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July 02 Parents # 72


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#26 Nerual

Posted 09 March 2009 - 10:41 AM

HI girls, (OMG!- I didn't realise i'd write so much....no work on & rainy weather...)

I'm going really well. My dad resumes his work today as there really isn't anything he can do & he's not one to get down & negative. He likes to be busy.

We are receiving some nice wet, though windy weather today thanks to the cyclone in central QLD. The wind was howling all night & the rain has just kicked in. Supposed to be wet for the rest of the week. Dh is off to Adelaide tomorrow & is keeping an eye on the cyclone as he was worried it may affect us while he's away. But the intensity of the system is supposed to reduce today so hopefully we'll just have the wind & rain. We live 20 mins south of the last town put on cyclone watch.

This year is Zane's 3rd year of fulltime schooling. As his birthday is mid-June, he made the cut off date for starting school by 17 days. I do see a big developmental difference between girls & boys at school but quite a few boys have caught the girls now, slowly evening out the ratio. My boys attend a public school, & in the 2 schools Zane's attended, i've only praise for how the variety of learning ability is addressed. Mind you Zane is of average to above average standard so I can't say weather or not the 'slow starters' are left behind or not. Personality differences do show through though. Z is a quiet, placid child & often goes unnoticed whereas the 'spirited' child is often rewared for good behaivour/effort. He's put amongest the disruptive children as a good influence so the pressure on him is pretty high. No doubt this is a strategy used in any school.

I'm involved in the Yr 2 reading groups & their nightly home readers, and have noticed that there isn't just a differnce in genders anymore, there is a widening difference in the same gender as there are many girls this year that haven't really progressed so far where as alot of the boys are moving ahead. So maybe in that first year to 2 years the learning maturity is miles apart, but I think the gap closes quite quickly.

I have noticed in Nate's prep year that some of the children haven't barely picked up a pencil. 1 boy did his first ever drawing (aparantely!) holding his pen in a fist & scribbling but with gentle guidance, he learnt to adjust it & kept going. & when they are sending home the hoards of artwork, it's primarily the girls work as the boys are busy building/inventing. But the underlying developmental work in building towers & painting pictures is creating progress in each child in differing learning areas which aides in bridging the gap in a couple of years down the track. Its more the maturity that differs i think.

Narelle, your nephew probably could benefit just from a change in class. I don't think all teachers have it in them to accomodate all personalities of children, sometimes ridiculing & coming down on a child who with a varied teaching/discipline method, could thrive. But teaching resources are mostly stretched so its so hard to give the children the time they really need. AS for if its too late, the end of the year may be too long to wait. For the minor disruption of change now, which is doesn't sound like he'll go through much given his dislike of the current school, they'd be best changing him ASAP. Why go though it for the remainder of the year. With the not eating, i'm not sure.  He probably needs to be included in the lunchbox decisions & given 2 healthy choices to choose between & some sort of a reward system in place for eating.

That's it for me. Think i've written enough. I worked last week but don't have anything today. But I need to spend some time developing a template & this weather is perfect for spending hours on the computer.

Savanna, thinking of you & hope you are coping OK.

Take care all
Lauren

#27 EsmeLennox

Posted 09 March 2009 - 11:14 AM

QUOTE
Maybe your nephew needs another school that caters better for boys?
What is your view on this as a teacher?


Thanks for your thoughts girls. Yes, I wish they would just make a decision now. However, hte other school they are thinking of is Iona (A girls' school that takes boys to year 4), which I think is crazy! However, my nephew has a friend who has gone there this year, and I think that's the motivation, but I really do not think this arrangement would suit my nephew!

Len, I am generally not a big fan of single-sex schools, however I am a fan of catering to learning styles and would personally love to see single sex classes for some parts of the curriculum. Having said that, you can cater to different learning styles within a mixed classroom quite effectively. I used to play grammar/spelling basketball with boys - one of the few ways to get them motivated about learning spelling and grammar!

