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Is covid triggering your grief?

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#1 Yippee-Ki-Yay

Posted 31 March 2020 - 02:53 PM

It is for me. I wondered if I was alone in this. I guess because it is such an important current event, I keep going to call mum to see how she is doing, or thinking about how my husband would have dealt with all of this. I had a few weeks recently where I hadnt had nightmares about anyone I had lost. This was despite losing my grandmother during this time. Pretty much the first solid block without nightmares in over 10 years. They are back. I am waking myself out of horrible dreams struggling t breathe through the tears.  I have that horrible pit in my stomach again and the isolation is making me feel more alone.

I figured if I was feeling this way, maybe others were too and could a place to voice some thoughts.

#2 rowd

Posted 31 March 2020 - 03:07 PM

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can imagine it would feel incredibly lonely not having your mum and husband to share this scary time with. I know that familiar pit in your stomach feeling so well.

You're not alone, I have been struggling with the same feelings. After my daughter died 2 years ago, I felt like I had recently reached a place where I felt a lot of stability and hope for my little family's future. The pandemic is now making me panic in a huge way over the health of my family, and is taking me back to the overwhelming fear and confusion I felt during my daughter's life, and then the dark hopeless feelings I felt when she died. It's really complicated and painful. I see a lot of people posting that for them, the pandemic pales in comparison to their grief, but for me, they are both exacerbating each other.

Thanks for the thread and I hope we can all find some support here.

#3 wallofdodo

Posted 31 March 2020 - 03:10 PM

I don't know if it has triggered my grief, but I am certainly thinking of my father more, wondering how he would have handled himself during this time. He could have gone either way, fully compliant or willfully recalcitrant.

I am sorry for both of your loss and how this time is affecting you

#4 Yippee-Ki-Yay

Posted 31 March 2020 - 03:12 PM

Feels wrong to like your post, but it was more of an "I hear you" like. Im so sorry for your loss. I agree that I think both aspects are making the other a bit worse.

Im so sorry for how this must make you feel.

Like you say, I hope we can support eachother and voice thoughts that not everyone can understand.

#5 MooGuru

Posted 31 March 2020 - 03:21 PM

It has triggered something but I'm not sure whether it's grief or not. It's almost obsessive levels of imagining what it would be like trying to do the hospital and life in this environment and feeling terror at the thought of it even though it could never happen.
I'm also finding the sheer volume of posts about how crappy it is being a parent at the moment hard. I mean I get it would be tough but I need to walk away from that for my own well being.

Thanks for starting this. I'm sorry for everyone else struggling.

#6 turbulent

Posted 31 March 2020 - 03:34 PM

Yes, I keep seeing or hearing the word ventilator and I have flash backs to my fathers passing, the images of hospitals trigger me, everything keeps flooding back.

I’m actually really grateful to your post even though I’m sorry to hear about other people feeling like this.

#7 got my tinsel on

Posted 31 March 2020 - 04:16 PM

I so remember that time after my mother's death of 'forgetting' and thinking 'I'll have to tell Mum this' then realising I couldn't any more.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing more grief now, YKY.  It must be even more difficult because of the crisis we find ourselves in.

Strangely, DH and I were talking the other night about our all now deceased parents and concluded that we are somewhat relieved that they are not here to witness and experience what is happening.  They would have been so very fearful (not for themselves but for children and grandchildren) and we would have hated for them to feel so frightened and powerless.

#8 Yippee-Ki-Yay

Posted 02 April 2020 - 10:55 AM

Checking in with everyone.

I hope you are all going ok.

I am finding it difficult to keep my mind from death, funerals, grief, etc etc. So much in the news with figures that can be overwhelming. Thousands of deaths. Thousands of families going through significant grief. Knowing how much more of that is going on around the world while I go about my day is hard to ignore.

Its weird and hard. I feel like I am waiting for it to hit someone I love. Very much in a state of hypervigilance.

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