Jump to content

Please Give Me Urgent Advice

  • Please log in to reply
97 replies to this topic

#1 edel80

Posted 17 August 2007 - 06:54 PM

Hi, I have spent many months reading the posts and love this site but this is my first ever post.  PLEASE i need some help and really am so distressed. I really want to hear how I can get some action over the terrible incident that i witnessed tonight when i fetched my son from his ABC centre.

I arrvived at 5.45pm - 5.50pm and went to his room to collect belongings.  As soon as I entered the room I could hear my son crying out very loud and upset.  i immediately raced outside as this is where the children were still playing despite the fact it was really quite dark and cold outside.  As I opened the screen door and ran over i heard the teacher saying "push him...... push him harder.........do you like being pushed?"  She had my just turned three year old son lieing on the ground (a hard dirt hill) crying out for help while two MUCH older kids were pushing him not allowing him up. This was supposed to be discipline for him pushing!!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP ME know how I can take action.  I dont want to wait till monday.

#2 wench03

Posted 17 August 2007 - 07:45 PM

OMG! Definatley agree with PP, take this higher!

Poor little boy. This is unjustifiable behaviour by an adult who is supposed to be caring for you children. How frustrating, on a Friday.  rant.gif

I would not let my little one go back to this place until the 'teacher' was dealt with!

#3 Tokra

Posted 17 August 2007 - 07:56 PM

That is absolutely disgusting !!!!

What did you do when you saw this?

Just out of curiosity... how is old is your little? have you witnessed anything else disturbing or is this the first incident?

You definately need to make sure your voice is heard on this issue as it is completely unacceptable. Speak to the Director... anyone who will listen.

Please keep us informed...

#4 edel80

Posted 17 August 2007 - 08:45 PM

Hi, Thankyou for your posts.  I realize I can not do anything about this till monday but just reading your support messages i already feel a bit better about making it through the weekend with this totally taking over my mind.  i just feel so awful for my little boy and so greatful that i got there in time to see this incident or else I would never had known.  My little boy just turned three recently and is a little delayed in language so there is no way he could have told what happened and besides i think i would find it hard to believe that a teacher could use a punishment method so unbelieveably cruel.  I did ring the ABC call centre when i got home but they are closed till monday so i have emailed them but no doubt no reply till monday.  i will definitley be talking with my centre's director first thing monday but i am worried it will get swept under the carpet so really want to take this up with someone higher.  I will definitely be writing the whole incident up before I forget any details.  But I dont think i will  cry1.gif

I was at the lockers collecting my sons bags when i heard him crying out in distress.  i paused for a few second it didnt stop and I could hear the teacher shouting loudly so i quickly raced over to the outside doors (usually the children would be inside this time of night) and saw that my little boy half way down the hill on his flat on his back being pushed by two much older children with teacher right beside him yelling at the older kids to push him harder.  and wether he was enjoying being pushed.  it was not about to stop!!!  I started yelling "what are you doing to my boy" as I ran over to help him. The teacher did not hear me she was to engrossed in egging the older kids on and so the aide went over and told the teacher i was watching.  It was sooo awful i was in tears of sadness and anger.  she went on that i just misunderstood the situation.  WHAT was there to misunderstand.  she said she was sorry and that she wanted to apologize in front of the aide teacher also and would I please forgive her. She said that woulld never discipline kids like that again and that it  was wrong.  I would not trust that, she is not new to the industry in fact I think has worked at that centre for a long time.  My boy has only being going for two months one day a week here and no he will NEVER go back under her care.  I can not explain to my little man what happened to him was so wrong I know his comprehension is not good enough, i have always taught him to tell the teacher if he is hurt or needs help i am sorry this trust has been broken.

THANKYOU  original.gif all for listening and being a support.  it going to be a looong weekend for me!!

#5 Mianta

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:07 PM

Disgusting. Call DoCS. Sorry, but that is abuse.


#6 ~Billy~

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:20 PM

THAT is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read regarding child "care".  Absolutely disgraceful, I would be beside myself with anger and sorrow for my little one.  I'm so sorry you both had to go through this.

Did you send an email to the centre or to ABC Head Office?  If you go to their website you will be able to obtain their email address for head office. If you have trouble finding an email address, click on the link for their Annual Report and towards the end of it you will find contact details for Head Office and Directors of the company.

