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IVF Multiple Cycles & the Long Haul Buddy Group #2

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#101 stillinhope

Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:03 PM

QUOTE (meggie2 @ 07/07/2010, 04:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Still

So pleased everything is well with you and the bub.  We love having you (don't leave us) but there is/will be a Due In Group for you in Pregnancy/Parenting After Problems Conceiving. I don't think I would cope in a normal DIG either.

Also, thanks everyone for your support. I also really want a big glass of wine but will wait until my BT.


Hey megs,
i am in the due feb group but its so weird..many are already mums and have had no probs..i was the only ivf'r in the whole group..so i felt a bit out of it and havent kept it up...thanks tho xo

#102 meggie2

Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:15 PM

OOhh I didnt realise.  Start one, and then we'll all come join you original.gif  How great will that be?  Stay here till then.

Seriously maybe the IVFers are all lurking in your group and will post after 12 weeks.

#103 stillinhope

Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:36 PM

he he yeah thats what i was thinking, our own nice little pg group where we can all stress out together!

#104 carita

Posted 07 July 2010 - 10:16 PM

rant.gif Don't you hate when you write a long, lovely  post and then your internet crashes? *$#%)(*@#&%

Anyway....I'll try to remember it all!

Hi there, hope everyone's travelling along ok. Sorry I haven't been in for a bit. I'm on holidays at the moment and my brain just switches off. DH calls it 'sloth mode'. I'm hoping he means that in a loving way...

CC-Been thinking of you. Hope you've had a bit of time to relax with DH....I know, easier said than done. Hang in there. We're here if you need to vent.

Spring-Sorry to hear your news. IVF sucks a big one. I know what you mean about venting to people that get it. I was saying to DH that when we finally start up our next cycle I don't want to tell anyone...not family, not friends because it's just too hard for everyone. It's hard for them to know what to say and do and it's hard for me because I either don't want it mentioned or it's all I talk about-depends on the day!

meggie-Those HPTs are the devil!! I'm sorry to hear the news. As always, I'm hoping for you that the hpt was a dud and you'll get different news with the official test. (Do you have those thoughts? I always do...I should know better by now) The raise and bonus sound great though, hope you can get yourself a little (or big?) treat from it. No, you didn't sound bitter either!

Rosabella-Good luck with the upcoming transfer. Wow, a two year break. Were you able to get back to a normal life during that time?

Spock-Best wishes for the transfer. How was Japan? Good to hear you were able to relax there and forget about ivf for a while. I've used accupuncture with cycles before and found it to be really calming. I also had the Chinese herbs which were disgusting. I have to admit, having a cutie pie accupuncturist was good too. original.gif I'm thinking I might need to go back to him for this cycle.

Kimbar-Good to hear about the follies. Best wishes for the EPU. Good on your DH for getting the clinic to be more flexible. I reckon he's got a point and the costs! By the way, we're onto the frozen 'goods' now because DH is taking artificial testosterone.

Still-Glad to hear that the scare was just a scare...I don't blame you for not wanting any spotting! I think that meg's idea of starting up a group that we'll all join sounds good! I can imagine a regular 'due in' BG would be a bit difficult to feel comfortable in...come on, admit it...those fertile ladies are just boring! original.gif

Hi to BB and anyone else I might have missed. This group has gotten quite large!

Not much for me to report really. We signed the paperwork for our next ICSI cycle and now are just waiting on AF/Day 1. I had another BT today to check that my hcg has fallen from the last cycle/mc. It's still at 2.45!!! What a cruel joke!! Anyway, the FS said not to worry about doing another BT, so that's good. I was cranky today because there were two ladies in there with bubs that couldn't have been more than 5-6 months old. They were exchanging cutsie stories about their kids and it was kinda depressing. The clinic I used to go to strongly encouraged women not to bring in children. As mean as it sounds, I liked that.

Take care all! Hope this post sticks!!

Edited by carita, 07 July 2010 - 10:16 PM.

