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Advice or regrets for newbies

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#26 sebela

Posted 11 May 2005 - 05:49 PM

If you are doing O/I and are not prepared to risk high order multiples then use condoms until you know how many follicles you have grown! Just learned this the hard way, DH and I are now discussing whether I should take the morning after pill tonight...

#27 not-surprised

Posted 02 June 2005 - 09:35 PM


Edited by s-m, 17 August 2014 - 03:32 PM.

#28 ratbag

Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:46 PM

Oh and if you feel the hormones starting to affect you and you can feel yourself getting more and more worked up -don't- I repeat don't make that snakey comment to dh.

Go for a brisk walk - LOL!

#29 TaniaB-W

Posted 04 June 2005 - 11:23 AM

I regret leaving such long breaks between each attept.  This was partly because of waiting for doctor appointments.



ME 35  DH 55  SS 28  SS
TTC since Jan 2001
Monash IVF,   MF Vas.
ICSI 4 unsuccessful,FET
1 unsuccessful  (2001-
DI 4 unsuccessful (2003)
ICSI 1 unsuccessful

#30 TaniaB-W

Posted 04 June 2005 - 01:44 PM

I learnt two valuable lessons during my current IVF cycle.
i) look after your self and your feelings first
I'm surrounded by friends and DH's family having babies.  When someone has a baby, you feel obliged to visit soon after it's birth.  When it is family, it's all everyone talks to you about.  
I have always put my feelings aside and made a fuss of the new mother and baby and assured them that I was fine and honestly happy for them even though I was crying on the inside.
When you are going through IVF, your cycle and baby arrivals sometimes clash.   I have had two arrivals during this cycle.  One was early enough to deal with.
The second was at a VERY emotional stage.  After hearing about the arrival several days in a row and being exposed to their first child,  I had to stand up for myself and ask them to stay away until I was ready to see the baby. After I had done that, all of the tension that I had building up inside dissappeared.

ii) always keep a support circle of friends/family
DH and I had not discussed our current IVF cycle with anyone.  We usually try to keep it to ourselves for one main reason - if it works, we don't want many people to know until 12weeks.
I have a select group of friends who I have usually told in the past but hadn't this time.  When I had reached my boiling point from baby arrival overload - I realised that I needed to tell people what I was going through and have not only their support but their consideration for my feelings.  Talking about it helped diffuse the feelings I had.


ME 35 DH 55  SS 28  SS25
TTC since Jan 2001, MF Vas.
ICSI 4 unsuccessful,(2001-03)
FET 1 unsuccessful (2001)
DI 4 unsuccessful (2003)
ICSI 1 unsuccessful (2004)

#31 Capricorn70

Posted 05 June 2005 - 08:56 AM

On a more practical matter, I found the drugs played havoc with my hair and skin - got very dry.  I had to change to a really heavy moisturiser and lathered it on a few times a day.  Also needed treatment for my hair then a good cut - took ages to get back to normal.

DH (48)M/F
TTC #1 01/99
ICSI #1 June/July 04 - BFN
FET #1 August - chem.preg.
FET #2 December - BFN
FET #3 January - BFN
Changed clinics for ICSI #2 NOW!!!

#32 Baby~amore`

Posted 09 June 2005 - 12:33 PM

Thanks for all this fantastic advice
I have learnt so much practical stuff
I am starting IVF now - start Synarel 16th - OPU in mid July - what legends you guys are to share this

#33 Sal78

Posted 11 June 2005 - 07:20 PM

What a great thread!

1) Try to keep thinking positive. It will help you relax. Think of how blessed we are to even be able to afford and do IVF. Think that IVF clinics in Australia have extremely high success rates considering they only allow 1 or 2 embryos transferred.

2) Planning ahead will also help you stay positive. Expect that it may take more than 1 attempt.

3) Each fresh cycle is different. You could suffer from OHSS first time but breeze through the next.

4) My only regret is that I kept putting off IVF for the wrong reason. I was afraid that it would not work.