I suggest writing a letter regarding the incident to Head Office and copying the letter to DHS (or equivalent authoritative body in your state).  Make sure you write at the bottom of the letter "CC to" whoever the authority is, so that ABC know you have alerted them to the incident.  That will make them jump quick smart, and with good reason too.  If you really want to jump up and down and make a scene, send a copy to your local member of parliament while you're at it but at the very least involve DHS (or similar).

You will probably be contacted by the Area Manager who will discuss this with you and speak with the centre director and the carer involved.  Make sure you write everything down this weekend before forgetting anything.

I would seriously reconsider sending my child back to a place that allowed carers to treat little children in this manner.  Let's face it, it wasn't just the carer egging the older children on, the assistant wasn't doing anything to protect your child either.  Though it is possible this is an isolated incident, it would cause me to question the integrity of other carers in the centre and the general culture of their workplace.

Hope you can sort this out.  Give your little one lots of hugs and kisses (I'm sure you have already).  I can't imagine walking into a scene like that, I would be furious.

Best wishes


#7 kbear

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:33 PM

OMG  mellow.gif

I am so sorry for you and your little boy - he is a baby!!!!!

Disgusting. Call DoCS. Sorry, but that is abuse.

If you are in Victoria there is an after hours number for the Department of Human Services. If you would like me to hunt it down for you, I can.

There is also the National Childcare Accreditation Council www.ncac.gov.au and also FaCSIA www.facsia.gov.au.

In fact i would consider it assault, you could call the Police for advice.

I would not bother with the Centre directly, they will try to cover it up. The teacher i am sure will have written an incident report - get this.

Like the PP's have said, document it all while it is still fresh, check your little boy thoroughly for any marks or bruises, if there are any take photos.........

How could this woman do this??? I would class this as abuse, I would be wanting to see her out of there.

I am just appalled and flabergasted.

My thoughts are with you,

#8 edel80

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:39 PM

Hi Billy, I emailed the head ABC office and took the address from their website.  Thankyou for your letter suggestion, I will write one up and hand deliver it to my centre on monday morning.  i will also use your CC suggestion at the top of the letterhead so they realise i won't be satisfied until i know the teacher has been reprimanded heavily for her actions.  YES it does concern me the other lady did not stop the situation.  She rounded up the remaining children and took them inside while i was beside myself talking with the teacher over the incident.  The only words the aide spoke to me were 'i am sorry" as I signed my boy out.  

Well my little man is fast asleep, i have eaten a packet of tim tams and i know there will be very little sleep for me tonight.

I am in Qld so what is the address for DHS or equivilent can any one help me out?

#9 kbear

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:48 PM

I have a couple of numbers you could ring now for advice

Parentline: 132289

Maternal and Child Health Line: 13 22 29

Both services are available 24 hours a day and they will be able to give you the number for the Department of Human Services number in your region.

Still in shock from reading

Here is a link to your DHS website


If you call the number they list, they may have an after hours number.

#10 VJs Mummy

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:49 PM

Just wanted to send yu and your little man hhugs.gif i feel for you both and that is absoletly disgusting behavious i agree with all pp

#11 ~Billy~

Posted 17 August 2007 - 09:50 PM

Hi, I'm not a Queenslander, but it looks like the Queensland Government Department of Communities is who you should copy your letter to.

Here's a link to their contacts page, but have a look around the site, particularly the childcare tab on the top left of the screen.


Hope that helps.  Tim tams sound sensational - forget the hips for tonight, eh?!  Glad your little man is ok and sleeping soundly  wub.gif


Edit:  Kbear beat me to it, just noticed her link, sorry!

Edited by Billy.123, 17 August 2007 - 09:52 PM.

#12 dabarn

Posted 17 August 2007 - 10:02 PM

Hi, I'm new on this site too but I can't help responding to this. I feel sick reading your post. My babies also go to childcare and I would be infuriated and horrified to see this occurring. In fact I would make a report to the police. Do you know the "carer's" name? In WA recently two carers were charged with abuse for tying babies' feet together when sleeping. I imagine inciting children to push your child would be no different. Not to mention the fact that she is also teaching young children that it is okay to push, hurt and otherwise bully other children.

