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getting negative comments re STILL breastfeeding....what do you say!


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#26 atua

Posted 24 December 2009 - 12:13 PM

#3 weaned (by me due to HG) at 17.5mths- i used to tell ppl sometime before school - i was asked if i could fed in another room once in my own home - needless tosay that person doesn't come to my home anymore laughing2.gif(i should add others homes i would leave the room if they were uncomfortable out of respect for them and their home)

#27 Blondiebear

Posted 24 December 2009 - 12:15 PM

I've been hearing the comments too. I try the WHO response, but my sister, who is a paediatrician, points out that those recommendations are designed for third world countries where there is limited access to clean water and food for children glare.gif. Usually I just say that we're both happy doing it and it saves money on cow's milk biggrin.gif.

#28 Puggle

Posted 24 December 2009 - 12:32 PM

QUOTE (blondiebear @ 24/12/2009, 01:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've been hearing the comments too. I try the WHO response, but my sister, who is a paediatrician, points out that those recommendations are designed for third world countries where there is limited access to clean water and food for children glare.gif.



Maybe she needs to do some postgraduate study wink.gif

OP, I've had a few questions over the years and always just replied 'when DD is ready' or that 'I'll continue for as long as both of us are happy with the arrangement'. DD1 weaned at 26 months, DD2 is still going strong at 14 months. I'm confident in my responses, which I think always helps stop further questioning. Look the questioner in the eye and give whatever answer you choose. I've never understood why it is anyone else's business anyway, and think most people asking (unless I know they themselves are BFing and are probably genuinely interested) are quite rude for doing so.

I'm very fortunate that most people in my life (including GP's, OB, Health nurses etc) are very supportive of extended BFing in general.

Edited by Puggle, 24 December 2009 - 12:36 PM.


#29 rstar

Posted 24 December 2009 - 05:51 PM

I think I've been really lucky in that I haven't had any negative comments re: "still" feeding DD.  I have had people ask me how long though, timidly usually.  I think it has just been out of curiosity that they ask.

I've always told them that we will stop when she is ready.  She is 27 months now and I'm expecting bubby no. 2 in March next year.  Can't wait to hear some comments about (possibly) feeding both original.gif

Congrats on hitting the 12 month mark original.gif

#30 heather124

Posted 24 December 2009 - 05:59 PM

I would just say when she's ready!   I never really like handing out facts because it felt to me like I was defending the fact I was BFing when there really is no reason to.  If someone has a problem with it then it's THEIR problem and they need to sort through it.  Just dont' let it get to you and make you stop sooner then you want because that is something you will regret down the road.

#31 Mulan

Posted 24 December 2009 - 06:07 PM

I don't even get into it now I just say "Yep, she'll wean when she is ready, my middle child kept going until he was 4"
but I'm also over it and hoping she will wean soon, but I believe in child led weaning and follow don't offer, don't refuse beyond 12 months  (except when sick and I certainly do offer to keep hydrated)

#32 MandyS

Posted 24 December 2009 - 06:50 PM

Congratulations!  You should be proud of yourself!!!!  Unfortunately more and more people are turning to the bottle (and I don't judge those who do) but breast is best!

I fed first til 21 months and second til 16 months! They self weened!

Keep going until you ready to stop!  Don't listen to what others have to say!!   wink.gif

#33 hollysmama

Posted 24 December 2009 - 08:38 PM

Well done to you I say, and don't let anyone's opinion intimidate or influence you.  

People are surprised when i tell them I'm still breastfeeding, even though DD is only 6 months.  But it's not because they are surprised that I'm still doing it, but just surprised that I'm doing it at all.  The majority of my extended family never breastfed so it's a big shock that I'm actually doing it.  To me, that's just really sad.

#34 Ianthe

Posted 25 December 2009 - 12:28 AM

I would just say that you will keep going for as long as it suits you both.



