Jump to content

5th birthday party but no friends!


  • Please log in to reply
61 replies to this topic

#26 seayork2002

Posted 17 February 2020 - 08:24 AM

Unless a child wants a party then it is for the parents rather than the child, but there is no way I would invite more than I could handle so not sure on this 'oh but half won't show'.

DS plays with kids from all different classes so there was no way he was having a whole class party PLUS his friends.

Plus if it works that we would have to fit in 30 parties a year plus if he has siblings that would be double etc.

I would just go with what ever your child wants, my son would have felt overwhelmed with that many kids at a party at that age.

#27 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 17 February 2020 - 08:33 AM

In the park, a big plate of watermelon, some crackers/popcorn, and cake. The other parents will love you for keeping it simple to lower the expectations on them.

#28 scooty

Posted 17 February 2020 - 08:48 AM

I have a very shy DS and we do for him a lunch at home with cousins on the Saturday (every year) and then on the Sunday (every year) we do a movie with 2 school friends, or some other outing. It costs a bit less and is much less overwhelming for our child. The benefits are that I really get to know the children he invites for school as its true quality time. I can spend a bit more on the quality of the event aswell, as there are much less attendees. This year it was the movies to see Sonic the hedgehog (actually it was yesterday!!), got all the snacks they wanted, so that felt special, then went to the local park for a play afterwards for about 2 hours. Was such a great day.

Other ideas I've done for past birthdays with his older brother are:

Theatre musicals, (Matilda, Lion King - good to buy the ticket deals cheaply)
Swimming pool day
Fun park like Luna Park, waterparks

Great for creating memories and not overwhelming for the child.

#29 Questionable13

Posted 17 February 2020 - 09:01 AM

My daughter was invited to a few parties last yr (6 yr olds) and the parents invited the whole class, sometimes 2 X classes.
I don't think it necessarily aids in friendships. Most of those kids, my daughter is not even friends with now!


My daughter was 50/50 about a party so we decided not to have one. We had a family gathering and she loved it. We told her this year that she can maybe have a small party at home with some of her friends (now that she has formed some close friendships).

I'd ask your daughter what she wants to do and go from there!

#30 Blue Shoe

Posted 17 February 2020 - 09:49 AM

Waiting another month or two and seeing what friendships have formed by then seems like a good option. It’s really only FYOS that you will have this problem for so celebrating their birthday late this one time isn’t really a big deal.

#31 PuddingPlease

Posted 17 February 2020 - 10:08 AM

A lot of people are suggesting park parties but they're really only an easy, cheap and stress free option if you have a workable back-up plan available. If your house is too small to relocate the party then a rainy day or extreme heat can be a nightmare to sort out.

We have a couple of nice little parks near us but they lack either toilets or adequate covered areas so not really viable for big groups.

#32 MsLaurie

Posted 17 February 2020 - 10:36 AM

If your daughter isn’t keen, don’t do it. No point going to all the trouble for something she might not be keen on.
For my daughter’s 4th birthday, she had been talking for MONTHS about her party, and her cake, and games... and for her 5th, she wasn’t excited at all and didn’t want a party. I think it was because she was unsure about the friendship situation at 5, so it wasn’t a fun thing to think about.
Part of the joy is anticipation, so if that’s not there, don’t do it. Have a family party with her favourite food, a fancy cake, and a special day out somewhere. Much more enjoyable than a party she isn’t excited about with a bunch of kids she barely knows yet.

#33 CrankyM

Posted 17 February 2020 - 10:37 AM

Maybe wait another month?
Or ask the teacher if they have noticed if you children have an particular friends?
Have a small party with just family friend or friends from pre-school/daycare?
If you have an appropriate park near by they really are the easiest option, espeically with the whole class party that seems fairly normal for FYOS. A table with some watermelon, bowls of popcorn and a cake. I think we did sausages because they had a hotplate at the park and we just took a esky water cooler thing that we filled with water and ice with paper cups. If your DH is insisting on a party get him to do most of the organizing.

(My parties are boring. We never do games and the food is simple. We also only do a party every other year because I hate organising them.)

I'll also say, I'm still not 100% sure who my kids friends or their parents are and they are in yr 4 and 6. One had a sleepover party with a kid I'd never heard of before on the weekend...

Edited by MayaTheGrinch, 17 February 2020 - 10:38 AM.


#34 amdirel

Posted 17 February 2020 - 10:38 AM

I would do a whole class party at the park.

#35 EsmeLennox

Posted 17 February 2020 - 10:44 AM

I’d ask my child what they wanted to do and do that.

