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What would your gut reaction be?


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#26 SplashingRainbows

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:03 PM

You’re not paranoid or stereotyping.

document. Report to management in writing and require a response in your letter.

Personally I would request that person never care for my child again and I would remove them instantly if the daycare could not accommodate that request.

#27 Noodlez

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:08 PM

Yep red flag for me too

#28 crankybee

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:31 PM

Even if it was a young woman I wouldn't like it. You trust your gut 10000%!

#29 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:39 PM

You feel he was putting on a show for you - that means you need to say something now, and say it firmly, and make sure the other carers know you don’t want this game played with your daughter and think it inappropriate. It doesn’t matter if it’s totally harmless, it makes you feel not ok and that’s enough to ask for it to stop.

#30 Mollyksy

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:42 PM

If you feel like you would be seen as stereotyping as it's a man tell childcare you have a blanket no tickling rule includes similar behavior like count ribs. I was surprised as googling it recently just how strong and numerous the anti tickling advocates are.

My DS loves me tickling him and initiates it but I'm glad I read the anti material so I could do it better. I mostly eat ok I thought.

I agree, trust your instincts. As a child abuse started with tickling for me. I knew in my gut it wasnt right and lots of people tickled in the 70s! But I could sense the difference. I trust you are picking up on something you cant articulate but appreciate sometimes it's hard to raise it without being labelled as just anti male.

A friend tried to complain about an awful male carer at her daycare (not sexual, but awful discipline, playing favourites). She was shot down with "you wouldn't be say this if it was a female". She was like yes I would! She ended up pulling her kid as he just got more brazen as he was supported.

#31 just roses

Posted 20 February 2020 - 07:52 PM

Ask for the centre’s policy on child protection. Find it how it teaches staff to approach safe contact with children.

#32 Daffy2016

Posted 20 February 2020 - 08:00 PM

Yeah, tickles creep me out.

Regardless of his intentions, he should as a career know better than to do these sorts of games, as others have pointed out.

Even under 1yo my DD’s carers would hold out their hands and offer hugs etc rather than take them.

#33 Anon wife

Posted 20 February 2020 - 08:24 PM

Red flag here too, follow your intuition.

#34 lozoodle

Posted 20 February 2020 - 08:30 PM

Creepy as ****. Who counts ribs anyway?

#35 blueskies12

Posted 20 February 2020 - 08:37 PM

Definitely document it; write down times/events etc and send it to the director. I would ask my child to be removed from this carer too.

#36 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 20 February 2020 - 08:59 PM

Regardless of gender, it's a huge not acceptable to me.

#37 Kreme

Posted 20 February 2020 - 09:36 PM

That’s unnecessary regardless of the gender of the teacher. But I can understand why you feel even more uncomfortable when it’s a male.

My DD had a swimming teacher who was quite a large woman who was excessively handsy with the kids. Always trying to carry them from one place to another in the pool when DD was 5 or 6 and quite capable of walking/swimming there herself. And DD hated it as she likes to have her personal space. So I asked to be moved to another class with a different teacher. I explained our concerns simply but I don’t think the pool cared really.

#38 Tokra

Posted 20 February 2020 - 09:56 PM

I personally wouldn't have an issue with it.

I also finds comments that males shouldn't work in child care centres offensive.

ETA: yes I know I'm probably the only one.

Edited by Tokra, 20 February 2020 - 09:57 PM.


#39 Odd-1-Out

Posted 20 February 2020 - 10:00 PM

I wouldnt like it even if the carer was female.

#40 SplashingRainbows

Posted 21 February 2020 - 06:04 AM

View PostTokra, on 20 February 2020 - 09:56 PM, said:

I personally wouldn't have an issue with it.

I also finds comments that males shouldn't work in child care centres offensive.

ETA: yes I know I'm probably the only one.

My brother works in child care. I’m not against men in child care.

I am against men who play inappropriate games with children in front of the parent to gain ‘permission’ for such close unnecessary touching, grooming said parent and child.

#41 SummerStar

Posted 21 February 2020 - 06:20 AM

View PostTokra, on 20 February 2020 - 09:56 PM, said:



I also finds comments that males shouldn't work in child care centres offensive.