However, it does become difficult in the early years I think when there is quite a lot of basic learning and rote learning to be done.

I don't really know if in my nephew's case whether it is a case of the school not catering at all for different learning styles, but certainly, he is a boy who doesn't have a great attention span and finds it hard to sit still, find it hard to socialise with a variety of children etc. I have, TBH, often wondered if there is some underlying issues with him, and am not wholly surprised that there are issues with school. There were also problems last year in pre-primary, so I don't think it's entirely the problem of the school, but I don't think many of the practices at the school are right for him. shrug.gif Not sure whether to stick my bib in really. I have certainly said that I think they need to move him to another school, in fact we had a long conversation about it over the holidays, but I think they are hoping things will settle down.

Who knows, I guess it is for them to sort out, hopefully before too much damage is done. Despite the behavioural issues, he is a very bright child, so hopefully that will go in his favour.

#28 Gin and Tonic

Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:09 PM

I havent heard great things about Iona for boys.  My girlfriend had her daughter there, and had planned for her son to go there too but changed her mind after seeing it in action for a year and went public instead.  Most of the boys leave so the classes arent gender balanced.  I reckon it would be the same as G's school as far as catering to boys' learning styles.   As you say, anyone can cater for all learning styles, but if a school is only bothering to look at the spectrum for girls then a boy on the "extreme" end of the spectrum for boys would miss out.

Where do they live?  St Thomas' in Claremont or Loreto in Nedlands would be much better as they are proper co-ed schools and they are only a few suburbs away.  

I would think carefully before giving advice if I was you, unless you were asked.  No one likes to hear "criticism" of their child, especially not from friends or relatives, no matter how well meaning you are.  It is much better coming from strangers.

Also if there was a learning difficulty wouldnt the school be identifying this and recommending that he be tested?  Surely a decent year 1 teacher would be looking for these kinds of issues in their first year of school?  Isnt there a state screening programme? I am sure my guys have been tested and a few kids in their classes have had things identified like needing glasses, grommets, speech pathology, OT and the like.

It's all so hard, the poor little guy. I hope they try and do something soon.  Your first year of school should be so much fun, what a shame he isnt enjoying it.  I bet he would love spelling basketball!  That was such a great idea.

#29 Juzz

Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:20 PM

QUOTE
Also if there was a learning difficulty wouldnt the school be identifying this and recommending that he be tested? Surely a decent year 1 teacher would be looking for these kinds of issues in their first year of school?


Just wanted to add my experience - Mitchell's at a public school, but his Prep teacher (last year) approached me after the 1/2 day Orientation to Prep session which took place in the December prior to him starting school, to ask if we were aware Mitchell might have issues... sad.gif  While I appreciated her input and was able to say we were "onto it", it was a little confronting when she'd only been exposed to him for a few hours oomg2.gif

#30 EsmeLennox

Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:26 PM

QUOTE
but if a school is only bothering to look at the spectrum for girls then a boy on the "extreme" end of the spectrum for boys would miss out.


Oh yeah, totally agree, and at the end of the day the core business of a single sex school is the predominant sex they cater for. I wouldn't necessarily expect a single sex school to cater for the opposite sex at all, IYKWIM, which is why I find it surprising that people do put their boys in a girls' school up to year 4. I don't know of any boys' schools who take girls up until a certain age. there may be, but I certainly don't know of them. For us too, we are very big on co-ed school because we're an all boy household.

They live in East Freo. As for giving advice, I never give it unless asked, which unfortuantely they do ask quite a bit! But I actually wish I'd said more when I saw them last week now! I wouldn't criticise his behaviour at all, I would be couching the advice in the terms of needing to find a better school. Frankly (and I'm only going on what they have told me about their expereinces with the school last year and this year) I'm not sure just how well learning/behavioural issues would be picked up. From what they say, it seems to be a pretty disorganised school.

We were actually at nephew's b'day party last week, and TBH, if the kids that were there are any indication of the school and the parenting in that area, I'm damned glad I don't live there, regardless of how expensive the real estate is!

