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September 05 Parents # 394
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Posted 06 May 2010 - 07:47 AM
New thread time ladies
Posted 06 May 2010 - 01:45 PM
I will try to post better soon. Those who saw on Facebook know yesterday was not a good day for me. I tell you all in more detail later (maybe tomorrow?)
All your kids sound like geniuses. Rosie is no where near any of that stuff. EVen some of Toby and Ella's. I feel really sad that I don't have anything to brag about . (Not that all you guys are bragging I think it's great you can tell us about your kids. I love hearing about them, just today I am a bit down. Please don't stop though. I love all of you and your kids, you are all really special to me.)
Maybe if I just wrote down everything she can do it would look better.
Even Alyssia, who is really bright, I have a hard time at the moment saying all her wonderful things and special abilities. There seems so many hard times with her we can't feel great about her. I think I need to see that and make a real effort to see the good and wonderful things in them that make my heart warm. In some ways it is easier for Rosie cause she has this character about her that makes you smile. She has a great sense of humour and just looses the plot in hysterics which is just so infectious.
Speaking of the difficult, IK need to go pick up A to have 2 teeth pulled. With her sensory stuff, super low pain tolerance and anxiety issues it will be fun.
The Dr said not to go to the Dentists who will give light sedation, she felt that was risky anad wouldn't advise unless an anaesthitist (SP?) is present. So they are just doing the local one and I am a bit apprehensive.
Talk to you guys soon.
Love to all.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 02:25 PM
Oh gosh Kirsten, that doesn't sound fun at all. Hope you are okay. I'm sorry you are feeling down atm. You know we all think you are doing a wonderful job with your kids in very difficult circumstances.
Edited by Kay1, 06 May 2010 - 02:35 PM.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 05:38 PM
Sorry for the downer post today. Having a bad one. I can think (when I am feeling happy) lots of great things about the kids. They are wonderful. Though Rosie is behind some of you guys kids. But preschool and the Paed and Dr and whatever are not worried so I will try not too.
There was a mix up with the dentist and she didn't get her teeth pulled. So the poor little thing had been all worried about it for nothing. I was slightly *ahem* "assertive" with the lady and she was slightly "assertive" back. The problem is it is the free clinic and you are on waiting lists and cannot just call and speaka to someone who is in charge of lists and appointments. So when I spoke to the call centre people about the extraction they didn't have the power to tell me this appointment would be the extraction. We were only on the waiting list for the filling and coating the adult molars. She has massive problems with her teeth as they don't develop the enamel so the adult molars already have major issues.
So despite the fact that we can't afford all the dental work she needs, we feel we cannot just keep waiting on waiting lists while her teeth crumble. We need to prioritise this for her future. So I have called Mum's dentist and they are squeezing us in really quickly. Plus I can spend ages telling the receptionist everything (poor receptionist ) and she was just lovely, so we can have good communication and no misunderstandings (and he can give her a little puffer thing to help relax her that is not a narcotic.)
I am feeling much better about her teeth now. Even though it took me a big emotional breakdown about this and another little thing. My moods are a bit all over the place since the whole Centrelink thing.
I hate that I ride such a rollercoaster over little things. Tomorrow I am seeing my psychologist so hopefully that will help. Plus a little time for me to normalise.
I will briefly explain the whole Centrelink thing.
Steven is on a scholarship for his PhD. He has been since Feb 07. Centrelink could never figure out how to put it in their system despite many times trying to explain on the phone. Eventually they said to just report it each fortnight, even if it was the saame each week. Then, when he did other work for different people around the uni to supplement the measly scholarship, I would just add that amount to the regular amount and report that. I have NEVER not reported his earnings.
Last September, somehow they were notified of his scholarship and thought I wasn't reporting it. I have no idea how that all happened. They then decided to back apply it to Feb 07. So it was being counted twice. They then thought, "well we have overpaid Kisten by ten thousand so she needs to give it all back". They also then started counting his scholarship and never told me not to report it. How they back applied it and didn't realise I was reporting that exact same amount I don't know. I am assuming they are just stupid.
So since last September our payments have dropped heaps. That is why we were always short of money and needing to dip into the money from DH's dad's estate that we had put onto our mortgage in the last 4 months.
I don't think I ever mentioned that here, so it might seem weird we haven't had enough money but could buy the car. Maybe we shouldn't have spent so much on the car. But, we were thinking of it as a long term purchase to get us through until the kids we pretty much adults (unless DH started earning super big bucks and we were able to upgrade more.)
I suppose I should have cottoned on that my payments had dropped, now looking back at our budget and account statements I can see what happened.
