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new buddy group for older Mums under time pressure to TTC baby no 2 via AC
late 30's-early 40's new Mums, back to back TTC with AC.

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41 replies to this topic

#26 42n8

Posted 12 December 2009 - 10:38 AM

Hi Dragonfly,

Hey it may only be you and me in here right now but that just makes us special right?

Currently I'm kinda in the 2ww but I dont hold alot (well any really) hope for anything coming of it.  Since DH and I started 'officially' doing the AC route in Aug this year we've had 1 FET which was a BFN.  I have only recently been told by my clinic that it was actually a Chem Pg as I had traces of HCG in my system but not enough to be anything viable.  Anyway that would explain why we had to write-off our 2nd attempt FET in September because my cycle went completely haywire.  Finally in October I was back-to-normal enough to try again but our lucky last frozen embie didn't survive the thaw.  So then it was planned for me to do another EPU but my FS wanted me to do it off the pill just to make sure he was in control of my cycle and there were no more 'hiccups'.  So I spent November going slowly crazy on the pill going into a antagonist cycle.  My pick-up was to be 7 Dec but my pre-pickup scan (a few days before) showed i had 2 really strong lead follies and all the others were significantly smaller so my FS cancelled the pickup and switched us to an IUI.  It's more of a booby prize than anything else.  So in a nutshell, we're 5months down the track and in reality further away from any chance of success than when we started.  Ho humm, i guess.  That's AC for you.

I know i should be grateful to have my DD.  And I am. She is the baby that I was never meant to have afterall.  I had a cervical ectopic pg in early 2008 (lost twins) and came close to dying from a cervical heamorrhage.  I'm lucky to be alive and doublely lucky to still have a uterus but as it happened I heamorrhaged in my FS' office.  After that i was told that (becaused of the damage to my cervix and cervical artery) that I would never be able to carry a baby to term and couldn't have a cerclage for the same reason.  But 3 months down the track my FS was amazed at how fast and well I had healed so he gave us the green light to try again and...despite a high drama pg the result is DD#1.

The point is, I might completely suck at getting pg, staying pg and being pg but I'm a damn good mum at the end of it all (if i dont say so myself).  Even before DH and I realised we need AC help, we planned to have at least 2 kiddies.  Why should i give up on achieving that goal just cos it didn't happen as easily as we thought?  My job's not done yet.  Our family is still incomplete and so long as there's even the slightest chance...I'll still be in there trying.

Have a lovely weekend.  i'll BBL in a couple of days again.


#27 cherubcheeks

Posted 18 December 2009 - 12:49 PM


I think the group is a good idea....Also, once you hve a group out there, people will join.

I am 37, conceived 1st time naturally, but struggling this time round...ahve just started AC...

I feel I need some support!

Good luck


#28 42n8

Posted 18 December 2009 - 01:32 PM

Hi Getintomybelly and Welcome!

We may be small in numbers right now but like I said to Dragonfly...if we build it they will come.

So far it seems like it's just the 3 of us but the good thing about that is because we pop-in semi-regularly it's easy to keep up with each other.  I like that.  I tend to get a little overwhelmed in the bigger BGs so I like it in here.

Well, i dont really have much to report.  I'm flat-out with Chrissy plans.  Baking up a storm, cleaning the house from head to toes and wrapping and packing all the gifts.  This is not only my DD's first Christmas but it's my first Christmas as a mum too and I'm finiding it's making the whole thing far less teadious and a whole lot more fun.  

Technically, I'm in the middle of a 2ww but only technically. I had an IUI on 7 Dec and it really doesn't have any chance of working for us so realistically I'm just counting down the days til AF so we can try, try again.

Looking forward to getting you know you better in here.