#36 Lou-bags

Posted 17 February 2020 - 11:32 AM

View Post22Fruitmincepies, on 17 February 2020 - 08:33 AM, said:

In the park, a big plate of watermelon, some crackers/popcorn, and cake. The other parents will love you for keeping it simple to lower the expectations on them.

This.

Actually, this is almost exactly what we did for DS1's 5th birthday party with school friends. We just said "join us for a play and cake at x park etc etc".

We made it an afternoon after school from 3.30pm (and noted that cake would be at 4.30pm so people knew they had a bit of time to get there and it wouldn't matter if they were a bit late).

By far the easiest party I've ever thrown. So much so that we did similar for his 6th birthday. But this time ordered a pile of cheap pizzas, and a cake. And that's it. Play in the park at x time, pizza and a play. Over and done with in 1.5-2 hours.

View PostMayaTheGrinch, on 17 February 2020 - 10:37 AM, said:



My parties are boring. We never do games and the food is simple.



Same. I loathe party games. Getting the kids to participate is like herding cats, and then you need prizes and all that extra fuss and I can't be bothered.

Actually, I lie, we did have a pinata for DS1's 6th birthday party. He was desperate for one so DH organised it.

#37 AnythingGoes

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:01 PM

I think the whole of class party thing must be area / school dependent. DS went to about 8 parties in FYOS and not one was a whole of class party - more like 5 - 8 kids from school, and a few friends of the family kind of thing.  Combination of venues (bounce etc) or house parties.

I've never been game to do a park party - the weather is too unpredictable in Melbourne (with a winter birthday too) and we can't use our tiny place as a back up.  

But I love the idea of the after school park party with pizzas etc.

#38 annodam

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:14 PM

View PostAllyK81, on 17 February 2020 - 06:23 AM, said:

DS was FYOS last year and most kids had a whole class party. It was a great way for the kids and parents to know each other. Our kids will be at school together until Year 12 so it is worth the time and effort to get to know each other.



You obviously have NO idea!
We are at a Pre-Prep-Yr 12 School, my daughter graduated last year (Yr 12) & of the 35 students who started Prep way back when, only 9 remained until Yr 12.
Even in my sons class (who is now in Yr 5) half the kids have left & more will come & go before he graduates in 8yrs time.
If you think that the same kids will be there right till the end  & your child will have the same friendship group up to Yr 12, you're delusional...


Anyway OP, we don't have parties, I always offer my kids time away & they grab it with both hands...

#39 nom_de_plume

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:16 PM

View PostLucrezia Bauble, on 17 February 2020 - 07:35 AM, said:

personally i think inviting the whole class on the assumption half won’t turn up is a bit of a risk - particularly if your prime concern is you can’t afford a party for the whole class. what if they do all turn up? i’d check with your dd first, maybe she has a view - or else I’d do Ellie Beans suggestion - just invite the girls in her class.

Agree.

I invited the entire FYOS class last year and 20/24 kids ended up coming!!! I wrongly assumed only half would come because the previous year I invited the entire kinder class and only 8/28 came.  

Lesson learned.

All the parties we went to in FYOS were either entire class or girls/boys only.

#40 TheGreenSheep

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:21 PM

View Postkerilyntaryn, on 17 February 2020 - 07:32 AM, said:

Quite a number of the kids you invite wont be able to come,  parties can be a good way to make friends, for her and you.  I'd invite the whole class and probably only half will turn up.  What about having a party at Hungry Jacks or McDonalds,  they can be quite inexpensive and you dont have to do the work
I wholeheartedly disagree that only half will come. If you invite them, be prepared that all will come. Our DSs birthdays both fall over a popular holiday period and I always assumed people would go away... nope! They always get a full party of kids. I only wish they all didn’t come....

#41 Kallie88

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:26 PM

I think the most important thing here is what your dd wants. There's no point organizing a whole thing if she doesn't really want a bunch of people over.

My dd is at the end of the year, so I'm guessing we'll probably have a few friends to invite by then, but likely until she's bigger we'll mostly have a family party (bbq at home) and invite some friends if she chooses.

#42 AllyK81

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:32 PM

View Postannodam, on 17 February 2020 - 12:14 PM, said:

You obviously have NO idea!
We are at a Pre-Prep-Yr 12 School, my daughter graduated last year (Yr 12) & of the 35 students who started Prep way back when, only 9 remained until Yr 12.
Even in my sons class (who is now in Yr 5) half the kids have left & more will come & go before he graduates in 8yrs time.
If you think that the same kids will be there right till the end  & your child will have the same friendship group up to Yr 12, you're delusional...


