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Grad Mums #39
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Posted 31 January 2010 - 04:09 PM
Have been reading, but just not posting for some reason. Not feeling chatty, I guess Good to hear everyone's news, though.
Moi, welcome! Nice to see you in here! Are you sick of all the comments about 'a boy at last' yet?? Maybe you don't get them; I sure did!! It drove me batty.
Speaking of things driving me batty, if another person asks me if this pregnancy was 'planned' I think I will deck them! Seriously, I have had this comment at least twice a day for 2 weeks now and it is really starting to get to me. Its not just the frequency of the comment, its the whole premise - i find it intrusive, rude and laden with their own expectations of what a family should look like, and how many kids we should have. Anyhoo. Best not dwell on these things!
Sam, good to hear that Sylvie is eating more and not gagging. That is great.
Jo, Angus has been feeding himself everything for a few months now - he won't even let me feed him yoghurt, so he pretty much needs a bath after every meal
Schooling - we are going public too.
ok, gotta go make pumpkin risotto. Bye.
Posted 31 January 2010 - 05:18 PM
Jo/Caro - I am thinking at this stage we will probably go public. The idea of private was nice because it would give the kids a chance to be at school with their cousins, but ultimately.... Where they are happy is the choice we will make. At the moment AJ is enrolled for preschool with Calwell Primary where I went, and we will just go from there. I am still researching school fees, but that is just because I like researching
Caro - That is such an awful assumption for people to make!! I haven't been asked that yet, but then again the bulk of people are assuming it is my first because of my age The way I see it, I have a full time job with Mat leave, a house of my own and I have everything I need - who gives two hoots about age!!!!!
BTW - Pumpkin risotto sounds GREAT
Hi everyone else
AFM - Temora was great. It was a bit of a long drive, but the boys handled it very well, sleeping most of the way back. Got some great photos put up on FB as well
Bit worse for wear today with a bit of back pain, but I put that down to being almost half way into a pregnancy
Posted 31 January 2010 - 05:18 PM
I forgot to say welcome to moi Welcome moi!
Caro: That is so rude. Someone asked me that when I was pregnant with Erin, and I found it quite offensive. For the next person who asks, tell them some graphic detail story about a raunchy moment of passion and give LOTS of "details". Guaranteed they won't ask you again!
Hi everyone else!
Posted 31 January 2010 - 05:36 PM
Sam, there's a Baby Lead Weaning thread somewhere that might be good for you and Sylvie . I've got the book on order from the library .
Grace , I had morning tea with Tash today and she told me how sweet Felicity is .
Lauren , I think I know your dh - he spent a bit of time sorting out my DS2 last year ! My DS2 freaks out horribly whenever I'm pregnant, poor kid - he wasn't so bad when I was pregnant the time before last, but the time before that he ended up seeing the junior school counsellor as well!
Anyway, only DD1 is in middle school this year, which is a bit of a relief because I much prefer junior and senior school ! Middle school at Burgmann is still finding its feet - I can only hope the seperate campus helps but I'm not that hopeful . There are some brilliant teachers, but some issues filter down from the top ...
Deanne , nice to see you at the ballet open day - you're a brave brave woman because that place terrifies me! I am SO not organised enough to be a ballet mum! I didn't realise I'd need the exact change for EVERYTHING I bought there, so ended up having to have two coffees across the road to get enough change .
Oh, and was there a Molly who sewed her daughter's ballet costumes on EB a couple of years ago? I seem to remember her and thought I recognised her manning the ballet stall (and telling me that for exams, my 5yo would need a brand NEW ballet uniform ).
Caro, how rude! After years of fielding impolite comments and questions, we're now pretty happy with "yes, they're all planned but we're determined to keep going until we have one we like" .