Agree... What a disappointing and outdated attitude. I can't see how it makes a difference what gender the career is, they have the ability to be inappropriate regardless and I think the situation in the OP is inappropriate but doesn't matter if it was male or female that says it..


I know a young man who works in childcare he's great with kids but I know he's subject to alot of this disgusting attitude... It sucks and is really sad and offensive that some people think it's wrong, those same people are probably all for gender equality too except in that's situation, how hypocritical.

#42 born.a.girl

Posted 21 February 2020 - 06:33 AM

View PostTokra, on 20 February 2020 - 09:56 PM, said:

I personally wouldn't have an issue with it.

I also finds comments that males shouldn't work in child care centres offensive.

ETA: yes I know I'm probably the only one.

There is only one. Why not quote them and challenge them?

#43 born.a.girl

Posted 21 February 2020 - 06:38 AM

View PostYetski, on 20 February 2020 - 06:08 PM, said:

It might be a unpopular opinion but I wouldn't be happy with a male working in my child's day care centre, and that type of behaviour would freak me out big time. I'm very paranoid about stuff like this.


What an awful attitude.

With my history I was also extremely careful to watch out for things.

A family member once wanted me to leave my three year old overnight with a couple she knew. There wasn't a snowflake's hope in hell of that happening.

When my daughter was in occasional care, one of the carers was male and he was one of the better ones.

Unfortunately comments from others along the lines of yours meant he didn't feel welcome to stay.

This was well over 20 years ago - I had hoped attitudes would have changed by now.  No wonder so few men want to go into these professions.

#44 SummerStar

Posted 21 February 2020 - 06:44 AM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 21 February 2020 - 06:38 AM, said:




What an awful attitude.

With my history I was also extremely careful to watch out for things.

A family member once wanted me to leave my three year old overnight with a couple she knew. There wasn't a snowflake's hope in hell of that happening.

When my daughter was in occasional care, one of the carers was male and he was one of the better ones.

Unfortunately comments from others along the lines of yours meant he didn't feel welcome to stay.

This was well over 20 years ago - I had hoped attitudes would have changed by now.  No wonder so few men want to go into these professions.

Absolutely. Unfortunately, while better than years ago, there is still people like this who exist to make it difficult for men to be in the industry.

I hope that poster doesn't patent boys, it would be a shame for them to only follow their dream if it is appropriate for their gender.

#45 Crazyone26989

Posted 21 February 2020 - 07:14 AM

View PostYetski, on 20 February 2020 - 06:08 PM, said:

It might be a unpopular opinion but I wouldn't be happy with a male working in my child's day care centre, and that type of behaviour would freak me out big time. I'm very paranoid about stuff like this.

Revolting attitude.

As for the OP, yeah I’d find that uncomfortable regardless of the carers gender/

#46 kimasa

Posted 21 February 2020 - 07:16 AM

There have been some fabulous male educators in my daughter's time in childcare.


Tickle games are inappropriate in a childcare setting full stop, regardless of sex of the educator.

#47 Evra

Posted 21 February 2020 - 07:24 AM

I’d definitely be uncomfortable with the behaviour and take steps to have it stopped. I’m just not sure what would be the right way to address it with the child. Would you tell them the educator had been told to stop tickling them?

#48 K.heather

Posted 21 February 2020 - 07:49 AM

I found that male workers in our child care centre were the best. I find that attitude revolting in 2020. Op go with your instincts, we have them for a reason, it could be something but also could not be.

#49 Hollycoddle

Posted 21 February 2020 - 08:26 AM

View PostYetski, on 20 February 2020 - 06:08 PM, said:

It might be a unpopular opinion but I wouldn't be happy with a male working in my child's day care centre, and that type of behaviour would freak me out big time. I'm very paranoid about stuff like this.

You might find it hard to find a centre that doesn't have male workers these days, it's becoming more and more prevalent.  And there likely have been more recorded instances of female childcare workers abusing kids than male workers.  Yes, that may be because there are more females but it shows that it does happen.

#50 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 21 February 2020 - 08:34 AM

I would find that creepy. One of my children also hated to be tickled but doesn't have the words to be able to explain that, so I would absolutely speak up




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