I don't want to necessarily go on and on about our financial situation, but you guys are some of my closest friends and apparently today I can't stop typing,
So, centrelink have seen their mistake but it will take time to get it all sorted. They will owe us money. My mum wants me to ask for interest since we have dipped into the mortgage, which we wouldn't have if they had been giving us the right amount. I am also thinking of writing a letter of complaint re them making a mistake and sending the bill without calling to try to clarify the issue back in September. It is very stressful having this happen and we have a lot of stress in our lives as it is. The thought of pokssibily having to pay them back ten grand, when we live on forty grand a year sent me into an emotional turmoil yesterday before we figured out what had happened.
Of course DH stayed calm throughout the whole thing.
If you guys got through all this, thankyou. I really needed to get it all out. (Wasn't brief though was it )
You guys truly are an amazing support and provide such great friendship for me.
I will do personals eventually.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 05:45 PM
Kirsten - Wow, no wonder you are stressed! That would have freaked me out utterly. In fact the teeth thing would probably do it on its own! I'm glad you have a good dentist to go through now and hopefully it will help. As for Centrelink I am completely with your mum on this one. If you wanted to write a letter and email it to me to "lawyer it up" I'm happy to do so. I am not 100% sure that Centrelink doesn't enjoy some sort of immunity against those sorts of claims but I can look into it. They should certainly have to pay interest on ordinary principles.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 06:01 PM
So p*ssed off! Toby had his appointment today. For no real reason (given he is healing well!) they have decided to use the absolute ouside of their ultra conservitive time frame, and are keeping him in the cast for 8 weeks, so another 4 weeks to go!
Our original estimate was 4 - 6 weeks, so there was a slight chance he was getting it off today, but likely next week.
I am honestly almost in tears. I am so not able to face another 4 weeks of this.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 09:30 PM
Sharon - poor little Toby - that is such rotten luck. Poor kid. I guess at least he's not so bad with it. G would have had a break down by now.
Kirsten. Holy-hell, and uck a duck (cos they won't let us swear here).
DH is also on a full scholarship. Centrellink have never asked me to report his income fortnightly (though they have mine - and that was a total screw up too). They just have his annual income recorded on their system, and broken down into fortnightly payments (though I notice they've recently dropped his stipend form the total - which means we are now being overpaid - this despite me updating them on the form they sent me - with the new total INCREASED amount!!! Will wonders never cease?!!). So essentially, they have his income as fortnightly payments. But this is all ony relevant to parenting payment. It has no bearing on Family Tax benefit etc - as it's a tax free scholarship - it is not included in any form of income assessment for FTB (A or B)...
Please contact me if you need further help on this. Like you, we also get carer's allowance - so I'm familiar with al that too.
And like Kay, I was going to offer to draft a letter for you - if you forward me all the info. Kay can put 'lawyer' at the end of her letter though, which never hurts . But I've been employed to write persuasive letters quite a lot lately (mostly to Ministers of Trade, and consulates) - surprisingly, it's one of my biggest money earners...
Any way I can help, let me know. Gotta get back to it... hugs to all...
Posted 06 May 2010 - 10:35 PM
Sorry Kirsten - I was on the iPhone before... I didn't mean to ignore you.
I am really glad that the Centrelink thing worked out in your favour, but far out - I can imagine what you would have gone through!
Poor A! I really hope your mums dentist is more help!
T - TBH, it isn't going to be Toby who isn't coping, although he is starting to get quite frustrated. After I posted before, DH was bugging me about something, and kept pushing when I told him I was really not up to talking - I just needed a few minutes to myself. He didn't stop (it was over something fairly major... like was I going to wash the dishes that I had said I would earlier... lol) and I kinda lost it. Like throwing things at him (a cushion, and then a bean bag...) and screaming, and then ran off to the bedroom in tears, and then spent the next 15 minutes or so bawling.
I have basically had to put everything on hold for the last 4 weeks to care for him. The last 10 days or so I have not been 100% well - no idea what, but I am just really lethergic and everything aches, and just feeling generally nauseous. So managing him has been a real struggle, and I have just had zero energy to manage even a minimal amount of work on top of caring for Toby. So I am miles behind, I have customers waiting for galleries or who have galleries but I have not managed to get through the ordering stage with. And because I have no money coming in, I have bills that I can't afford to pay, and I have some really big jobs coming up at the end of the month. I thought I was going to have a good two weeks to get everything else sorted, but now I don't.
