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new buddy group for older Mums under time pressure to TTC baby no 2 via AC
late 30's-early 40's new Mums, back to back TTC with AC.

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41 replies to this topic

#1 skip123

Posted 09 November 2009 - 08:56 AM

GQ has suggested I gague interest in a new group with this post so please respond if you'd be be interested this new BG.

I sent a message to the moderators on friday regarding the possiblity of a new buddy group for older women who have just had Baby no1 via AC and for obvious reasons are rushing to TTC baby no2.

Perhaps trying naturally first JIC they are able to beat the odds and fall pregnant naturally second time around, but how long do you try when yet another birthday is coming up again?

Or maybe you are going straight back to AC as you know you cant ever fall naturally or have frozen embies waiting for you.

There are a lot of issues around all this, weaning in order to improve chances of success and weaning so you can start AC and the feelings of guilt and sadness around that whole kettle of fish.

And of course the practicalities of TTC naturally or with IVF while looking after a very young, 3, 4 or 6month old baby.

There' also the fear that baby no2 wont happen no matter what you do and that you may well drag your partner your much loved baby and yourself through all that crap again for nothing...but then if you don't try......

What do you think?

I have looked at several BG but I don't feel there's one for us older time pressured mums who have a lot of issues and decisions to make about expending our families while trying to stay focused on the family we are lucky enough to have.

Look forward to hearing what you think...skip

note, I've changed the parameters to late 30's-early 40's. I may have been a bit too specific with the age group....

Edited by skip123, 14 November 2009 - 08:58 AM.

#2 skip123

Posted 10 November 2009 - 04:04 PM

Feeling a little lonely here...anybody?
There must be a few of us 40+ AC mums going for Baby no2, let me know, if you don't think we need our own buddy group then where is best to hang out? skip

#3 abbi09

Posted 11 November 2009 - 12:30 PM

There is a TTC with AC thread for women over 40 maybe pop in there and say hello .

#4 Fionnna

Posted 11 November 2009 - 12:46 PM

I am TTC and 40 with a three year old DS. I just finished my first round of IVF - had the egg transfer today in fact! My DS was a natural conception. I have 6 eggs to freeze (and maybe a few more will find out Friday morning). Would love this thread to get going!

#5 skip123

Posted 11 November 2009 - 03:13 PM

Thanks Abi,
I have looked into the the 40+ but the problem is that I wouldn't be able to mention problems weaning and getting my DS to sleep through etc etc to '40+ ttc with ac group' as it's a group where some members are not yet parents. I remember very well how it felt to have people pop in with little comments about ds and or dd doing this or that.

Likewise with the parents seeking AC, some of these folk are younger, perhaps were not in as much of a rush to get to where they are, had a little time to spare in between babies and perhaps have another 5-10 year in which they could potentially conceive with or without with AC.

I think this new buddy group (if anyone wants it) would be for a very specific group, perhaps there aren't enough of us? I know several in my mums group.

It's a pressure from about 3 months after Baby arrives, firstly people ask, "do you want another?" Yes I do, but when do we start trying and/or when do we give up natural TTC and go back to AC.

40+ with one precious baby (luckily whether through AC or not) and a rapidly ticking clock and not much time to stop and smell the roses thinking about it all....

Good luck Fionnna, that sounds very promising!!! Fingers crossed for you....

Edited by skip123, 11 November 2009 - 03:14 PM.

#6 jules095

Posted 11 November 2009 - 03:22 PM

Have you tried the 'Older' Mums and Mums-To-Be forum?

You might gain some interest from there (just a thought).

#7 skip123

Posted 11 November 2009 - 04:05 PM

Thanks Jules, not a bad idea, cut and pasted it over there just now.

#8 Neeps

Posted 11 November 2009 - 05:12 PM

Hi Skip - is 36 too young to be in this group?  It seems to be the closest to my situation of the AC groups and i would like to join an AC group.

#9 Guest_domestically~challenged_*

Posted 11 November 2009 - 08:02 PM

I was also going to say perhaps shaving a couple of years off the age requirement might help get more members - 35+ ?

#10 skip123

Posted 12 November 2009 - 07:28 AM

Of course, a few years here or there, I'm not trying to be a 40+ bossy boots.
I really just wanted to put the concept out there and obviously it cant just be for my exact needs and would be refined through feedback to this post.

I guess the krux of it is that it would be a BG for those of us who are worried about running out of time to bring a sibling into the world.

So far I think it's pretty obvious though that there aren't that many people in EB who feel the need for this BG so it probably wont happen..... I guess we'll see if any more of a reaction comes over the weekend.

It has been suggested over at parents forum that we start our own MSN group but Ive never used msn, just EB.
So I'm not going to do that, I dont like change, ha!

skip biggrin.gif

#11 Neeps

Posted 12 November 2009 - 02:01 PM

I am somewhat of the "if you build it, they will come" school of thought. I have looked at all the AC buddy groups and can't find any that I would fit into, aside from mums doing AC - but that seems like a group that has been going for ages, therefore, not keen on crashing it. And I am under time pressure as well.

Have the mods indicated what is the minimum level of interest for setting up such a group?

