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Why we are out of the closet

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#26 chrisl

Posted 13 July 2010 - 09:00 AM

I applaud you for your honesty and for sharing your experiences with others. I am one of the lucky ones, who fell pregnant easily with my two children. However, it is an issue close to my heart as in my close circle of friends, I have 3 or 4 friends who have either not been able to conceive (naturally, or through IVF) or who have had success through IVF. It is a very common problem. I'm not sure if it is more common these days due to a number of factors such as women partnering later and other environmental factors etc or if it is due to the fact that people are more open about it these days. However, because I have been close to friends who have had troubles conceiving or who have given up trying, I know that it can affect friendships and relationships and that those of us who are able to conceive naturally and with relative ease can only imagine the pain and heartbreak of our friends who desperately want children and for whatever reason, are unable to have them. I have learned though that the flippant statements (usually given with the best intentions) such as "just be patient", "if it's meant to be, it will be", "you just need to relax and not stress" etc, are like a knife to the heart. It may not happen. It has little to do with stress. I know people argue the opposite, but there are plenty of corporate high flyers who get pregnant, people with drug and alcohol dependency get pregnant, people who probably shouldn't get pregnent, sometimes get pregnant! It is often completely random. So, what I have learned is to say, "sorry for what you are going through, I can only imagine how hard that would be" and "I wish you the best of luck". I don't say this to sound negative. Quite the opposite as I think giving flippant advice just makes people feel worse. On the flip side, a good friend of mine got pregnant on her last embryo transfer (she had 6). She now has a 7 month old. Also, a family member of mine is a reproductive biologist and says 6 transfers are the average, so don't give up yet.

#27 pandoraandpie

Posted 24 November 2010 - 02:17 PM

This is an amazing thread guys!! Thank you all so much for being so open original.gif

#28 . . .

Posted 24 November 2010 - 02:41 PM

QUOTE (megalula @ 20/05/2010, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love the idea of the pomegranate. My BFF also bought me two leprechauns - one for a bracelet and a little pewter statue for my bedside table. They're a symbol of fertility too. I'll look out for these and for pomegranate pendants in future.

About the only useful thing I can offer to this thread - http://shop.ebay.com.au/?_from=R40&_tr...-All-Categories
Some really cute pomegranate charms, and not too expensive either!

#29 Health Hunter

Posted 28 September 2013 - 10:42 AM

View Post*LG*, on 17 May 2010 - 06:08 PM, said:

If I hear another story about how easy it was for someone to get pregnant, or how they only had to walk into a room to get pregnant, or the "we only did it once and now we don't know what to do"...or heaven forbid the..."it took us ages to get pregnant" - how long...? "oh about 6 months"  

Oh I hear ya! For me I have a bunch of girlfriends with the "first try" pregnancies and lots of happy accidental babies.

It does sting. I try really hard to stay supportive and send love their way for their journey. I guess they just don't know what it's like if they haven't experienced the other side.

That's why I liked Prue's "Infertility Olympics" post.

Thanks for sharing Prue. It's so weird how we get cagey and wont ask for support from each other around this one issue. Or worse, judge or shame each other (or ourselves) for "failing" at the task.

It's the one issue we should be reaching out on and supporting each other though.


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