On top of that, creche are not willing to take him for more than 2 hours at a stretch, which is barely worth it for me by the time I take him there, get him unloaded and set up, show whoever is around that day what he needs to care for him, drive back home, then go back to do pick up. So I don't even have my normal day to try to catch up.
So I am in the middle of a huge pity party at the moment, and poor Toby is barely getting a look in. lol.
Edited by ~*Sharon*~, 06 May 2010 - 10:38 PM.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:01 PM
Aw big hugs to you Sharon.. that's hard going. I sympathise - I've been coughing for more than a month (have had my seretide doubled and am on anti-bs - Lor's still coughing too and had his meds upped), and I am nearly on day 8 of flying solo as a parent - with both boys up several times a night - and a few big writing contracts on - plus trying to make the sale of HHS happen (have a very interested buyer).... Housework? meh! Oh the cat's really in a bad way too - and will have to take her to the vet first thing - third time this week (several hundred dollars on credit card later...)... so GAAAAAH! I'm with you.
I'm only up cos I'm an hour behind on work. But that's it - I'm done in - I'll just have to try and catch up.
Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:11 PM
HA! I wish I was only an hour behind! More like a week or three...
The SAH gig really sucks when things aren't going smoothly in the family. Flexible is great, save that you need to find some new time to fit the work in...
Posted 07 May 2010 - 07:58 AM
6:45am almost considered a sleep in!
Sharon - just sending you lots and lots of hugs woman Sounds like you can really do with a break and some pampering right now I hope the next 4 weeks fly by! xx Gorgeous video btw - what a clever little man
T - sounds like you can do with some hugs too!
Mel - love the new siggy
Kirsten - bloody hell! I've had a $400 bill from Centrelink in the past and that was enough to freak me out - $10K wouldve given me a heart attack for sure!
Super Intelligent Children - Mine's only just starting to recognise letters/numbers so reading is miles away yet, let alone do maths! lol He can do the basic one plus one stuff if I hold fingers up to show him amounts but thats about it.. oh and he can jack his pushbike up on a bike stand and take the back wheel off if you let him - does that count? He is very mechanically minded. Loves to potter around in the garage and is always asking a million and one questions about everything when you go out And he's been able to ride his bike without training wheels for well over a year now? Can wipe his own bum and get dressed by himself. Emily on the other hand has got a much better vocab etc than Damian did at 2.
Karina - bump is going well - completely over it though! The CC days are good but not working out as good as I had hoped. The days Emily spends at home are pretty much wasted - it's too hard to do anything without her interrupting you every 5 minutes. And the days Damian stays at home I can do a bit more or a bit less but he needs constant entertaining atm - he gets so bored sitting at home I really need those days to catch up on housework and sleep but it's just not happening!
Jac - hope you and bubs are keeping well!
BIG hello to everyone else - sorry I can't post more - gotta get Em ready for CC WOOHOO!
AFM - almost 33 weeks I am completely over being pregnant! I could never understand how some women could actually say that pregnancy doesnt agree with them well now I do! I am so sick of being fat, waking up with sore hips, busting for the loo all the time and only getting rid of 2 drops the nagging heartburn, being too fat for clothes, having to throw myself out of bed and out of the car because theres no easy way up or out In 2 weeks time I'll be as far along as I was when Damian was born (hint hint bubby!) Still can't believe I'm having another baby - guess it'll feel more real once he's here?? lol
Apart from that there's nothing new to report. Had DH's b/day on wednesday so the family came over - always invite themselves over and never ask me if I've got anything special planned I splashed out and got me, I mean HIM, an espresso machine We've used it a few times and considering we're no experts in coffee making I've been really impressed by it!
Bah look at the time - sorry gotta run, will try and keep up with posts from now on!
Edited by ~~Lynny~~, 07 May 2010 - 08:57 AM.
Posted 07 May 2010 - 11:36 AM
Argh, no email updates - didn't cross my mind there was a new thread!
Been meaning to post for a few days, but uni work is nuts, not including this week, 2 more weeks before exams & two major assignments + one no-so major one...and to top it off I'm a good 2weeks behind with my work(which is why I shouldn't be here, and this will be brief). FREAKING OUT. To top it off I'm sick, which has totally wiped me out - probably because I'm not moving much and not sleeping enough! Which I would do it I could just find a moment. Kai's sick too, but he's dealing with it much better than me.
I'm loving hearing about everyones little ones and where they're at. It's amazing how different they all are, every child has their things they excel at, sometimes they're easy to spot (like academic things) others, not so easy, but equally as valuable (like being kind/thoughtful, or being able to make you laugh).
