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IVF multiple cycles & the long Haul Proposed Buddy Group

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#1 stillinhope

Posted 13 April 2010 - 02:03 PM

Hi There,
i am gauging interest for a new buddy group.
i have been TTC for 4.5 years and had 3 failed ivf cycles and about to start my 4th. I wondered if there are others in my position, with multiple failure however many, unexplained infertility or just being on this journey for a very long time who need support....
There were some old buddy groups for this sort of thing but not so much now.
If you're in a simillar position we may be able to get a new group started for us...

#2 spring08

Posted 16 April 2010 - 01:40 PM

hi stillinhope,

I've been TTC1 for 2.5 years, into my 4/5th stim cycle - unexplained and pretty exhausted by it all. I've been using the RSGG group for support - there are a mix of first timers and others. I think a group for people who have done multiple cycles would be a good idea, but in the meantime, please feel free to come and join RSGG.

#3 cheshire_cat

Posted 16 April 2010 - 03:25 PM

hi stillinhope,

Yes I would definitely join this group if it existed. I'm just starting my 4th cycle too. Not sure how many people would be needed, and how 'multiple cycles' would be specifically defined? (not wanting to exclude people)

#4 HollywoodWannabe

Posted 16 April 2010 - 05:17 PM

Hi Stillinhope
A long haul buddy group sounds good to me, I don't get to the computer all that often but it would be great to check in wih others every now and then. I have just completed my 17th cycle with another BFN.

#5 Little~Oggy

Posted 16 April 2010 - 05:21 PM

I use to be a member of one - the 'issues with involuntary childless'.

My one word of advice is to decide from the outset if you want to have people involved that many already have children. Are you looking for a safe haven for those that have none or will you take on board members with children.

#6 carita

Posted 16 April 2010 - 07:27 PM

I'm happy to jump on board as well. We've  just done our 4th stim cycle and have also had 3 FETs along the way. Seems like forever ago that our life was normal!

Having said that...

HollywoodWannabe-wow...I don't feel like such a long haul after seeing what you've been through!

#7 stillinhope

Posted 19 April 2010 - 10:25 AM

Great, i'll contact the regulator and see if i can get her to set it up!
I'll keep you all posted.

Good advice Little~Oggy, i think it should be for those who dont yet have children as there are groups already for TTC with children.

Multiple cycles - i guess anything above 1. I know i would have joined after my first failed cycle.  Obviously HollywoodWannabe you have had a very hard time but i hope we can still be of support to you and no doubt you can be to the rest of us...

Thanks all..

#8 JJ01

Posted 19 April 2010 - 10:34 AM

Hi Ladies

Would this group apply to only women who havent yet had a baby?

The reason I ask is that we have been TTC # 2 for 3 1/2 years, have done 9 rounds of clomid, 2 rounds of IVF, lost our 1 embie that was good out of 21 at 13 weeks last christmas and I am just about to go to EPU on my 3rd round of IVF

I have really been struggling with all of this and would love to be able to chat and get some of my feelings out with other whom understand

#9 Rangeman

Posted 19 April 2010 - 01:25 PM

Hi Girls,

I'd like to be included too........i have no children as yet and in Jun/Jul I'm going for ICSI number 10.


#10 lisaxxx

Posted 20 April 2010 - 12:36 PM

Hi Ladies,
I would like to be included as well, my next cycle will be my 8th IVF attempt.

#11 Chill-Pill

Posted 20 April 2010 - 10:07 PM

All the best with your buddy group, I think its a great idea original.gif

Edited by wishful*thinkin, 21 April 2010 - 09:46 AM.

#12 Little~Oggy

Posted 21 April 2010 - 08:49 AM

My advice would be to have two separate groups - one for those with children already and one for those without.

As there are different formats of Primary Infertility - there is PI without children and those that are PI (that where infertile and used treatment to have child and are hoping for another) with children.

#13 stillinhope

Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:05 AM

Hi Ladies,

Share away!

At this stage we are going to stay here, so feel free to start sharing. The group will be for TTC baby #1. with multiple cycles of IVF.