#13 mellyeli

Posted 17 August 2007 - 10:21 PM

My heart goes out to u & ur precious boy  wub.gif

This is disgusting! Should never happen. I work for ABC & this is NEVER accepted. This lady will be fired once head office has received ur email. Head office will not tolorate this ever. I personally agree with the pp, in relation to reporting the incident to DOCS and the ncac. This is verbal and mental abuse, & a person in this position incharge of innocent children! its just outrageous.

Would just like to stress that this staff member & the centre are acountable for this incident,it should not reflect the ABC comapany as a whole.

Good lucck and please let us know how you go, if you need any advice PM me and i can get some personal email address's for u.

#14 edel80

Posted 17 August 2007 - 10:48 PM

Thankyou Billy and kbear for the link to the CCIS, i have their email address/phone number now and i will certainly be contacting them should i not get a satisfactory response from ABC on Monday.  The email i sent to the head office tonight was brief just asking that they please contact me urgently.  I will definitely be emailing them a full report of the incident after I have it written up later.  I really hope Mellyeli that the lady does lose her job, she is not fit to work in child care.  I also believe the aide needs a firm reprimand for not speaking out and stopping the teacher.  I only know the first name of the teacher and dont know the aides name, wish i had those details to include in my letter of complaint. The teacher is the lady who runs my little boys age room.  I still cant believe she would consider getting older kids to hold my boy on the ground and push him as punishment, has she never heard of timeout or redirecting him to a new activity.  He was crying out loudly when it was happening as I could hear him inside the centre and the incident occured outside and at the opposite end of the yard.  She was also showing no signs of letting the older kids stop beating my boy up by the time i had time to work out I could hear my boy crying, open the doors and run down to the other side of the yard, it was then only diffused because i turned up and the aide told the teacher I was there yelling "what are you doing to my boy!!"  she did not even hear me she was too busy!!!!!!!! rant.gif

Thankyou for all your supportive messages, they are really helping me work this all through.

#15 ~Billy~

Posted 17 August 2007 - 11:18 PM

Good luck Edel80.  Please make sure you let Dept of Communities know about this along with Head Office.  I agree with a PP, it really isn't something that any parent would like to see "swept under the carpet", for your sake and the sake of any other child that may fall under her care now or in the future.  It's a most inappropriate form of punishment for something that would be commonplace amongst many youngsters.  I shudder to think of how she has handled this with other children in the past.  It's nothing short of abuse as far as I'm concerned, bullying in one of it's grossest displays.

Keep us posted as to how you fare, best of luck.


#16 bekko

Posted 18 August 2007 - 06:49 AM

I would be taking action and I would be ensuring that the carer involved has action taken against her. She should be sacked! That is not accpetable.

I would ensure you have written it all down. I would also be pulling my child from the centre. What a disgrace!

This is just my personal opinion but I would be looking for a small private centre where kids get a bit more one on one care.

#17 nelliemummy

Posted 18 August 2007 - 01:14 PM

Edel80, your poor little boy  sad.gif   I hope he is ok!!  

This is a parents nightmare!!   rant.gif

Makes you wonder what else has gone on in the past, not just with your child, but all the other poor children.  What have they been taught?  What are the other carers like, as you've said that this one has been there for a while.
I'd only hope that other carers would have reported this type of behaviour!!

Just a suggestion - when you go to the CCC on Monday, see if you can take a support person with you.  
I know that in the past when I have confronted a director with something upsetting, I was that angry and upset I could hardly speak, so having that support person would probably have helped in my case.  

Hope you get a good nights rest, althought I could imagine that you are probably too upset to sleep  sad.gif

#18 Chelli

Posted 18 August 2007 - 01:40 PM

ohmy.gif OMG! I would be livid if that happened to one of my children. I agree with the PP who said this "carer" should be sacked. She has no place working in a child care center with an attitude like that. She just perpetuated bullying, and I can only imagine the damage done to the children she encouraged to hold down your little boy too. Please let us know how you go with your complaint, and if you're not satisfied with the result, take it further. Absolutely unacceptable  mad.gif

I hope your little man is ok  sad.gif

#19 ~Catherine~

Posted 18 August 2007 - 02:21 PM

I agree with PP at taking someone with you when you speak to the Director ..... words can be twisted and I believe having an outside person will help to eliminate this. Also suggest that you are happy for the Director to also have a staff member with her. Would call Monday morning asap and set a meeting, suggest that their area manager be present as well.