#34 Little~Oggy

Posted 12 June 2005 - 01:46 PM

I have come up with another suggestion that you
all actually do anyway:

it often helps to have the support of those who are
doing very similar treatment to yourself. Which we
all sort of do unconciously by gravating
towards....POCS, IUI, OI, PGD groups.
Remember if over time your treatment changes so
maybe will those you need specific support yet you
can still be of assistance to those you are
perviously attached to. But also importantly it's god
to have a basic base to come back to!!


#35 Divine MsM

Posted 13 June 2005 - 08:33 PM

My advice is to be prepared to take time off work.

I know this might sound a bit negative and I do apologise for it.  My office has this non-discrimination policy regarding pregnancy and potential pregnacy but my boss was a bully and caused me ALOT of stress.  Being (artificially) hormonal didn't help as I was an emotional mess and this was (sort of) used against me.  I had an unmanageable workload and every time I raised this, they refused to believe me because I was in tears every time I said something.  On an emotional level, taking a break from work and ttc was something I needed to do to get my head together.  I put myself first - no amount of money was worth staying at work - I pretty much tossed my career out the window.

Also, I know this is going to sound awful, but be prepared for negative reactions when you do fall pregnant.  You read about it on EB about how so-and-so said something negative about you being pregnant - and it's worse when they know how badly you wanted to start a family/have a baby.  My advice is to ignore their comments and to enjoy the experience of being pregnant and seek support from only those who are nearest and dearest who will also help you through the tougher times.  A dear friend of mine helped me through my 3rd failed cycle - and she was the first friend I called when I got an unexpected BFP.

If there is something I cannot stress enough it is to be kind to yourself (regardless ttc or not).  At the end of each failed cycle I went to a Day Spa retreat for a minimum of 1 hour (LOVE the sea salt scrub).  If I could time it right, I'd also try to go just before I O'd.

Can I just use this thread to say to those of you who undergo/have undergone IVF I have nothing but the utmost respect for you.  I've done AIH and Clomid and thought they were pretty rough.  I don't have the courage to do IVF (for emotional reasons).  What you women do is nothing short of remarkable and I do dearly hope that you are blessed in the very near future.


Me:  30
DH:  39
Clomid#1 Oct 2003
Clomid#2 Nov 2003
AIH Dec 2003
Surprise BFP:  19 April 2004
DD:  'Spunky Stuff' 9 December 2004

This message was edited by AngelicMsM on Monday, 13 June 2005 @ 8:36 PM

Edited by StillRoz, 02 January 2007 - 01:24 PM.

#36 Fraseky

Posted 17 June 2005 - 12:07 PM

Be positive.  I programmed myself to be convinced that I would fall pregnant and keep it - it gave me a sense of control.  My relatives were extremely concerned that I was so convinced I would fall pregnant and kept trying to talk me into thinking about alternatives but I wouldn't hear it. Being 100% determined and positive allowed me to deal with the blows. I still cried and felt disappointed each month but I got back on my feet and focused on the next cycle far more quickly.  I had more energy too.

BIGGEST THING THAT HELPED ME EMOTIONALLY - a mantra I had:  when I saw a pregnant woman rather than getting upset I would say to myself "she got pregnant, I can too".  After a few times I started to believe it.  

The determination it gave me helped me to keep marching foward to my goal with a sense of control.  

Oh and on the work front I TOTALLY agree with AngelicMsM - try not to expect the best from yourself at work.  Everyone is different and some people will throw themselves into work.  I was the opposite, I couldn't focus on work.  If you are like that, accept that average preformance at work is completely understandable given the circumstances - you have a lot on your plate.  

I actually dropped my high stress career for an easier job that was less demanding....it paid off (in the emotional sense).

Me (33)
DH (37)
TTC #1 since 03/03
Lots of Endo,
2 x Lap,hyst,dyes 05/03 & 11/04
2 x M/C 10/03 9 wks, & 02/04 8 wks
2 x IUI 09/04 & 10/04 - BFN
BFP!!!! 24/12/04 EDD 1/9/05

This message was edited by Fraseky on Friday, 17 June 2005 @ 12:14 PM

#37 Fraseky

Posted 17 June 2005 - 12:18 PM

Oh and breathe out when the needles go in!  Do a big sigh!  It relaxes you mentally and physically and it won't hurt nearly as much.

