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baby not next to bed?


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#1 ilovecream

Posted 10 March 2008 - 10:52 AM

Are there any hospitals anywhere that don't make you have the baby with you 24/7 immediately after the birth?

I don't understand this.  If medical professionals are so worried about pnd, why are they not letting mothers have any sleep in those few days immediately after the birth.

#2 charkiel

Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:16 AM

I had my DD and DS at Gosford Hosp NSW and the mid wives there were fantastic.

DD was a emergency c/s, and because I was absolutey exhausted, they took her for me for the first 2 nights. DS was an elective c/s, but they took him for the first 2 nights as well.

It may be different with vaginal births, but I was so appreciative of having that time to sleep. I think it made my recovery alot quicker.

Edited by charkiel, 10 March 2008 - 11:17 AM.


#3 2FairyGirls

Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:25 AM

I am going to the Mater at Crows Nest, Sydney and the midwives there told me on my hospital visit that they like to insist (mothers can opt out of course) that the babies use the nursery for the first 2 nights at least to get some rest for the mother.  The mother can use the nursery every night if they like.   I was at NSP as a first time mother and was made to feel guilty about using the nursery, so I didn't do it until I was about to drop with exhaustion on the last night.   this time around I will have no hesitation as I know what I am in for when I get home!!!   laughing2.gif

#4 *rose*

Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:40 AM

I had my DD at Manly hospital 4 years ago and they happily had her stay overnight in the nursery for the first couple of nights. A midwife used to come into my room with a torch and say "Jodi - you daughters hungry now!" and off I'd trot original.gif

#5 greengirl1

Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:56 AM

in melb most private hospitals have a nursery. you can leave the baby in there over nite and they just bring it in for feeds.st vincent private doesnt. the mercy in heidelberg is public but you dont have to room  in you can have the baby in the nursery.

#6 enerjen1

Posted 10 March 2008 - 12:45 PM

Hi,

I just wanted to put another perspective on this - not meaning to upset anyone who did use the nursery.

My 3 babies all roomed in with me and I felt so connected to my new baby each time that I could not have coped if bub had gone to the nursery. I was lucky to have short labours, vaginal births and no complications. I also found that I had trouble sleeping because I was on such a high from the birth and having a new baby. I had the girls at Wyong Hospital and they didn't even have a nursery - which suited me fine. Also once I got home, I hated being separated from my babies for any length of time, generally for the first 6-12 months.

#7 humphreybear

Posted 10 March 2008 - 07:59 PM

CatherineM - I had DD1 at NSP almost 2 years ago and on the first night the midwife took her to the nursery during the night and they returned her around 6am in the morning. Maybe it depends on the midwife.

I found it quite useful as although I had had an easy birth I was having trouble attaching which was giving me some grief and getting that stretch of sleep was fantastic. I'm not sure I have had a decent stretch like that since.

#8 Obesa cantavit

Posted 10 March 2008 - 09:09 PM

As PP said, all innercity private hospitals in Melbourne have nurseries, except St V's (which will take your baby for you if you want and out them in the treatment room  unsure.gif )  DD1 was an c/s and was taken to the nursery on the first night. I HATED it. I was still hooked to a drip so that was the reason. They brought her to me screaming every 3 hours to feed. It took me half an hour to calm her enought to BF, feed for 1 hr and then it all started again 1.5 hrs later, not much sleep was had. The other 4 nights where she roomed in was a breeze in comparison. DD2 (different hospital) never left my sight from the moment she was born. We had a very restful stay.

So from personal experience I would say, unless you are not bf, then taking baby away is actually more stressful and tiring then having them with you.

#9 umma

Posted 10 March 2008 - 09:15 PM

Both my first two babies were prem and in SCN/NICU, the second one for a whole month.  I cried non-stop because I couldn't have them with me.

#10 alyssatahli

Posted 10 March 2008 - 09:44 PM

I had DD1 in a private hospital with a nursery, and they took her each night for me. I had a c/s under GA and I really loved the chance to get some sleep. We bonded fine.

DD2 was born in a public hospital with no nursery, so she was expected to room in with me. The first night they took her to the nurses station as I had a c/s and was confined to bed. On the second night, I heard her do an almighty cough, it did not sound good at all so I rang the buzzer and tried to get up to her. I was still moving very slowly as I was in quite a bit of pain. Luckily the nurse came in quickly for a change as DD had coughed up some mucus which blocked her airways. The nurse found her black and not breathing, but she was able to get her breathing again. I almost lost her in hospital.  cry1.gif  After that I refused to have her room in with me, I made them take her to the nurses station each night.

So now I am a firm beleiver that newborns should be under constant observation for the first few days until they are over the trauma of birth.

#11 katloucan

Posted 11 March 2008 - 09:50 AM

DS#1 was in SCN for 2 days immediately after birth and I hated it.  I felt depressed about expressing (very hard first time around) and was so relieved when he was ok to be in the room with me.  DS#2 was in room with me from the start and I found bonding straight away was the best thing.  

