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EB's Lost Babies.


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#76 Melissa4444

Posted 23 May 2006 - 07:25 AM

Ladies,

This thread has already had almost 3200 views!  People are reading about these precious babies!  


#77 Mariamsmum

Posted 23 May 2006 - 10:31 AM

I just wanted to say that every morning I stop in to visit this thread and to hear and learn about your precious angels...

And every morning I leave with tears in my eyes and a special prayer for all these precious, loved babies that were taken way too soon...

Flying fish, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing Caelum's story...the pain, the longing and the numbness that you describe...I could not find the words...it was exactly how I felt...it's just heartbreaking...I am so sorry that you never got to see Caelum grow up...

its funny, people say I'm strong, but I don't, and never have felt that way...I don't know how, but somehow, you just survive?

Thank you for remembering our babies...

#78 ~JASB~

Posted 23 May 2006 - 01:26 PM

Thank you Melissa.  This is a great idea.

I'd like to post on behalf of my good friend Jannette (Jet07) who's in my Feb 03 MG.  Jannette doesn't get into EB very often anymore but her little boy belongs in this thread.

Tainn Hunter and his surviving twin brother Shea were born 17/11/02 at 25 weeks.  Gorgeous Tainn became an angel on 8/1/03 due to NEC.

I think of you often Tainn and I know you will be forever in the hearts and thoughts of your mummy, daddy, twin brother Shea, and your new baby brother Talon.

Thinking of you Jannette.
xx

#79 swany

Posted 23 May 2006 - 01:34 PM

Great idea Melissa

I'll add my angel, Zack was born in April 2004 and died Jan 2005 at 9months  old. He was born with a bowel problem after many operations his bowels worked ok but then he was unable to tolerate feeding. Being stuck on tpn he ended up with chronic liver disease. We were able to get him home for his last month before he got a infection and he became an angel.

I love and miss him so much, he has a new baby sister now who reminds us in many ways of him.

Edited by swany, 23 May 2006 - 01:48 PM.


#80 LittleBT

Posted 23 May 2006 - 08:26 PM

I'd like to add my baby I Miscarried at 12 weeks and 1 day on the 9th of May 2001.

#81 Grammy

Posted 24 May 2006 - 12:04 PM

I didn't think I had any tears left after hearing of Colter's passing on the weekend, but here I am weeping again for all you wonderful ladies who have angels with our Heavenly Father.  May the love and support of this wonderful EB family be with you all.  Your angels will all be in my prayers tonight.
I have never lost a child so I can't even pretend to know how it must feel, but I do know that my heart feels heavy as I read about your angels.....love to you all.....

#82 Steggles

Posted 25 May 2006 - 12:03 PM

Hi Ladies, just wanted to link you to something I did today - read it here.
http://members.essentialbaby.com.au/index....howtopic=229396

Annette

#83 BlackSocks

Posted 25 May 2006 - 01:22 PM

Hello,

I would love for my baby boy to be remembered, as I do everyday, sometimes hourly and sometimes only seconds apart.

Henry was born at 27 weeks. My husband held my terrified hand during the c-section, both of us waiting to hear his first cry. And he did!! Boy did he cry, it was the most wonderful sound in the world, and even now if I shut my eyes deeply, I can still hear his first magnificant cry. Shortly after his birth he was put on full ventilation, for the moment he couldn't breathe on his own, and he's under developed lungs were a enormous worry to us and his Dr's.

He was incredibly strong and his Dr's often under estimated his strength and willingness to live. The brightness in his eyes began to shine, he held my little finger everyday so tightly, right up untill he took his last breath. He tolerated my breast milk, but most of all the hours upon hours of cuddles we shared were the most cherished between us. His breathe on my shoulder and the warmth of his tiny body laying on my own heart were very healing and comforting.

When Henry turned 3 weeks old, the hole in his heart re-opened (PDA), causing he's lungs to collapse...he died in my arms shortly thereafter....

I keep holding him, captured in my heart, every day and every night.


Peta.


Edited by BlackSocks, 27 September 2010 - 02:59 PM.