I find it interesting, Kai is seen as gifted (we all know he's pretty smart - I'm very proud!)...but....he can't ride his bike without training wheels like Ernie & Damo (& someone else...??), he can't read nearly as well as Nate, he can't swim like Lorcan, he can't skip - he's actually quite unco....he doesn't even bloody sleep through the night that often!! I could go on...but the point is - They're all so fabulous and talented in their own ways, you just need to look at them in the right way
I was going to do personals, but there's too many people having a hard time, and I've just started feeling like this is taking too long and I've started to panic a little....
Kirsten, Sharon, T Big hugs for all of you. Thinking of you all and hoping the stresses calm down asap. You are all fantastic wonderful mothers doing a fabulous job!!!
Edited by bellemae, 07 May 2010 - 11:38 AM.
Posted 07 May 2010 - 06:51 PM
Zahli spelt out loud I love you today
A P Z
that spells I love you!! she was so proud of herself!! pmsl
Zahli is starting to get really bored the two days she is at home and it's driving me nuts, I still haven't done my bas I am totally exhausted.
and to top it off mother's day is going to be a write off as I am in prep for the bumoscopy on the monday!!! at least I have kicked everyone out of the house so I can sh*t in peace!!!
Posted 07 May 2010 - 08:16 PM
Oh you poor thing. Happy crapping
L has been vomiting solidly for 5 hours. Looks like I'm in for a fun night - thank god DH is home tomorrow - though won't be going to the airport to pick him up now.
Posted 07 May 2010 - 11:39 PM
T - Oh no!!
Karina - LMAO.....sorry though, sympathies to you! How cute Zahli spelling I love you LOL.
Lynny - Wow that's awesome that Damian can do that with his bike! Nate can hardly manage Mega Bloks. V jealous of you coffee machine!!
Belle - Good luck for your assignments, I know it is hard to imagine it now but it will all be worth it when you see your fabulous results!!
Well I just went on a night photo shoot by myself down by the harbour for the course I am doing. It was SO much fun.
Better do some reviewing and then go to bed - up early no doubt.
Posted 08 May 2010 - 09:26 AM
Still vomiting here - and temp of 39 poor little guy. So tired I can barely see.
Good work Kay - sounds great.
So far behind with work now... It would be ok if I didn't have deadlines.
Edited by Titania, 08 May 2010 - 09:27 AM.
Posted 08 May 2010 - 09:36 AM
oh, T why do these things always come when you just don't have time for them hey!? Poor L, poor you! Hoping L is on the mend soon. Guess at least you'll have help by later today - when's yr man due home?
Posted 08 May 2010 - 10:36 PM
Yes. It's been a million years (you're all probably wondering who the heck I am!) Still lost? Sorry I am being a bit coy at the moment with my details because I'd like to fill you all in on what I've been up to but dont really want to surrender my identity. I've been monitoring you lot by stealth on FB mostly, although I've somehow managed to even let that log-in slide and now don't know how to get back in on my laptop, though I can still access limited functionality via the iphone. Strangely for me it feels like I've never been away, but you guys must be feeling fairly distant from me.
So, where to start? Hmmn. W isn't into reading/writing/letters. He IS in love with his preschool teacher - he's going 5 days/week to the local catholic school which opened this year. He LOVES it completely which makes leaving him there for 10 hours/day relatively easy. He still rides with training wheels, but we don't really ride all that much. He DID test his helmet out the other weekend though . Biggest shock was that last week while in my mother's care he was stung by a syringe in a playground. I have to take him for blood tests sometime mon-wed, where they'll be looking for hepatitis stuff mainly.
C is still in daycare and little miss independent. She's started ballet classes and loves cooking and helping around the house. She's so beautiful I could just watch her for hours. She will tell anyone who will listen that she wants to be a rockstar when she grows up and wants an electric guitar for her 4th birthday. Her ears are still a cause of concern and currently her speech is mostly unintelligible. I must get her back to the quack.
Work is going well. I had my probation signed off last week, PHEW! I have the potential in my current role to earn a stupid amount of money, and should really put more conscientious effort into doing so. My favourite distraction is my MBA, which is going well - I have the exam for my second unit next saturday. I got a credit for my first unit and am on track for a distinction for this unit. In order to be invited to undertake the executive year of the degree it is necessary to maintain a credit average, so I'm pretty happy with myself on that front.
Dad is in preparation for his second stem cell transplant and had a bone marrow biopsy last tuesday. He's been pretty well, considering, but we've pretty much exhausted all chemo options for now.