QUOTE
Isnt there a state screening programme?


Yes, they have a health check in kindy and pre-primary I think, which primarily focuses on vision, hearing, motor skills etc. Frankly, I would not hold my breath for those checks to pick up anything else that is less mechanical and more neurological.

QUOTE
Your first year of school should be so much fun, what a shame he isnt enjoying it.


Absolutely. That's what is the most worrying thing I think. If he sets up a pattern of hating school now, what hope has he got in future?

#31 ~brighteyes~

Posted 09 March 2009 - 05:42 PM

Did heaps of packing on the weekend...but there is still so much to do. Dad helped Ray dig up my fruit trees and took those up yesterday.

Also having major computer problems...desktop computer got a major case of trojan viruses...still trying to get it fixed.

aleisha is looking forward to the move (although thinks the packing part is boring). I think her getting sick has just been the weather, and the fact we live in a bowl type suburb where the pollution collects in the air. Up at mum's in the mountains will probably be good for both of us.

Savanna

#32 Nerual

Posted 09 March 2009 - 08:06 PM

Interesting to read about the schooling. I just hope they get him enjoying school. I've many happy memories of both primary & secondary school.

I tried to get on top of my digital photos today. I just save all my shots onto my PC & in the past, as i've accumulated them (say 100 or so) I have them printed via online ordering & seperate them into the albums we have.

But now i'm wondering if I should just order photobooks of only 'nice' photos of various occasions, or continue getting them printed & filling the albums i buy....What do you guys do? I'm about 3 years behind! oomg2.gif  oomg.gif

Lauren

#33 Gin and Tonic

Posted 09 March 2009 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE
I don't know of any boys' schools who take girls up until a certain age. there may be, but I certainly don't know of them.


When I was at Penrhos our brother school Wesley introduced girls in the junior school.  There were a few girls in each year but one by one they mostly ended up coming to our school.  I was young then so I dont know the actual reasons they left but I think it was probably for the reasons we have been talking about.  Funnily enough it was girls with twin brothers that seemed to go there. There was even a girl triplet with two brothers (which would have been a natural triplet so they were a bit of a novelty on our shared bus!).  I dont know if they still have girls, I dont think the experiment worked very well, but that was the 1970s and early 80s so who knows?

From East Freo I would be going to All Saints for a co-ed private school if that is the way they are thinking.  I have a few girlfriends who send their kids there from East Freo and Applecross and they think it is fabulous.  I also have a friend who really likes Bicton Primary school too.  They could possibly get in there being right next door?  The school is on the East Freo/Bicton border.  That is my old stomping ground as a wayward teenager.

Apologies to everyone else for the Perth talk.

Talking of old stomping grounds, my parents are thinking of selling the house that I grew up in.  I have been convincing them to do that to move closer to my sister and I for years, but now that Dad is finally across the line and wants to move I am suddenly feeling really sad about it.  I live on the other side of perth now, and wouldnt have any reason to go over there if it wasnt to see them, but I absolutely love it where they live and I am feeling a bit sad about someone else sleeping in my old room.  Mum restored it back to how I had it when I was 12 after I moved out and G and T sleep in it when they stay over.  I am not sure how I feel about seeing another family in our house? Mum and Dad built it in the early 70s so I pretty much lived my whole life there.  Am I being a big sooky baby?  I suspect that I am.

#34 ~brighteyes~

Posted 10 March 2009 - 12:45 PM

I would be sad if my parent's sold their house we grew up in. Mum even offered if I can't get a place, that they would sell and come and buy something with me closer to my work...and that just brings me to tears.

So you're not alone in that aspect.

I'm home sick again today. Aching arms that have me in tears at times from the pain and the panadeine hasn't helped. Thinking might need to see my GP as it could be neuralgia.

Savanna

#35 Nerual

Posted 10 March 2009 - 08:58 PM

Oh Savanna, that doesn't sound good love. i hope you can get some relief ASAP.