Posted 31 January 2010 - 06:39 PM
Kristen: Treat it like a big game. And yep, Molly was manning the ballet stall. Not sure if she is from EB or not. She wrote the Dummies Guide to Ballet that is on their website and did an awesome job of updating it last year. She is one of the team of very dedicated ballet mums. She is also the lady who sews the ribbons on the character skirts, apparently. For the exams, their uniforms do need to be in top condition. You can often get away with not buying a new one, but those hailspot skirts are a bugger. When you wash the hailspot skirt, just hang it straight up and don't take an iron to it unless you really have to. They have to be stiff. Hanging them up in the steam of the bathroom helps them to uncrumple and stay stiffish. At exam time, you MAY be able to get away with ironing and starching it. You will always need new tights and a spare pair for exams and performances, so pays to have a few spares in the drawer. I usually buy a pair every time I go near the ballet shop, just in case! Oh, and PM me for the name of the NICE ballet shop that doesn't let you down at exam time. Oh and for exams and performances, get in really early with anything that you need to buy from the ballet shops. For exams, though, I bougth a whole new uniform the first year because I was neurotic. I only bought a hailspot skirt for last year's exam because hers wasn't in good shape. The rest was fine (and I think the leotard was from the year before! ) Her shoes, I gave a wipe over with a not-too-damp cloth (or they will shrink - learnt that the hard way! ) Remind me to email you my summary of Erin's first ever ballet performance. It will either make you laugh or cry! But, seriously, stress enough to make it look like you care about getting it right for exams and performances (because then people won't mind helping you if they see that you are trying )but don't lose any sleep. It's a game. At the end of the day, there is not a parent there who would see another child miss out on an exam or performance without trying their darndest to help out.
Edited by darnie, 31 January 2010 - 06:42 PM.
Posted 31 January 2010 - 06:49 PM
All I'm going to say is you ladies REALLY love your daughters
Still haven't started contacting. But I did do some filing, bake a few cakes, make lots of baby food and a lovely dinner for the carnivores in the house, cleaned out and organised the pantry, sorted out the cloth nappies so they are easier for dh to use and so on... you know, everything but the contacting But now I have to have a shower and get started 'cause there is nothing else that needs doing. Damn.
All the best to all the kindy kids tomorrow, such an exciting day! Personally I cried more when my big girls went to preschool - be sure to let us know if you have a big blubber
Oh and from the mouth of an almost-9-yr-old when we discussing something that demonstrated our 25 yr age gap - her: "you're not cool Mum" me: "am I not even a little bit cool?" her: "you're probably about halfway between lame and cool". Who even knew she knew the word lame? I'm becoming quite glad we're dumping the foxtel next month!
Posted 31 January 2010 - 07:08 PM
Ok ladies (especially Caroline as you know the place). Jade had her 2 half days of daycare last thursday and friday. She is in the babies room. She often has a sleep around 9 or 10am for an hour and a half. Her daycare has a "rest period" between 12 and 1pm where the babies are encouraged to rest and the lights dimmed ect. On both days I arrived just as this period was starting and Jade was very upset. On Thusday I will say she was getting tired but on Friday I have worked out that she slept 930am to 11am, had lunch and then at 12 they were trying to get her to "rest". She is 13 months old and the only time I get her to sit down is when she is in the high chair or car
I have never heard of a nursery having a dedicated rest time as babies seem to sleep all over the place. There are seperate cot rooms there so the children have a quiet place to sleep and I cant see why they need to enforce this rest period and pack toys away and make the room dark ect. I really think that this rest time is smack bang in the middle of Jades playtime and them trying to force her to rest is distressing her and totally stressing me out. I was feeling very happy and confident about leaving her but now I am feeling very stressed and worried about it.
I think they do let some of the kids have a quiet play but the more I think about Friday the more I cant get my head around the whole rest period thing.
What should I do? How should I approach the carers? The seem very confident and professional and I dont want to get them offside as they have to care for my beautiful baby girl and its not like I can waltz into another centre and secure another place.
Sorry for my woe is me, huge post. I have been thinking about it non-stop for nearly 48 hours and need to get it off my chest.
