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Recipients' BG #2
133 replies to this topic
Posted 25 March 2006 - 01:37 PM
Here's some new space for you....BG#1 can be found here..
Posted 25 March 2006 - 01:40 PM
Thanks for doing the housework Cindy LOL
We were getting a bit slack with it
Posted 08 April 2006 - 11:30 AM
I just have to post because we have fallen so far off the first page, but I don't think I have much to report as yet !
I have been on BCP for 20 days now, and my ED starts lucrin in 2 weeks, so I am sure I will be posting lots of freakouts soon !!! aaaaaaaarrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh.
How are you all ?? whats going on ???
Hope you are all happy & healthy
Have a great weekend
Posted 08 April 2006 - 01:07 PM
Wow...X, that's exciting! I'll be very interested to hear all about every stage of your journey.
Nothing much happening here...searching for a donor.
Posted 09 April 2006 - 06:19 PM
Hi Rain and XFactor,
I notice your signature says 'moving on to ED' and at first I took this as Embryo donor, but then realise you probably mean Egg Donor??
I am probably right behind you - just starting my research.
Posted 09 April 2006 - 06:46 PM
Yes it is egg donor, as my DP likes to tell me "his part works perfect " !
Good luck with your reserch, I myself foung a huge weight lift off my sholders when we decided to move on to ED.
Once you make a decision, its not nealy as daunting as it seems.
Posted 09 April 2006 - 07:42 PM
Hi everyone, just checking in,
Can't wait to follow your progress X
Nothing much to report, I see my new doctor at the end of the month, have been waiting ages for this appointment, hopefully it gets us off the starting blocks in terms of new clinic etc..
Best wishes to all.. Leanne
Posted 09 April 2006 - 08:07 PM
Hi XFactor.....thankyou for responding, after reading through the posts in recipients BG#1, I then totally realised ED was egg donor.
Funny you say about the wait being lifted, I have really only just started considering this option....I knew that looking further afield was possibly 'around the corner' but it wasn't until my FS verbalised it on Thursday that it has been a full on consideration in my mind. I am just starting to 'warm' to the idea, and I'm sure once I totally accept and get on with it, it will be a weight lifted. Having said that, I am preparing to give IVF one (or two??) more shots - if my FSH level will let me. I will make an appointment with a counsellor shortly just to find out what I'm in for and how I go about getting the ball rolling.
Naturally I have so many questions, but I just have one for now if anyone could help or give their opinion. I have been thinking in the back of my mind if I know of any likely donors and I thought of a very good friend of mine. She has definitely completed her family (but I can't remember how old she is, I know she is younger than me, and I think she may be 36???? maybe 37?? Maybe even too old??). She is an aussie, but currently they live in NZ and will be for at least another 12-18 months. I know that IF she agreed to this, she could get back to Melbourne easily enough but the logistics may just be too hard. But aside from all of that - my question is - how do you approach someone to ask them?? Do you just kind of come right out with it, or do you just let them know you are looking for a donor and hope that they might consider themselves and offer? The husband has been a friend of mine for the last 20 yrs and his wife has become a very dear friend also. They are coming to Melbourne in a few weeks (for his 40th birthday party) and IF I did want to discuss it, at least I would have a chance to do it in person - but wondering how to go about it. Obviously it would be quite early for me to start approaching as i am still getting my head around it all (and still wanting to do on more IVF),but knowing she could be a perfect candidate it would be a good opportunity to sound her out. Or....do you think her being in NZ would just be ridiculous anyway? And the fact she may even be 37 or 38??
Sorry if I am using all the wrong words and terminoligy, I feel weird talking about this - and using the words 'candidate' etc - but I will learn. So anyway, any tips on approaching friends with this sort of thing??
Thanks in advance, and good luck to you all in your journey.
Posted 10 April 2006 - 03:00 PM
I've been in a similar situation to you - I was also a poor responder to IVF and also had several cycles cancelled due to high FSH. Its just a sign of age for me being 39.
When we first began considering ED, my best friend offered to donate - she believed herself to be extremely fertile ( 2 kids, been pregnant several times when using contraception) She is 40.
Although my FS said he would consider her as a donor if she tested out ok with all her bloods, her levels also showed high FSH due to age. (although she wouldnt respond well to IVF she still may have had no trouble conceiving naturally..)
I had another friend who was about 36 also offering but I realised that unless the donor was going to really up the statistics (ie be much younger than me) i wouldnt want to go through all the time, money and heartache for only slightly increased odds. I was lucky enough to find a potential donor who is only 23 but until she has her appt with my doc next week she wont make the final decision.
Logistically as you said, process could also be very tricky with a donor not being in the same country even if she is willing to travel.
