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How to tell 2.5yo about new baby?

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#1 Daffy2016

Posted 28 April 2020 - 09:53 AM

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant with number 2, and - all things going to plan - we will tell our 2.5 yo DD at 12 weeks.

Does anyone have any tips to make this exciting and fun rather than confusing and scary? DD is very possessive of me and has been very adamant she doesn’t want a baby brother or sister when casually asked. I’m worried this is not going to go well, although I realise it will be a process that goes for the rest of the pregnancy (and her life, probably!).

#2 Riotproof

Posted 28 April 2020 - 10:11 AM

I wouldn’t worry about tellling her so early, tbh.

#3 Starflash

Posted 28 April 2020 - 11:01 AM

DS1 was 2.75 when DS2 was born. I never really told him, I suppose he worked it out gradually from overhearing, and enjoyed going to the clinic a few times to hear the Doppler by the end.

#4 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 April 2020 - 11:05 AM

I didn't tell DD about it in any way - she just 'got it' along the way - she was a bit younger though.

I wouldnt say anything so early either  - 8 months is a very long time to wait if they are excited, and even longer if they are not happy about it.

I would wait as long as possible, personally.

#5 Fluffy Potatoes

Posted 28 April 2020 - 11:57 AM

We told Ds1 when I was around 26wks, he was 6. We’d had a few scares (lost a twin and had a placental abruption) and weren’t entirely sure if there was going to be a baby coming home. It was a more real concept as he could feel baby move and when we pointed it out, could see my tummy was rounder as well. He only had to wait another 9wks as ds2 was prem, but it was still a long time waiting for him.

I would just have an ongoing conversation about how awesome having a sibling would be and that maybe one day she might get to be a big sister and won’t that be exciting.

#6 Kallie88

Posted 28 April 2020 - 12:25 PM

I dunno, we only held off with our 4yo (with #4) until 12 weeks, and that was because she'd tell everyone lol. Other than that it's not been a big deal, just something I'll mention because it's on my mind. Currently our 2.5yo doesn't really care, and the 18mo is even more oblivious of course. But we talk about the baby (I'm 23w now for extra context). 4yo is very excited, but she's been through it a few times and always loved her siblings the instant she saw them. With our 2nd though she was 20mo so pretty oblivious until he arrived. I would probably just keep it casual and matter of fact, if you make a big deal if it she'll probably worry more because it's a big deal, if it's just what's happening and we're happy she'll probably be able to accept that and see that it's a normal part of life. You know her best though. Kids say funny things coz they don't really know though, when I was pregnant with my 3rd my then nearly 3yo dd was convinced it was going to be a girl and wouldn't even consider it would be a boy. Of course he was born and she didn't even care that he wasn't a girl, she loved him completely anyway. So I wouldn't take a 2.5yos opinion as necessarily how they'll feel either. She's used to being you and her, she didn't know what the alternative looks like, it'll take time to adjust but it doesn't mean she won't love being a big sister xx

#7 dreamweaver80

Posted 28 April 2020 - 12:56 PM

Maybe wait for awhile and get your daughter used to the idea of a sibling, perhaps with a doll or reading her books about siblings. I'd be really surprised if she put two and two together that her mum's growing belly meant a baby.  I mean, my son is 26 months and his brother is already here (6 months old) and he still has no concept of what a brother or sibling is. He barely registers the baby is in the same room most of the time, unless he's crying! I do acknowledge that girls are usually a lot more emotionally advanced at this age but I still think you can probably get away with keeping it a secret for awhile longer. I think it would be easier to explain the impending arrival of a baby to a toddler if they can see the physical manifestation (bump) and get to feel when baby starts moving. Her comprehension will only improve the older she is and the news might be received better.

#8 Tiara15

Posted 28 April 2020 - 01:03 PM

When you are ready to spill the beans, there's a cute song on you tube called "Mummy's got a baby in her belly" which has an easy to remember tune. I caught my daughter watching it a few times and the song has stuck in my head. The one she watched was by bounce patrol but there's heaps of different versions.