Even though the nursery for the 1st night can be good for mums that have in particular a caesar, I don't know why any mother would want to start something that will just be harder to adjust when they get home!!!!

In reply though to :
QUOTE
Are there any hospitals anywhere that don't make you have the baby with you 24/7 immediately after the birth?


Not in public hospitals, in Brisbane anyway.

Edited by katloucan, 11 March 2008 - 09:55 AM.


#12 ~Nic~

Posted 11 March 2008 - 11:22 AM

With DS1, I was in labour for 21 hours and he was born at 4.18am, so by the time we got cleaned up and sent off to my room, breakfast showed up, and then the visitors started. DS roomed in with me that night, and was awake on and off most of the night. By night 2, I was absolutley exhausted. The nurse came in to check on me at about 8pm and I was sitting on my bed sobbing my heart out as I was just so tired. She took one look at me, walked out, came back with a consent form for me to sign that gave permission for a comp feed and offered a  sedative (didn't need it). Even though I slept like a log that night (I think I was out for about 10 or 11 hours - most sleep I have ever had!) I still wound up with PND. I don't know that there is any connection between lack of sleep in the first few days and PND. I have always said that the nurse offering to take DS1 for the night was the best thing that could have happened for me in that situation. That said, when DS2 was born (4 hour induced labout mid morning), there isn't a chance I would have let anyone take him away from me for the night (unless it was medically necessary obviously). I just didn't feel like I needed it. Wound up with PND that time as well.

Basically, I don't think that there would be many hospitals that actively encourage bub's staying in the nursery for a couple of nights, but if you ask for it, I guess they would consider it at least.

Nic.

#13 mumtoactivetoddler

Posted 11 March 2008 - 02:45 PM

With DS1 bub was never in with me except for 1 night, he ended up in special care due to a refusal to feed. I never felt it impacted my bond with him, but then we never ever had him in the same room with us when he came home, he always had his own room so it really just started as we continued. Actually my personal suspicion is that it encouraged him to learn to sleep because he had to yell loudly to get fed in the middle of the night and so he learnt early that minor grumbles didn't get you fed, full blown yells got you food. Personally I think thats why he learnt to put himself back off to sleep easily. Don't get me wrong his needs were always attended to but sometimes he had  to make a bit of noise to wake 2 sleep deprived parents (made worse by I had to express and hubbie bottle fed him for 12 weeks) and so it took ages each time.

Going in tomorrow night for induction, wouldn't hesitate to use the nursery again but am hoping we don't need special care.

#14 mumofruby

Posted 11 March 2008 - 06:15 PM

Hi

When I had DD2 I had the option of the baby going to the nursery at night. I did take advantage of this option for a few of the nights - mainly because she was a noisy sleeper and I felt it was better for me to get rest so i could concentrate on feeding. DD2 was taken about midnight and she was brought back for feeds.

In my opinion this did not affect "bonding". To those who think this may not be what happens at home.. it is in my house. DD2 sleeps in her own room and when she cries I get up and feed her. I do not have to have a baby sleeping right next to me to bond with her.

#15 ilovecream

Posted 12 March 2008 - 12:23 PM

QUOTE
reduce PND


I must be one of the rare ones that don't react well to going more than 24 hours without sleep cos all baby wants to do is treat you like a human dummy! wacko.gif

So I got pnd with ds1 and i attribute it largely to the "Great" experience of having baby right next to me 24 hours a day.Instead of bonding it made me almost resent baby.

Was not really 'happy' this time either.  They had put 'pnd risk?' on my file ... well no sh*t how happy would you be with no sleep?

Edited by BoyMumBoy, 12 March 2008 - 12:26 PM.


#16 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 12 March 2008 - 12:42 PM

My hospital didn't have a nursery as such but they did take babies for C/S mums (Brisbane). DD was taken for 3 nights and I hated it. I worried that she was okay being away from me and didn't sleep much. It did affect bonding. She cried most of the time she was in the nursery. Clearly didn't like being separated from the only thing she knew for 9 months and I don't blame her.

After the 3rd night a nasty midwife brought dd back and said she was the worst behaved baby in the nursery. I was horrified and it really upset me. sad.gif  She also told me that my baby was starving and I needed to feed her every 3 hours. (not a good thing to say to a new mum). After that dd never left my side. This time around my baby is not going to the nursery if I can help it. Even if I have another C/S.

I had PND and lack of sleep in the first few days contributed to it. Yes mums do need rest but there is a lot more that causes PND than rooming in with the baby. If anything having my baby taken away from me made things worse.

Edited by Princess.cranky.pants, 12 March 2008 - 03:25 PM.


#17 Grobanite

Posted 12 March 2008 - 03:06 PM

While I can understand some women's needs to have their babies in the nursery while they get rest I beleive the sooner you learn to have broken sleep the better.
My DS1 was born 6 weeks early and was in the SCN for 3 weeks. I didn't have him with me in Hospital and I didn't have him home for that time either. It was horrible not having my baby with me and it was even harder to adjust to sleep once I had him home with me. I would have given anything to have him with me in the Hospital.