Take care, Lauren

#36 ~brighteyes~

Posted 11 March 2009 - 03:50 PM

Well took myself to doctor's this morning. Feeling rather upset as Ray acts as if I'm putting it all on and should just get over the pain  rant.gif Felt like hitting him over the head saying not everyone's as stupid as him and refuses to take time off when they are sick, so stop making me feel worse by mumbling under your breath about it.

Doctor took 3 lots of blood for tests and urine sample as well, after telling him about the aches and being off work. He's given me tomorrow off work and gets the results back Friday (if still not well) or Saturday if I am. He's also giving me a flu shot then.

Than came home and slept most of the day with whole body aching. So it could be flu I guess, though usually panadeine works with that for me. But I feel relieved that there is something wrong enough for him to do tests.

Savanna

#37 Juzz

Posted 11 March 2009 - 05:03 PM

Hi all,

At least the Doctor is obviously taking you seriously Savanna - I hope it is only flu and nothing more for you to worry about as you've already got enough on your plate!  Try to ignore Ray and his mutterings aannoyed.gif - in my experience, if Grae is sick, he expects all the sympathy in the world, is sicker than I could ever possibly be, etc. etc.  If I'm sick, I'm either putting it on, exaggerating or similar and am given no sympathy and no concessions nno.gif

Len - no lovey, you are not being sooky IMHO! My Mum sold the family home (the only family home we'd had since coming to Aus in '81) not long after Mitchell came along, but as my parents had spent the previous couple of years gradually doing up bits and pieces with the intention of selling, when Dad died, selling ASAP was all Mum wanted and while I had a few pangs, it was a kind of closure...

Will hopefully BBL original.gif

#38 EsmeLennox

Posted 11 March 2009 - 07:14 PM

Hi girls

Savanna, hope you are soon feeling better.  rant.gif about Ray.

Len, nope, I don't think you're being sooky either. I felt a few pangs when Mum sold our 'family home' in Victoria, even though I hadn't lived there for probably 12 years at that stage!  roll2.gif

Jeremy is having his circumcision tomorrow. Bit of a bummer that his surgery is not until 4pm. So he gets to eat until 9.30am, and can have drinks until 1pm, but I expect it's going to be a loooong day! Just hope it all goes OK and he copes alright afterwards. Had to laugh today, we were having a chat about it and talking about what was going to happen etc. I asked him if he'd told his friends, he said that he had told them he was having an opeartion but on his foot!  laugh.gif He said he wanted to keep the bit about his willy a secret, which is fair enough. I told him that I understood why he had said that, but had he thought of what he would tell his friends afterwards if they wanted to see his foot? He goes (with a smack to the forehead for extra effect) 'oh no, I didn't'. About half an hour later he goes, 'I know I'll just tell them that all the red marks have gone away'.

Poor kid, I don't blame him, I wouldn't have tol dthem I was having an op on my privates either!

#39 Nerual

Posted 11 March 2009 - 09:13 PM

LOL Narelle.

Good luck with tomorrow & I hope Jem heals well & fast. I feel for both him & you. Hope it is a straight forward procedure.

Len, your parents house was yours too so of course you'd feel it. I never felt truely at home after both my parents & DH's parents sold their long term family homes after we'd already moved out, & moved into their new places. I guess once you move out, its moving into a new phase & leaving history behind...though not the memories of course....there's the sliding door with height measurements, the patch where my sister kicked a hole in the wall in a flying rage (LOL), the green carpet, the feral brown swirling carpet (at the in laws!), the pool, ....

Savanna, rest up & hope you get results & feel well again soon.

L

#40 Gin and Tonic

Posted 11 March 2009 - 10:43 PM

Thanks Everyone- I felt like I was being a bit silly.

