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Managing a new born when oldest starts school?

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#1 tinkerbell86

Posted 08 March 2020 - 03:54 PM

Hi everyone,
I’m wondering if anyone can share their experience with having a newborn and managing a newborn while having a child starting school??
I’m onto my 4th cycle TTC baby 3. If this cycle is not successful, the next 2 cycles will get me a January and February due date.
I honestly can’t imagine managing a newborn baby and getting my oldest to school and middle child to childcare on my own. I don’t have good family support, my MIL can be a great help but we don’t have a close enough relationship for me to call on her for regular support.
We had always said we would take a break TTC for these months but of course it will break my heart to do so! Aside from the practicalities I also want to be there for my son, and I worry I’ll be so occupied trying to manage 3 kids that it will be a hard adjustment for him at a big time!
Would love to hear any thoughts from those who might have experienced this. Am I right to put of TTC? What was it like?

#2 rosie28

Posted 08 March 2020 - 04:10 PM

Can your partner assist? We have one in FYOS, one in kinder and a three month old. To be honest it’s easy, she’s cruisey and sleeps in the pram for pick up. Drop offs she tends to just be awake which is fine. My DH does drop off sometimes but I do all pick ups.

#3 rosie28

Posted 08 March 2020 - 04:12 PM

DD was born in November- I think a really fresh newborn would be even easier.

#4 MsLaurie

Posted 08 March 2020 - 06:56 PM

Our older daughter started 4yo kinder (3 days a week, 9.15-3.00) when her sister was 3 weeks old. The mornings were mostly fine, but the afternoon pick up was hard in the early days as I was pretty wiped by mid afternoon and couldn’t really get a nap timed right.
Big girl’s behaviour and emotions and exhaustion were probably heightened by being a new big sister, and first term was hard work for everyone. But I honestly don’t think there’s a good time. And a newborn is at least pretty portable, more so than a toddler with opinions!

#5 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:02 PM

my oldest son started school when my youngest son was born..day three! at least i got to see him off for his first day. i think you’ve mentioned three kids...so i only had 2 ....you have the middle child off to day care? that’s good. then you will have those precious 9-3 hours just you and the baby, which is nice. pick middle child up as late as you can would be my tip...if he’s in daycare for a full day...pick him up at 5 - the least amount of time you have with the three of them, the better IMV. as PP said, the mornings will likely be ok...keep it simple, try to have everything ready (uniforms, lunch boxes, notes etc) the night before. 3 pm pick up was hard - it always coincided with the baby’s sleep. not much you can do about it unfortunately.

#6 Questionable13

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:19 PM

I worried about this too when we had #3 but overall it wasn't as bad as I expected. I had a 5 year old at school, a 3 year old attending daycare and a newborn. Unfortunately I have no help so I've just had to manage it. The poor baby gets lugged around a lot but she is ok!

I found a good baby wrap helped a lot. I could pop the baby straight into the carrier and she'd usually stay asleep. An alternative is using a capsule that pops into the pram, and that way if baby is asleep you can just leave baby in the capsule.
My bub has just had to learn to sleep on the run and a newborn is pretty easy to manage compared to an older child to be honest!

#7 frizzle

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:22 PM

I had dd about 4 weeks into my son’s first year of school. We were always on time, it was a wonderful time.  I was around for him while he settled into school and got to be home with dd. One of the loveliest times of my life.  I tried to time her sleeps with school drop off and pick up as best I could. I hired a capsule instead of having a car seat and could take her in and out of the car without waking her for the most part.

eta. I just realised I said how great it was twice. It’s really was a great year.

Edited by frizzle, 08 March 2020 - 07:23 PM.

#8 tinkerbell86

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:29 PM

View Postfrizzle, on 08 March 2020 - 07:22 PM, said:

I had dd about 4 weeks into my son’s first year of school. We were always on time, it was a wonderful time.  I was around for him while he settled into school and got to be home with dd. One of the loveliest times of my life.  I tried to time her sleeps with school drop off and pick up as best I could. I hired a capsule instead of having a car seat and could take her in and out of the car without waking her for the most part.

eta. I just realised I said how great it was twice. It’s really was a great year.

Haha! I noticed that and thought oh wow, that’s really reassuring maybe I will be ok!!