#84 Purpletulip

Posted 25 May 2006 - 01:41 PM

I just wanted to say my heart goes out to each and every one of you that has lost a child.  It is truly like losing a part of yourself that you can never get back.  For me it changed forever who I was, and the way I viewed the world.  Reading your stories has brought back so many memories and feelings for me.  I cannot begin to imagine the pain some of you have been through, and others I feel like I could have written your words myself.  

You have inspired me to add my angel boy lost in August 2002 at 19 weeks gestation.  We named him Aaron.  We went for a routine u/s only to be told that our much loved baby had died some time in the previous week.  The next morning I was induced and I gave birth that night.  A day I can replay in my mind as if it were yesterday.  To some he was never real, but to us he is our son and we think of him daily.

We love him and miss him and hope we get to meet him again one day.

Rachel

Edited by Purpletulip, 25 May 2006 - 08:52 PM.


#85 Melissa4444

Posted 25 May 2006 - 04:13 PM

I'm so glad we're doing this.  I'm learning about so many little ones I had not previously read about.  Thank you for sharing these stories.

I wasn't going to add mine, because when I started this thread, I didn't want it to be about me.  But you ladies have inspired me, so I thought I might after all, if that's ok.  I have lost two babies, one at 12 weeks, and the other last October at 9 weeks.  

The story for my first lost baby is Here


#86 ~Sweet~Like~Chocolate~

Posted 25 May 2006 - 04:44 PM

Melissa I am so glad you have posted your story. Your little angels are just as important!

And Peta I am so happy to see you have come in to post about Henry! Thankyou for your support.

Sonia

#87 sharuth

Posted 25 May 2006 - 08:19 PM

Melissa thank you for this. I have cried over and over at the stories. There are some that are some here that I remember oh to well and some that I havent seen before.

I would firstly like to add my Uncle Jeffery who died at age 3yrs to cancer. I know it was so long ago but once I lost Jack my Grandmother was able to talk about him and was glad to be able to I think. It was a great although somewhat sad insite. She said to me that she can now talk about him without having tears in her eyes but she still wonders what he would be like. If he would have been married, carried on the farm etc. That was over 40yrs ago now. My heart broke for her.

I would love to add our son Jack Riley born 9th of July 2004 9 days before his older sisters 1st birthday. He was born at 20.3wks after being told at 12wks that we would lose him to severe abnormalities. I wanted to give him every chance I could and all the time I needed to get my head around it all. So the last u/s at 20wks showed no hope (which we basically knew) and was the last time I saw him alive even though it really was for only a couple of minutes.
It was the next day that I was off to the hospital to be induced. I remember seeing the social worker as we walked in. I dont remember going upstairs or the how I got to the maternity ward. I do remember all to well walking to the nurses station and bursting out in tears saying "this is so wrong this cant be happening to us!"
I must have looked like I was trapped and going to run or something. A deer caught in head lights maybe but I was trying to get away.
Three days later we had our son. He had actually died the day before. The contractions were making him move but I knew they werent kicks. It was a bit of a relief knowing that. I dont know why though as I would have given anything to have seen his eyes open.
I had to go and have a D&C to get the placenta out so I didnt really get to see him till I got back. The surgery was a trauma in itself. I had to have a spinal and ended up vomiting several times. One of the staff say "Great! This is going to take forever!" and a couple of others were sitting there talking about when they were planning on having kids etc. The first comment was more upsetting though. I just didnt say anything though I was way to upset. Im glad I was sedated during surgery as I needed some relief and rest.

I had 24hrs with Jack before they took him away. It was also the last time we saw him. We could have seen him at the funeral home but I just couldnt do that knowing how much he had deteriorated in the first 24hrs. I wanted to remember him better than that.

I didnt want to leave the hospital but I had too. They actually wanted me to stay but they were going to get me to move to a ward with other people etc. There was no way I wanted to do that. The room had been my world for 3 days and nights. There was a sense of security there in a way (hard to explain.) So I left under many instructions on why I should come back if a million and one things were to happen.