Regarding how to approach a potential donor, I would tell her of your situation and the option of ED, let it all sink in and let her think about it, then approach her after she has hade time to think. She may even have offered by then. I was amazied at the few friends and one young acquaintance that all offered without me having to ask once they knew of my situation.
With a donor thats 25 you have about 50% chance of success. The older they are esp over mid 30's the chances really decrease. For me I just decided I'd been through enough and only want to proceed with great odds. These are SIVF success rates according to age ( works out same as age of donor)
Good luck with your decision
Posted 10 April 2006 - 07:14 PM
But would you turn down a donor because they were 36.
I have a potential donor who I thinkk is ideal. Unfortunately she won't be able to donate for anywhere between 9 - 12 months. I have recently had a 36 year old approach me who I'd say is fairly definite in donating if we both meet each others 'criteria' following conversation. If you were in my shoes would you say no to the 36 year old when there is no guarantee you won't get someone else for a long time.
Posted 10 April 2006 - 08:19 PM
No of course I wouldn't turn her down, especially if it was my only option at that stage. (I didnt turn my 40 year old friend down, but the bloods did that for me.) However i am just letting CeeBee know that she may need to be prepared for the fact that her friend may not be as suitable as she'd hope. I just wanted CeeBee to be informed. Also when there is a donor that is already over 35 that would be delayed further for some reason, unfortunately this still lowers the odds for success. There is always the chance the donor will defy all odds and we are all hoping for miracles with every step of the IVF game - but for me I just felt that i couldn't handle risks that were too great. This is just my story and everyone has to make their own decisions. I only passed my 36 yr old friend up because I was in the extremely lucky situation of having a much younger donor at hand at the same time.
I hope your donor is perfect
Posted 10 April 2006 - 10:47 PM
Sorry I always forget to sign these things. By your bloods do you mean FSH level. Is that standard as part of the genetic testing. Haven't got that far yet and never had it done, that I'm aware of on my own cycles. having said that I guess that's why they do day 1 bloods, although I didn't always have them.
Posted 11 April 2006 - 12:10 PM
Hi Kim, Yes they check FSH, oestrogen and progesterone on day 1 2 or 3 and also do standard checks for things like HIV, hepatitis, syphillus, a gene for cystic fibrosis, & a full blood count.
Of course there is counselling involved if they pass the bloods.
Posted 11 April 2006 - 09:31 PM
Hi Tracy and Aurynsearch
Thanks for your advice and input - it is all food for thought and I appreciate hearing all views and comments - so thanks.
Posted 13 April 2006 - 05:10 PM
My potential ED finally (after an agonising 8 weeks) had her appt with my FS and still seems keen. I keep expecting her to change her mind. She had her bloodwork done today too so awaiting results. Then if all is OK, its an ultrasound for her and then onto counselling. Keeping my fingers crossed...
Posted 21 April 2006 - 08:49 AM
turns out my ED needs an ultrasound befire my FS will read all the results together, so now just waiting for her to get a U/S appt. Its all so agonising the waiting and I cant bear that its out of my control! She will only do appts outside of her work hours which is why we keep having these long delays but she will only proceed if the cycle is all over and done with by end of july as her parents are then visiting form O/S. I know she is being so amazingly generous by even thinking about donating but I still feel so out of control and helpless! aaaarrrgghh@@#!!
Posted 21 April 2006 - 02:09 PM
I can relate somewhat as I have a potential donor that I think is interested by don't have much communication from. She said she might be busy with easter etc so probably wouldn't hear from her so not quite sure whether she is still keen etc. Don't like to chase as that could turn her off but I had a similar incidence at the end of last year with a donor who disappeared shall we say so not being too hopeful.
Posted 21 April 2006 - 03:50 PM
I so hope your current potential ED reappears soon. Its awful isnt it. I dont think they realise how much angst we are going through. Most EDs seem like such amazingly caring, generous and altruistic people but it is difficult when in our case it seems they are a bit more breezy about it all.
My ED rang me this afternoon, still hadnt make the U/S apt so I offered (again) to make the appt for her. The best one I could get was in 2 weeks time. I am not even sure what kind of US it is (I made it for a pelvic exam) so am hoping it doesnt matter that she'll be towards the end of her cycle by then. She is on the pill so doesn't ovulate anyway. Does anyone know? Couldnt get on to doctor to ask either and his assistent thought it was just a plevic exam, no follicle scan required but would love confirmation.
Posted 22 April 2006 - 11:09 PM
I wish I could give you more advice on what the procedures are for the donor. I would think it depends on the doctor.
I'm wondering even if my potential donor does reappear whether the fact she is missing in action at times means that she won't be able to make appointments either.
Frustrating when for some it appears (though perhaps there is more behind the scences that we're not aware of) that its all easy and organised within a matter of weeks.