We have got 3 starters at the moment . . . .Also there have been a few posts recently by other girls who seem to be in this situation and perhaps they would be interested once it is up and running.

If the mods don't want to set up a BG thread then we will just have to chat here!

#12 skip123

Posted 13 November 2009 - 07:08 AM

Hi beatbix, nope, no idea how much interest we need, maybe you are right we can just chat here for a bit.

So....how are you?


#13 GeraniumQueen

Posted 13 November 2009 - 06:44 PM

Just keep chatting in here for the time being and if it gets busier I will move you to the BG area original.gif

Edited by GeraniumQueen, 15 November 2009 - 09:15 PM.
to remove sig..can't believe I left it on, sorry ladies!

#14 skip123

Posted 14 November 2009 - 06:34 AM

thanks GQ,

Right now I am trying to get my head (and Heart) around weaning just to help TTC chances....

I know I'll probably look back and think"why was I so hung up on this?"
but right now it's huge for me..

any hints from those who are out the other side of this?

skip sad.gif

Edited by skip123, 14 November 2009 - 06:36 AM.

#15 Anonemy

Posted 17 November 2009 - 06:41 PM

Hey Skip - don't beat yourself up about your feelings on the weaning love - of course you want to keep it going as long as poss and i reckon it's heart rending to have to pull yourself out of your bub's special nuturing time 37 and full on breast fed til I turned 39 (dd was 18 months old by then) - I didn't get my period til then so basically it meant no chance of bub no 2 before then. Had a few months of convincing DP another bub was the go. Am now 40 and have been full on TTC thru AC for the past year or so with no luck. Have had like my 99th ET a few days ago which is likely to go the way of all the others but you know, I like to hurl myself at impossible obstacles.

Depending on what your fertility issue is, you could go in for the battery of tests on ovarian reserve to see if time really is against you before you decide on your next step

Also - a special BG for us older TTCers (natural or ivf) is a fantastic idea and I'd love to be a part of it

#16 skip123

Posted 19 November 2009 - 07:20 AM

sorry I havent been here for a few days, we are about to move house, yey...so lots of packing and tiring stuff like that. Thanks for sharing your story luibee, I hope that your latest Et works, fingers crossed!!
It's hard, I'd love to BF my lovely little fella for two years, he loves it and love the gazing that happens and then off to sleep so happliy.....ahh oh well...  I will try to have him weaned by jan I guess. B
est to get through the house move and Xmas chaos before doing it I think. Then perhaps just a month or two befre AC again. I have no know reason for infertility just age I guess?
Got to dash, waking baby calling me...skip rolleyes.gif

#17 Neeps

Posted 19 November 2009 - 03:47 PM

Hi Skip . . . haven't been around much lately either. We too are moving house and the list of things to do is endless.

I am probably not much help with advice on weaning. For me, AF started not long after introducing solids and DD was between 6 and 7 months old. Once solids were happening DD gradually lost interest in the boob and so by 9 months had stopped BFing completely. I was a bit sad when it stopped but it was an easy process and just happened naturally. It helped that DD was a guts and was happy to take a bottle with pretty much anything in it.

My neighbour's boy is 27 mths old and he is still BF. Including overnight feeds. Poor neighbour she is at her wits end. Both her kids are IVF which gives me hope.

Meant to say that I have joined the AC over 35 group that has just started up. Mixture of girls with babies and TTC No1-ers. You may want to drop in there and see if it suits.

Had my trigger today so hopefully heading into the TWW in the next day or so. Hope it is a TWW as my LP has been sitting at 8 days for a while now.

#18 skip123

Posted 20 November 2009 - 08:08 AM

hey beetbix, yes moving is awful!!

Are you doing a frozen cycle? Sorry if you mentioned otherwise, Ive had barely any sleep and I'm quite the Zombie today.
Will you have any LP support? I had pregnyl x3 (day 0, 3,6) after my last frozen cycle, it worked!
I really really really hope you get a BFP!
Better go, packing to do....
skip original.gif

ps, so it's ok to chat in over 35's group of Ac-ers? I know it can be hard hearing parents lamenting the battle to have no2 when you dont seem to be getting anywhere trying for baby no1. I just want to be sensitive but I'll look into that group...when I have time!

Edited by skip123, 20 November 2009 - 08:09 AM.

#19 Neeps

Posted 21 November 2009 - 11:50 AM

Hey Skip - good luck with the packing. I'm just doing an OI cycle this month and the next. Will revisit things with the FS in the New Year. But, if it's not happening for us then it looks like ICSI.

I am doing 4 pregnyl shots at 3 day intervals. My LP usually only lasts 8 days so they are trying to push it out a bit. Agonising O pains early yesteday morning, which was only 12-16 hours after my trigger  ohmy.gif . DH and I too exhausted to BD last night so hope we have done enough.

Ran into a friend yesterday who is about to commence IVF for no 2 and with an 8 month old. She is gearing up for weaning. Gently probing her about it, she feels ready to wean and start the whole process again.