#105 cheshire_cat

Posted 08 July 2010 - 12:15 AM

Hi again all original.gif

carita---OMG I really don't like the women who bring their babies into the clinic and go on and on with cute baby stories rant.gif . It's like they've just completely forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end of it. How can they forget something like that? So insensitive. I know they're full of joy and everything, but hey, some of us tend to be a little sensitive about such things while waiting in our FS clinic, funnily enough. I've promised myself I won't be 'one of them'. Come on Day 1 so you can start your cycle!

stillinhope- yep I'm hearing you about the buddy groups, I've noticed a few members who've been quite active on the AC boards disappear after their BFP, maybe because they haven't found a group they feel 'at home' with. I agree, a specific IVF group would be good. Actually, I think a 'PG After Multiple IVF Cycles' group would be even more perfect, as I have to be really horrible & admit I still feel a bit ....... ok lets just say jealous and bitter.... even about people who conceive on their FIRST IVF cycle. Sometimes I feel like they don't quite understand how lucky they really, truly are. OK please no-one judge me too much, just being honest! blush.gif blush.gif  

meggie, as spring said, what a dud week for us all. Have been thinking of you & hope you got through the day ok.

Spock, great to see you around again & I hope you get some nicely thawed blasts!

spring, go the coffee! I've had two today!

Kimbar, sounds like your follicles are responding well! We've never used frozen 'goods'- it's a shame they can't organize something else- could he 'produce' at home that morning and then you bring it in with you? I know some clinics do let the guys do it at home. Hope it works out ok. I definitely agree with the amount of stess, heartache & money this is costing you, they should offer some flexibility!

Well ladies not much to report from here, not feeling too bad (relatively speaking) and for those who asked we are just going straight into another medicated FET. So am on the Progynova now.


Edited by cheshire_cat, 08 July 2010 - 12:16 AM.

#106 stillinhope

Posted 08 July 2010 - 09:48 AM

QUOTE (cheshire_cat @ 08/07/2010, 12:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
stillinhope- yep I'm hearing you about the buddy groups, I've noticed a few members who've been quite active on the AC boards disappear after their BFP, maybe because they haven't found a group they feel 'at home' with. I agree, a specific IVF group would be good. Actually, I think a 'PG After Multiple IVF Cycles' group would be even more perfect, as I have to be really horrible & admit I still feel a bit ....... ok lets just say jealous and bitter.... even about people who conceive on their FIRST IVF cycle. Sometimes I feel like they don't quite understand how lucky they really, truly are. OK please no-one judge me too much, just being honest! blush.gif  blush.gif

CC- Its OK! I totally understand. I never wanted to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I understand how my situation effects this group...
I have seen the worst women in my old clinic, one time tow ladies had their kids there, and one woman says in a mega loud voice to the other "its so hard to come back isnt it" and the other lady - obviously didnt want to talk to her said "this is my first time, we didnt have to with my first" she was so embarrassed and then the lady goes on to yell out about how she used donor sperm and this and that happened...i moved seats..i was just about to have my opu.

Another time , this is worse, DH cousin - who has had long time infertility and got pg on 1st round, 1st TF ivf (grrr) says to me (she knew what i was going through with the ivf) "i would really hate to be having infertility right now, so many people are having babies" i nearly dropped dead...then she says "the problem for me is now i have to decided when to go back" i nearly burst into tears..it was at a party...i couldnt believe it that some one who has been through this would say that kind of thing to someone else going through it. I vow never to be like that, and i hope i havent made any of you feel like that....


#107 Rangeman

Posted 08 July 2010 - 12:04 PM

Still - Don't be so bloody silly, you stay here with us! You make us feel hopeful.  You should start the group PG After Multiple IVF Cycles like CC suggested, then you'll just have to wait for us all to join you.  


#108 cheshire_cat

Posted 08 July 2010 - 01:28 PM

still- I hope you didn't think I was complaining about you!! I am so glad you're staying around for a while, we don't want you to abandon us just yet!! You don't make us feel uncomfortable- but rather hopeful, as Kimbar said. It would be sad to lose touch completely, so don't you go anywhere!

ETA... aannoyed.gif to your DH's cousin, what is going on in these people's heads? And NO you are nothing like that!!!


Edited by cheshire_cat, 08 July 2010 - 01:31 PM.