Posted 31 January 2010 - 07:22 PM
All I'm going to say is you ladies REALLY love your daughtersIn my case, I was just too gullible to know what I was getting myself in for And now that we are there, Erin loves it so much that we can't back out! And to be honest, she is 5 years old, has been passionate about ballet for 2 years, and has had the goal of going en pointe for 18 months. Nothing else has sparked such passion or encouraged goals that she so seriously wants to strive for. So, we just figure that we've found her niche for now, we'll do what we can to support her and we just go with the flow. It is a lot of palaver, but I just don't worry about it anymore. I laugh about it and treat it as a game, otherwise the stress would kill me! And, really, I am just thrilled that we have found an activity that Erin loves. It doesn't really matter whether we love it or not. That's what we keep telling ourselves anyway... We are thinking about enrolling Erin in a ballet summer school in a couple of years. We figure it will either make her commit even more or hate it completely, and if it makes her hate it, then there's our out! And we're not even going to think about what will happen if she loves it...
Posted 31 January 2010 - 08:39 PM
Thanks for the welcome girls.
but some issues filter down from the topCouldn't agree more! lol
Hi Caro! Haven't talked to you for a while! Congrats on #4. The worst comment I get frequently is 'Oh aren't you lucky!' when I tell them #3 is a boy. Lucky baby is healthy, yes!
Posted 31 January 2010 - 08:44 PM
Shelly, I actually didn't realise they did that I'm pretty sure they didn't do that when Angus first started, as he wasn't having a rest in the middle of the day at that stage either. (He had so much trouble settling in when he first started, due to several late-to-be-diagnosed ear infections, that I spent a lot of time there reassuring him). I must say, as a veteran of 3 child care centres, that this is the first place where I feel really comfortable about challenging things, especially if they don't suit my kids (or my parenting ideals ) I have raised a few things directly with the room leaders/carers, but because I also have a good rapport with the director, I will sometimes ask her why something is done a certain way, and is it possible to tweak it a little to suit my child. She has usually been pretty accommodating, and has consulted with carers to come up with a solution. For eg, I don't like my kids watching TV/DVD's when the other kids do, so my kids are given special 'cleaning jobs' or 'craft projects' when the TV is on. I also got them to give Angus everything as finger foods when all the other kids were eating purees.
Seriously, I would just talk to Mel, Sue or Kate about it. Raise it in the context of getting Jade settled in, and I'm sure they'll be quite sympathetic and anxious to come up with a solution. I agree, it seems odd to enforce a set rest time when not all babies have a sleep in the middle of the day
Posted 31 January 2010 - 10:26 PM
Shelly, I don't know the centre (obviously) but ours does that in the toddler room (18 months up) and it seems appropriate at that age, but goodness not at 13 months. Sylvie still has her two sleeps a day 6 days out of 7 and would not cope well with a middle of the day sleep being imposed on her. I'd definitely have a chat and from what Caroline says, it sounds like it would be fine to as their reasoning and perhaps if something different can be done for Jade. She's only little still.
Deanne, that's gorgeous I think there is a pretty awesome life lesson being learnt there too. Finding and focussing on a goal at that age is fabulous. Neither of my big girls have ever been that nuts about anything - yet!
Okay got all Charlie's books covered. Wil do Josie's tomorrow night... almost two hours of contact hell is enough for one night...
Posted 01 February 2010 - 09:08 AM
Shelly - rest time for babies seems very odd!!! I can't imagine trying to explain that to an active 13mth old! I always used to fel sorry for Jemima's carers because she did not sleep at daycare and so there would be times when almost every other kid was asleep and she was still bouncing off the walls! In fact, a few times she did sleep and we got called because they thought she must be sick! LOL
Nic - I do have a pekemoe - it's winter weight but happy to send it your way if you're interested in giving it a go? We ended up stopping using it because she couldn't put her own dummy back in with her hands covered, but I think it did help in other ways. Can't remember if you said Elena sleeps with dummy?
Ballet Mums - brings back memories! I did ballet for 12 or 13 years and highland for gosh about 20 I think and loved it so much. Exams and concerts were so much fun - dressing up, make up, excitement! My mum was always great with costumes too and really enjoyed designing and making them. Kind of hoping Jemima likes it too - provided Grandma does all th sewing!!