Most of you so far have said where your at in the process, questions and stats are good as are sharing the emotional side of things so we can all see that we're still normal and not going completley and utterly crazy!

I am waiting to start my next antag cycle with my first ICSI and the lovely additions of asprin, clexane, prednisolone and some other newies i cant remember. I have just finished one down reg cycle using these but only got one emby who implanted but sadly went away...
i cant imagine how those of you cope who have had 10 cycles...i was totally devestated but also thought i coped reasonable well, maybe i am getting a bit hardened to it all?...strange feeling.

I will say that i am feeling happier with my new FS and clinic and know that they are trying very hard and trying different things,  so i guess that give me some hope...

Anyone in TWW?

#14 zanon

Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:13 AM

Hi Ladies

I think this group suits me as well i have had 3 IUI and 8 attempts at IVF over the past 7 years I've also had 5 miscarriages in those attempts.At times I feel I am the only one going through this long haul but i'm sure we will all get there one day

Edited by zanon, 21 April 2010 - 09:13 AM.

#15 Rangeman

Posted 21 April 2010 - 11:14 AM

Hello Ladies,

Stillinhope - my next cycle is going to be similar to yours I'm going to be a walking chemist shop.......DHEA, prednisone, clexane, baby asprin, metformin, CQ10, provera (after TFR) you name in I think I'm gonna be on it.  I'm having a little break until Jun/Jul though and it will give some the DHEA a chance to start working hopefully.

Look forward to chatting to you all,

#16 spring08

Posted 21 April 2010 - 01:28 PM

hi ladies,

Wow, so many of you have had such a long journey with this, you are so strong to keep going.  

Just back from EPU#5, not good that they now recognise me there!  They got 10 eggs, though I expect at least 2-3 will be immature based on the sizes on my last scan.  This was another antag. cycle, and I've been taking CoQ10 for a while hoping it will help egg quality.

We are unexplained - I generally get decent egg numbers, and everything goes well up until about day 3 when the embies start to slow down. Have tfr'd 3 blasts from the previous 4 cycles - none ever made it to freeze.

My anaesthitist (sorry, still fuzzy, can't spell) told me it took him 7 rounds and that it's a numbers game - sometimes hearing that drives me crazy - anyone else?

Looking forward to chatting with you all.

#17 cheshire_cat

Posted 21 April 2010 - 07:14 PM

Spring, welcome back from EPU- starting off with ten embies is great and hopefully you won't lose too many! Yeah, the 'numbers game' thing has started to lose meaning for me, I've heard it enough times. I just want to hear that it will work.

Ladies, wow there are some of you that are such troopers, going at this for so long. Makes my journey seems pretty short in comparison.

Seems like we are due for some good luck around here soon.

#18 stillinhope

Posted 22 April 2010 - 09:17 AM

Rambles & Offload - sorry!!

It never ceases to amaze me how many people are going through this, we women are quite amazing to be able to keep going and going and still find some hope - which i know is the ultimate challenge.

Sometimes i find it all becomes about how am i going to cope, how am i going to manage the plethera of meds and what is wrong with everyone else that they keep saying stupid things to me, like "stop obsessing about it" me: say what? yeah i'll do that, right away!!!! Rather than about my end goal...although that has now changed somewhat as as good emby results and bfp is my first goal...

Spring - oohh you're now in the final stage, yay! hope you got good emby results, i guess you might find out today? and good luck for TF this week..and TWW - we're here for you.
CoQ10 - did your FS prescribe this or are you just taking it on your own? what does it do? i read its for heart function or something.
I dont really believe its a numbers game, that seems to superseed the whole scientific side of it for me. Drives me crazy too..My old fs used to tell me to hang in there we'll get there, but mean while her bank balance is getting fat and mine very skinny!

#19 spring08

Posted 23 April 2010 - 12:16 PM

hi all,

we now have 5 embryos - 2x2 cell and 3x4 cell. fingers crossed they continue to develop and I have a good blast for tfr on Monday and I would absolutely love to get something in the freezer. Although I try not to get my hopes up too much now I find it really hard and have to hope that this will still work. How do you all balance the competing emotions of hoping this will work, and trying to protect yourself in case it doesn't again?  

stillinhope, agree that there is no way to take my mind off this, especially during a cycle. I read about CoQ10 here - according to Blackmores - CoQ10 a powerful antioxidant. It provides support for cellular energy production and helps maintain normal healthy functioning of the heart. I hope it can help my eggs and embies.

hope you all have a great weekend.