#109 stillinhope

Posted 08 July 2010 - 04:57 PM

Awww thanks girls...i love this group hheart.gif YAY!!

CC - i know what u mean tho, when Dh cousin announced her pg after 1 TF i thought well arent u fan-bloody-tastic! She was soooo cocky about it. Bitter i know! But with good reason!

Its funny cos i dont feel like i am in a different place yet..and i think my infertility - let alone my ivf journey is something that will take a long time to get over..if ever. I think i will always remember this pain, but i do intend to do something with it, make it worth while by helping other women if i can...who knows how/when/who. Tho..already my friends cousin is going to have ivf and i said im happy to talk with her about it. I found it really helpful speaking with a couple if ivf patients before i started...

#110 Spock

Posted 08 July 2010 - 05:16 PM

***warning pregnancy mentioned***
still, I know what you mean about wanting to feel 'comfortable' in a BG. When I was briefly pregnant a few months ago I joined a BG for ivf pregnant women due in the 3 months when I was due. I found it really difficult to 'bond' with them as they all seemed to forget about the whole ivf journey. I was having similar thoughts to you in coming to terms with my infertility let alone being pregnant but the others in the BG didn't seem to have the same issues as me. When I m/c'ed they all said sorry but within 5 minutes of my post they were back to baby talk i.e. what pram to buy etc. I don't resent them being happy but I do feel bitter that they seemed to 'forget' so easily about the ivf journey. I would love you to start a PG after multiple cycles IVF group! Hopefully we can join you there soon.

When I go to my clinic in the city there is a sign up saying 'no children allowed' which you would think people would abide by, but sometimes there are children and babies there mad.gif

#111 stillinhope

Posted 09 July 2010 - 09:56 AM

I think a no babies policy is good...although i can imagine sometimes it may be hard for the mums if they cant get a sitter but perhaps there could be a sep waiting area?? finicky i know but its ivf..whats not finicky!
At my old clinic out side my FS office there were these wall features that to me looked like pg bellies..i couldnt believe it..basically anything bumpy was a pg belly to me...

what do u think about FS having baby pics on their office walls? my first fs had none, and although i didnt want to see any - i thought it weird. My seconds fs (current) has a whole massive wall of them! Fuel the roller coaster why dont u!

#112 meggie2

Posted 09 July 2010 - 12:12 PM

My clinic has this huge painting of some sort of stylised grass seeds or something, hard to describe, but it looks like lots of giant sperm wriggling around.

Don't mind the baby pics so much, but little ones in the clinic waiting room are a killer on bad days.

#113 carita

Posted 09 July 2010 - 12:57 PM

My old clinic didn't have baby pics around. The new one doesn't have them in the waiting room but it does have huge collages of pics from previous patients along with thank you notes and birth announcements down the corridor to the different offices.

I agree meggie, those don't bother me as much as the ones looking so cute, wriggling around in the waiting room. On those really bad days I just want to grab on and run out the door!

#114 carita

Posted 09 July 2010 - 01:14 PM

By the way, have any of you been reading the posts in the 'What do you think?' forum about the woman going to Thailand to choose the sex of a baby? Hmmm....I think it's going to turn into a nasty argument.

#115 meggie2

Posted 09 July 2010 - 01:26 PM

Ooh yeah I've just been reading it.  Should probably stay away from threads like that - its bringing out the witch.  

There was at least one long term IVFer (now pg) trying to explain that wanting and not being able to get #1 is seriously different to wanting and not being able to get a pink or blue #4,5,6....   I put in my 2 cents worth but am going to try to stay away now.

#116 cheshire_cat

Posted 09 July 2010 - 09:41 PM

Woah, yep I'm staying away from that thread glare.gif wacko.gif blink.gif ohmy.gif    .

About the clinic waiting rooms, I don't think I'd be a huge fan of baby pictures or even pics of successful previous patients & their babies. It's like dangling in front of your nose the very thing you can't reach. My clinic has big pics of relaxing beaches, nature-ish stuff which is neutral & kind of calming.

I think the 'no kids' rule would be great in an ideal world but as still says, probably hard to enforce. As long as the bubs stay in prams and mums are suitably subdued about their damned 'baby joy'......We don't wanna know about it!!

