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Sex, Birth & Videotape
34 replies to this topic
Posted 03 December 2009 - 11:38 AM
It sounds like he doesn't fully understand how birth works. And why should he? He's never been part of this before. You need to explain to hime gently that you need him to support you during the birth and that it's just not a time to be running around with a camera. Is he maybe frightened of what will actually happen emotionally with the birth and is using this as a way of "detatching" from the experience.
Having unneccessary people in the room can be disruptive enough, having a camera there would be hell on earth. Some people liken giving birth to having sex, the same body parts are involved, the same hormones are involved and the same noises are made. Would he be able to make love to you with someone else filming it? (Maybe you'd better not ask him that question )
To help him understand,I would suggest that he reads this article by Dr Sarah Buckley http://sarahjbuckley.com/articles/labour-hormones.htm
Good luck. But stick to your guns. If you don't want the camera there, it's not there
Posted 03 December 2009 - 11:56 AM
DD's birth over 4 years ago was captured on video - I watched it for the first time about one month ago, with DD and DS beside me. It was *the most beautiful* thing we could share together. I had a water-birth in a hospital, the video was on a tripod, so it captured DH & I together, experiencing the amazing delivery of DD. There was no screaming (the second time around!), and what I had thought happened during the delivery, was shown very differently in the video. It also captured my son's first moments with his sister, which was very warming to see.
I recommend this - you can store the tape away unseen, like I did for over 4 years, or transfer it to a DVD for about $20. You might feel differently after some time, and be thankful for the opportunity to relive the birth.
(Oh, and I could see just how annoying my husband was during the birth, seeing the midwives roll their eyes at him ...priceless!)
Posted 14 January 2010 - 09:56 AM
If it makes you uncomfortable, don't. You need to be as comfortable as you can be on the day! And the chance of him showing it to people... GAWD what is he thinking! Haha - ask for the video to start with a closeup of HIS private parts and you'll probably prevent that...!
For me, I'd have loved to have had mine videoed. Unfortunately we weren't allowed to once the forceps came out (fear of litigation?), which was ok, but I'd have liked to see my DD's first few seconds emerging into the world, given I couldn't see that from the angle I had! I have watched my video of the lead-up and labour and the straight-after, and I'm glad we recorded it. It's amazing how much you forget.
BUT.... I also know my H wouldn't DREAM of showing it to anyone! Maybe some day if DD wants to see it, she will.
And ~M~ ..... that's beautiful! I hope I'll someday get to do something like that with DD, that would be wonderful...
Edited by callmeal, 14 January 2010 - 10:21 AM.
Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:06 AM
For myself, while giving birth is one of the most amazing things anyone can ever do, it also ranks right up there as one of the most undignified things anyone can ever do. DH took photos immediately after the birth, which are beautiful, but there is no way I would ever want something as intimate as giving birth to be videotaped. I also wonder just what the child involved would think about it in a few years time.
Posted 27 January 2010 - 04:18 PM
Before I gave birth I used youtube to look at vid's of other people giving birth ( i wanted some idea of what i was in for) and video's from over the shoulder, so you couldn't see the lady's bits and pieces. Personally I wouldn't allow video, and didn't even want photo's but my husband took a few. They are strictly for our viewing only though and if you do decide to allow hubbie to video, insist that he not show anyone. It's nobody's business and I can't imagine too many people who would want to see you giving birth anyway.
Posted 13 March 2012 - 11:50 AM
My DH has videoed all our childrens births, at our last child's birth even the 6 year old videoed his brothers entrance into the world.
I think that video the birth is important because forever you capture that moment of relief, the first cry, the tears of joy the emotion. Video and photographing this event should be a choice of the parents and obviously the mother needs to be 100% ok with it, birthing is not a time for having to feel self conscious - it is about letting go and being in the moment.
Posted 13 March 2012 - 12:12 PM
I think you don't know what will happen in labour. My labour was reasonable, all circumstances taken into account, I suppose...but there is a part of the afternoon of which I have no memory at all. Having spoken about what happened with DH and a psych, it seems likely given what was happening that I have dissociated those memories in order to cope with the situation. I'm not sure it would be helpful, and it could be quite traumatic, to try to watch a visual record of something my brain has instinctively suppressed.
But the thing is that no one could have predicted those circumstances or how I would cope. I'd be concerned that if birth left you in a fragile state, a video record could compound that.
Posted 13 March 2012 - 12:23 PM
Not for me.
All the pics i have of dd start after we both all cleaned up. I felt exposed enough as it is, a camera in the room would have been BAD really BAD for me.
Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:47 PM
We videoed both our kids - Strictly from top of the bed.
Sure a lot is going on and not all of it is great to remember.. but hello editing software.
Those first moments are amazing and with a little tidy up everyone can enjoy them. Our kids love watching themselves - their first cries, cuddles, mum & dad's kisses.
If you've got an apple at home, you've got iMovie. Anyone can use it.
Posted 25 June 2012 - 04:14 PM
Not for me, I do have second by second shots of my DD in the theatre for my emergency c/s plus they do not allow video tape. Our camera can do both video and shots but I would not have wanted video personally. I could not even stand to watch my own wedding cause I am so sensitive about my appearance and sometimes I don't like my voice.
I guess each to their own and videoing an event such as this must have permission and also to have that permission revoked at any time if the mother feels uncomfortable with recording what is such an intimate affair.
If I found out that someone recorded me whilst I was that vulnerable and without my permission I would go absolutely ballistic.
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