However everyone has their own preference. Maybe talk to the midwifes about it. I was in the Mater Private in Brisbane and I know they beleive in having baby in the room with you.

QUOTE
So now I am a firm beleiver that newborns should be under constant observation for the first few days until they are over the trauma of birth.

I would have thought that what mothers were for, but I can also see the difficulty after having a CS

#18 brissymama

Posted 12 March 2008 - 04:01 PM

i must be mistaken, i thought this was a place you could talk about how you feel without being intimidated or made to feel incompendent...

pnd is rough - it is not a choice, having a child can be rough, please don't make other people feel guilty or wrong in saying how they feel or what they need... because they are not like you, it is choice, its venting, its being honest..

if you feel you need a break, ask!
if you don't, good for you!
if you have your child in the nursery or out, does not make you a bad mother.

H

#19 Grobanite

Posted 12 March 2008 - 04:11 PM

QUOTE
Expecting to have your baby in the nursery overnight everyday you're in hospital sets you up for a shock for when you get home when there's no nursery to send baby to.

I totally agree with this. My DS didn't sleep through the night until he was 2yrs old.

I agree that if you are having trouble while in Hospital ask thats what the midwives are there for. And using the nursery doesn't make you a bad mother.

I would however like to suggest that having baby next to you can help you weed out any problems you are having and get them dealt with while in Hospital rather than having the baby in the nursery and only realising problem (what ever they  may be) when you get home where you have no help.

Edited by chillagoemum, 12 March 2008 - 04:11 PM.


#20 skylight

Posted 12 March 2008 - 04:28 PM

I would like to just add that in the first couple of days after the birth (whether cs or vaginal) you need to be resting and letting your body start to recover.

Sleep is so important to your physical rocovery as well as your mental well-being, so if you need you bub in the nursery for a couple of nights I think that is OK.

Of course I think everyone recognises this won't be there when you go home, but most people have got past the first 48 hours after the birth by the time they go home.

There is no right answer, just play it by ear. original.gif

Take care,
Skylight.

#21 ~centa*of*attention~

Posted 12 March 2008 - 04:49 PM

I think that the rooming in is important to the bonding experience of mum and bub.  But I also think it is important to have the opportunity to have your baby taken to a nursery if you are not coping well.

There is no way I could have had my baby taken away from me, yet there was a lady in the same room as me, and she had hers taken to the nursery for a night, as he just would not stop crying.  It not only gave her a bit of sleep, but me too (I was lucky and had a quiet bub).

Saying that, I did have Raistlin taken away for a couple of hours as I got VERY sick and was unable to attend to him.  I hated every moment of it.

#22 chaletgirl

Posted 12 March 2008 - 06:05 PM

I'd love to know if the people who think like this:

QUOTE
I don't know why any mother would want to start something that will just be harder to adjust when they get home!!!!


laboured overnight!!

Starting life as a mother already missing a whole night's sleep and having, er "LABOURED" all night is a very different story than just being a little precious about getting some sleep before you go home.

QUOTE
I beleive the sooner you learn to have broken sleep the better.


For some women, we are not talking about just a broken night's sleep. We are talking about being seriously sleep deprived and absolutely exhausted before that baby takes it's first breath.

#23 Shellby

Posted 12 March 2008 - 09:01 PM

With my first I didn't have a choice, I was setup for rooming in but after 15 hours they discovered he was sick and we were transferred to Brisbane ICN, so didn't have him with me at all - however got to catch up on alot of sleep.

With my second, the first night (had him at 7pm) I couldn't sleep, was so excited with my little man plus worried he would be taken away from me again like my first and wanted as much time as I could get.

Then I was transferred to the private hospital the next morning. I happily let them take him for the next 2 nights from about 9pm to 9am - I love sleep and was dealing with a 18m at home who still didn't sleep through the night so it was much needed catchup. However they had a rule only for the 1st 2 nights, so then I spent the next 2 with him, as I had caught up on sleep I found it much easier getting up for him and feeding - I loved it!

However didn't stop PND however.

Next time I will using the nursey if I feel I need to, this hospital here does that and is public.

#24 Mama-of-two

Posted 12 March 2008 - 09:02 PM

I had both of my babies in the same private hospital.  They had a nursery there.

First baby was vaginal birth, second baby was a c/s.

Both times they asked/offered to take my babies to the nursery for me to get some sleep but I declined.

I am the sort of person where I would worry even more if they weren't next to me and wouldn't get a wink of sleep if there were elsewhere.

That's just me  original.gif

#25 Obesa cantavit

Posted 12 March 2008 - 09:08 PM

QUOTE
I'd love to know if the people who think like this:

QUOTE
I don't know why any mother would want to start something that will just be harder to adjust when they get home!!!!


laboured overnight!!


Not that I expressed that view exactly but yes, I laboured for 26 hrs and was awake all up for 48 hrs before it was "bed time" again  grin.gif




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