#117 meggie2

Posted 09 July 2010 - 10:41 PM

Oh I failed, I've posted in there about 4 times now. ohmy.gif

Ah well, I've had a bad week, maybe letting out some witchiness is a good idea.

#118 Rosabella

Posted 10 July 2010 - 09:20 AM

Hey everyone. What a week, so glad its over.

Meggie - Did you have your BT? I hope that your HPT was wrong but if you are out this cycle I think you have a really good plan going forward. Having further tests is something to focus on and keep you moving forward. Congrats on the payrise and bonus.
Kimbar - Well done in getting the FC to work around you. We do pay them enough money for them to be a little flexible. How did your EPU go? Good luck with your 2WW, mine is already killing me and I haven't even had my transfer yet!!
Spock - My transfer is Monday too. I am trying to be really positive about this cycle. I am struggling with the fact that I am already in the 2WW and haven't had my transfer yet. After such a long break from AC you do forget a little of how it feels. Fingers crossed for you, I am so happy that I have someone to be able to share this with this time around.
Still - Sorry to hear about your scare but glad to hear bubs is growing well. Please stick around in here because you are my hope that the protocol I am on now will get me that BFP.
Carita - You asked about getting back to normal life with a 2 year break. Not really. Its always in the back of your mind and you still have the same feelings as everyone around you gets pregnant. I have a DSD that lives with us full time and that in itself can be difficult to deal with when all you want is a child of your own. But I do feel so much better going into this cycle and glad we stopped when we did.
CC - All the best with your up coming FET.

ASF I was a little freaked out this week as on Tuesday I had the worst cramps and a little spotting. I can only assume that the new drugs are having some effect on my body as I normally don't get this when ovulating. I had a BT wednesday and am scheduled for FET on Monday. Only one blasties this time. So I am already in the 2WW and having all sorts of thoughts like 'could we end up with twins cause we BDd like mad around O' etc etc. So silly I know. I have had strange cramps and pains since O this month so I am remaining positive and am choosing to believe that the cramps are the drugs doing their job and that this is the month. BT is set for the 21st but I'm not sure if I can handle waiting that long. I have a friend IRL that had a transfer this week and is having her BT on the 19th so those two days are going to be a nightmare lol.
Oh and on the whole babies at the FC, all but one of my BTs since going back to my FC has been done by a very pregnant FN. I have to remind myself that for all I know she may have needed IVF to get that bub. She is a very lovely FN though so I won't hold it against her.

Take Care Everyone

#119 Spock

Posted 12 July 2010 - 12:05 AM

Hi everyone,

Rose, goodluck tomorrow!! sending you lots of positive thoughts that this works out for you. It is great to have someone going through the same as me this time around. It must be a bit of a shock to your system to have all the feelings of ac back in your life. I hope your break has helped you feel a bit better about trying ivf again.

meggie, how are you after your bt?

still, that is scary and I'm so glad everything is going okay for you. i'm happy for you to keep posting here as it's nice to hear how you are going. it also helps keep alive my little flame of hope for a bfp.

hi kimbar, carita, cc and spring.

afm, emie thawed out fine this morning rolleyes.gif so first stage of stress is over. I only heard from the scientist at 11am so I started to get a bit stressed before the call. Since then I've been trying to stay calm. It was my dad's 65th birthday today so been keeping occupied with family birthday celebrations. However I am now getting stressed. Just as I arrived home I suddenly 'spotted' some fresh red blood. It is only 5 days since ovulation so this is very odd for me (has never happened before). I'm a bit worried that my hormones are playing up as it is too early for af. I'm going to talk to my clinic first thing in the morning but now I'm worried that either my chances of a bfp are much reduced or my thawed out emie is now gone to waste sad.gif if fs says not to do the transfer. Hope I can get some sleep tonight.

#120 meggie2

Posted 12 July 2010 - 10:11 AM

Hiya everyone,

Good luck Spock and Rose for your transfers.   I hope everything goes super smoothly.

How are you travelling CC?  What's your guess for a transfer date?   And Spring, are you going again too?

Hiya Kim and Carita.

