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DH wants a dog

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#1 sne

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:05 PM

And I am not convinced it's a good idea.

He wants a big dog - he keeps sending me links to German shepherds and staffy  cross type dogs.

He is known for being really enthusiastic about things, then loosing steam quickly.

I've never owned a dog and have no idea how to train or anything one. DH's family owned one when he was a teen. It was a wild, undisciplined creature that was basically left to it's own devices in the backyard all day.

I don't particularly like dogs. I'm the one who is home fulltime and know that once the gloss wears off I'd be the one doing everything with it.

We have 2 kids with autism.  They are both very loud during meltdowns. One in particular can be physically aggressive. They also need to play outside daily. The dog poo would need picking up daily.

Our ds was bitten on the face by DH's aunts dog when he was 2. He's wary of dogs.

We have a neurotic indoor only cat.

We are a single income family. DH reckons it would cost $50 per month to feed a large dog. I think he's dreaming. What other costs would be involved?

Kids flip between being enthusiastic about the idea of a dog and neutral.  I might consider a trained therapy/companion dog, but they are way out of our price range.  I feel mean continually shooting him down.

#2 Dianalynch

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:07 PM

i'd tell your dh it's him or the dog, but you couldn't possibly care for both. His choice.

#3 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:08 PM

OMG, that is all kinds of NO NO NO NO!

#4 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:13 PM

Do not get a dog!!  Everything you predict will happen, will happen.

Can you perhaps get a guinea pig?  As a practice animal?  they obviously need care, but if its left up to you, at least you know it will be for a short period of time, they only live for about 5 years.
Or a cat?  Cats require less care than a dog.

Do not get a dog.

#5 Trevor Trove

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:17 PM

No way!

#6 sne

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:24 PM

We have a cat. He's my cat. I've owned cats most of my life and have no problem dealing with his litter trays etc. DH doesn't seem to understand why I would object to picking up dog poo since I clean the litter trays.

#7 sne

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:25 PM

Or we could just leave it and mow over it when it's dry as his grandfather recommended.  🤢

#8 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:40 PM

Your DH is being a selfish t*at. I'm sorry, I got nuffin.

#9 Ozquoll

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:40 PM

View Postsne, on 04 April 2020 - 05:25 PM, said:

Or we could just leave it and mow over it when it's dry as his grandfather recommended.  🤢
I used to have a neighbour who did that. It wasn't always dry either 🤢. What a stench!!

#10 Anon wife

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:45 PM

Not a chance sorry

#11 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:49 PM

German Shepherds are known for hip issues. My cousin spent a lot on money for surgery on his pup. The dog is now 10 and has to be lifted into the truck, cannot walk far etc. My cousin realises his dog is coming to the end of his life. Big dogs don't live as long as small dogs. My cousin is not going to replace the dog after he passes.

#12 Holidayromp

Posted 04 April 2020 - 05:51 PM

It has disaster written all over it.

Be aware that as the one that it at home full time all care will fall to you and when the shine well and truly wears off the one that has to deal with the ramifications of having a bored, unwanted pet.

You already have your hands full and to get a dog will further add to your work load. They need regular exercise not to mention obedience classes.

Care for an animal goes well beyond feeding.  Dogs are very expensive when it comes to vet care both with routine check ups and vaccinations and accident and illness.

Dogs are a tie as it isn’t easy just to up and go away.  They are pack animals and don’t do well with being on their own for extended periods of time.  So they need to be cared for and putting them in kennels is costly.

The list goes on.

Getting any sort of pet requires EVERYONE to agree to as resentment soon builds if people are not on board.

Strangely enough it is often the ones that assume the majority of responsibilities of the household are the ones that are the first to veto any idea that will only add to their workload.

Put your foot down and refuse to entertain any thoughts of the idea.

#13 Romeo Void

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:01 PM

No.  No no no no no! Is he the sort to come home with a dog without checking with you first?

#14 hills mum bec

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:05 PM

Please don’t get a dog.

It will cost way more than $50 a month to feed a large dog.  We have a white Swiss shepherd and a shepherd x kelpie and would probably spend about $250-$300 permonth for the two of them.  That covers pet mince and a good quality dry food.  On top of that you have vet costs (annual immunization, desexing), working tablets, flea treatment if needed.  Factor in costs for kennels or pet minding if you go on holiday.

