Teens

Posted 12 February 2020 - 08:14 PM

View PostTrevor Trove, on 12 February 2020 - 07:01 PM, said:

Find a new teacher! Life is too short to deal with crap teachers, at least you can sack this one!
Different doesn't equal crap. Similar issue, 2 children changing teachers. One preferred the first, choosing songs together, the other preferred the second more formal, by the book approach. Neither teacher better or worse, just better or worse for the individual child.

#7 Froyohoho

Posted 12 February 2020 - 09:54 PM

View PostNasty Teens, on 12 February 2020 - 08:14 PM, said:


Different doesn't equal crap. Similar issue, 2 children changing teachers. One preferred the first, choosing songs together, the other preferred the second more formal, by the book approach. Neither teacher better or worse, just better or worse for the individual child.
Exactly this.

#8 CallMeFeral

Posted 12 February 2020 - 10:38 PM

I would go to a new teacher. As much as there is no harm in talking to her, realistically people seem to have a style, and her style doesn't suit your daughter.
I mean no harm in talking to her and then trying it out for a couple of weeks but I imagine the outcome will be leaving.

#9 Manicmum

Posted 12 February 2020 - 10:59 PM

I’d let her quit..... at the end of the term.

#10 Prancer is coming

Posted 12 February 2020 - 11:02 PM

View PostNasty Teens, on 12 February 2020 - 08:14 PM, said:

Different doesn't equal crap. Similar issue, 2 children changing teachers. One preferred the first, choosing songs together, the other preferred the second more formal, by the book approach. Neither teacher better or worse, just better or worse for the individual child.

I took it as meaning crap for her child!

Same but different, but DS’s speech therapist quit out of the blue.  We had been seeing her for a year.  The centre marched us up with another one.  After the first appointment I did not feel that thrilled with her and DS did not like her.  I was paying almost $100 for a 30 minute appointment and I figured why should I part with so much cash and spend so much time encouraging DS to give her a go and adjusting to a different way of doing things just for the sake of it.  So we swapped to a different centre and we were both happy.

Kids that age can be hard at the best of time.  Your  DD is telling you the lessons are not suited her needs.  Rather than making her go (unless already paid up) I would explore with her if she was interested in finding a different teacher.  I imagine the teacher is happy with her current style and I also don’t want the hassle of trying to deal with how she teachers.  I would just be upfront with the new potential teachers about what your DD needs and discuss a trial (paid).

#11 BornToLove

Posted 13 February 2020 - 01:46 AM

We have had this issue with a swim instructor and last year’s classroom teacher. Both situations we handled differently.

With the swimming lessons, we asked that DD finish out the term but we would ensure a new teacher the following term. DD was happy with the compromise and didn’t put up with much fuss knowing there was a clear end coming. I would take this approach with your situation OP.

We didn’t have much choice when it came to the classroom teacher. We did try to intervene and mediate some of the larger issues and offered support at home the rest of the time. We had a lot of conversations about not always liking your superiors but making the most of it. It was a very long school year but DD had a lot of personal growth from it.

#12 Bigbaubles

Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:24 AM

Different teachers take different approaches.

I'm a private teacher and i'm less formal, more child led. This approach is not necessarily what parents want, which is why if I think a parent is pushing for exams and a strict regime that they might be better suited to another teaher.
I like the kids doing exams, but only if the kid wants to and it's not being pushed from behind.

Search around, see if a few teachers might to a trial lesson? Your daughter will probably get the feel of a teacher straight away in the first lesson.

It's funny because as an adult my husband and I (both musos) were talking about our favourite and least favourite teacher. His favourite teacher was actually my least! I detested him and quit piano, but he inspired my husband, so different teachers for different kids.

#13 born.a.girl

Posted 13 February 2020 - 06:49 AM

I agree, too, about different teachers suiting different people.

I'm about to buy a weighted keyboard, and re-learn after 50 years of not playing.  I also doubt I'm going to be able to learn at the same rate as I did then!

I should imagine it will take a bit of work to find a teacher suitable for me.

#14 spr_maiden

Posted 13 February 2020 - 07:10 AM

I think if you're paid up for the term, continue until term end.  Can still use that time to look around for and trial another more suitable teacher.
We are in the process of finding a new music teacher - there are so many out there,  you'll find one that inspires your DD more.

#15 Lady Monteagle

Posted 13 February 2020 - 07:28 AM

Firstly, she can't teach herself violin (you didn't mention whether you were considering that as a valid approach).

Secondly, absolutely don't stay with a teacher who doesn't suit your child.  Having said that, any decent teacher should be responsive to the individual child, so it may be worth a conversation with the teacher to see whether they are willing and able to adapt?  

Lastly: it is quite possible to teach excellent technique and sophisticated musicality - what most people would consider a 'formal' approach - whilst keeping the lessons fun and inspirational.  But you have to keep looking to find those teachers.

(bornagirl - good on you and good luck!  when i taught piano, my fave students were the adults coming back to it after harsh childhood experiences - we had such fun together)

#16 CrankyM

Posted 13 February 2020 - 08:59 AM

I definitely find another teacher. We deliberately chose a teacher (piano) who manages to mix musical theory, history and teach technique and musicality/plying in a fun informal way with my youngest. He wouldn’t thrive in a structured curriculum at all. But is managing to learn a fair bit while it being fun. (Who knew darth Vader’s theme song is great for piano fingering for example?)




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