After Jack was born Fridays were hell for me for a while. They are fine now but coming up to the 9th of July still isnt much easier. It is so true that you learn to live with a piece missing. I feel like some of me is back there with Jack but the rest of me is still trying to keep up with "now"

I have since had my 2nd DD. She is such a delight and such a happy baby. I was getting her ready for bed tonight after reading this thread. I was thinking about what Jack would have been like and if she has a resemblence to him physically in anyway. Both my girls have different coloured eyes and hair. Their personalities are the opposite. What would he have been like? I suppose we are all condemned to the what ifs now. I just hope that I at least get a chance to have a boy and I might get a bit of a taste of what he was like.

I didnt really mean to type that much. It all just came flooding out. Im glad I can touch type as most of the time I was crying through that. I suppose I just needed the healing of being able to talk about him again. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one that remembers him.

Thank you for letting me share this and for those that get this far for reading it all.

#88 Melissa4444

Posted 25 May 2006 - 09:52 PM

Thank You so much for posting Jack's story, Sharon.  Jack is one of the babies that touched me the most when I first joined EB, and I still can't, to this day, see your Username without thinking of him.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


#89 shaquillya04

Posted 25 May 2006 - 11:27 PM

My Mum and Dad lost there son my brother 3 days before he was born due to high blood pressure, My sister has lost 3 daughters 5,10 and 15 minutes after they were born due to spina bifida and my other sister lost her 3.5month old son Jesse James to SIDS i havent lost a child yet but reading all these beautiful stories you can feel the love for them it is making me cry cause my brother that passed away was 1 year 1 day and 1 month older then me so i never met him so i went and got a tattoo with his name and my nephews name on it as well as my nan and pop to remember them by.....Also a friend of mine has lost her twins when she was only 5 months pregnant they survuved a couple of hours but one passed away before being flowen to Sydney and the other whilst in Sydney would i be able to let a balloon go for my loved ones lost..... Thank You  and may god bless your little ones on heaven above




#90 ~Sweet~Like~Chocolate~

Posted 26 May 2006 - 11:21 AM

Tammy please come back in & post a little more about your special boy Samuel.

Sonia

#91 sharuth

Posted 26 May 2006 - 02:31 PM

Melissa - Thank you that means a lot to me knowing that.

#92 Melissa4444

Posted 26 May 2006 - 03:52 PM

No Sharon, thank you..for sharing your special boy with us.

Tammy, I'd really love to hear more about Samuel. I was so sad when he died.


#93 hx2

Posted 26 May 2006 - 06:35 PM

Thankyou to you all for sharing your stories. I have cried solidly for the last half hour and can only imagine the amount of tears you have all cried over the loss of your children.
Thankyou for being brave enough to share. I have worked as a paediatric nurse for the past 10 years and know how the deaths of many of my patients has affected me, so know in a miniscule way what you must feel.

Your spirit was brought to us
from a wish made of love.
We couldn't believe it when we
realized e'd been blessed from above.

In my womb you were growing slowly,but
I found peace knowing you were there.
Then came the tears of loss
and I wanted to know how life could be so unfair.

I had to realize that because you were so
special, God needed you more than I.
It helps me when I feel His loving
hands wipe away my tears as I cry.

I know that someday we'll be together
again, but for now I'll keep you in my heart.
Know that I love you more than words can say
and that God will protect you while we're apart.

#94 mgt

Posted 26 May 2006 - 09:22 PM

thank you all for your beautiful sharing of your angels. I love them too. I have not been able to stop reading or crying, my heart is breaking for all of you. I have not lost a child, I am touched by yours. I am so blessed to have my two boys, and because of you all I will love them even more and hug them tighter and be happy and glad to be up in the night with them, fortunate to be doing so. when my first son was born premature and in the special care nursery it was so hard, I pinned this poem to his crib, I don't know who wrote it anon

my boy

whatever dreams you follow
however far you fly
you'll never be alone my love
on earth or sea or sky
my heart will travel with you
until all your dreams are done
then guide you safely home again
my child, my love, my son

and for those of you with precious angels, our hearts and love are with them in heaven. take care, we send you hope and love.

m

#95 Toucan

Posted 26 May 2006 - 10:00 PM

I want to post these lyrics of INXS's new song "Afterglow"  I love this song, but never really listened to the words till tonight, they are so appropriate for everything going on at the moment.  I love this song:

Inxs - Afterglow Lyrics

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my
window

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from
the roses

It's you and the roses



Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow



Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?