#29 ruby09

Posted 19 December 2009 - 03:34 PM

hi all,
I apologise for the late reply...I have been rather quiet everywhere of late, with things not going too well after ET on 4/12.  I do appreciate the support and interest in here though.
I had the EPU on 2/12 (very painful), with an exceptional result of 10 mature eggs from 10 follicles. That night they went through the attempted fertilisation in the Lab; and under the advice of the embryologist we opted to trial 5 by 'natural' selection fertilisation, and 5 by ICSI method. The rationale being that if none of the 'natural' group fertilised, then this might tell us a bit about why we've been having probs for over a year...
I received a phone call the next day, and that was confirmed. The 5 which were left to do their thing as nature intended, did nothing. Even with the scientist's selection of the best 'looking' sperm (shape, form, motility etc), none of them got through any of the 5 eggs. So this does tell us something.
On the very positive up-side of all of this, the artificially fertilised eggs were all viable and busily dividing into very healthy little embryos! So we got 5 out of 5 at that point - and apparently despite normal prediction being a 50% drop off, we had 100% viable embryos at that time.
The embryologist also suggested that the fact that we conceived naturally with my DD 3+ yrs ago was an absolute fluke!! As it appears the sperm are just not capable of breaking through the egg's outer layer - either because of my eggs not releasing the right hormones or because the outer pellucidum is just simply too tough. (So don't mess with me, I have tough eggs!) Secretly I also think my DH is pleased that his boys aren't to blame!
The ET went well, we had 2 embys put on board (out of the 4 remaining - 1 didn't meke it overnight), and although I was 'tricked' into feeling rather pregnant by the Crinone goop, I started to bleed very heavily 10 days post ET. We also found out after speaking to the FS that the last 2 didn't even make it to the freezer as there were too many nuclei per cell, so they would have miscarried had they been the 2 chosen. Who knows if the 2 that did go in weren't the same.
So I had a BFN blood test result on Wed last week - 6 days earlier than anticipated. So I can't help feeling a little 'ripped off' in terms of eggs. I mean, we had 10 great eggs, and now, just 2 weeks later we have none! I know that the first cycle has been more diagnostic for us, as we now have an answer as to why we can't conceive without assistance. But, geeez, you start with 10, and then have none!!
So I am also having a month off - what with Xmas shutdown of the clinic, and FS recommendation to allow AF to come naturally one month. Then I will be having EPU #2 around the end of Jan '10. at least we know what to expect this time, and we will opt for ICSI on ALL the eggs.
We are managing ok. I have some teary moments, and also felt fabulous after biting the head off an old 'friend' who so 'wisely' said to me ON THE DAY OF LOSS... wait for it.... " Well at least you have one, it's not like anyone died". Can you believe it??!! I tore shreds off this person, and said, amongst other things, well actually two did die. Idiot.
Thanks for the space to rant!
Hope you are all well,
hugs and baby dust to us all.
And Getintomybelly - good luck as you embark on your journey... would love to chat.

Edited by ruby09, 19 December 2009 - 04:03 PM.

#30 DebnWill

Posted 02 January 2010 - 01:32 PM

Hello!  I'd like to join this group if it's still active...

I'm 41 years old and have a three year old DS.  I start IVF in February.  I'm a single mother by choice, but have the same issues you've talked about i.e. time is running out to give my DS a sibling.

#31 ZoeA

Posted 24 January 2010 - 02:05 PM

Hi everyone,

I would LOVE to join this group if it is still going.

I feel like I fit perfectly. I am 39 and we are about to start TTC #2. We had our DS by AC and feel that we probably will need to go down this route again in a few months.

The old feelings surrounding infertility have insidiously crept back in to my life. I keep trying to remind myself that I have a gorgeous DS, but I do want him to have a sibling and I feel like time is really against me.

Ruby, I hope you are ok.

Love to chat everyone. Or let me know if this post has been moved to another thread that I can join.

#32 idasmum

Posted 12 February 2010 - 12:52 PM

Hi all,

Glad to have found this group/thread and hope it's still going.

I'm 39+ turning 40 in March, DD#1 almost 3 (yes, time's running out!)

Have "unexplained infertility", been on 7-8 cycles of OI since May 2009, early miscarriage 4.5weeks Nov 09.  Almost at the end of 2ww after unstimulated IUI #1 [not holding out for too much hope, having all signs of AH arriving].

I have been feeling really down and sick and tired of all this TTC, as none of the docs, etc. can tell me what's wrong other than a short luteal phase.  Contemplating IVF next cycle.

Is anyone else in the same boat?

Edited by idasmum, 12 February 2010 - 01:09 PM.

#33 skip123

Posted 13 February 2010 - 10:17 AM

Hi everyone, Sorry for the huge gap since my last entry. I started this thread before moving house in late novemeber and life has been utter chaos since. Infact i cant really write now, im glad to see we are still keeping this thread going though so i just wanted to touch base and i'll try check back in again with an update later today. cheers, skip

#34 Neeps

Posted 14 February 2010 - 02:16 PM

Hi Skip - good to hear from you. We too moved house recently. I completely understand the chaos. I am just starting to feel that things are a teensy bit sorted.