Me (33)
DH (37)
TTC #1 since 03/03
Lots of Endo,
2 x Lap,hyst,dyes 05/03 & 11/04
2 x M/C 10/03 9 wks, & 02/04 8 wks
2 x IUI 09/04 & 10/04 - BFN
BFP!!!! 24/12/04 EDD 1/9/05

#38 3bubs

Posted 19 June 2005 - 09:53 AM

For those that are worried about injecting:

I have found that putting ice on your skin for at least 2 minutes to numb the area takes the sting out of the needle.


Edited by StillRoz, 02 January 2007 - 01:25 PM.

#39 jasss

Posted 12 July 2005 - 05:31 PM

i havent read all the messages in this post so forgive if i have gone over something thats already been said ..

*trust urself - even if it hasnt been a year ttc , if u feel like somethings not right push the issue - even lie and say it has been a year of ttc
* chart before u head to the doctor as often thats what u will get sent home to do .
*resaearch everything, read as much as u can and lean what the treatments involve
* ask if there are any factors that will affect ur treatment on each cycle .. we have 2 IUI's cancelled they day before insemination due to the scientist being away - and they knew this 2 weeks before sad.gif
*if u dont understand something ASK and keep asking until u get it ..

Steve 34
Emily born April 27th 2005

#40 StillRoz

Posted 17 July 2005 - 07:58 AM

Read this!

#41 AnotherFeral

Posted 28 July 2005 - 02:10 PM

****TMI warning****


They tell you to use panty liners. I have found this isn't enough, as the melted parafin seems to gush out all at once. Try the small ultrathin pads (you know, the ones meant for very light AF days).

Me 28 / DH 29
TTC since the Sydney Olympics (09/00)
DS Caleb, natural conception, stillborn 03/11/2004 (17.5 weeks, Trisomy18)
Me - Nov04 diagnosed mosaic for Turner Syndrome & Tetrasomy X
IUI #1 Apr05 BFN
IVF#1 Jun05 BFN
FET#1 20/07 BT 01/08

Edited by StillRoz, 02 January 2007 - 01:25 PM.

#42 sebela

Posted 17 August 2005 - 11:02 AM

for those with secondary infertility, ch mentioned

If you have any small children already who are normally at home with you be prepared to need full time childcare for a week or more from EPU, or possibly even from a few days before (depending on how your ovaries respond). I over stimulated and spent three days in bed (including day of EPU) I was in so much pain. Once I could move around the house freely (and would probably have been fine going back to a desk job) I was told that to prevent OHSS I needed to continue to rest a lot and avoid exercise as this stimulates the ovaries into making more hormones, so no picking up my 3 yr old, no pushing strollers or swings, running around, long walks etc. DH stayed home the day of and day after EPU, DD had her normal daycare day on day 3, DH did all the care all weekend and then I ended up having to organise emergency day care for DD for the entire following week. I did find care, and she has coped quite well, but it would have been nice to have it sorted out in advance and to have had time to prepare her for full time care.

Also if you are usually a very healthy active person think about how you are going to explain to a toddler that you are so tired all the time, in bed so much, that they can't bounce around near your tummy etc. We had been reluctant to tell DD I was trying to get pregnant because we didn't want her to get her hopes up. But she was getting more and more upset about my being in bed and sick and kept asking when I would be well and then getting angry that I wasn't playing with her or taking care of her. In the end we changed our approach and explained that all the injections and Drs visits are to try to get a baby in my tummy, that hopefully it will work and that I will feel better when all the medicine is finished. She took this extremely well and has been much happier and better behaved since. A few days after we explained all this we heard her tell her gran on the phone "Mummy is taking medicine to try to get a baby in her tummy" so she did seem to take it all in.