In between the longing to hold you again

I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control

My mind drifts away, we only have today



Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way

I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow



When the faith has gone as I let you go, as I let you go



Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice

Now I'm living in your afterglow



Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from
the roses

It's you who is closest

Thank you everyone for sharing here, it is a special thread, very healing, sad and beautiful.

#96 RedHibiscus

Posted 27 May 2006 - 07:02 AM

OMG so many Angels. sad.gif

I have to add ours. Kobie George, born Friday 9th January 2004 and grew wings on Sunday 11th January 2004. He was full-term.

Normal labour beginning, so nothing exciting lol.

Got to hospital, all was well, had montior put on to check everything and all was going well until I wussed out and requested an epi. Had epi, felt great and things were progressing fantastically. Now it's just before 8pm and I have this excruciating vaginal pain that was NOT a contraction. It kept happening, so Mum called in the midwife, she came in and noticed things 'weren't right' and pushed that button that I guess you dread being pushed.

The room was suddenly full of people, Drs, midwives, students, and I think some passers by lol. I was poked, prodded and told to roll every way possible. DH got back with DD just in time to hold the bucket while I threw up (see, men ARE good for something lol).

I was taken to have an emergency c/s. I knew things weren't going to turn out the way we hoped. DS was born and put on the bed, no cries. The nurse came over and told me they have to 'help him breathe' but I knew deep down that he wouldn't. Well I was right (as usual tongue.gif) and he was taken to the special care nursery while I was being stitched up.

What happened was my uterus ruptured at the time I experienced that awful pain. Kobie delivered through the tear and as my body thought it had delivered him, it reduced blood flow to the uterus, so his oxygen supply was cut off. He was born with a heartbeat, but never breathed on his own. He was taken by NETS to hospital in Melbourne and treated there, and they were awesome.

His prognosis was not good. He was born in a coma (severe brain damage and mulit-organ failure), and started having seizures at 2 hours old. We had his ventilator removed after 2 days. We take comfort in believing that he was chosen to do a special task, and that we were chosen to create him for that task.

We got through the early days by talking about it, and him to everyone and most importantly each other. Tori now says that 'Kobie told me to' when she does things she is not meant to. Having her to care for helped us through the early days as well, and kept us from dwelling on what could have been.

Sorry for the extremely long post. I just love sharing my story. biggrin.gif


#97 Melissa4444

Posted 27 May 2006 - 07:10 AM

Thank You so much for sharing that story, Tracy.  I can't imagine the grief you must have felt (and must still feel).  

You're right, there are a LOT of stories in here, aren't there.  I'm just so glad that so many have come in and shared their precious babies with us. It's lovely that we have somewhere we can all be together to talk about this.

I love EB sometimes..


#98 JJ

Posted 27 May 2006 - 05:18 PM

I would like to add my miscarried angels too -

Ashley (February 02)
Luca (May 03)
Jordan (July 03)

Also, my sister Carolina. Died aged 19 months from a pancreatic disease. Sadly missed by my parents and myself, even though I never got to meet her. sad.gif

Edited by JJ, 27 May 2006 - 05:19 PM.


#99 Moni

Posted 28 May 2006 - 10:28 AM

I would like to add our angel m/c at 7 weeks 24 July 2004.

#100 ~muddleheaded-wombat~

Posted 28 May 2006 - 04:10 PM

Thanks to Tina (huntersmum) for adding Samuel....

Darion (m/c) February 1992
Taylor (m/c) April 1996
Zali   (m/c)June 1999 (a twin)
Jordan (m/c) 16th November 2000
Tyler  (m/c) Jan 2003





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