#20 cate8

Posted 21 November 2009 - 12:12 PM

Hi everyone,

First of all good luck to everyone TTC with the wonders of modern technology!! I agree completely its really really tough going down this road again with the rigors of a family and household to look after. I had a gorgeous little boy in July thanks to ivf and every day we feel like we have to pinch ourselves to make sure its real!! I also have two older kids 13 and  16 am tossing up trying to decide if we should use our last frozen embie (btw I turned 40 in June ohmy.gif lol )
My dh is really keen to try again but I'm not so sure. I suffer from shingles and also pelvic instability so the pregnancy and afterwards was pretty tought on the old body....
If anyones been in the same boat I would love to hear your stories.

#21 ruby09

Posted 30 November 2009 - 01:25 PM

I am relatively new on here, so just having a browse around!
I do fit into this group; and have also had a few posts in the Over 40 & TTC with IVF group. Though, with a 3yo DD (conceived naturally) I seem to fit both groups !
I am having my very first EPU on Wed & first ET on Friday of this week, after having no success at trying again naturally for #2 for 14 months now.
Happy to chat with others, esp in Melb.

#22 42n8

Posted 01 December 2009 - 04:12 PM

Hello ladies,

If this group is going to go ahead i'd like to throw my hat in here too.  I'm not too good with big buddy groups as i find it hard to keep up and usually (and unintentionally) end up putting my foot firmly in my mouth somewhere along the line.  Doh!  

Anyway, although I ph34r.gif alot of the other buddy groups, I kinda feel alot like you Skip123 in that I just don't feel comfortable enough to drop in to an already established group - especially when TTC again with a babe in arms too.  That's why this group appeals so much.  It'd be a relief to be able to talk babies and TTC without risk of offending or hurting someone.  I've been there - and I'm very conscious of how that feels still even though I'm now lucky to have 1.

So in brief, I'm 36yo (but prefer to think of it as 29ish - IYKWIM ;P) and live in regional Vic.  I have an 8mo DD (the result of 6 years of TTC/AC and alot of "bad luck" along the way) and I'm well and truly back on the bandwagon trying to outrun Father Time to have another.  I know that may sound young(ish) to some but I have a looonng family history of early-menopause (<40) so I hear that clock ticking away in my head loud and clearly. And I'm certain I don't have another 6+ years in me to TTC #2.

Currently I'm jabbing away and due to have an EPU next week.

RUBY - Good luck for Wednesday.



#23 J-A

Posted 07 December 2009 - 01:23 PM

Hi Ladies

I'm not sure if this group is going to go ahead but if it is I would love to be a member as it really seems to fit where I am at.

I'm not quite ready to activley TTC (with AC) at the moment as DS is only 14 weeks but will be next year some time & this group would be a great place to stay connected.

I would much prefer a larger gap between DS & sibling but age is starting to creep up. My only real concern with being pg again is I get hypermesis (extreme m/s) and was hospitilised quite a few times. I really don't know how I will manage with a baby but we do what we have to.

My AC was using OI I we will go this route again to start with.

I look forward to hearing from you & will give a bit more of a background about me then.


#24 42n8

Posted 09 December 2009 - 04:36 PM

Hi Dragonfly.

I've been popping in here every couple of days in hope this group kicks off but I figure...if we build it they will come.

I wouldn't worry about not 'officially' TTC yet and congratulations on the arrival of your 14wo.  My DH and I weren't TTC 'officially' until my little girl was 4mo but we weren't NOT TTC either IYKWIM.

My DD is just about 9mo now and we've been back on the AC rollercoaster for a few months without success.  In reality it feels like we're going backwards right now and I'm already tired of hearing, "Well at least you have DD..."

Anyway,  I don't let my sig run cos I have a ticker for DD attached and that's not allowed here but in a nutshell, I'm an oldie in the AC game.  It took us 6+ years to have DD and lot of trouble and not-so-good times along the way.  But i guess you can understand better than most about the 'not-so-good times'.

I'm still desparately hoping it wont take as long to have #2 because quite frankly I doubt I have another 6 years in me.  I thought it would be easier (knowing it CAN work this time round) but I'm finding it just as emotional and difficult as it was before.  If not more so (somedays).

Well I'm hoping this group keeps going. It might be nice having it smaller and easier to keep up with too.  I'll pop back in an another couple of days to see how we're moving.

RUBY:  Are you out there?  How did your EPU go?


Edited by 42n8, 09 December 2009 - 04:40 PM.

#25 J-A

Posted 11 December 2009 - 01:52 PM

Hi 42n8 thanks for the welcome.

It would be great to see this group take off but like you say we can keep chatting & hopefully some others will join in. I to get  bit lost in the bigger groups as I can't always get in every day..

My DF & I are a bit like yourself not 'officially' TTC but we aren't NOT TTC either. If by chance it happens without AC then I reckon it's meant to be I we will cope as others in the past have.

I hope you have a quicker journey this time around, 6 years is a long time & I understand the frustration of others comments. I had people assume I was going to have my tubes tied while I had my cs for DS because why would I want to go through all of that again  ohmy.gif . Some people just don't understand, that's why groups like this are great.

Where are you up to now in your TTC?

Hello to any others that are lurking..


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