We've just done the move to a big (well, toddler) bed and it's been great. I think J just hated her cot (actually I did too - ugly thing that looked way better in the shop to a hormonal pregnant woman who had to BUY EVERYTHING NOW than to a rational mother dealing with realities of small room!).
Anyway, must get back to work...
Posted 01 February 2010 - 09:44 AM
My mum was always great with costumes too and really enjoyed designing and making them.Erin will never be telling anyone that about her mum. She'll be saying "Mum always sucked at sewing, hair and makeup. She was the one who paid other people to do it because she just sucked so badly"
Posted 01 February 2010 - 11:24 AM
As some of you know, I have issues with my MIL. One of my major peeves of late is her telling Alex he is naughty. Not only is he not naughty, he doesn't even understand what naughty actually is.
Well yesterday they were over and he thought it would be fun to spin around and make himself dizzy. Funny to start with until he fell over and nearly hurt himself and I told him that was enough, no more etc.
Well he started again and I told him to stop and she just looked at him and said "No Alex, Naughty". I mean really!!! He was spinning around in circles for crying out loud.
Nellie - She does use a dummy but her issue is more that she knocks it out rather than can't put it in. But she is getting her arms up with the woombie as well and knocking it out anyway. I am trying to get her off wraps completely and wondered if the pekemoe might be a helpful step. She sometimes falls asleep without it and doesn't like being restricted anymore but she is still a touch too unsettled without it.
Deanne - Or she could say "My mum loved me so much she was willing to pay for professionals to do it because she wanted me to look perfect".
Either way, it's an admirable effort!!!
Posted 01 February 2010 - 01:24 PM
Nic: I feel your pain, my MIL and i are not close and its usually a strained effort for both of us!
Shelly: Like caro and Sam said, i would discuss it with them. I think what they are describing is the same as most toddlers rooms but in a babies room it should be when the baby needs sleep. I used tgo work in daycare and the babies room was my favourite. I've just had nice/gushy memories of the centre i used to work at, if i had to put Max in daycare, thats were i would want him to go
nellieb: Sorry i cant remember how old your daughter is? well done on the move to a bed, how is she going with it? Like staying in at sleep time etc?
Sam: have fun with more contacting tonight, at least theres lots of good shows returning tonight!! I am VERY excited!
Jack is off to school on wednesday and Maxs daysleeps seem to be finally in a lovely pattern of about 2 -2.5 hrs in the middle of the day. And now that the boys school is so close to home, i am feeling so much more relaxed and routine organised! I've worked out that it really is quicker for me to walk than it is to drive (DH and i tested it the other day-i was 3 houses away from home when he pulled in driveway!) SO i am happy to know that its good for me, the environment and my petrol bill!
Actually everything feels good except for the part when i imagine leaving Jack on wednesday. Sam, did you have different emotions between Charlie and Josie going to school? I felt so fine when Blake started but i am so anxious and nervous for Jack. I think the fact that Blake was 5yrs and 8months when he started and Jack is only just 5 starting school is a big part of the problem. Max has only just started sitting down with the boys to watch TV(and it doesnt last long-he is just to active!) and he satright up next to Jack this morning watching ABC kids while i mopped the floor and i got sad thinking that he cant just 'chill' out anymore! And then i was relaying the story to my friend and realised i had tears in my eyes!
Oh dear, my babies are getting big, i just cant get over how much has happened in their lives and how far we have all come together!
Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:12 PM
Shelly: Like caro and Sam said, i would discuss it with them. I think what they are describing is the same as most toddlers rooms but in a babies room it should be when the baby needs sleep.
They are still letting her sleep when she wants but then wanting her to "rest" again at rest time even though it is only an hour after she last woke up (well that was the case on Friday).
Thanks everyone. I know what they are doing is common in the Toddler room but she is in the babies room. Most of the kids are older than her which is why they probably do it (there's no small babies - doesnt seem to be anyone under the age of 1). I will talk to them and see how it goes.
Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:25 PM
I just baked a chocolate cake but slipped when I was getting it out of the pan, so now I have about 5 chocolate cakes
Shelly - Good luck. I would approach the room leader first, and if you don't get the solution you are after, then go to the director. I think it is unreasonable to expect Jade to rest in that situation, especially given what a live wire she is! Billy starts in the tiny toddler room on Wednesday, but his sleep coincides with their sleep time already which makes life much easier.
Posted 01 February 2010 - 07:46 PM
Sorry Shelly, I got confused - though I still think it's odd. Hope the chat goes well.
Posted 01 February 2010 - 08:29 PM
*sigh* I think I am in one of those moods where I shouldn't be let near other people. Feeling tired and down. Over it, really.
Shelly: I find that the childcare people in Alice's room welcome discussion about things. Like the others said, if you talk to them about it, you will probably find them very willing to come to a compromise. Good luck!
nellieb: I just had a thought. If you did ballet for 12-13 years, you'd be really good at hair and makeup, right?
Neither of my big girls have ever been that nuts about anything - yet!Savour that moment, I say! I hope the contacting continues to go well.
Leonie: I can't answer your question about different feelings for different boys, but I know that I am struggling with Erin starting school on Wednesday I am sure they will all be fine. Sometimes I think that I worry way more about things than Erin ever does! Take ballet tonight for example. I was almost in tears because I thought I had done the wrong thing agreeing that she go into a harder grade. She came home tonight, so excited and asking why she couldn't stay longer! Hopefully the first day at kindergarten will be like that for our darlings too
Nic: I think that your MIL's approach may not be uncommon to that generation. Not that I am defending your MIL. I would be the last person to defend inlaws. My MIL is ok but man, don't get me started on FIL.
Jo: I had a little giggle about the cake but not too much of a giggle that karma will get me when I try to make cupcakes for childcare in a minute. It is Erin's last day of childcare tomorrow.
Caro: How are things going? Settling down for you yet?
Everyone else: Hi!
Me: Yeah, all good, I guess. Not much to tell. We've booked our trip to Singapore/Malaysia & Hong Kong later in the year. Off to Sydney this weekend to catch up with Mum, Dad & my sister. They will be over for the Military Tattoo. After that, we will be staying at home forever, saving leave and money for our trip. Oh, actually, I am going to the Gold Coast for a few days in March to catch up with some EB friends from my DIG, but that has been planned forever. Alice is copying everything now. She dropped something tonight and I heard this little voice say "Oh, Man!" I am glad she didn't copy me earlier when I dropped something, otherwise I'd be in the process of teaching her not to say "Oh, Sh*t!"
I'd better go and make these cupcakes, I guess.
Posted 01 February 2010 - 08:50 PM
Mmmcupcakes. I could have a hummingbird cupcake about now. Deanne - I'm very jealous that you're going to all these places and esp miltary tattoo. My dream is to see them live and not even turning 30 was special enough for DH to splurge on tix for me
Lauren - I'm in constant denial that Filly's 6 months on Friday. Just doesn't seem real at all! Let me know when pics are up - can't wait to see how diff your son looks to his newborn pics
Kristen - naww so Tash didn't share the bit how Filly cries so hard while her head was getting worked on? No? I wonder why she doesn't like it. I quite like adjustments around the head/neck area.
Nic - ERGH MIL... you know how I feel about mine! I was cringing when she taught Filly to bang on the table for food. I finally said, "oh stop it, that's such a bad habit" the night before we flew back. I sent you a PM the other day, did you get it?
Jo - need a hand in eating those cakes?
Better google something easy to make for mother's group tmrw.
Have a good night ladies!
Edited by Cantabile, 01 February 2010 - 08:51 PM.
Posted 01 February 2010 - 09:38 PM
Contacting is done! Turns out I had 21 books in the end. Of course I totally found my rhythm by about book 15 but only got to enjoy it briefly
Deanne - my girls are also not allowed to go nuts about anything that requires cost for the short-medium term - one income and four kids means they have limited activities. And of course once we can afford more activities, we'll be time poor!
