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How are your young adults coping?

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#1 goldilachs

Posted 05 April 2020 - 01:07 PM

Hi all,

Just wondering how your young adult children are coping with the current conditions?

My daughter is 19 and in second year at Uni.  She has been stood down from her job and had to cancel her amazing Contiki trip around Europe this summer.  Hopefully she will get her money back. She doesn’t qualify for Austudy, Jobseeker or Jobkeeper.  I know these are only small things in the grand scheme of it but to her they are huge.  She’s not coping well not going out.  Thankfully uni is going well online but now she’s about to start a 3 week break which is going to mean less direction in her days.

The biggest thing is seeing her boyfriend.  They have been together for a year and I’m just not sure what to do.  She wants him to keep coming over.  In WA we have a one visitor rule but there’s 6 of us in the house and she just doesn’t understand the risk.  According to her of course he doesn’t have it etc etc she’s a smart girl, but it’s like she’s refusing to acknowledge the basics.  At the same time I don’t want her packing her bags and going to his place.

Is anyone else going through similar?

#2 MarciaB

Posted 05 April 2020 - 01:46 PM

I also have a 19 yo she has been very positive but it isn’t easy for her. She loved her part time jobs, her uni classes and sport team and those things are all gone ( Uni is now online so study is continuing).

At first I said no to boyfriend visiting but I have relaxed that rule this weekend - she didn’t ask us to - it came up as she was mentioning that several of her 18-20 yo friends had moved in with boyfriend/girlfriends due to the social distancing rules. Personally I think that is a disaster for these kids in fairly new relationships and dd agreed.

So I suggested that her bf come for dinner last night. He came over in the afternoon, they went for a walk had dinner here - watched a movie then went home. We agreed he could come over once a week - 10 days ( or dd to his house) while the “rules” allowed and nothing changed.

I know his family, like ours, are predominantly staying at home ( except for groceries etc - all are working/studying from home). Of course lots of hand washing occurred - can’t vouch for the 1.5 metre for those two, but the rest of us kept our distance.

It is a risk - but it is “allowed” and to be honest if we are in for the long haul I don’t want to clamp down on what is “allowable” just yet.

As an observation however, all the teens/young adults I know are being very responsible - unlike some 40-50 yos around here that seem to be “bending” rules by chatting in front of coffee shops and lingering at supermarkets all over the place.

Edited by MarciaB, 05 April 2020 - 02:56 PM.

#3 maurie

Posted 05 April 2020 - 01:57 PM

I have a 19 yo too, she doesn't have a boyfriend so we don't have that issue, but she is missing her friends and their brunch dates.   She is still doing minimal retail shifts,her uni is online and she's loving that more than going to the campus.  

She's doing way better than I think I would've in her shoes.

#4 Peninsula Girl 74

Posted 05 April 2020 - 02:38 PM

My DD18 has returned early from her backpacking trip around Europe and has no job and is also not eligible for any government payments.  University should be starting in July if they keep to schedule.

She had 14 days self isolation and spent time doing drawing, art, Netflix, reading and chatting to friends.

Both DP and I have worked from home for the last two weeks so at least she has had some company.

We are all at home now and in the same boat so she is pretty accepting of the situation.  Al least she can go to the shops now for food.

If she could get a job that would be fantastic but pretty slim.

#5 blimkybill

Posted 05 April 2020 - 02:54 PM

I have three young adults.
One lives with 2 flat mates in another city, her partner also lives in my city so she is seeing no family and no partner. It’s hard on her but her household is very responsible and resourceful. She also has very secure and valued work so that keeps her going.

My other 2 live with their boyfriends in my city. I still allow them to visit me at home, not very often, one at a time, and we keep distance. This is allowed here. But while the rules allow I want to keep seeing them. Again, both are extremely responsible. These two are both waiting to hear from Centrelink, one has lost all her work, the other is precarious. I am propping one up financially.

Both are in reasonable spirits but of course feeling ups and downs as do I. A bit sad about missing out on a good uni experience. Both will have graduation delayed due to not being able to complete practical courses. One is due to graduate mid year and that will be put off till end of year at least, which is a shame for her.

#6 hills mum bec

Posted 05 April 2020 - 02:59 PM

We have an almost 19yo and he’s not handling it very well.  Like OP, he has lost his job and can’t get any jobseeker, jobkeeper or youth allowance.  DH has also lost his job and it looks like my hours will be reduced so we are not in a great position to be giving him any spending money when we are already having to cover his car & phone expenses.  He is helpful during the day, helping DD8 with her school work but he is quite angry about everything.  He feels like at his age he should be out at parties and pubs and he has had quite a few friends have to cancel their 18th birthday parties.  I’m not letting any of his friends come over but I can’t stop him from going out and a few times a week he will go and spend the night with friends that have recently moved into their first house together.  In SA they are not enforcing the 2 people gathering rule and it’s still gatherings under 10 people are OK so long as you keep social distance.

