Jump to content

New to AC
Anyone else a First timer?

  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 Mumtini

Posted 27 August 2009 - 07:08 AM

As the title says, I am new to the world of AC.

Child and PG mentioned

I feel like a bit of a fake, I was lucky enough to conceive DD to plan, but #2 is not so easy.  We have been TTC#2 for almost 18 months, lost 2, 3 rounds of IUI and now we are due to start IVF.  I don't feel like I 'qualify' to be in the AC club but I can in no way relate to 'normal' TTCers.  I lurk in here a fair bit but post rarely - scared of saying the wrong thing and offending other posters.

I guess I just want to hear from someone else who is new to AC but TTC#234 etc, surely I am not alone......................

Edited by Mumtini, 28 September 2009 - 06:20 AM.

#2 batgirl

Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:11 AM

You are definately not alone! Although I used AC all along you will find that there are, unfortunately, many people who are going through what you are. It's called Secondary infertility.

I'm sure some other people in your boat will pop in shortly.

#3 JR'sMum

Posted 28 August 2009 - 04:02 PM

Hi Mumtini,

We have just completed our second cycle of IVF/ICSI TTC # 2. We conceived DD #1 naturally, however my DH then sustained a serious injury which left him a quadriplegic meaning we can no longer conceive naturally, hence the need for IVF.

If youre doing AC then I dont see why you should feel nervous about posting here - we all need help and support through this emotional rollercoaster. I do think it was a great idea that EB have split the AC forum into primary and secondary infertility sections as each group can share the experiences and emotions pertaining to their circumstances.  

Best of luck with your first IVF cycle, I hope it all goes well.


#4 Mumtini

Posted 28 August 2009 - 05:03 PM

Thanks Ladies,

I know I am just being silly torturing myself with these feelings of not belonging but I honestly never thought this would be where we ended up.  But then I guess no one ever does.....

Thanks for the support I will try and lurk less and post more original.gif


Edited by Mumtini, 28 September 2009 - 06:20 AM.

#5 sjl

Posted 28 August 2009 - 10:15 PM

hi mel

preg/child mentioned

i'm another one with secondary infertility.  we conceived our DS after 10months naturally but unfortunately its been 2.5 yrs of trying for another.  after countless months of clomid, 3 iuis, a full ivf cycle and just this week a failed FET i'm over it and wonder where i belong too!

its definately better having the two sections as i for one would never feel comfortable writing this in the first section where others' don't even have the blessing of one child but for me this is a pretty big emotional rollercoaster ride too.  

best of luck with adding to your family and i hope the experience is a short one.

#6 atomicelectric

Posted 31 August 2009 - 08:02 PM

Where's the emoticon for letting out a big sigh? whoosh original.gif  What a relief to finally find somewhere on EB that I can talk about the past 18 months+.  Yay.

A bit about me: I am 30, my DH is 51. We have 1 DD together, conceived naturally after 11 cycles (turning 4 in OCT). We have no known fertility issues  = unexplained secondary infertility.

Currently: I had a heap of bloods done today. Going in for the Hysterosalpingogram this Thursday and an intro session at the clinic tomorrow. DH had a SA done last week (don't know results until next FS appt). He had one in 2004 when we were TTCing DD, which came back excellent. Fingers crossed nothing has changed since then. Um, was on clomid 1st half of this year and no BFP, so done with that and onto next step - IUI. Do not know any dets as to what drugs I will be on etc.

Mumtini - you are not alone and not a fake! I certainly have never felt fake in my grief and sadness over being SIFer. I guess because all my friends have never had trouble conceiving and so I am the odd one out. Feel free to vent!lol.  I have to deal with my SIF every week I meet with my Mother's group, all (9) who have had their 2nd child and some their 3rd. We all first met when our firstborns were about 2-3months old or still inutero! I have never felt so left behind in all my life! Continuously going through the pregnancy journey each time 1 of them fell and then holding their precious newborns wondering when it will be my turn next:(

I know I have not been trying as long as others or had to do IVF for DD, but I dont feel like I "have all the time in the world". I worry that DD was it, that we got lucky somehow, but that we wont be able to conceive again. I try not to think of that too much otherwise I get so sad, 1 is not enough for me. To think that I'll never be pregnant again, never hold my newborn.....it's not helpful! lol.  And I don't want to be told that I still have time! grrr

I have never posted in the AC section, never felt like I belonged there (not yet anyway). And I guess I really thought the clomid would work.lol. wat a joke that was. So I never attached myself anywhere. But I'm about to head into proper AC territory and I need ppl to talk to about that are on the same journey.

thanks for reading.lol  hheart.gif

#7 Mumtini

Posted 31 August 2009 - 08:36 PM

Hoorah Hoorah!!!  Thanks so  much for your replies.  I feel so much better knowing that I am not the only one.  

GS, I feel your pain with MG, my MG ladies are great but it is hard to share in their joy when I am so pained, my group is very supportive but I still feel that left behind feeling , I think it would be impossible not to.

Keep the posts coming


Edited by Mumtini, 28 September 2009 - 06:21 AM.

#8 Shellby

Posted 06 September 2009 - 05:42 PM

I'm in the same boat - 2 boys that only took 12 months and 1 month to conceive no AC needed - this time we are up to cycle 24, and having problems with PCOS and progesterone.

I am glad that this section has been setup - as like you said you feel like a fraud posting when you have had children without trouble in the past and now you need AC - then you feel guilty for wanting another child, and greedy for wanting more.

I really hope your IVF is successful and you don't have to be here for long.


TTC #3
Currently On Cycle 24 - Last Clomid Cycle 50mg
5 Failed Clomid Cycles (3 cycles, 6 month break, back to 3 more cycles)
Dx PCOS August 2008 & Premature Failure of the Corpus Luteum August 2009

#9 toooomuch

Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:53 PM


Edited by snippett, 24 March 2010 - 02:55 PM.