#9 savannah_8

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:33 PM

My son was a few months old when my daughter started prep and it was actually a wonderful time for us, so special for us all, I got a great baby carrier & found the mornings no problem, but the afternoon pickups were hard as I was very tired by then. Can your partner take some time off to support you around school or kinder starting? I had an easy baby to transition into the pram or carrier but a capsule would make school drop off ever easier I think

Edited by savannah_8, 08 March 2020 - 07:34 PM.

#10 tinkerbell86

Posted 08 March 2020 - 07:35 PM

Wow thanks everyone!

I do feel as though when I had my 2nd i wondered how on earth I’d do anything but then found I was much more capable than I realised. I guess this would be the same.

I’m trying to think of the positives..the school is walking distance so I could definitely just pop on the carrier or use the pram, and yes I do have a capsule which is a lifesaver. And it will be in summer so perfect weather to be out and about and not rushing kids in the rain and cold.

What about the lunch boxes and clean uniforms? Was that hard to maintain while in that chaotic, sleep deprived  phase (or was that just me who thinks newborns bring chaos 🙃)

My partner can help out, he’s pretty great however he works early and is home at about 4.30-5 so he would miss the drop off and pick up times. I am however looking into his long service leave as that may be a possibility!

#11 iwanttosleepin

Posted 08 March 2020 - 08:02 PM

I have a gap of 6 years between #2 and #3.  9 years between #1 and #3. ).  Baby was 4 weeks old when the big 2 went back to school.  Born over the summer holiday (not planned, just worked that way).  He’s been dragged around his whole life without a drama.  I did have a capsule for him and a pram that it clicked into.  Other than that nothing special.  It was a half hour drive to school and school started at 7.30! I’ve always pre-prepared lunches and still do today.   My husband was no use as he travelled away during the week.  I was never really sleep deprived with #3 because I didn’t care if he slept in bed with me.  Youngest started school this year!

Edited by iwanttosleepin, 08 March 2020 - 08:04 PM.

#12 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 08 March 2020 - 08:10 PM

I had a newborn, a year 1 and a year 3 early last year.

We use the kiss n drop a lot.

If you make friends with the other parents Im sure one of them would be willing to walk your child to / from the car as the chances are they are going that way anyway.

Babywearing will help a lot as well.

As far as the childcare drop-offs go, Im assuming you wont be needing it for work at the time so you should be able to adjust the times around your baby's sleep a bit.

The worst bit I found really was the 40+ degree days :(

#13 Jingleflea

Posted 08 March 2020 - 08:41 PM

Your partner can make school lunches the night before, and he can make one for you too while he's at it!

Lunch orders if you need, basic ham and cheese rolls, plus some cherry tomatoes, lunch done!

#14 dadwasathome

Posted 08 March 2020 - 08:46 PM

DP was at first day of kindy for DS16 when she met another mom with a 6 week old. DP had fewer issues with DS12 generally, but my experience in his second year was more frustrating than with DS16 in trying to fit naps, and switching from two to one with school pickup times.

DP is still good friends with the other mom.

#15 Lifesgood

Posted 08 March 2020 - 09:31 PM

DS was 6 weeks old when DD started school. It was a juggle but also wonderful. I loved being at home for DDs first whole year of school and DS had to be very portable - there was no other choice. He was the ‘class baby’ and all the kids loved him being around. It was quite special.

#16 JomoMum

Posted 09 March 2020 - 07:44 AM

We just had our second after Xmas and our son has started Grade 1 this year. Hubby was off for the school holidays but went back the week term started.

I was so so anxious about making it work. But it’s been easier than I anticipated. Being the second baby, DS2 was already used to going here there and everywhere.

On the days DH is working, I always do lunch box the night before, uniform laid out. I get up a little earlier so I can shower. Admittedly I only have one other child, and he is 6, so he can make himself cereal for breakfast also which is helpful.

I also drop him off in the kiss and drop of a morning so I don’t have to get us all out of the car and walk in. But we always pick him up at his classroom in the afternoon.

DS2 sleeps well in his capsule and sleeps through all the running and screaming in the playground, it amazes me.