#7 Sandra

Posted 05 April 2020 - 03:01 PM

My youngest still doing uni online and still working, it is more the work at supermarket that is difficult.
She is otherwise coping with no issues, and is really. Usy between uni assignments and classes and her 4 days of work.


Posted 05 April 2020 - 03:01 PM

DD18 is second year at Uni, so busy with that online. Her boyfriend is also at Uni (different one/much harder course) so both are head down, bum up getting through that as normal. Apart from those two things, DD is pretty much a home body, so she's coping really well. No job anyway.

DD17 has been in hospital for the past month, good time to be in there as no one is out having any fun!

Edited by ~THE~MAGICIAN~, 05 April 2020 - 03:03 PM.

#9 jojonbeanie

Posted 05 April 2020 - 03:14 PM

My 19 year old former foster-daughter is working full time in childcare. She says the extra cleaning is exhausting. At night she goes home to look after her younger siblings, including a toddler, and her completely unstable mother. Last week her mother overdosed on the kitchen floor and needed a full resuscitation. This weekend I had to call the police as she had gone crazy and had the kids barricading themself in a bedroom. Worrying about the internet speed or missing out on dates doesn’t even register as a problem. She’s too busy trying to keep everyone in the household alive, literally.

No, the Police and CPS are not doing anything to alleviate the issue.

Edited by jojonbeanie, 05 April 2020 - 03:23 PM.

#10 Anonforthistime

Posted 05 April 2020 - 03:32 PM

I’ve got a couple of young adults and a teen.

The eldest is doing a masters which is now online, as  well as working 2 part time jobs. One she has been able to continue from home, but the other is front line health care and so she is very much working. She is coping ok, but as her masters is in public health, a lot of her subject matter has real and immediate meaning. She has a boyfriend who she has been with for over 4 years and they were planning on moving out soon. He has been coming over but they are are confining themselves in her room or going for a run together. I miss him - even though he’s in the house he is staying away from everyone else and just calling out his hello/goodbye.

The next one is also doing his uni online, but works in a supermarket. He is probably handling it the worst as customers have been pretty awful the last few weeks. He currently  has no social life outside of the online world, but has a poor immune system and so is my biggest worry. He is hand sanitising as much as possible. No partner at the moment, which is good.

They are both feeling that their studies will be impacted by the online delivery and just not having the cohort to bounce ideas off, learn from etc.

(The 16yo, though not a young adult, has embraced the pj day concept, through he does have a part time job delivering for the local pharmacy. Which means he is at risk too.)

The eldest said the other day that she feels very old. ( She’s only 23!) and that it will be the kind of thing she will tell her grandchildren about, in the same way her grandparents talk about WW2

#11 wilding

Posted 05 April 2020 - 04:02 PM

My 18 year olds handling it rather well. He's still job hunting and all that. But he's a homebody that spends his time online.

#12 BadCat

Posted 05 April 2020 - 04:24 PM


Edited by BadCat, 11 May 2020 - 09:05 PM.

#13 Mumsyto2

Posted 05 April 2020 - 04:26 PM

Mine are doing pretty well. In fact busier now than before!

Uni work ongoing, online, but due to break. They have been busy hitting the shops each day to shop for the elderly as it seems most have had no luck getting whatever they need with online shopping. At our church the young adults and older teens are responsible for shopping for the elderly so they get lists online, put it all together to ensure that everyone gets enough with limits imposed - for example if one list has 4x tins tomatoes and another has none then they need 2 people minimum collecting the tomatoes. Then after shopping they divvy up according to individual lists and drop on front porches, knock and run. So they maintain social connections there.

One is overrun with offers of work babysitting for children of healthcare professionals so they can keep working, if they could clone themselves and charged they could be making thousands as the work is there 24/7. They will charge half rate in school holidays as people would have engaged them anyway generally and are doing it for free outside of this. They consider it doing their part in this.

Another has lost their casual job and is not keen on babysitting younger kids but is open to supervising homeschooling for older kids for healthcare professionals kids next term, again lots of work going there! Just a shame healthcare professionals are copping a double whammy, working frontline in this and having to pay for people to come help with kids homeschooling while they are at work (schools may be open for them but only supervision no actual help when needed with any of the work apparently), but it is what it is. Given this, that one will probably just donate the service or maybe a nominal fee to cover fuel.

To be honest, they are eager for this to be over to get a rest :)

#14 laurs

Posted 05 April 2020 - 04:28 PM

My 19yo DD is still working her Woolies shifts and doing uni online. She is really missing her BF but the rules don't really allow them to catch up FTF. She has also just met a someone online and they are getting on really well. She'd love to meet up with him in person but she does understand that it really isn't on at the moment.