#10 J.T.

Posted 12 September 2009 - 10:45 PM

I'm not so New to AC any more unfortunately, but another one with Unexplained Secondary Infertillity.

Our journey has been so bumpy over the years I have fitted into so many different sections of EB but it is great to have this new area. I'm a serial lurker though and don't post a lot.

               ...... Pg and Child Mentioned.....

So ....we tryed for 6 months fell pg and miscarried. 3 months pg again and went to 32 weeks before my son Dylan was stillborn. No reason given so not a chromasome thing. After 6 mths ttc again we were pg and I am blessed with my now 3 yo Jackson.
We started trying as soon as we could after Jackson because of my age and history but was not expecting this. So we plod on and hope that the next try will be successful.

I hear you on the mothers group issue as well! It is so hard when you all started together, I was the 1st to start trying again and some are onto their 3rd.

I think we sometimes have slightly different issues to those mums that used AC 1st time round. They knew what they were in for when they started trying again (that could be considered a good and a bad thing). Some of us may also have left it a long time before we got things investigated (ME) as we and our GPs thought " well you did it before it will happen soon".

I really hope that your stay in this section is short, but be assured there are lots of us out there but some of us don't post much.


#11 pundelina

Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:47 AM

Another one here waves.gif

I had DS6 with my XH as a result of cycle miscalculation - not trying at all. Now DH and I have been trying since we got married last year. He has two kids from his previous marriage and they were both first month conceptions so he thought it would be easy - ha!

#12 Mumtini

Posted 28 September 2009 - 06:27 AM

Thanks so much ladies for all your heartfelt and honest replies.

Child and PG Mentioned.....................................

I have a little story of my own to share.......  DH has recently been offered a promotion to go and live overseas, after much debate we have decided to take this and shelve our AC for the moment.  However no sooner had we decided to go on our little adventure but wham BFP!  Natural and all, my apologies ladies because I have become one of 'those' women,  the ones your friends and family tell you about.  One of those women who just relax/forget about TTC and then it just happens.  So, So Sorry.  I wish you all the best of luck with your journeys and pray that this little one sticks.

Sorry again


#13 harrison~at~last

Posted 03 October 2009 - 07:42 PM

I don't really know where I 'belong' either!  We TTC'd for 2.5yrs with DD, ended up doing Clomid, OI Injectables and finally conceived on our first round of IVF.  Early this year I conceived naturally and very unexpectantly but went on to have a m/c at around 10w.  Now I am about to have our 2nd and last embryo thawed and hopefully transferred on Monday.  So, I am kind of all over the place!  I hope all of your stays are short ones though, it must be very confusing knowing that you conceived once without problem but are struggling with the next one!

Just read the last post, Wow!  Conrats Mumtini!!  I wish you a very boring 9mths xx

#14 niceedee

Posted 21 October 2009 - 04:15 AM

Hi Ladies

I have never posted but thought I would share my story with you.

At the age of 37 I conceived DD naturally in March 2006 after 3 cycles.  She was born in December 2006 and after enjoying her first year we started trying for#2 in 2008.  I had a slight luteal phase defect so in April 2008 tried 2 cycles of clomid with no success.  In August 2008 my DH had a SA and was diagnosed with low count and mobility. We were advised that at the age of 39 our only hope was ICSI.

We live in Dubai so it hasn't been easy as there are only 2 clinics operating here and the waiting lists are very long.  After contacting a Melbourne clinic I finally got an appt with one of the clinics here. In June 2009 we went through our 1st ICSI cycle with no BFP and am currently undering 2nd cycle now - egg collection tomorrow.  

I too have seen all my friends fall pregnant with number 2 and 3 and initially it was difficult to be happy for them - selfishly thinking how badly I wanted to be in their shoes.  I have turned the corner now and am happy for all those around me to be pregnant because I know in my heart it's only a matter of time til we have number 2 also.

Good luck ladies with TTC #2 and 3 etc.


ICSI#1 June 09: Flare cycle 16 eggs 11 fertilised, 2 embies transferred BFN
no frosties as it's not legal to freeze embies here sad.gif
ICSI #2 June 09: Down reg ??????

#15 Missmischievious

Posted 07 December 2009 - 08:25 PM

Can I join this thread too?

Warning *child and pregnancy mentioned*

I'm another one who has been hanging around in limbo land, reading the posts in the other section with interest hoping that I may be posting a bfp soon (no luck), and with sadness when I haven't succeeded for another month.

My son is nearly 2.5 years old. We've recently discovered that we'll be heading down the AC route. DS was conceived after I had been off the pill for nearly three years. We weren't trying for about half of that but secretly hoping for an accident. Then for a year and a half we tried solidly with no luck, gave up and went to the GP only to find out that month that we got the BFP.

I have not been on any contraception now for about five and a half years. We started trying for number two over 12 months ago obviously with no success, - not even a glimmer.

It has become hard witnessing all of my friends in my MG have their second children, and other friends around me doing the same. A good friend recently announced her second pregnancy, with twins no less, and I had such torn emotions of happiness for her, and grief that I got my AF that same day.

I'm also met with the constant pressure from well meaning family and friends asking about a second, and telling me it's time to 'get a move on'. It's so hard to respond to these sorts of questions. I did have a bit of a melt down on facebook (whoops) recently and told more than I was planning too, but I feel much better that at least some people now know what is going on.

My son James is such a wonderful little boy and I know that he is more than some people could ever imagine having, but I really wish for a brother or sister for him to enjoy and share his childhood with.

I wish you all the very best of luck down this journey and hope that you are able to receive your hearts desires.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


Top 5 Viewed Articles

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.