#9 Lou-bags

Posted 28 April 2020 - 01:28 PM

We told DS1 straight away (I wasn’t even 4weeks yet) but he was 2yrs4mo and had been telling everyone I was pregnant for a while so I knew no one would believe him if he spilled the beans. Oddly enough he didn’t tell anyone.

But he was excited by the idea, he adores babies, so a bit different to your situation. We also had a book to read with him, and talked about how boring newborns are and how they can’t do much. And how I would still be there for him. I also made sure I never corrected him if he did express any negative feelings (like when I was not able to do certain things before or after the baby)- I just let him vent. I think it’s important that they know their feelings are ok and allowed, even if they are uncomfortable to hear.

And after DS2 was born I made sure to do things with DS1 only when I could- and made a big fuss of telling DS2 he couldn’t come. Like ‘ok we’re going to the shop now for a babychino, and you will stay here with Daddy, this is DS1 and Mummy time now, we’ll see you soon’.

Or if DS2 was fussing but I was helping DS1 with something I’d say something like ‘I can hear you calling me, but you’ll need to wait a minute because DS1 needs me right now’. I think it helped, I don’t know.

Congrats and good luck!

#10 Zippypeaks

Posted 28 April 2020 - 02:14 PM

We waited until my bump was pretty visible to tell DS who was about 2. I bought him some toy dolls to play with, read some books, and just answered any questions as they came up.

Also, the Teeny Tiny Stevies do a great little song "There's a Baby in Mums Tummy".

Edited by Zippypeaks, 28 April 2020 - 02:22 PM.

#11 Luci

Posted 28 April 2020 - 05:20 PM

 Ruf~Feral~es, on 28 April 2020 - 11:05 AM, said:

I didn't tell DD about it in any way - she just 'got it' along the way - she was a bit younger though.

I wouldnt say anything so early either  - 8 months is a very long time to wait if they are excited, and even longer if they are not happy about it.

I would wait as long as possible, personally.

I did this as well. So I didn't really make a proper announcement, just let the idea sink in gradually.

#12 Murderino

Posted 28 April 2020 - 08:16 PM

DD was 2yo when DS was born and I think we told her when we told family so about 14 weeks, so she was almost 18mo.

I bought a book called “There’s a house inside my mummy” and we read that and just talked about the baby growing. She made me read that thing almost every day!

My DD was very excited to have a sibling though, I’m not sure how it would have gone in your situation.

I think like a PP suggested you could just talk about how good siblings are. DD loved a book called “Za-Za’s baby brother” which might be a way to build that idea?

#13 Kallie88

Posted 28 April 2020 - 10:13 PM

In terms of books, 'troubletops and the new baby' is really cute, and gives validity to feeling left out when a new baby comes while showing of course mummy and daddy still love you just as much.
'That's when I knew', is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful art, nice simple language and again, shows that special bond siblings have

#14 WaitForMe

Posted 28 April 2020 - 10:34 PM

We purposely didn't make it into a big deal at first, it was just a normal part of our life. Along the way we started getting some picture books on it from the library.

She was pretty happy about the whole thing although I suspect there were some underlying fears as she developed an imaginary pet dog that was the most awesome of dogs ever (and the complete opposite to our real dog!).

#15 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 29 April 2020 - 12:01 AM

DD was a bit older, she was 3.5yo when DS arrived. But she was adamant that she wanted a sister, so we told her with plenty of time that she was getting a brother. She cried so much! She’s still not sold on the idea of a brother, he’s 2.5yo now :lol:

#16 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 April 2020 - 12:54 AM

 Starflash, on 28 April 2020 - 11:01 AM, said:

DS1 was 2.75 when DS2 was born. I never really told him, I suppose he worked it out gradually from overhearing, and enjoyed going to the clinic a few times to hear the Doppler by the end.
this was us too. We knew at 20 weeks that we were having another girl. Towards the end of my pregnancy with DD2, we bought a book about being a big sister. That helped with excitement levels.

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