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How do I start all over again?
I don't know where to begin..

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#1 ihope82

Posted 18 September 2009 - 09:44 AM

Today I will be saying goodbye to my precious daughter Hannah at her funeral, who I lost only last Saturday.

I don't *want* to move on or start over or really even think about another baby. I just want Hannah back safely inside me but I know she's gone.

I feel so empty and I know that in time to come I will start the IVF nightmare again. The truth is though, I don't even know where to start...who to make appointments with and when or what to do?

I know I have to wait 3 months, and I will need to be on higher folate for 3 months but I don't know anything else. Because Hannah had Anencephaly I know we will need to do things different once we are pregnant but I don't know if IVF will be the same?

I have 4 blasts frozen... would I be able to use them? I have no idea. I've been told that just because one (my Hannah) had Anencephaly doesn't mean that all of them will.

If I was going to go through a frozen cycle what is the process? Where do I begin? And how long from first appointment to transfer & 2ww?

I'm sorry this is so muddled, my thoughts are so unclear. I just want to know when I can make new plans because I don't want to one day feel ready and have someone say "well you should have already been doing X"

Thank you in advance...

#2 ihope82

Posted 18 September 2009 - 09:50 AM

I don't understand why this post has been moved here.... do I still count as a "parent", my little girl is gone!!!!  cry1.gif

#3 emmsie78

Posted 18 September 2009 - 11:46 AM

child mentioned***

So very very sorry to hear about your loss.

I guess your post was moved here as this area is for general questions about AC & I guess the thought was that as there is more traffic passing through this area you are more likely to get a response. Of course you are still a parent!

I cant comment on starting back after your situation as I dont know what the time frames would be but can tell you what I did recently as I am looking to go back to IVF for #2 baby. I made appointment with specialist who talked through the FET process (as we also have blasties frozen). He then said to ring the clinic when I am on Day 1 (first day of period) & then come in for BT on Day2 & they will start to monitor from there. I started taking folate a couple of months ago. So I guess 2 things you can do when you feel ready would be to make an appointment with your FS & to start back on the folate (once you are given the OK).

Sorry - prob not much help but just wanted to let you know that there doesnt seem to be a lot of drama in getting up & running pretty quickly when you feel ready, so make sure you take whatever time you need.

Best of luck

#4 neaka

Posted 18 September 2009 - 01:21 PM

Ihope, i just wanted to pop in and say how truly sorry i am for your loss. I hope you take some time out for yourself and DH to heal before jumping into IVF again, but only you know when you'll be ready.
Take care

#5 Guest_domestically~challenged_*

Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:07 PM

I just wanted to say how sorry I am cry1.gif hhugs.gif

#6 anon60

Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:11 PM

Just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have had to go through this. hhugs.gif

HAve you seen a counsellor (Genetic &/or Grief)? Give yourselves a little time to grieve and heal.

Gentle thoughts.

#7 MrsWidget

Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:14 PM

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your little girl. Hannah is such a beautiful name too.

I lost my first, a little girl, at 21.5 weeks and I know how tough the early days can be. I don't have experience with IVF but I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss.

#8 Guest_mssnowden_*

Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:37 PM

I'm sorry for you loss and would recommend some grief counselling, but I can't comment on your AC questions

#9 pundelina

Posted 18 September 2009 - 08:47 PM

Oh ihope I am so so sorry that this is your path, I wish it was different cry1.gif

I'll attempt at answering your questions to the best of my knowledge.

who to make appointments with and when or what to do?
I'd make an appointment with your original doctor at the clinic you used to go to.

I know we will need to do things different once we are pregnant but I don't know if IVF will be the same?
I think the essential process will be the same.

I have 4 blasts frozen... would I be able to use them? I have no idea. I've been told that just because one (my Hannah) had Anencephaly doesn't mean that all of them will.
I would think that you would be able to use them, it depends on the cause of the anencephaly. Some research has shown a genetic component to the defect - possibly you could do genetic testing to assess the blasts you have before transferring them. Other than that, mega-doses of folate are recommended.

If I was going to go through a frozen cycle what is the process? Where do I begin? And how long from first appointment to transfer & 2ww?
Click here for the information my clinic gives on FETs.

All my love and prayers for you and your husband.

Pundelina lives here

Edited by pundelina, 13 November 2009 - 11:40 AM.

#10 Drop Dead Fred

Posted 18 September 2009 - 09:21 PM

cry1.gif I'm so sorry OP

I hope someone can answer your questions, i would suggest seeing your FS to discuss all of this with you and your DH

Thinking of you and your DH tonight  cry1.gif  hhugs.gif

#11 babyblessedxo

Posted 18 September 2009 - 09:57 PM

*** PG/Child Mentioned & Loss***

Hi there iHope82

I know your pain all to well... After TTC for almost 5 years we finally fell PG in early 2007!  Only to have me go into preterm labour at 19 weeks due to Incompetent Cervix... I had emergency surgery which managed to keep Jack inside for a further 5 weeks... I delivered him at 24w3d!  He was perfect just teeny 735g!

Well unfortunately at 26 days old he passed away form a nasty infection NEC!

It was heartwrenching to say the very least...  After TTC for so long and to finally have that long awaited addition to our family, and to have him taken away just seemed to us to be the most unfair thing that could have ever happened!  Ofcourse asking ourselves what did we do to deserve this....  But it was nothing we did or didnt do!  It was just gods way...

Jack & Hannah were just to precious for this Earth... they were Angels that we were lucky enough to have in our lives even if for only a short time!

Our favourite Saying.... Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened!  That is how I eventually got through it...

You are a Mummy & always will be!  Dont you ever forget that....

As for the IVF I went back 6 weeks after giving birth... suffice to say it was way to early and even on Max dose I did not respond in any way!  I ended up taking 6 months off... Had another full cycle (we had no frosties) and had an awesome EPU 20 eggs!  8 Embies...  well our fresh transfer did not take!  I was devastated it was like loosing Jack all over again!  But I moved straight on to a FET and what ya I know I got a BFP...

She is now 8 months old!  Everyday I see Jack in her... it makes me both happy and sad!

I am sure Hannah is up there right now hunting for a new baby sister/brother for you....  It may take her a few months to find the perfect match for your family but when she does it will be worth the wait!

I have rambeled a bit.... Sorry!

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat! Or ask anything at all, Im here every day!  This site got me through alot of hard times....

#12 Chill-Pill

Posted 19 September 2009 - 12:13 AM

I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that your much wanted and loved baby has died sad.gif I can't even imagine the heartache that you are going through right now, I hope you have lots of people around you for hugs and support.

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