#43 Little~Oggy

Posted 16 September 2005 - 07:30 PM

One other piece of advice would be to actively seek
out all the different formats of conception. Donor
gamates, PGD, surrogacy (both Gestional and
Traditional)....but also take into consideration other
ways of making a family. Adoption, ICA, foster care
(possibly to painful for some......like me) or even
Permanent Care.

#44 not-surprised

Posted 30 November 2005 - 12:06 PM


Edited by s-m, 17 August 2014 - 03:31 PM.

#45 Elizabeth JH

Posted 24 January 2006 - 12:10 PM

This discussion is great - I totally agree with all of the comments so far.
I guess the only thing I can add is that couples shouldn't wait too long to seek assistance. We had tried for >12 months and our GP advised to "keep trying a bit longer" and wasn't keen to investigate !! A trip to a medical centre with the name of a clinic got us a referral and appointment within days. A year later we have a beautiful baby girl who took her first steps yesterday !!!!  
I hate to think how long we would have continued to try unsuccessfully had we not have taken the iniative to request a referral.

#46 Magic

Posted 16 February 2006 - 10:34 AM

Try not to focus on IVF so much that you forget about living your life.  (Easier said than done!)

6 years TTC, 5OIs, 16IVFs

#47 Little~Oggy

Posted 17 February 2006 - 06:52 PM

Also give constructive ( and at times not so constructive) feedback to clinic to make them improve their service!
This helps them and us!!! and future patients as well.


#48 patchy028

Posted 25 April 2006 - 09:05 PM

Agree with everything so far.

Just a few more things.
-Shop around.  Different clinics charge different prices and most expensive may not be the "best." My girlfriend went to one clinic, paid twice as much as I did.  I got pregnant and unfortunately she did not.  With the medicare rebate, you also get a lot back these days.  Find out!
-Don't delay testing if you think there is a problem esp when you  only start trying in your mid 30s.
-Don't be tempted to take a pregnancy test after embryo transfer.  Try to wait until the blood test.
-One cycle could give you totally different feelings to the next.  My first two stimulated cycles I felt really bloated towards egg collection.  This time (my fourth stim) I don't feel half as bloated even though egg collection is only a few days away.  I am much more tired though (not sure if it is because I know have a child (ivf)and have other things to worry about - although I am a bit more tired than normal..)

Good luck to all those who are trying..

#49 Star276

Posted 23 June 2006 - 01:26 PM

I keep a "positive visualisation" board up on my fridge... pics of pregnant tummies, the words "40 weeks", newborn babies, breastfeeding and look at it daily.  It helps me stay focussed on my goal.

Also, be prepared that some friends may lose interest in where you are at after 1 or 2 cycles - their lives go on and they forget that this can sometimes take a little longer than expected.

Edited by StillRoz, 14 September 2007 - 06:48 AM.

#50 babyblonde_01

Posted 13 August 2006 - 08:42 PM

hi peoples i just wanted to add no matter what we are going thru we always have the dh or dp that dont quite understand what some of the info means i found taking notes to get the correct info across to him was good, also i agree with the pessaries thing aswell i use to freak out so i use to "rug up" also found lying down was alot easier to use them aswell.
Ummm....... i also found dealing with bubs alot kind of helps, at first i left the room if a baby came in or i'd sit on the floor and cry now, i have 14 neices and nephews (obviously nothing wrong with dh's side) and love playing and holding them biggrin.gif. i also found for me one cycle after another (of ivf) gave me the idea that i wouldnt miss out on any chance i was thrown. and as much as i got my hopes up when i'd get the call from the clinic to tell me how my little bubbles were going i also kept that doubt in my mind (some people think thats bad but it worked for me) so that if worst came  along i could take that step back and realise i knew it might have happened. and last but not least i tried herbal medicaines because if for somereason i dont have children i cant blame not trying. and on that depressing not i will let someone else leave a message  biggrin.gif  have a great week hope i didnt depress anyone

Edited by ĂĻŐńđē‗01, 13 August 2006 - 08:45 PM.

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