#35 Sassenach2

Posted 26 December 2009 - 01:49 PM

I think I would say "Oh, I don't want to get breast-cancer in the future, and this is a very good preventative thing to do, for as long as we want to carry on, so maybe I will be feeding as my baby goes in the school gate - who knows". My grandaughter is now 22 months and still getting breastmilk 2 or 3 times per day, and I have noticed that when a virus goes through the family, she does not get it as bad as the rest of the family, and is over it in 24 hours, so it is absolutely the wonderful, magical species to species food. Keep going for as long as you both want to. bbaby.gif

#36 swimmingalong

Posted 26 December 2009 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE
smiled brightly and said "Yes, isn't it wonderful?". He couldn't say much to that and the subject was changed


I think this answer is wonderful... what a conversation stopper!!

#37 member89732

Posted 26 December 2009 - 11:03 PM

Well done klam2, that is wonderful!  cclap.gif
I fed DS until 23months and stil going strong now with DD at 9 months.
I got so sick of the negative comments with DS and already getting them this time with DD, and have been for a few months now.  aannoyed.gif  mad.gif
I would just also say what you wrote in your post,
QUOTE
I have no intention at the moment and i suppose we will wean when me and my dd decide its right for us.

Good luck with the rest of your BF journey!  original.gif

#38 kadoodle

Posted 26 December 2009 - 11:09 PM

In eastern euope BF till at least 4 is par for the course.  Western Europe (apart from the UK) it tends to be till 2 in cities and school age in the country.  
I tell my mum that as long as I'm not doing a little britain than it's all good when she mithers me about still bf DD2.

Edited by kadoodle, 26 December 2009 - 11:10 PM.


#39 tash1569

Posted 26 December 2009 - 11:13 PM

well my DD is only 8 months, and my friend( no kids) tried telling me that im not supposed to be BF her still, i just laughed, and told her that i will wean her when im ready- its my DD its my choice.

edited for a typo

Edited by tash1569, 26 December 2009 - 11:13 PM.


#40 louise3now4

Posted 26 December 2009 - 11:14 PM

I fed DD till she was 4. My two sons weaned themselves at 19 and 20 months (heartbreakers). I used to tell people, "he is still a baby, and since WHO recommends till 2 minimum and my first fed till she was 4, this little darling is at no risk of mummy dumping him anytime soon". For my daughter I was not as quick to bite back, I would tell them that when she stopped wanting it, I would stop giving it.

#41 key4

Posted 26 December 2009 - 11:52 PM

I think you have done a great job on making it that far GOOD ON YOU!

If you are still able to and happy to feed why on earth would you want to introduce milk via bottle or cup? Feeding is so much easier than remembering all the utensils otherwise required.

I went to a lecture on Breastfeeding thru a medical school and the average age mothers around the world feed their children to is 4, so you have 3 good years left.

#42 Sprungli

Posted 29 December 2009 - 08:53 AM

You've got to wonder why people make comments like that.

Are they concerned for the mother (should have more freedom by now)?

Or for the child (should be independent from the mother by now)?

It can't be a health concern for the child (human milk is obviously healthier than cow's).

Maybe it just flies in the face of what they consider to be "normal" - a kind of latter-day witch hunt, based on ignorance.

#43 anon60

Posted 29 December 2009 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE
Oh, I don't want to get breast-cancer in the future, and this is a very good preventative thing to do, for as long as we want to carry on, so maybe I will be feeding as my baby goes in the school gate - who knows


Umm, 2 of the 3 women in my circle to get BRCA, bf 4 babies each for at least 12months per child.

Edited by anon60, 29 December 2009 - 09:02 AM.


#44 Monstercroc

Posted 29 December 2009 - 09:08 AM

QUOTE (anon60 @ 29/12/2009, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Umm, 2 of the 3 women in my circle to get BRCA, bf 4 babies each for at least 12months per child.


I don't think anyone said breastfeeding is a guarantee you won't get breast cancer. There will always be an exception to the rule. You'll get just as many people saying "Oh but my friend breastfed her baby and he was always sick but my formula fed baby wasn't", it's anecdotal.