The funny thing is the house looks nothing like the house I lived in anymore.  It was your typical 1970s 2 story mission brown clinker brick house with brown quarry tiles and shag pile carpet and brown feature brick interior.  my parents renovated it when G was a baby so there is no hint of the 1970s anymore, except for upstairs bedrooms and bathroom which were pretty much unchanged.  so while the house looks nothing like my memories, my bedroom is still exactly the same. (except for the Marky Mark Calvin Klein poster I had, she got rid of that as soon as I moved out!).

Narelle, good luck for Jem tomorrow.  I wouldnt be telling anyone about the surgery if I was him either, poor little sweety.

Savanna, I hope you are feeling better.

New question.  How protective are you?  I am wondering if I am over protective. Most of the mums at school are your typical over educated, over exercised, SAHMs who worry about every little detail of their children's lives.  Yet today I had a weird experience that I am not sure if I am just over protective or the family in question is a bit crazy.

I had a loose arrangement last week that I would organise a play this week for a friend of G's at our place today.  The mother couldnt give me her phone number or mobile (claims she doesnt know them- WTF?) so I thought we would bump into each other at drop off or she would call me to confirm the arrangments.  I havent seen her all week, she hasnt called me, and she doesnt know my address, we havent sorted out what time she will come and pick her up.  So I assume it is not on.

I go to pick up the kids today and G gets in the car and said that L thinks she is coming home with us today.  So the teacher checks the diary (where parents are supposed to write in pick up arrangements if they go home with someone else), nothing there.  Then she says that her mummy is away and her daddy told her she was coming home with me.  WTF?  So I do the right thing and take her home to check that he isnt frantic and he doesnt even come to the front gate.  He talks to me through the intercom- yes she is going to Gs house.  he has never met me, doesnt ask where I live, doesnt even bother to come and meet me.  Again WTF?  So I take them to the park for an hour and take her home again.  Get there and he doesnt even come out to see me, just "buzzes" her through the front gate.

Is that bizzare behaviour or am I just raising cottonwool kids?  I always like to drop kids off or pick them up to checkout where they live if the kids are going to be spending extended time there.  I have clear arrangments for picking up so there is no confusion, especially from school.  I would tell the teacher and write it in the diary.  And I would call and double check the arrangment on the day and make sure they had all my contact details.

Ok- so I might be a bit over the top.  
What do you guys do for after school plays?

#41 Nerual

Posted 12 March 2009 - 10:50 AM

Nope, its not you Len. I'd have to say it's the other family who is weird. But in the same breath, i guess it depends on where you live (ie city vs country). Country towns (IMO) everyone knows everyone & loose arrangements are probably fine in that situation, but in the city, where population is higher & like your situation, you don't know the family, they don't know you & especially since you haven't exchanged contact details, then I too would assume that it wasn't happening. I wouldn't even feel comfortale taking the child from school...but lucky you did.

I think that some people put too much on their young children & forget how young they really are & how easily things can go wrong. We need to be protective. There are too many scary outcomes if we're not.

I think we have to transition our children into the next phase, but the parents of this child should have confirmed & exchanged details at least by phone.

ETA, since moving, I haven't hosted an after school play as most of the children live close to the school, whereas i'm a 15-20min drive away & i don't want to put the parents out. Where they've come/gone to a fri afternoon play & slept over, its only been with the friends whos parents i've befriended & we tend to still drop off & stay for a drink (last time dinner too!) or a coffee the next day. We turned down a sleep over the weekend just gone as i've never heard of Z playing with this child, nor do i know the parents too well other than greeting at school. I just wasn't comfortable...over protective??? original.gif

Narelle, thinking of you. Nerve wracking being a procedure late in the day.

After I dropped my boys off today, I came home & took my dog for a walk to the beach. I haven't been lately cos of the cyclone weather, but so far today there is some blue sky coming through. The surf was rough, beaches are closed for swimming & the wind is still howling. But the awful thing was that there was an oil spill into the waters off Brisbane & there is oil on our beach today. We are 1 3/4 hrs north. My dog, a border collie with white paws, has oil on his paws, under belly & around his nose. Water isn't washing it off him so i'll have to try & soap it off. Poor thing. The smell of oil wouldn't be nice.

