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getting negative comments re STILL breastfeeding....what do you say!

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#1 klam2

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:27 PM

My baby is only 12 months (just) and im still happily breastfeeding. I love it. I like the bonding, the nurturing, my baby is busy so its a nice moment for me to get a cuddle, its good for her etc etc.

But im starting to get comments from friends (usually with no kids) and my mil about when im going to wean.

I have no intention at the moment and i suppose we will wean when me and my dd decide its right for us.

How do you respond?

#2 faerymama

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:32 PM

Just say "it's working for us, why do we have to change things" and leave it at that.

You could tell them about the WHO recommendations, but they may or may not be interested.

#3 2FairyGirls

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:33 PM

I think your words are the perfect response

I have no intention at the moment and i suppose we will wean when me and my dd decide its right for us.

#4 ~Jam~

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:36 PM

DS is 18 months tomorrow, I usually say "sometime before he goes to school I guess", but then  I am a smart a*se  xmas_tongue.gif

Congrats on reaching 12 months and many more to come!!

#5 *maddierose*

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:37 PM

ds#1 self weaned when he was 18 months and i was getting the
"When are you going to stop feeding him?"
"Oh you'll still be feeding him when he starts school, going to visit at recess"

and about 100 others, at times it did get me down but i knew i was doing what was best for my baby and i would just quote the WHO recommendations and say "he will wean when he is ready and not before".

I will be watching this topic for witty come backs as ds#2 is 9 and a half months and i'm sure the comments will start soon.

#6 Obesa cantavit

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:41 PM

I used to just say "When they stop wanting it". You could always say " Im happy and healthy, She's happy and healthy so why stop?" I fed until they self weened, DD1 15mths, DD2 23mths and DD3 is still going strong at 7 mths.

#7 Drama

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:42 PM

How about "yes, it's funny how my concern for his wellbeing continued even after he reached six months", "the benefits to his health and his immune system don't have an age limit", and other things along those lines.

#8 QueenOfTheDesert

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:42 PM

I am still bf at 17 months (have surprised myself with that one!) and know what you mean about the comments. Just tell them "why mess with something that not broken". You could also mention about the WHO recommendations about bf until at least 2. You could also mention that extended bf will decrease your risk of breast cancer. I found the kellymom.com website had heaps of good reasons for extended bf, and have used quite of few of them when called for.
Lastly, keep telling yourself that its water off a ducks back. You are doing so well to have made it to 12 months. If you and DD are happy to keep going, then keep going. When people question it, answer in an assertive and confident voice and they will usually back off. And if none of that works, ask them how on earth cows milk (milk from another species!) could possibly be more natural for a child than human milk?!

#9 Guest_**KM**_*

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:44 PM

I haven't really received any comments as yet except for my MIL who asked me if I was still feeding, I just told her that yes I was and will continue to until my DD2 decides she wants to wean.  I am wondering if I will get other comments this Christmas/Box Day from extended family, but my response will be the same and if they say anything I will just say that the WHO recommends feeding until 2 years of age and beyond - and that the average world wide weaning age is actually 4 yrs old  biggrin.gif

Good luck for us all this Christmas period  xmas_cool.gif

#10 klam2

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:44 PM

Thank you for all your responses.

My favourite line i used today when my friend asked me was " definatley before she is eight"

I do use the WHO one sometimes.....

I think maybe and correct me if im wrong but breastfeeding later is more common in european countries. Extended breastfeeding is past two, i think its amazing and suprises me that people seem so suprised that at 12 months its strange to be still breastfeeding.

#11 klam2

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:47 PM

Laughing along - i love the one about cows milk.......

SOOOOOO true!!!!

Will use that one definatley!

#12 BentoBaby

Posted 23 December 2009 - 07:58 PM

12 months doesn't seem excessive at all to me! I thought it was "normal" to aim for exclusive breatsfeeding to 6 months and continued breastfeeding to AT LEAST 12 months...

I work with families all day and it is totally normal for bubs to be continuing to be breastfed into their second year (i.e. over 12 months) in many cases.