Idasmum - yup, in the same boat as you. The most they can identify as being a potential problem for me is also a short LP. We have been TTC no 2 since Oct 08. I have done 3 rounds of OI, last one in January, no success and am going to start IVF next cycle. Clinic isn't keen to let me do anymore OI as their view is that if it hasn't worked after 3 rounds it is unlikely to. I am uncertain about whether IVF makes sense given DD was conceived naturally, after 12 months TTC.

The reason I will probably end up doing IVF, is that it should give the FS a bit more diagnostic info on whether there are problems with fertilisation. DHs sperm is OK, not fabulous with high fragmentation.

Totally understand that you feel down about it all. I swing between impotent rage that TTC is so hard and sadness that DD may grow up an only child.

This group is super quiet so hopefully more people will pop in to chat.  

Ruby - hope things have turned the corner for you!

#35 damath

Posted 19 February 2010 - 02:25 PM

Hi all
I think this is a great group to start.. Having trouble TTC #2 has its own issues that have already been mentioned & don’t' fit in with other groups. Today sees me struggling with hearing about another friend’s pregnancy with no.2 which just happens to be the 3rd friend to fall pregnant accidentally! in the past month. Hard to hear when we have been trying for 16 months.

Got my next FS appointment next week to start the paperwork for IVF (I'm nearly 37). My DS (2) was conceived naturally but I have PCOS and clomid didn't work. I'm on my 2nd cycle of TC herbs (which made me ovulate earlier than clomid by 2 days!). I don't know whether to give the herbs more of a chance (given they did a better job of regulating my cycle than clomid and having conceived naturally before) or just get started with IVF (as the FS has recommended & due to my age). FS has said not to bother with IUI.

Anyway because I am new to the AC stuff it might be good to get some support. I anticipate not being a very good member of the group - I've only visited EB a few times, but maybe I can try harder - I'll put a watch on the thread...

Thanks, D

#36 nicole.mcauliff

Posted 20 February 2010 - 06:37 PM

Great forum, would love to join.  Will see how the nextnfew
weeks progress.  Just got a BFP naturally on Thursday and I still can't believe it!

#37 skip123

Posted 30 March 2010 - 09:59 AM

Hi guys, Ive gone to over 40's ivf bg. Long story why I've not been in here for a while. Maybe chat over there. skip biggrin.gif

#38 jax1

Posted 07 April 2010 - 02:08 PM

I haven't had time to read all the posts so far..... but thought I'd write.
I have a DS almost 2. I have wanted a sibling for DS but after such a long & tiring journey to get DS feel I may not be up to the challenge again, and I should be grateful for 1 when so many do not have even that.

I did IVF for over 4 years to get DS, only after changing the protocol....success.
Anyway, to get my DH to even think of it, I have heard somewhere (not sure where) that there is now a simple test that can be taken to advise what your egg quality is without having to go under the knife... Does anyone know about this? Or will I have to go back to the FS & go from scratch??

Any help please!!!

#39 nicole.mcauliff

Posted 12 April 2010 - 06:57 PM

Hi there I am really interested in this group?  I've been waiting to connect with some older mums!  Let's hope it goes ahead!

#40 nicole.mcauliff

Posted 12 April 2010 - 07:02 PM

Ps forgot mention my BFP just became a BFN with a miscarriage at 7 weeks.  Seeing the FS tomorrow.  Thinking of TTC for another 2 months then back to IVF perhaps with a change of protocol ie no more blasts that don't that that high mortality and don't freeze to day 2 ?

#41 Neeps

Posted 13 April 2010 - 06:51 PM

Hi Nicole - this group has been really slow to get going and not sure that it is going anywhere. We seem to have lost Skip and I am mainly posting in the over 35 IVF group (for those TTC baby 1, 2 or more), feel free to pop in there.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to your feelings at the moment. I started my down reg cycle and got a BFP whilst taking synarel. Unfortunately it didn't stick and I had an early loss last week at about 5.5 weeks. So, for me it is straight back to IVF. Waiting for AF then will start again.

I am happy to keep chatting here if you want to.

#42 gilgais

Posted 16 May 2010 - 04:02 PM

I am a 43 year old first time Mum of 9 month old boy and TTC for obvious reasons, number 2.  Finding the disappointment tough as I thought we knew the recipe.  Am in the middle of 2nd cycle this time around and am not sure of energy levels, and emotional levels to "just keep on going".  Any tips?

Beautiful babe is just wonderful

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