DH is away ATM, back on Sunday afternoon. I really hate it when his trips away include the weekend. WE are supposed to be having some of his family up this weekend as his brother & wife & I all have birthdays early next week, & his sister is over on holidays from Dubai (she's a flighty with Emrites). So at least we'll have visitors to keep us company.

OK, i better try to wash my dog again.

Lauren

Edited by 123youknowme, 12 March 2009 - 10:56 AM.


#42 ~brighteyes~

Posted 12 March 2009 - 11:50 AM

lauren - hope the dog some clean  wacko.gif Those white poors can be a bugger with cut grass, let along oil. Reminds me I need to wash our border collie again...she only had a bath Sunday and already stinks. Must have found something good to roll in.

I'm feeling better today...not so much body aches, as head aching now, so think I should be right for the half day tomorrow (leaving in my RFF time of the afternoon to take Aleisha to new school for interview cool.gif ). I'm actually up on the computer as I can't seem to sleep anymore...or maybe it's just the headache.

With the after school play...I'm not too sure on it, as normally I'm working back too late for us to do anything. She does go to one friend's on the weekend at times, but I've met her mum, know she's like me and trust the situation. Wouldn't let her go to anyone's place where I hadn't at least laid eyes on the parent. I'm a bit the same with birthday parties, don't like to leave until I've met the parent and feel comfortable about it.

Cheers,
Savanna

#43 Juzz

Posted 12 March 2009 - 01:23 PM

Hey all,

Lauren - you probably need to get the oil off ASAP so he doesn't try licking himself clean and ingest some of it oomg2.gif Perhaps ring the local vet for suggestions on how to get it off - if its all over the local beaches, you'll surely not be the only one with an oily dog! How annoying for you.

Savanna - very glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today original.gif

Len - that is totally bizarre behaviour IMHO oomg.gif mind you, I'm in no position to comment as I'm a little embarrassed (and a lot sad) to admit Mitchell (to the best of my knowledge) has never been invited for an after school play date or sleepover nno.gif This situation is no doubt partly because my Mum collects him from school every day and is a good 20 mins drive from the school and also because I work full-time and don't have much interaction with the other parents/Mums, but I think it's mainly because of the way Mitchell is... Anyways, to answer your question, I was totally horrified to read your scenario - I know I'm very overprotective of Mitchy - and Grae never misses an opportunity to point it out - but I can't help myself as he's the only one I've got and it's an ugly world out there!!

Narelle - I hope you are not having too hard a time keeping Jeremy going in starvation mode and also hope the Op goes well original.gif  ROFLMAO at Jeremy's plan to avoid telling his mates the whole truth - so cute!

Well I had better run, I'm at work and actually have a bit on, so must get back to it.

Take care all,

#44 EsmeLennox

Posted 12 March 2009 - 11:23 PM

Nope, Len you are not weird. The other parents are the freaks! I don't think it is remotely over-protective to want to actually meet the parent you are leaving your child with! Whenever Jeremy has a play date it's organised with the parent, and usually involves the mums having a cuppa at drop off or pick up. I would find it really unusual to have a parent behave like that.

Jem's op went really well today. He was absolutely fine with not eating, and coped with that really well. Had a bit of a meltdown when we were waiting in the pre-op area. He was just really frightened, but we read some stories etc and he got it together. Then the surgeon came along and had a chat and the anaesthetist came and checked him over and did some cool magic tricks! He was awesome. He really relaxed Jeremy. Then into theatre and off to sleep. When I went into recovery he was sitting up eating an icypole! Stayed at the hospital for a couple of hours after that. He's had a bit of pain, but pain meds and local anaesthetic cream has helped with this. Had trouble getting him to do a wee, he was scared to go, but then when he did he was really impressed with the way he now wees! He said to me when he went to bed that it didn't hurt to wee at all, and that it had always hurt before, he just thought that that's what happened when you did a wee - it hurt. I had no idea that he had pain every time he weed. He thought it was normal, so despite it being sore, he's very happy he had it done.