In other not so fabulous news, DH has decided he'd rather be xH and moved out last week. Not really sure which way is up as far as that goes, and shedding lots of tears but working through it. I obviously can't say much in a public forum like this but I am very concerned about asset and custody split at the moment. I gather due to the inequity in our earnings/assets that I stand to lose a lot and he can only win. Not freaking happy.
I think that damned near sums up our last month or so.
T - hope L's turned the corner
Sharon - how's the stinky new addition to your family?
Kay - pretty jealous of the camera course - it's on my list of to-dos.
Karina - happy mothers day. Sorry, but love your turn of phrase: bumoscopy! i suppose its only appropriate to lmAo.
Lynny - can hardly believe you are nearly finished baking your third. I remember guessing you'd be the first back for #2. Its hard to imagine that anyone's had time to bake another 2 since I had Caitlin! Oh - but I can remember what you went through waiting to take Damo home from hospital, so I hope that #3 hangs in there for longer than another 2 weeks!
Belle - glad you're also enjoying your study - how did you get along with the housing issue in the end? (be a pet and save me from reading 18 months of old threads?)
Kirsten - hope Clink get their act in gear! (For what it's worth, I'm working on it!) Do DHS payments work on the same premise as ATO payments? ATO pays interest on any payment outstanding after 30 days, without requiring intervention from the payee.
OK - so i've only responded to those in this thread, hows the rest of the group travelling?
Edited by LilWil2, 08 May 2010 - 10:40 PM.
Posted 08 May 2010 - 10:47 PM
Holy crap R - I've been meaning and wanting to mention you, and Danielle too, lately.
So very sorry about DH... It's not as if you don't already have enough to deal with.
Kids sound good! C sounds a little like G. Really great that W is doing so well with the majority of his waking hours in care - hope that the syringe issue doesn't come to anything - how scarey!!!
Geez - sorry again about DH, must make life a bit hard...
Gotta go bed nw. night
Posted 08 May 2010 - 10:50 PM
R - I have wondered what's been up with you and figured you were just to busy to update us (which seems to have been a correct assumption!) - mind you I see you now and then on FB so knew you were still in the land of the living. So sorry to hear about you and DH splitting. I can only imagine how hard that must be. Was it a shock or had it been a long time coming? I hope things can be worked out as amicably as possible and that the kids cope alright with it all. How scary about Wil and the syringe - I hope the tests show all is fine, please let us know. Take care of yourself and your gorgeous kids.
Posted 08 May 2010 - 11:01 PM
Sharon - how's the stinky new addition to your family?
Bathed now, and desperately cute!
Sorry to hear you are going through such a horrible time at the moment. I can only imagine how hard it is! If you need anything, though, PM someone in here. I know that isn't much help from someone living so far away, but if there is something I or anyone else here can do, please let us know!
Just quick here, as puppy is in the ensuite downstairs, and probably crying her eyes out by now, but we may have a slight change in the Toby situation... DH is calling the GP on Monday to get a second opinion, but tonight Toby has started pulling himself up to standing in his cast (constantly!) which is really not safe, given the nature of the cast... and I was checking his nappy earlier, and found that in rolling around (I am guessing) the plaster has gone soft through a section of the back that goes right from the top to the opening for his nappy, which means it is no longer rigid across the back, and is deteriorating fairly swiftly. Sadly the woven part is still holding strong, but it does suggest that the cast is not going to last the next 4 weeks, given it has deteriorated this far in the last 4 weeks. Saves me needing to come up with sabotage plans!!
I won't know anything more until DH speaks to the Dr hopefully on Monday, but fingers crossed this is reason enough for them to review it!
Posted 09 May 2010 - 10:12 AM
R - I am so sorry to hear about you and xH. You are an amazing woman and I can only say that I am in awe of you and hope that you can find the strength to get through this. The syringe with W would scare the crap out of me, but there really is apparently only a tiny chance of a virus transferring. I will keep my fingers crossed for you xoxoxo
HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY TO EVERYONE
I have a heap of stuff to talk about but have to head off to Church!! (Man, it really is bizarre that I am doing this God stuff!!) 2nd weekend of 6 for 1st communions.... Will try to get back later
Posted 09 May 2010 - 02:09 PM
Karina - Thinking of you. How are you holding up. Hope your Mother's Day is at least quiet if nothing else.
Posted 09 May 2010 - 07:13 PM
thanks for thinking of me Kay!! feel like sh*te and I should have been flushed down the loo too LOL!! the worst headache and not sure if I can take anything for it?
it was a very quite day here by myself, DH, MIL and kids all met up with dh's family in Berrima. I got to watch crap tv in peace.
Got some lovely pressies from the girls this morning.
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