#20 stillinhope

Posted 23 April 2010 - 04:03 PM

Spring08 - thats great news! 5 embys is a good result. smile1.gif My last 2 cycles i only got 1 so 5 is good.! I hope too that they keep growing strong and you can get some rest over the weekend. Eat lots of happy food!!

Hows everyone else traveling?

#21 HollywoodWannabe

Posted 24 April 2010 - 07:29 AM

Hi everyone,
a little bit about me first:
We have had 2 ectopic pregnancies and lost both fallopian tubes so IVF is our only hope. Over the last 7 years we have had 12 IVF and 5 FET, one of the IVF was through egg donation from my sister ( love her ) every one has resulted in a BFN. We are not sure what is next for us, we have made an appointment to discuss our other options with a new dr at a new clinic , possibly even looking at surrogacy.

Have you heard how those little embies are travelling? Waiting is the hardest part of it all.
stillinhope I find that trying different meds and other types of cycle helps me feel like I am really doing something new to help, I can't just continually do the same cycles over and over. I have also found that I react differently to a BFN every cycle, sometimes relief that it is all over, other times devastation and then sometimes indifferent. When are you looking at starting your next cycle?
Kimbar enjoy your break, can be nice to feel normal for a change
Zanon it is hard to believe we have spent the whole 7 years of our marriage trying to get pregnant, when you start out you never imagine you would still be doing the same thing 7 years later with no result. What do you plan do next?
Carita  I still can't believe we are 17 cycles down the track, The cycle I found the hardest was my 5 cycle. It just seemed to be the point where we realised that this wasn't going to come easy.  I have heard others say the same thing about their 5 cycle. Where are you in your cycle at the moment?

To everyone I missed, have a great weekend !

#22 BeYOUtiful

Posted 24 April 2010 - 12:02 PM

ph34r.gif Just wanted to give hugs to Hollywood, and wanted to wish everyone the best in upcoming cycles.
Take care

#23 HollywoodWannabe

Posted 24 April 2010 - 09:52 PM

Thank you Jane x

#24 stillinhope

Posted 25 April 2010 - 06:31 PM

Hello Ladies,
have to say i am feeling very down at the moment. For some reason, which i dont know, i hired a dvd called Baby Mumma..what was i thinking??? I then decided on my own to watch it while DH was out this afternoon. While its a happy enough comedy, its about infertility and babies ofcourse - am i mental?  i think so.
Now im all cut and PO'd and now Dh has come home and i will at some point have to tell him why. I feel like an absolute idiot!
So moral of my ridiculous story is self preservation, somehow my sub conscious got the better of me and hired a not so helpful movie (i was thinking a comedy would be good for me!).
Chocolate pudding cure tonight i think!!

ps. HollywoodWannabe - im waiting to start my next cycle in aprox 2 weeks..or day 3 of next AF..i just wsnt to start so i feel like im going somewhere with all this....

#25 cheshire_cat

Posted 26 April 2010 - 08:44 PM

*********birth/kids mentioned***********

hugs stillinhope hhugs.gif Hope you're feeling a bit better. I'm the same- I have a strange fascination with baby-related movies, then I watch them & get all depressed! DH has now vetoed any movie with 'baby' in the title. (I always cry in the giving birth scene!)

Spring, Kimbar, Hollywood: hope you are all travelling well  original.gif

I've been a bit quiet lately because no much is going on- just popping the pill every day and waiting to start Synarel. Things have been delayed because FS has gone away. So, just getting on with things & trying not to think about it too much (although of course I'm still thinking about it all the time!).

Family lunch with in-laws & kids yesterday made DH & I a bit sad. He was so good playing with the kids, he's so fun and naughty, they love him. He'd be such a good dad... sad.gif

Edited by cheshire_cat, 26 April 2010 - 08:47 PM.

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