Anyway OP, we don't have parties, I always offer my kids time away & they grab it with both hands...

Leaving aside that this is an unnecessarily rude and aggressive post in a thread about children's birthday parties, I suspect the attrition rate will be reasonably small where we live. Many of the parents of DS school mates went to the same school and have lived in our area for several generations.

Edited by AllyK81, 18 February 2020 - 07:44 AM.


#43 Ozquoll

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:36 PM

***Can't quote for some reason, but responding to annodam's post***


LOL annodam - don't hold back, tell us what you *really* think! 😂

Might be dependent on the school/area as to whether most of the same kids stick around from Prep through to Year 12. At the school I attended in a country area, almost all the same people I started school with were still there in Year 12. Probably 80% of them.

DS's school is quite different. He started FYOS school with 45 other kids - at the end of the year eight or nine of them left the school. As a public school in an area where people mostly attend private schools, I expect there'll also be a huge exodus in Year 5, and very few of the kids will attend a public high school.

Edited by Ozquoll, 17 February 2020 - 12:36 PM.


#44 seayork2002

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:42 PM

View PostOzquoll, on 17 February 2020 - 12:36 PM, said:

***Can't quote for some reason, but responding to annodam's post***


LOL annodam - don't hold back, tell us what you *really* think!

Might be dependent on the school/area as to whether most of the same kids stick around from Prep through to Year 12. At the school I attended in a country area, almost all the same people I started school with were still there in Year 12. Probably 80% of them.

DS's school is quite different. He started FYOS school with 45 other kids - at the end of the year eight or nine of them left the school. As a public school in an area where people mostly attend private schools, I expect there'll also be a huge exodus in Year 5, and very few of the kids will attend a public high school.

My son has started HS school with only one friend from his group - we do live in an area with a lot of schools though but all the kids have scattered since they left primary.

Sure parties are great for people that want them but not all parents or even kids do and there are lots of ways to get to know each other.

DH grew up where most kids went to the same HS there were a lot for me too but not as many as him

#45 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:51 PM

my experience is it’s usual to go through primary with pretty much the same cohort (give or take a few) but once high school starts they are all scattered far and wide.

my ds is a February birthday too - early feb, and he hasn’t really settled in to his new class when it’s time to organise his party. last year i thought i’d wait a few weeks/months for him to get to know his class mates - end result being, he didn’t get a party, which he hasn’t let me forget. so he’s having a party this year, with pretty much his cohort from last year - some of whom are in his class this year, but several are not. i don’t think it really matters.

#46 DaLittleEd

Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:52 PM

We were in a similar position OP, with a birthday in the first week of school. We just did a small park party with family and a few outside of school friends, plus just a few kids from school - basically those whose parents I had chatted to at orientation and first day drop off. It was a but random, like hey, I've talked to you twice but please come to the party this weekend, but they came along and seemed to have fun.

We couldn't do a whole class party, DD would have been completely overwhelmed, so this worked well.

#47 annodam

Posted 17 February 2020 - 01:05 PM

View PostAllyK81, on 17 February 2020 - 12:32 PM, said:

Leasing aside that this is an unnecessarily rude and aggressive post in a thread about children's birthday parties, I suspect the attrition rate will be reasonably small where we live. Many of the parents of DS school mates went to the same school and have lived in our area for several generations.




Stop assuming where you'll be in 13yrs time, you cannot predict the future.

#48 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 17 February 2020 - 01:14 PM

I think your husband is right. She's only 5 once! (a big thing where I come from)

My DD birthday is always the second week back after the summer break.

When she started high school, she hadn't made any friends (understandably as only started the week before)

She just chose about 5 girls she had sat with/talked to in that time. A few more that she was friends with in primary school (gone to different high schools) it was a great night, and she's remained friends with most of them (Year 12 now)

It can be a way of making friends, and what have you got to lose?

#49 Islander

Posted 17 February 2020 - 01:39 PM

My then just turned five year old was hopeless at telling me who her friends were after 5 weeks at school, but when we went through the class list and I asked “do you like to play with XYZ?” for each kid she was totally able to tell me if she liked to play with them or if she never played with them. There was a group of about 8 kids she liked so we invited them for a low key park party. Was great for getting to know the kids and parents, and they’re still her friends two years later.

#50 Lifesgood

Posted 17 February 2020 - 02:27 PM

Good grief annodam, you really are being very aggressive and rude for no good reason.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.