Your toddler may have to do some longer days in the beginning? And could you utilise ASC at school one or two days a week initially so you have some slightly longer days at home? We’ve done this. Means I don’t have to be parked outside the school 30 mins before the bell. It’s that it walk from a km away in 38 degree heat. DS loves it and has made friends with kids from other classes.

#17 BBC

Posted 09 March 2020 - 08:21 AM

If you can, get enough school clothes to last for the week without washing. And lots of hats. Removes one source of stress.

#18 blimkybill

Posted 09 March 2020 - 08:47 AM

Having three young children is a complex juggling act no matter which way you look at it and which month the child is born in. Once you have three, your older two need to get used to less 1:1 attention, and your youngest needs to get flexible around their sleeping.

I gave birth to my third in the second week of school for my eldest. my middle child had one day of childcare at the time. I had little family support.

School dropoffs were fine. I put the bub in a pram of carrier and walked. My third just had to be more flexible about where she slept, but she was fine in a carrier. Everyone at school was of course delighted to see the newborn and my eldest got a kick out of that.

Lack of sleep was hard, definitely harder for me than the first or second. But I just somehow managed with being tired all the time. School lunches did not seem a big deal but the lunches I sent were never gourmet. Sandwich, fruit, muffin - and I would cook muffins when I had time and freeze them.

I guess my advice is that three is going to be complicated no matter which month you give birth, and for longer than the newborn period. School and babies is a pain but you will find a way to manage.

Once I did have a nap though because I was exhausted, and slept through pickup time. The school just kept my DD at the office and were understanding. But only once!

#19 Treasure Island

Posted 09 March 2020 - 08:48 AM

I too had one in prep, kindy and a baby. Lots of people still have babies in the first few years of school. You will manage, I wouldn't put off TTC because of it. If the baby needs feeding or changing as you walk out the door being late isn't the end of the world but really it rarely happens. I've breastfed at school and kindy but really only if there for a long time.

#20 liveworkplay

Posted 09 March 2020 - 09:20 AM

I had a newborn, a child in FYOS and a toddler. It wasn't too hard. I would feed the baby before we left hoe in the mornings if I could. I had all the school stuff sorted the night before. If the baby was due a sleep I put them down in the capsule so I could just transfer them. Slings are your friend and if you BF, don't be afraid to do it in public. Many a day I had to feed at school with the whole FYOS classes asking questions. It is amazing how many kids have not seen a baby BF.

#21 Questionable13

Posted 09 March 2020 - 10:23 AM

Re washing, I found doing a small load of washing daily worked well. My third was a spewy baby so I needed to wash anyway! I'd hang the clothes inside on an airer and that meant my school child always had a uniform clean. Thankfully the uniform doesn't need ironing! I also bought 4 uniforms just to be safe anyway 🤣
I pack lunches the night before while washing up from dinner, or husband can help if you can't manage it.

#22 tinkerbell86

Posted 12 March 2020 - 11:58 AM

So many great tips thanks everyone. I’m definitely opening up to the idea that we can manage it, especially if my husband is home which he would be around the time the baby is born.

Maybe we don’t need a break from TTC like I thought we did!

#23 magalee

Posted 12 March 2020 - 12:14 PM

View Posttinkerbell86, on 12 March 2020 - 11:58 AM, said:

So many great tips thanks everyone. I’m definitely opening up to the idea that we can manage it, especially if my husband is home which he would be around the time the baby is born.

Maybe we don’t need a break from TTC like I thought we did!

Honestly I wouldn't stop TTC just because of that timing.  I agree with everyone else, a newborn is portable and once you get into a routine its very do-able.

We had a surprise bub #2 who was born late December and after I got into the swing of things I relished getting out of the house each day and seeing other people.  I loved my year off and DS #1 enjoyed walking to school most days. He also requested to do after school care on 2 days which helped as I found the afternoons harder particularly as bub gets older and sleep times more set.  3pm pick up was never convenient!

#24 magalee

Posted 12 March 2020 - 12:17 PM

Oh and I did (and still do) everyone's lunches at night and got clothes out ready in case anything went wrong in the morning or I had a rough night!

If you do a load of washing every day or two you can keep on top of school uniforms.  I have 3 sets of school clothes and a sports uniform.

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