#15 MooGuru

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:07 PM

Yeah, it's a no from me.  All your fears will come true.

The only thing I'd possibly consider is if you talked to some breeders/rescues re the possibility of a dog that has therapy dog like qualities and training it to a high standard. A family member has autistic children,  one terrified of dogs - like screaming in fear and running onto the road to avoid one 100m away level fear.
They spoke to a breeder they knew, about two or three years down the track the breeder rang them to say she had a puppy she thought would be a perfect match. Calm, lazy and very placid.
They took him with a plan in place that the breeder would take him back at any time if there were any problems.
It's worked out brilliantly for everyone. But the DH who wanted the dog is also taking care of things like picking up dog poo.

#16 sne

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:08 PM

View PostRomeo Void, on 04 April 2020 - 06:01 PM, said:

No.  No no no no no! Is he the sort to come home with a dog without checking with you first?

No, I don't think so otherwise he'd have brought one home years ago. This isn't a new situation,  he's wanted one for at least 8 years. He's just amped up the pressure recently. He says it would help him get fit having to walk it.

#17 Ozquoll

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:12 PM

For some people this is a hard decision and lots of weighing up the pros and cons, but from what you've said I can't see a single reason why you WOULD want a dog 😧.

It really sounds like your DH is totally clueless about the costs and responsibilities of owning a dog. Fifty bucks a month to feed a shepherd - not likely! And what happens when you get a huge vet bill and have to choose between paying it, or paying for therapy for your sons? Or paying the rent?

#18 Ellie bean

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:19 PM

And I’m a huge dog lover.
In those circumstances, noooo way. Your DH is totally clueless.

#19 Rummonkey

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:30 PM

We spend $100 a month on dry food for a large dog. Then there’s the cost of pet insurance, flea treatments, additional meds for ailments (another $80-90 each month), annual vaccinations/heart worm treatment. Bedding, collars, leads. Treats, toys. It adds up. Haven’t even got to what you do if you go away (check out the price of a kennel!). They’re a lot of work (which I adore as I love dogs). But I do the bulk of the looking after as I wanted them.

#20 Isolated Old Elf

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:31 PM

Please don’t do it. Dogs are expensive and a huge amount of time and effort if you want a happy friendly dog. Aside from food (and no way will it cost $50 /mo- cheap food = more required and more poo anyway) there is vet care, vaccinations, worming, flea treatment, grooming, treats etc. pet sitters/kennels do not come cheaply, and are not always available. Honestly, with two kids dogs are hard work. It would be harder with two kids who have additional needs and appointments. It will all fall to you I have no doubt.
If your husband wants to get fit, tell him to get a personal trainer. Cheaper and less of a commitment. You can even do it online.

And now is a NOT the time. You can’t do the needed socialisation, you cannot easily  see a vet, you can’t do training with an instructor. Shelters will be inundated when everyone returns to work and the dogs become redundant.  Dogs are a family member, not an accessory. Your husband is being selfish and short sighted.

#21 SeaPrincess

Posted 04 April 2020 - 06:40 PM

We got a dog when I was prepared to look after it. Part of the reason why I was keen was that DH was going to be working away a lot, and I have no regrets. When he’s home, he pitches in with everything.

OP, in the situation you’ve described, I’d be saying no.

#22 Araucaria

Posted 04 April 2020 - 07:05 PM

Absolutely not.  This has disaster written all over it.

#23 jayskette

Posted 04 April 2020 - 07:21 PM

get an autism support dog. the wait involved means more diligent research and thinking time.

#24 Cheesy Sanga

Posted 04 April 2020 - 08:03 PM

View Postsne, on 04 April 2020 - 06:08 PM, said:

He says it would help him get fit having to walk it.

Ha ha ha nope. My partner also said this. Guess who walks the dog?

#25 elly35

Posted 04 April 2020 - 08:08 PM

We just decided we want a dog. It turns out dogs are very sought after at the moment so it may be too hard for your husband to find one at the moment. Dogs are A LOT of work.

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