In response to "Are you still feeding?!" I usually reply with,

"Yes we are, isn't it wonderful?"

"Yeah, we're hoping to get to two years. Anything beyond that is a bonus"

and my favorite....

"Yes....why do you ask?"

That one ^^ leaves people to have to explain why you shouldn't be breastfeeding which puts them on the spot rather than you!

I usually make a point of letting family and friends know at some stage that I will be aiming for two years so it's not shock to them if they see us still feeding at 18m +.

#45 MrsWidget

Posted 29 December 2009 - 09:17 AM

QUOTE
smiled brightly and said "Yes, isn't it wonderful?". He couldn't say much to that and the subject was changed

Love this response. DS still feds 2-3 times a day. Mainly at morning and night so it's not something that most people see or know we do. So I don't shout it from the rooftops but I also don't keep it a secret IYKWIM.

Really I wonder why it's a topic so many feel it's their business to comment on.  It's not like it affects them. shrug.gif

#46 anon60

Posted 29 December 2009 - 09:20 AM

QUOTE (Super Cat @ 29/12/2009, 10:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't think anyone said breastfeeding is a guarantee you won't get breast cancer. There will always be an exception to the rule. You'll get just as many people saying "Oh but my friend breastfed her baby and he was always sick but my formula fed baby wasn't", it's anecdotal.


HAving studies Stats and research design, I understand the difference between data and anecdote and that multiple anecdotes do not equal proof. I was responding to "Mollysheepdog" and what she would say. The whole "prevents BRCA" encourages false sense of security.

ETA: the subtext also, is that if one develops BRCA and didn't bf, that one is somehow to blame for their own cancer. That is the logical next step to the notion that bf prevents BRCA.

Edited by anon60, 29 December 2009 - 09:24 AM.


#47 ~Meand3~

Posted 29 December 2009 - 11:22 AM

I always get it off bottle feeders so i just turn the question round on to them lol soon shuts them up biggrin.gif

#48 acemummy

Posted 29 December 2009 - 12:17 PM

I would have loved to Breastfeed my DD1 (now two) for much longer than what I did, but unfortunatly due to low milk supply and Naeivity (SPELL) It didn't happen.  At one point I did try and use re lactation, and so mentioned to feed on and off for six months.  At one stage when not feeding, I decided, to try and give her a little milk.  She had a runny nose for a few days and this helped so much.  

I am now feeding my DD2 who is four months, she is very petite, so I wonder when I will get the negative comments.  I am setting myself small breastfeeding goals, and at one stage I was getting pushed down the road already traveled., but I knew this time was different.  I really hope to be breastfeeding DD2 for a long time yet.

SO congratulations on reaching  one year.  

I love some of the other comments especially the milk ones, and the kid coming home with the car keys. laugh.gif

Perhaps, you could say, so many people have problems feeding, we have been so lucky / blessed to be able to do this.

MY best friend is breastfeeding her son who is now 2.5 years.  She get's are you still feeding him,  though she doesn't feed in public, never really did. One of the great thing though is her DS had a lot of food allergies and thanks to her BF him they have mostly gone.  

Of course all negative comments are usually from people who have never had children, or who could not breastfeed.

Keep going you are doing a wonderful job. cclap.gif  ddance.gif  bbighug.gif

#49 Datrys

Posted 29 December 2009 - 12:31 PM

I think people comment because of the over-sexualisation of breasts in our culture.  They think (subconsciously) that once a baby gets beyond being really small, and is able to understand more about interacting with different people, that they shouldn't be seeing, touching etc, mum's breasts anymore.  So they are uncomfortable with a child who is walking, talking etc, but still feeding.  It's rather sad and says more about how they understand the role of women and our bodies, than anything else, I think.

#50 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 01 January 2010 - 12:12 PM

QUOTE
I will just say that the WHO recommends feeding until 2 years of age and beyond
This is usually my response.




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