Jump to content

Girlfriend visiting


  • Please log in to reply
75 replies to this topic

#1 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:10 AM

I can't work out is it is ok to have a gf regularly visit the house if she is not living here? It is only the one person, staying mainly in the one room . Yes or no?

#2 Froyohoho

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:15 AM

I thought that visiting was a no-no.

#3 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:15 AM

is it the one you don’t like? if so i’d tell her you all have it and have mandated self isolation....



#4 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:21 AM

hmm. That was my plan.Unfortunately wouldn't fly with  son. Nice gf of other son is isolating here with us though so it gets a bit awkward. I was hoping there was some kind of law she was breaking that I could accidentally let the police know about when she was walking  home.

Gosh I sound evil.

I'm not really but there are 7 of us here already every day and adding an eighth of an evening even if she stays away from us seems to be stretching friendships.

#5 Dahlia

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:21 AM

Deleted - just re-read your message.  Thought it was your friend but it sounds like it's not.  I think it is only advice at the moment. Unless we go into lock down, then it is mandated. Ring up the advice hotline and find out perhaps. Maybe your son may accept it more coming from them.

Edited by Dahlia, 31 March 2020 - 07:24 AM.


#6 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:24 AM

Nope.  As per the government instructions, the one person is designed so that essential things (ourdoor exercise for women, dropping off food to a relative) can happen.

In Dan Andrews almost exact words: that doesn't mean you can invite a mate around for a beer.


She fits into the second category.


My daughter's boyfriend half lives here.  I told him he was more than welcome to stay here for the duration (I think we get on better with him than our daughter!), but he has to choose between the granny flat at his parents' place, or our place, he couldn't go backwards and forwards between the two.

They want people, as far as is feasible (excluding essential activity) to stay put, even for exercise, so that they can identify hotspots. That can't happen if enough people are cruising between two locations for non-exercise related leisure.

That's when we'll become 70% rather than 80%.

#7 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:25 AM

I'm doing that with everyone else. This particular person is not amenable to rules. To put it mildly.
I shall speak to my son.Again. Sigh.
Actually, isn't there a thread about positive things from corona. Maybe they will break up. FX

#8 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:30 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 07:21 AM, said:

hmm. That was my plan.Unfortunately wouldn't fly with  son. Nice gf of other son is isolating here with us though so it gets a bit awkward. I was hoping there was some kind of law she was breaking that I could accidentally let the police know about when she was walking  home.

Gosh I sound evil.

I'm not really but there are 7 of us here already every day and adding an eighth of an evening even if she stays away from us seems to be stretching friendships.


People who don't know the history of this relationship may not be much help, as they don't know how impossible it is for you to have a reasonable conversation with either your son or his girlfriend about it.

I don't know about the law, because it's one only one other person outside your normal household, but they've pleaded with us to honour the intent of the regulations and use common sense.

Her going backwards and forwards ignores it all.

I'm really sorry, the history means resolving it is not going to be easy for you.

Edited by born.a.girl, 31 March 2020 - 07:32 AM.


#9 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:37 AM

I'm thinking of suggesting they meet at the park halway between our homes. Seems reasonable to me. Would only be a gathering of 2 . Unsure that will work but otherwise it will be world war 3 and In'm not really up for it after DH got laid off yesterday. This year is all a bit sh*te really.

#10 Hands Up

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:38 AM

Bars on the downstairs windows. Front door locked and your son not to be given a key. Other option is for your son to be told to leave. This ongoing situation is damaging your family. Your younger kids need to be the priority now, for many more reasons than Covid-19.

#11 GlitteryElfFarts

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:39 AM

Just tell them visitors are supposed to be kept to a minimum. So you need her not to come over just in case you need someone to make a delivery or healthcare visit or something.

DH and I both basically woke up this morning, said happy anniversary. Then said virtually the same thing “Yet another anniversary surrounded by drama.”
At least this one can’t be blamed on the kids or their so called friends.

#12 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:43 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 07:37 AM, said:

I'm thinking of suggesting they meet at the park halway between our homes. Seems reasonable to me. Would only be a gathering of 2 . Unsure that will work but otherwise it will be world war 3 and In'm not really up for it after DH got laid off yesterday. This year is all a bit sh*te really.


While that would be legal, it's not in the spirit of the laws. I also suspect they're not going to be staying 2m apart!

There's really very little difference between them being physically close in your son's bedroom (assuming you're never in there) and the park.

The key is if someone in her household develops Covid 19, then she risks transmitting it to your household.

Reverse also applies.  This is exactly what they've been saying.  Don't move between households, unless it comes under 'essential'.

#13 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:45 AM

Re- bars on windows.


Yes well i guess DH can do that now with all his free time :( This really sucks.

DS severely doubts that other teenagers aren't seeing their gfs and bfs and he is probably right. He is also going to work everyday so will be exposed to heaps of people, a bit hard to argue one more is going to hurt.
Just wanted to know if there was a law or fine as that would be something concrete I could use to explain .

#14 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:48 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 07:45 AM, said:

Re- bars on windows.


Yes well i guess DH can do that now with all his free time Posted Image This really sucks.

DS severely doubts that other teenagers aren't seeing their gfs and bfs and he is probably right. He is also going to work everyday so will be exposed to heaps of people, a bit hard to argue one more is going to hurt.
Just wanted to know if there was a law or fine as that would be something concrete I could use to explain .