#15 kadoodle

Posted 05 April 2020 - 09:30 PM

My 18yo DD1 is pretty happy to self isolate in her bedroom with her pile of books and her cat. She’s cranky about her yr 12 being disrupted , but plans on applying to the armed forces to become a pilot rather than get there through uni if things drag on.

#16 JustBeige

Posted 05 April 2020 - 09:58 PM

Both mine are doing pretty well. They are generally homebodies anyway and tend to catch up more on line with their friends, especially now we moved further away.

DD is still working - she is a cleaner in a food manufacturer, so they had the hygiene thing down anyway and have ramped that up apparently.

DS is missing his 'gatho's' but his friends that had apprenticeships got laid off, so while he is sad that that happened to them he is pretty happy to be speaking to them more.

Im not pushing either of them to increase their hours or find a job. tbh, the people who are trying desperately to support a family need it more than my two young adults.

Now that I am working from home, we just tend to hang out more

#17 born.a.girl

Posted 06 April 2020 - 04:33 PM

I feel so sorry for the 17 - 22 age group.

Obviously this is a nightmare beyond anyone's imagination, and every age group is impacted, some more than others.

There are so many rites of passage in that period though - year 12, first year of uni, finishing uni, not to mention the 18th & 21sts.

The two here are 28, so were able to enjoy all of those things.  Mostly for their age group it's weddings called off, which is obviously very upsetting, but is at least something that's not dependent on being a certain age.  If they're desperately keen, they can still get married, too.

There are going to be an awful lot of parties to celebrate missed milestones when this is over.

#18 Expelliarmus

Posted 06 April 2020 - 04:37 PM

It hasn’t affected DD18 at all. She never leaves her room anyway.

DD19 it’s been a tough road since she is usually out and about all the time. She quit her job right before C19 hit so she has no work plus dancing cancelled, clubs, bars, movies, concerts, football allllll gone. Her boyfriend is our one guest and she’s the one guest at his. Lucky the rest of us have no friends anyway ...

DS16 still has his job and it’s probably a good thing his going out has been curtailed!

#19 Nasty Teens

Posted 06 April 2020 - 04:46 PM

DD20 rushed home early from studying abroad and went straight into self isolation which she has now finished. DS18 has returned home from uni as it is now all online. DS21 is studying on line and still getting a few shifts at work each week.


Posted 06 April 2020 - 05:56 PM

View Postkadoodle, on 05 April 2020 - 09:30 PM, said:

My 18yo DD1 is pretty happy to self isolate in her bedroom with her pile of books and her cat. She’s cranky about her yr 12 being disrupted , but plans on applying to the armed forces to become a pilot rather than get there through uni if things drag on.

Not sure what state you are in, but is that correct - your DD is 18 and in Yr 12?
Sounds like my 18 yr old (2nd year Uni) a pile of books and her cat!

#21 annodam

Posted 06 April 2020 - 06:07 PM

DD 19 in July is just doing online Uni lectures & submitting assignments.
She's coping well so far.
No boyfriend, she just chats to mates on SM.

ETA:  No job either.

Edited by annodam, 06 April 2020 - 06:08 PM.

#22 kadoodle

Posted 06 April 2020 - 09:11 PM

View Post~THE~MAGICIAN~, on 06 April 2020 - 05:56 PM, said:

Not sure what state you are in, but is that correct - your DD is 18 and in Yr 12?
Sounds like my 18 yr old (2nd year Uni) a pile of books and her cat!

Yes. We moved from Wales when she was FYOS and she repeated. She should have finished Ye 12 last year.

#23 Morethanmum

Posted 06 April 2020 - 09:45 PM

My DD is 20, final year nursing student so they are trying to do as much uni as they can online but clinical placements have been cancelled - so not sure what that means in terms of graduating at the end of the year.  She also works frontline in a hospital as an assistant nurse so is getting plenty of shifts at the moment.

She misses her friends and her boyfriend, but is keeping her distance given she could well be exposed to the virus given her job.

It is tough times for all.

#24 hills mum bec

Posted 07 April 2020 - 10:33 AM

View Post~THE~MAGICIAN~, on 06 April 2020 - 05:56 PM, said:

Not sure what state you are in, but is that correct - your DD is 18 and in Yr 12?
Sounds like my 18 yr old (2nd year Uni) a pile of books and her cat!

In SA most kids will turn 18 during year 12.

#25 Bethlehem Babe

Posted 07 April 2020 - 11:44 AM

View Posthills mum bec, on 07 April 2020 - 10:33 AM, said:

In SA most kids will turn 18 during year 12.

And in NSW and Vic and Tassie and I think WA.

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