People just love to have an opinion on everything don't they! "wow you're still breastfeeding" "oh you're not breastfeeding" "oh you've weaned already" blah blah blah

#13 Waltzing

Posted 23 December 2009 - 08:01 PM

Oh yeah, it sucks.

Edited by Waltzing, 04 May 2010 - 06:09 PM.

#14 faerymama

Posted 23 December 2009 - 08:04 PM

Oh yeah, I used to get the "will you be dropping in at school for lunch time feeding?"
People sure love that one don't they?

I used to get that all the time with DD...it used to upset me, but now i can just ignore it.

No-one says anything to me anymore though. After feeding DD & DS2 for 22 months each, they know what to expect.

#15 Mum2Nic

Posted 23 December 2009 - 08:04 PM

If you make it to 2 you can say you are part of the elite 1% of Australian mothers who meet the WHO recommendations for breastfeeding to 2 years.  Breastfed DS to 2 and half, just once a day from 20 months on.

#16 steppy

Posted 23 December 2009 - 08:06 PM

I would not think you should feel any anxiety about what you are doing. I think it is quite normal to breastfeed until 2 or so, if all goes well for everyone. Friends of mine breastfed their child until he was 3 and a half or so. It wouldn't be for me but it didn't seem to have a bad outcome for them.

#17 jotsmum

Posted 24 December 2009 - 10:55 AM

DH is one of those people original.gif.  He can't seem to understand why we still do it at 15mo.  Because she likes it, I like it and it keeps my PND at manageable levels.  

My favourite comeback is 'why waste good milk?'

I quite often say it is none of their business but i guess it depends who is asking.  I am aiming now for 18 mo and slowly wean from then as DH is taking her to the UK for 2 weeks at 23mo and I thinkit would be best if we were done by then sad.gif

#18 QueenOfTheDesert

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:04 AM

Forgot to mention, you could remind them that there is a big nationwide campaign at the moment that is aimed at making the community aware of the benefits of bf to at least 12 months (and hopefully beyond). People are slowly becoming aware of the benefits of bf. Then suggest they do some research on it, if they really don't understand why human milk is best for humans!

#19 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:29 AM

I just saw this in recent topics.  

I had a friend who got the comment, "Don't you think this has gone on a bit long?" (DS was just under two).

I LOVED her reply:

"I guess if he walks in, throws his car keys on the table, and climbs on my lap, it's probably gone on too long.  For the moment, though, I think he's fine."  

It almost made coffee come out my nose.   biggrin.gif

#20 Maeli

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:41 AM

"I guess if he walks in, throws his car keys on the table, and climbs on my lap, it's probably gone on too long. For the moment, though, I think he's fine."

LOVE IT!!  I am SO using that one biggrin.gif

I am still feeding my 16 month old & he is a BIG boy, so I am starting to become aware in public that some people may not agree with me still feeding him.  But quite frankly I don't care.

He will take some water from a sippy, but he still gets the majority of his fluids from me.  Why would I take that away?

#21 Alina0210

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:51 AM

I always just mention that WHO recommends breastfeeding to at least 2yrs... that shuts them up quickly.

#22 Vasquez

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:57 AM

My youngest is nearly 2 and still BF....   I will kick her off at 2, but thats my personal choice.

#23 -Screamapillar-

Posted 24 December 2009 - 11:58 AM

I always just say, "The world average is 4 years, I'll worry about him still feeding when he gets closer to that age."

It drives me crazy that some people think it's acceptable for 2 and 3 year olds to walk around sucking on a bottle but are repulsed at a young child still receiving comfort and nutrition from their mother.

#24 samanthan

Posted 24 December 2009 - 12:04 PM

After feeding 3 children over 2 years each my response used to always be...if I'm feeding them on their wedding night I'll know we've gone too far!

Good for you for reaching the 12 month milestone original.gif

#25 GreenCabbage

Posted 24 December 2009 - 12:06 PM

I get these comments from some ppl and DD is only 7.5months. I have no intention of weaning her anytime soon and she wouldnt let me anyway.

I like it, she loves it so why stop?

Keep enjoying those cuddles and know ur doing the best thing for ur bubs original.gif

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