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Swearing Children at Daycare
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:24 PM
Absolutely horrified to hear my DS1 (3yo) telling me the newest word he learnt at daycare on Friday.
Happily sitting outside on the back deck yesterday afternoon eating iceblocks together and DS turns to me and says (warning - about to swear now). "motherf****r" I said "I beg your pardon" thinking that I really must clean the wax out of my ears as there is no way he could have said that, but sure enough he said it again.
OF course DH and I told him calmly that that was a yucky word that we didn't like and he wasn't to say it. Then I asked him who taught you that word and he said "XYZ say that to me".
XYZ is one of DS's friends at daycare (this little boy only goes 2 days per week) and almost every day that he has been there, DS will say to me "XYZ say rude words today" (in our house bum, poo and stupid all classify as rude words so he most certainly did not hear it at home) or "XYZ had timeout today in trouble" so I'd say he is a bit of a mischieveous one.
But seriously, where does a 3 year old here such a word?!?!? I am still in utter shock at hearing such a filthy word coming out of my beautiful boys mouth.
Should I raise it with the director at Childcare to see if they can perhaps talk to this boy or his parents about his language? There is no way that any of the children at this centre should be hearing this type of language. Should I bring it up, and just laugh it off as one of those funny childhood stories and let it go?
Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:29 PM
OMG That would have knocked me off my feet.
I hear children at my kid's school swearing and when I am with my kids they will say mum that is so disgusting isn't it?
I just teach my kids that there are children out there who do things that are wrong and not a nice thing to do or say and that seems to have worked well for me so far.
I would probably say something to the teacher myself as I wouldn't want my young child hearing that every day,it tends to stick if they do.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:29 PM
Unfortunately, you are always going to get this in day care, there's nothing really you can do to stop it. I think you did exactly the right thing by remaining calm and not making a big issue out of it, just explaining it's not a nice word to say.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:46 PM
My neighbour uses these words all day long when she is screaming at her children. So i think some kids just dont get taught naughty words and they dont realise its wrong especially it their parents use that type of lanuage.
We are hoping she will move out before DD is old enough to play outside so she doesnt have to hear it.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 01:13 PM
My friend's 3yo called my 5 yo dd a f***ing c*nt not so long ago. My dd hadn't heard that one before so trotted over to me to ask what it meant . While I was explaining to dd that it was swear words and that we don't use them, my friend was hauling her dd over the coals AGAIN for her foul mouth, she picks up some charming phrases from daycare and relishes using them in public.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 01:18 PM
I use to have have the same problem with my DS when he was at pre-school, garaunteed every day that he goes he would start proudly telling me these new words he learnt that day. I approached the teachers several times and they would say no children there swear that it must be coming from somewhere else. I said to her I could assure her that it was from children in that school as DS named names, but they didn't believe me.
Well this one day they came up to me and said 'we've had some trouble with Will's launguage today can you speak with him about this' and I said yes certainly what were the words and they said 'bum and fart' I couldn't believe my ears bum and fart WTF oh please how pathetic.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 01:29 PM
Bum and Fart? Gosh, DS gets called Rudey Bum every night he has a nappy free run before his bath. And I'm sure DH has called him Farty Bum on the odd occasion too.
DS knows that F & C words are just not on though. He's going through a mimicky stage at the moment, so we've been bracing ourselves for these pearlers.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 03:20 PM
What is worse is that children know when to use this sort of language ie. when they are mad at something or someone!!
I can remember when my girls were 4 and came home from Daycare with a real gem....."STUIPID F*#%EN CATHEAD". I think they got the cathead part mixed up with something else!!! They used to say it to each other when they were fighting!
Unfortunately, these children that are teaching such language are being taught by their parents!!! It's disgusting the way that some parents speak to their kids and this is when other people are around to hear it, imagine how they are spoken too behind closed doors!
Posted 27 March 2006 - 03:29 PM
Yes, Claudia has picked up some not so graceful terms over her years at daycare and also from other adults in her life. Occasionally DF or I will come out with the shortened version of Sugar Honey Ice Tea, but will immediately appologise for it. I konw that doesn't make it right, but in the whole scheme of things I don't think that particular word is nearly as bad as F and C and B and so on.
To the OP, I know this must sound strange to say but lets hope that bad language is as bad as it gets. DSD was in a daycare centre for a while last year where one particular little boy told her that he didn't like her mother so he was going to stab her and cut DSDs throat.
Posted 27 March 2006 - 03:38 PM
I don't think it is limited to day care..
I was at the park the other day with DS ( all of 11mths ) and heard some lovely little boys, maybe 10yrs - calling each other F'ing C's.
Unfortunatly, our children are going to hear these words and what you said to your child was perfect. I would speak to your daycarers about the language being used.
My mum always told us that if we heard a word at school and we did not know what it meant, that we are not to repeat it, but come home and tell her. She would then explain what it meant to us. Let me tell you, did we come home with some doosies!!!
I must admit, I did laugh out loud when I read your post - I could just imagine this perfect little sweetie starting up at Mummy and saying that word!!
Hopefully he forgets it soon!
Posted 27 March 2006 - 03:41 PM
Before I had DD i was a room leader in a Childcare Centre and some of the language the children pick up off each other is terrible. We would try to nip it in the bud as soon as possible by explaining to the children that they are not words we use at the centre or anywhere because they are not nice things to say ets etc. we would also encourage the kids to let us know when the other children were using it so we could deal with it one on one with the child and we would always bring the issue up with the parents of the children who have been saying it. At a couple of the centres I have worked at the staff in some of the rooms swore constantly so the kids were picking the words up from them and going home saying it to their parents...as you could imagine there were some very angry parents...
It is hard to fix the swearing problem if they are picking it up from home, they will keep doing it because the parents do and its not an issue for them. Another wonderful thing to deal with is when parents of toddlers teach their kids the words because they think the child sounds funny and cute
Wow, I could go on, but I think you should report it because the Director will want to find out about it and hopefully the staff are already trying to deal with it. If not then they can plan how to deal with it all.
Sorry about the rant, children swearing is a bit of a sore point for me
Have a great day,
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