AFM I'm pretty shattered TBH.  I did 3 FETs back to back and I think the disappointment of all 3 hit me in one go, after the last BT.  That same day we had a work drinks with cocktails for the EOFY and I had about 3 in 10 minutes and then snuck off home before I started bawling.

The FS has a whole plan of what to do next, starting with a scan on Wednesday to have a look at a fibroid which I have.  Apparently heaps of women have them with no impact on fertility which is why she didn't do anything about it before (cos there are risks of damage to the uterus with taking it out) but she wants to see if all the oestrogen from the stim cycles is making it grow, and maybe take it out now and see if that helps.   Plus a whole lot of other changes.   But like some of you have already said, it just feels like going through the motions.  

Ah well, this too will pass as they say.

It's someone's turn this month, I can feel it (and remember I predicted Still drinking mineral water in Tassie?) .....


#121 Rosabella

Posted 12 July 2010 - 02:22 PM

Meggie - I'm sorry things didn't happen this cycle. It sucks more than words can express on here. It is an unfair journey to be on. I know I felt pretty crap when my FS said I had to have more test and wondered why I hadn't been tested before. But for me it was the best thing as what they found and the treatment I have been put on has completely changed my outlook. I hope that you can get some answers that can help you through this horrible time and can start a new cycle with new hope.
Take care xoxo

Edited by Rosabella, 12 July 2010 - 02:23 PM.

#122 Spock

Posted 12 July 2010 - 03:29 PM

hi ladies

Meggie, you are a very strong person to have 3 back to back FETs. I'm so sad that you ended up being right, I was hoping your hpt was wrong. It definately suks after all this time and emotional effort. It's good your fs has a plan and wants to investigate more. At one appointment with my fs, he took a call from another patient and they agreed over the phone to stop ac completely (it sounded mutual). It was so sad that some poor lady's dream ended. Thankfully this wasn't you so go out and have more cocktails (I enjoyed at least 3 martinis on Thursday night knowing my transfer was today), wine, coffee. Sending you lots of sympathetic bbighug.gif s.

Rose, how did your transfer go today?

CC, Spring, are either of you going to transfer soon or taking a breather?

waves.gif to everyone else.

afm, turned out there is some erosion causing the bleeding which is thankfully no where near my uterus. The transfer went ahead. I just had an acupuncture session so feeling nice and relaxed. Hope I stay that way for the rest of the 2ww (but doubting that!). I've put my phone on silent in case anyone from my family rings - my sister just announced her engagement and the family wedding dramas have already begun. DH says I'm 'Switzerland' as I get all fun of keeping the peace but I really don't want to deal with any of their dramas righ now. I wish my family were as understanding as all of you in how all this works, the emotional stress, support needed etc. I want to feel positive but I think I'm too scared.

#123 Rosabella

Posted 12 July 2010 - 04:19 PM

Spock - that's great your transfer went ahead as planned. What date is your BT booked for?
My transfer was a little more stressful then I would like. The FS came half an hour late which meant sitting around for an hour as we had to be there half hour before transfer time. Then we found out they had to thaw out 3 of our frosties to get a good one. Feels like such a waste sad.gif but they tell us the one we got is beautiful and we now have 4 frosties left (somewhere along the way we have lost one more cause we thought we were starting with 8 today but there were only 7). So a strange day for us but we will get over it. Going to the ballet tonight with DSD so that should be nice a relaxing original.gif

#124 meggie2

Posted 12 July 2010 - 04:44 PM

Yay for our two transfers!  Well done.

#125 Rangeman

Posted 13 July 2010 - 08:53 AM

Morning Girls,

Meggie - How you going you poor old chook?  

Spock & Rose - congrats on your TFR now the dreaded 2ww..........and Rose 4 frosties how fantastic, how was the ballet?
Spock, hope you manage to steer clear of the family.

A big hello to CC, Spring, Still, Carita and anyone I've left out.

AFM - I'm off to EPU tomorrow, feeling bloated and a bit sick so can't wait to get these little buggers out.  After today I'm on a weeks leave - yay!  Got my Mum coming up to babysit me....hope she cleans the house...hahaha

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