Anyway, better go get some shut eye.

#45 Nerual

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:03 AM

Oh Nareele, i'm so pleased to hear that the procedure went well. I hope Jem continues to recover well with limited discomfort.

#46 PetaFL

Posted 13 March 2009 - 11:36 AM

Narelle - that's great about Jeremy doing okay after his op. Poor guy - can't imagine what it was like always being painful to use the loo. How did he ever toilet train! Hope that he is going well today.

Len - totally don't think you're weird. Very surprising that these parents didn't at least meet you face-to-face for 5 mins... we're living in a SOCIETY after all! Not to mention the absolute disregard for their daughter's safety. I always battle with the "am I being over-protective" question... usually has to do with my kids playing outside unsupervised, and with the neighbours' kids... particularly being on the river etc.. I have to admit that most of Charlotte's arranged play times are with family friends - she hasn't been to a school friend's place who's family I don't know yet. Part of this is related to me working but also because she has lots of family friends with whom it is easy to link her up with. But I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Gotta run to bed!

Take care everyone,

Peta

#47 Gin and Tonic

Posted 13 March 2009 - 02:34 PM

Narelle so great to hear that Jems op went well.  The poor little bugger, cant believe it hurt him his whole life to do a wee.  What was the reason again?  

Peta, I just read an article that mentioned a quote by a "social commentator" Paul F(dont want to put your last name on the WWW).  Is he related to you?

Finally got myself to yoga this morning, for the first time in about 3 years.  Feeling ok now, but will probably pay for it in the morning.

#48 EsmeLennox

Posted 13 March 2009 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE
What was the reason again?


Phimosis - aka a really tight foreskin! I can't believe it hurt him to wee all this time either. He has never once said it hurt to wee - ever! He obviously just thought that's how it was. We knew it was tight and that it was something that needed looking at, but we were always told as long as it wasn't causing problems/pain to leave it alone until he was older. As it was, we did not know it was causing him pain. He never cried or got upset when urinating, so I don't think the pain can have been *that* bad, but he has obviously noticed a difference. The reason we had it done now is because he started having trouble with his wee 'spraying' everywhere, which wasn't pleasant for him (or me, cleaning the toilet 10 times a day) and then he started complaining that it hurt when he got an erection. The surgeon did say yesterday he actually had trouble getting the foreskin off it was so tight, and it required a number of vertical incisions, as opposed to the one or two he usually does before removing is behind the head of the penis. God, if I'd known though that he was experiencing discomfort all that time I would have had it done years ago!  sad.gif Believe me it's something I raised numerous times with different doctors, but they all said to leave it be, and we of course tried the cortisone treatment several times, which didn't work.

I do feel terrible that we didn't get it done sooner now, but we just didn't know! I mean Jeremy was as shocked as we were I think!

#49 Gin and Tonic

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:26 PM

Just another reason to beat yourself up, as if there isnt enough of those!  

I can understand the situation though, if you never knew any different and have nothing to compare it to, how would you know something was wrong?  The poor little man.

G had an endoscopy early last year that showed up nothing and I felt guilty about that because she had a general anaesthetic for no reason.  DH thought we shouldnt do it, but there was no way of telling whether she was in pain from her reflux because she had it since she was born and had nothing to compare it to.  I still feel guilty about that, so we mums manage to find something to beat ourselves up about no matter which way we go.

#50 Juzz

Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:22 PM

Narelle I'm so glad J's Op went well and things are looking good (so to speak) post Op biggrin.gif Len's right though, he never knew any different without some point of comparison, which he now has... you weren't to know!  Did he ever many the discomfort to his father?

QUOTE
we mums manage to find something to beat ourselves up about no matter which way we go


Ain't that the truth!  I could make a very long list of "somethings" roll2.gif




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