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Favourite worst jokes!

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#1 Bigfatbum

Posted 30 December 2005 - 07:18 PM

I love a bad joke what are your favourite bad ones? Come on people I want to hear groaning!!

My favs are
A man went to a zoo
when he got there, there was only a dog
it was a sh*tzu.

2 men walked in to a bar - the third ducked

#2 ShinySpecialOne

Posted 31 December 2005 - 12:40 PM

What's the difference between a toddler and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist. ph34r.gif

#3 ~Sh3ekY M0nKeY TaMeR~

Posted 31 December 2005 - 01:56 PM

Whats brown and sticky.....

A STICK!!! bu da bum ching (on the drums)

A horse walks into a bar
the bartender says why the long face?


#4 Rhylia

Posted 31 December 2005 - 03:09 PM

Love tragic jokes!!!

What did the '0' say to the '8'?

Gee, I like your belt.

So horribly tragic, but I hope you're laughing laugh.gif

#5 Meagan

Posted 31 December 2005 - 03:30 PM

Whats red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket!

Whats green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!

Whats green and sings?
Grass, but I lied about the singing!

I use to know heaps, they would always send my bro & I into hysterics.

#6 LCM

Posted 31 December 2005 - 04:47 PM

I liked the zoo one!!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

What do you call a bear with no ears?

What do you call postman Pat when he retires?

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

#7 MummaSgettie

Posted 01 January 2006 - 08:57 AM

My daughter favourite:

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put some boogy in it!


#8 Skipper

Posted 01 January 2006 - 08:20 PM

Oh man! These are TERRIBLE!!... but I still laughed!!

This one a 4 year old told me and I practically piddled my dacks laughing.

Q: Why did the man cross the road five times?
A: His suspenders were caught on a pole.

(Now imagine feral Hewie as that man! original.gif )

#9 Rainbow.Nomad

Posted 02 January 2006 - 12:06 AM

Why did the boy fall off the swing?
  Cos someone threw a fridge at him!

  Why did the boy fall off the swing?
  Cos he had no arms! (i know, very politically incorrect)

What's red and white and swings through the jungle?
A coke machine!
What's grey and follows it?
The extension cord!

Very, very sad! Even sadder that i remember them!

#10 Bigfatbum

Posted 02 January 2006 - 11:16 AM

OMg I am in bad joke heaven. and wetting my pants - Joshie loves them but Dh isnt so sure!!

#11 Olivia~Maddies mumma

Posted 02 January 2006 - 05:37 PM

Why did Piglet look down the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

sorry, that's very daggy

#12 Gemstone

Posted 03 January 2006 - 08:12 PM

1) What did the farmer say to the cow on his roof?

"Get off"

2) A bear walked into a bar.  He said to the bar tender, "Can I have a ............. beer please?"
The bar tender said "Why the big paws?"
The bear replied, "I was born with them"

3) Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

It was dead

4) Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?

It was dead

5) Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

He thought it was a game.

6) How did the kangaroo die?

Three koalas fell on him!

W7) hy did the plane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread

8) Why can't Jimmy ride a bike?

Jimmy's a fish

I love lame jokes!

#13 Hollybaby

Posted 03 January 2006 - 08:24 PM

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns ?
A. Because they taste funny.


#14 ~mimo~

Posted 04 January 2006 - 10:23 AM

Why did the girl slide down the slippery dip on her toenail?

Because she wanted to.... rolleyes.gif

#15 TasJess

Posted 06 January 2006 - 03:16 PM

An Englishman, an American and an Australian were caught by cannibals in a hostile country.  The cannibals said to the Englishman "We will boil you, eat you and make your skin into a canoe! Any last requests?" The Englishman asked for a knife so he could kill himself quickly rather than be boiled alive.

The cannibals said to the American "We will boil you, eat you and make your skin into a canoe! Any last requests?" The American also asked for a knife so he could kill himself quickly rather than be boiled alive.

The cannibals said to the Australian "We will boil you, eat you and make your skin into a canoe! Any last requests?" The Australian asked for a fork.  Confused, but curious, the cannibals complied.  The Australian started stabbing himself with the fork and screamed "Your not making any F'n canoe out of me!!"

#16 Havachat2

Posted 06 January 2006 - 03:20 PM

What goes 'zzub, zzub'?

A bee flying backwards!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!  (my nine yeaar old nephew loves that one! biggrin.gif

#17 MadamButterfly

Posted 07 January 2006 - 08:15 PM

what are hundreds and thousands?

smartie poo

lol biggrin.gif

#18 Barefoot

Posted 08 January 2006 - 04:04 PM

This one was my favourite when I was younger:

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
                 With a blue elephant gun

How do you shoot a red elephant?
                 (the responder usually answers- With a red elephant gun)    Hold it's nose until it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun. biggrin.gif

What is the difference between oranges?
                 Biscuits because motorbikes dont have doors.

What is white and sits in the middle of a football field?
                 A fridge

Why did Billy fall off his bike?
                 Billy is a fish.

What is black and white and red all over?
                 A zebra with sunburn

What is black and white and red all over?
                 A penguin with nappy rash

What is black and white and re(a)d all over?
                 A newspaper

biggrin.gif  tongue.gif  biggrin.gif  tongue.gif  biggrin.gif  tongue.gif  biggrin.gif  tongue.gif

#19 ShinySpecialOne

Posted 08 January 2006 - 08:56 PM

Two fish were sitting in a tank.

One fish said to the other fish, "You man the guns, and I'll drive."

#20 SBNI

Posted 08 January 2006 - 09:16 PM

PMSL at the 3 koalas and the kangaroo biggrin.gif
and LURVE the fish in the tank lol!

ok heres mine!

what did the blind carpenter do...
he picked up the hammer and saw!

what did the pig say when the farmer grabbed him by the tail...
This is the end of me!


#21 Topaz

Posted 08 January 2006 - 09:21 PM

This is a great thread.

Why was 6 sad
Because 7 8 9

Why did the chicken cross the road
To see his flatmates

#22 JED's_dad

Posted 14 January 2006 - 02:23 AM

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.

Why did everybody leave Hungry Jacks?
Because someone dropped a whopper.

#23 cheryl36

Posted 14 January 2006 - 11:47 AM

What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey spew.

How do you catch a unique animal?
Unique up on it.

#24 ShinySpecialOne

Posted 14 January 2006 - 01:47 PM

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

#25 Mummy to HJ

Posted 14 January 2006 - 05:10 PM

OMG, these are soo lame they're funny biggrin.gif

Whats big, red and eats rocks?
A big red rock eater

What time should you go to the dentist?
At tooth hurty (2:30)

What do u call a deer with no eyes?
No Idea (Eye Deer)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls?
Still no f**king idea

I got a heap, but i cant remember!   LOL

Be bak when I can think of more

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