Today was the tipping point with Sylvie's walking it seems, she is choosing to walk rather than crawl and has walked over 20 steps in a row several times. She has also added intonation to her skill set, so I get a "muu-uuum" when she is trying to find me vs a "mum!" when she just wants my attention
Posted 01 February 2010 - 09:54 PM
Sam: Yay to Sylvie and her walking! And enjoy that muu-uuum thing while it remains cute! Yes, it is a fine balance between time and money, isn't it? I would like to give up work and have more time, but all of the things that I (and the girls) like to do cost money so I am not sure that would work. That made me sound so selfish...
Deanne - I'm very jealous that you're going to all these places and esp miltary tattoo.I'll try to ease your pain by telling you that we aren't going to the military tattoo It was a 60th Birthday Present for my Mum. My sister, brother & I shared the cost and we included tickets for my Mum, Dad & my sister in it because we were worried that Mum & Dad would have trouble getting around Sydney on their own; especially now that Dad tends to need help to get around. My sister is also flying up with them because she won't be too afraid to ask for help on the plane for Dad if he needs it! For us to go, we would have had to pay for our own tickets and we just couldn't afford it. We also didn't think the girls (Alice) would sit still for that long. Our main reason for going to Sydney is that Mum, Dad & my sister are coming from Tasmania and it wouldn't go down that well if they'd come that close to Canberra and didn't get to see the girls (and us). We are going to our favourite steakhouse for dinner instead of the tattoo. Cheaper and much easier! The overseas trip has been a while in the making. We are predominantly going to visit friends.
Oh and the cupcakes are gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free, nut-free, taste-free so they aren't terribly exciting! They are chocolate (cocoa) flavoured, though!
Edited by darnie, 01 February 2010 - 09:55 PM.
Posted 02 February 2010 - 07:18 AM
Deanne, I will have to get the recipe off you!! AJ turns four on his first day back at EIU preschool, and seeing as it is a brand new class, I won't know what kind of allergies there are.
I hope your parents enjoy the tattoo! One of my very good friends is in it, and she sent me a text during rehearsal saying it's going to be a good show
Grace - Wow, six months already!?! Time flies!! I am in shock a little at the thought of already being almost half way through my pregnancy when I promised to savour every minute this time!!
Nic - my MIL is very similar... I just do what I can to ignore her, or more often than not DH just flat out tells her to leave the parenting to us
AFM - I suppose I better start getting some work done... I am just so tired and sore!! I went to Aquarobics for the first time last night and it is HARD WORK!! Felt so good afterwards though
Posted 02 February 2010 - 07:33 AM
Damn. Lost my post. Well a quick summary:
Re: MIL. I wish DH would say something but he is not the confrontational type. I know it's probably a generational thing but I think this time it was more just because all he was doing was spinning in circles. To me I don't see how that can be even remotely considered naughty. But DH knows he will be saying something if she keeps it up. I don't want my kids growing up thinking they are naughty children. Doing naughty things is one thing, but being naughty is different.
Oh and the cupcakes are gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free, nut-free, taste-free so they aren't terribly exciting! They are chocolate (cocoa) flavoured, though!
Sam - Yay to Sylvia's full time walking!!!
Jo - LoL, did the cakes taste good at least? I think I saw you at Borders the other day...
Grace - Yep I know how you feel!! And yes I did get your PM. I think I replied to it loosely in here instead of in the PM. Fuzzy brain...
All these little kiddies off to school!!! I still have 3 years before that happens...
Posted 02 February 2010 - 08:24 AM
Nic - I'll dig it out for you - it was good for a little bit of freedom before a sleeping bag. Although I confess I am not sure there's anything we didn't experiment with to make her sleep! Gosh I wish she'd never outgrown the hammock!!
Darnie - I'm pretty decent at hair if you ever need a hand
boymakingmachine - she's 16mths. we do have a lot of getting in and out of it before she finally falls asleep but it's not really for any longer time than she used to do zoomies in her cot so it's not taking longer to get her off to sleep. and she so far hasn't hopped out in the middle of the night - although has taken to coming in to us when she wakes up in the morning.
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