I think this is disgusting and I would push for her instant dismissal from the company .... tell them you will be taking it further.

I hope your boy is ok as well as you. It would have been hard not to slap that lady. I have worked in childcare for 8yrs (5yrs in QLD for QCCS) and I am shocked.

Please keep us updated and if you need any help then please ask.

#20 edel80

Posted 18 August 2007 - 02:29 PM

Hello everyone, thankyou for all your messages.  I definitely didnt sleep well last night!!  I have written my letter of report now just have to wait till monday.  The email address on the ABC site is not listed it remains hidden and i cant put my whole letter in the small memo box so i will wait till monday and phone the hotline they have listed and ask for it.  I have had second thoughts about going into the local centre on monday. I would have my little boy and i dont want to put him through hearing the discussion.  in fact he was very upset when i was talking with the teacher friday evening as I was crying.  I will just phone them up get their address and email the letter through also.  Plus i agree nelliemummy I would probably get too emotional about it all anyway to tell the director exactly what happened.

I dont blame the older children at all they were five or so and only doing what the teacher was telling them to.  i guess she was getting them to do what she really wanted to do herself rant.gif   I did write in my letter that under her "care" I believe my boy suffered emotional and physical abuse and that I want to be assured that all action be taken against her.  It is quite a strong letter but then i believe it is justified given the incident and the distress it has caused my little boy and me.  I will certainly let everyone know the outcome of all this.  I am prepared to go over the head of ABC to higher authorities if they continue to allow this lady to work at the centre.

#21 Arthur or Martha

Posted 18 August 2007 - 04:18 PM

I agree with every thing PP's said, this sort of discipline is just not acceptable. I hope you are both feeling better.

#22 smileymum

Posted 18 August 2007 - 05:03 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree with what Happiness wrote.
I would also want the other parents informed of the two children who were egged on, to know that their children were being taught how to bully a child younger then them, as this could lead to problems for them too!

Once again I am so sad for you that this has happened.


#23 JayBelle

Posted 18 August 2007 - 05:14 PM


Edited by JayBelle, 02 April 2009 - 08:48 PM.

#24 extradrops

Posted 18 August 2007 - 05:21 PM

I have just read this post and also the other post about the horrific things people have seen at child care centres.  I have my 18 month old son at a child care centre and am about to start my 6 month old son at the centre.  So far I have been happy but my husband and I often attend the centre at odd times.  The sign out time in the book that we indicate in the morning is never the time we collect our son.  The centre is on their toes with us!!!!!

I personally would have grabbed the woman by the throat and pushed her on the ground and asked her whether she liked the treatment.  

I would not in my wildest dreams be putting up with that sort of child abuse.  I hope that you can attend your police station and report this.  With all the incidents that happen these days with all these monsters working with children she should be stripped of her ability to work in the centre and ever again in the industry.

What a disgrace.

I will be most interested to read the outcome of this incident.

I hope that if your son had bruising etc that you have obtained a medical report from your doctor with photos.

My heart really goes out to you.  What a terrible thing for a mother to see.  I can feel myself bubbling with anger at the thought of what you must be going through.

#25 mum@work

Posted 18 August 2007 - 05:37 PM

I hope you get some answers on Monday.  I would initially contact the director of the centre, either in person (if you can find a friend to look after your son), or on the phone.  Let them know of the incident, and your plan to take it further.  If you go straight to head office, they will ask you if you have contacted the director, so you are best to do that first.  If the director doesn't immediately contact their senior management, do that yourself, and contact the Department of Communities, as they are the ones who run spot checks of centres in QLD.  The office for Children at Dept of Communities ph number is 3224 4557.

You are well within your rights to contact the police as well.  The Department of Child Safety are unlikely to be involved, because they generally only deal with abuse within families.  You can make a formal complaint to the police against the childcare worker, but you'll need her full name.  This should be listed in the foyer of the CCC.

Good luck with it, and give your boy lots of hugs from us.  Our centre recently sacked a group leader for breaching their standards, so I hope the same happens here.

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


Top 5 Viewed Articles

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.