It's actually  extremely easy to argue.

It's a bit like the physio and masseur comparison.

One is needed, one is optional.

If everybody sticks to the essential only, we will reach the 80% compliance, and flatten the curve.

If only 70% stick to essential only, we won't flatten the curve.

It's really that simply.  Essential contact is going to to take up the 20% - there's no leeway for any optional.

This is the graph:

https://www.abc.net....sponse/12086230

#15 seayork2002

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:50 AM

It is a no, I don't see any grey area it is a out right no

I don't the virus cares about relationship status of whether the virus will infect people or not

Edited by seayork2002, 31 March 2020 - 07:51 AM.


#16 spr_maiden

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:51 AM

Was it only immediate family plus 1 other mentioned in the new level of social distancing yesterday? If you've already got 1 gf there,  that means no more. Though,  you probably have very little chance of that sounding reasonable to them.  
You're really in a rock and a hard place. I'm sorry.

#17 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:56 AM

Yes I know. I pulled my young one out of school early, My oldest is wfh here with us and his gf. Another one is studying online. Only trips are to the supermarket. And now DH will be home too.

As I said  this DS  is in a job that hasnt closed yet so is seeing people. He is asking why seeing her is any different. It's not quite clear. I don't want her here even on a good day but tbh she has been better lately and there have been few dramas so I was sort of going with the "let just pretend she's not here" and we can all have a quiet life. Which was fine before this virus. No there is another reason to keep her away.
As I say I was hoping there was some kind of fine or something - I'm clutching at straws here people - because I don't want her here. Good knnows where she goes during the day.

#18 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 07:58 AM

View Postspr_maiden, on 31 March 2020 - 07:51 AM, said:

Was it only immediate family plus 1 other mentioned in the new level of social distancing yesterday? If you've already got 1 gf there,  that means no more. Though,  you probably have very little chance of that sounding reasonable to them.  
You're really in a rock and a hard place. I'm sorry.


I believe it's 'households', not family members.  i.e. 'Those who normally live in the residence.'.  You have to make allowances for people who house share, people who have boarders, international students (?!?).

As such, we have daughter's bf here for the duration, so he's part of our household.

The one other person was only supposed to be for essentials too, not social.

The instructions are pretty clear: these are the reasons you can leave your house. They don't including visiting your gf.

#19 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:01 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 07:56 AM, said:

Yes I know. I pulled my young one out of school early, My oldest is wfh here with us and his gf. Another one is studying online. Only trips are to the supermarket. And now DH will be home too.

As I said  this DS  is in a job that hasnt closed yet so is seeing people. He is asking why seeing her is any different. It's not quite clear. I don't want her here even on a good day but tbh she has been better lately and there have been few dramas so I was sort of going with the "let just pretend she's not here" and we can all have a quiet life. Which was fine before this virus. No there is another reason to keep her away.
As I say I was hoping there was some kind of fine or something - I'm clutching at straws here people - because I don't want her here. Good knnows where she goes during the day.


It's blindingly clear.

These are the reasons you can leave your house: 1, 2, 3, 4


They do NOT including visiting your girlfriend. Even them meeting in the park is not included.


Look at the graph again.  The difference between 70% and 80% is the reason.

#20 marple

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:06 AM

oh ok.

So park is out - ( though would be ok for exercise?)

And her here is out.

I will talk to him again. Maybe they can go for a walk or something?
What are other peoples teenagers doing? ( this is excluding the fact that she is crazy).

#21 born.a.girl

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:18 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 08:06 AM, said:

oh ok.

So park is out - ( though would be ok for exercise?)

And her here is out.

I will talk to him again. Maybe they can go for a walk or something?
What are other peoples teenagers doing? ( this is excluding the fact that she is crazy).


Park is o.k. for exercise but they must stay 2m apart.

#22 can'tstayaway

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:29 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 08:06 AM, said:

What are other peoples teenagers doing? ( this is excluding the fact that she is crazy).
Listening to friends, other teens with partners are going stir crazy and mopey. Glued to what communications they do have on their phones.

The difference at work is that they should be practicing social distancing and good hygiene. I doubt that while the GF visiting they are staying 1.5m apart.

What state are you in?

Here’s a link to the Qld govt site

https://www.health.q...ection/_nocache

I don’t think the GF fits any of those dot point criteria for leaving her house. In Qld you can be fined $1334 for breaking the rules.

Edited by can'tstayaway, 31 March 2020 - 08:38 AM.


#23 Ozquoll

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:32 AM

I had a feeling this would be a Marple thread 🤔😆

Re the crazy gf - no, she should be staying at her house and not coming to yours, but good luck enforcing that!

Re your DH being laid off - I'm sorry, that really sucks 😞.

#24 overlytired

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:54 AM

View Postmarple, on 31 March 2020 - 08:06 AM, said:

oh ok.

So park is out - ( though would be ok for exercise?)

And her here is out.

I will talk to him again. Maybe they can go for a walk or something?
What are other peoples teenagers doing? ( this is excluding the fact that she is crazy).

All my kids, including the 2 studying away, are all home (17y to 23y) and the one in a relationship is video chatting with the SO. They are all also video chatting with their friends.

#25 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 31 March 2020 - 08:59 AM

Your house = your rules.  Plus there is supposed to be no social visiting of anyone to my understanding.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.