Let me know how you go and what the scans are all for as I might need to find out myself in the future.
Posted 26 April 2006 - 10:30 PM
Hi everyone.....well I have only just started researching the whole 'ED' path, and just last night a good friend asked me where I was at with my whole 'journey' so I was telling her all about how I am at the stage of probably needing to find a donor (knowing full well that she was a potential candidate made this a bit uncomfortable but being a close friend i wanted to tell her regardless) and lo and behold she pretty much outright told me that she had already decided that she wanted to offer. The good part is that she says she had already thought about it, had already discussed it with her husband (who was actually my friend before they got together so both of them are very dear friends). What I mean is, it isn't like she was offering because she felt I was hinting and felt put on the spot (if you know what i mean). But I know there is a long way to go because there is so much to consider and think/talk about. Last night after she said that, I didn't want to appear pushy and so we really didn't go into it in any depth apart from acknowledging that I needed a donor and she was prepared to offer.
Anyway.....I think I mentioned her in a previous question to you all a while back - she is an australian citizen but currently lives in NZ. They just happen to be here for a wedding and her husbands 40th birthday party this weekend which gave me a great opportunity to put my feelers out with them. She is currently 36 turning 37 in July (I wasn't sure how old she was before)....however, I am wondering how we will get around the fact that she lives in NZ. She is here for a few more days but I don;t think we will get the opportunity to discuss it properly enough to decide to see the FS and/or councellors etc while she is here.
Actually I don;t really have a particular question, just kind of needed to 'verbalise' that I might have a potential donor (fingers crossed without getting too excited just yet) and wondering if anyone has any input with regards overseas donors??
I am not totally sure what kind of scan is required, but I think it is a pelvic scan (like you have booked). But you will need to check properly to be sure.
Posted 27 April 2006 - 11:38 AM
Hi CeeBee, Thats great news that your friend has offered to be a donor, you must be very happy and relieved. As you are both committed to the process I think the O/S barrier is surmountable. She'll need to have all her testing done first anyway which will be no problem to do over there and can even do the counselling via the phone. Obviously she'll need to be free to travel at fairly short notice if all goes ahead. I have a friend who is using an O/S sperm donor and they did all the tests O/S, then counselling and doctor consulation via phone, and he will fly over here as she nears EPU. If your clinic is understanding it will be fine.
By the way the scan was "pelvic pathology" which apparently is first an external then an internal scan. First she'll need to do bloods - FSH, oestrogen and progesterone on day 1-3 of cycle and then all tests like HIV syphillis, hepatitus etc
Let us know how you go!
Posted 27 April 2006 - 05:20 PM
Great news about your friend being a possible donor Ceebee. I hope it all goes well, best of luck.
Tracy - what date is your ED's U/S ? I hope it's not to far away.
How is everyone else ??
My ED has been on Lucrin since Sun and gets back to Oz on the weekend for her blood test on Sunday.
And my TMI !!!! Heavy spotting has started again today, I am starting to get worried that I wont get a fresh transfer, I also want to know why I am not on Lucrin because it seems that is the norm for recipient's ????? AAAARRRHHHHH
STARTING TO FEEL REAL, BIG TIME !!!
Posted 27 April 2006 - 06:04 PM
Hi X, How exciting for you! hope it all goes to plan and you get a fresh transfer. So you must be due for transfer in about 2 weeks right? I have a question for you too, is there any preference to what BCP the recipient should take? Cos I am thinking of starting on it next day 1 (after your experience of not being told earlier i am trying to get a step ahead)
My ED's ultrasound is next Friday 5th so a week to go. We both have our first counselling session tomorrow as I was too impatient to wait til after the U/S!
The latest in our process was that my ED had to wait 2 hours to see a GP to get the rubella script she needed yesterday in her lunchbreak and was late back to work. She got in trouble at work and now i am worried about her going to other appts and it all getting too hard. I've suggested she take a day off (paid by me) and try to get the US and 2nd counselling done on the same day without too much stress.
Anyway, will see what happens. I have to say though I am getting very stressed about being so near and yet so far!
Any news on your ED Kim?
Edited by tracy66, 27 April 2006 - 06:06 PM.
Posted 28 April 2006 - 04:09 PM
Ahh, am feeing much more relaxed and confident today. Both my ED and my DH and I had our first counselling sessions today and it all went fine - so it all feels more real now and the counsellor didnt have any concerns about my ED so far. The counsellor was great and we dont need to do a second one. My ED has her second one next week and then we'll all do our group one the week after.
X - I phoned the nurses today and asked them about the pill and they said it would be easier if I was on it too and to come in next week for a script. So I am really feeling on top of things now. We should really be ready for a June/July transfer if things keep going well!
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