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Have you ever hurt your baby?

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#1 diary~dad

Posted 17 August 2010 - 12:19 PM

Have you ever hurt your baby?
By Joseph Kelly

A couple of weeks ago I was leaving the house with baby Rita.  Having made sure Rita was securely strapped in her stroller, I turned to lock the front door behind me.  Letting go of the pram and turning to lock the door couldn't have taken more than a second, maybe two.  But in that time, with my back turned, Rita and the pram managed to roll their way off the porch, down the steps, landing upside-down on the concrete path.  There was a long, chilling silence before Rita’s scream cut through the air.

Fast forward through several frantic minutes and I’m sitting with Rita in our local doctor’s surgery as he studies her head.  It is, reassuringly, still attached to her shoulders.  It is also, according to the doctor, all in one piece.  Just as I am thinking to myself that I might be able to get through the whole incident without having to tell Susie anything about it, the doctor tells me Rita will have a nasty but impressive bruise. As it happened she produced a big old glorious shiner of a bruise, a pulsing neon sign that spat out in huge letters: “My dad dropped me on my head.  What kind of monster is he???”

When 7-year-old Maisie was a baby I was far too young, cocky and naïve to admit that I knew nothing about kids and was secretly terrified of the whole parenting caper.   I cleverly disguised this with a bold and brash display of parenting over-confidence.  I was determined, for example, to carry infant Maisie in my arms like it was no big deal, tucking her under one arm like I was carrying a six-pack into a barbie.  The problem with this approach, as I discover on more than one occasion, is that I kept banging her head into door frames as I entered or exited a room.

With our second, 4-year-old Frances, I was mature enough to admit that protecting my child took precedence over my desire to look relaxed and casual.  While other kids casually rolled down our street on their scooters, Frances was banned from stepping foot on a scooter without helmet, knee pads and elbow pads.  When I suggested to Susie that Frances should be wearing reflective clothing if she was going to ride her scooter, it was casually but firmly pointed out to me that I might be going a bit too far.

But by the time baby Rita arrived I was confident I had the balance sorted.  Not too casual, not too over-protective.  In fact, if I was a breakfast cereal I think I’d be called something like Right-On-The-Money.  The only problem is you can’t help bad luck.  No matter how under or over protective you are, accidents happen.  And even perfect parents can, in the juggle of doing one hundred things at once, forget to do something as fundamental as putting the brake on the pram.  This doesn’t make them bad parents – does it?

Have you ever accidentally hurt your child?  How did it make you feel?

#2 Snagglepussed

Posted 17 August 2010 - 12:58 PM

I was determined, for example, to carry infant Maisie in my arms like it was no big deal, tucking her under one arm like I was carrying a six-pack into a barbie. The problem with this approach, as I discover on more than one occasion, is that I kept banging her head into door frames as I entered or exited a room.

I'll bite!

I did this CONTINUALLY with DD1! Horrible really now that I think of it......

#3 His Boy Elroy

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:04 PM

I clipped DS's finger nails when he was about a month old and nipped his thumb.  Blood everywhere and I was hysterical, he was hysterical and it took my husband 2 hours to calm me down after it happened.

DS however was fine after 2 minutes....he had a feed and went to sleep.

Funny how stuff like that sticks like glue in your memory....

#4 babatjie

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:04 PM

Accidents happen.  Last week DS was sitting on my lap while we were sitting at the table having dinner, I looked away for a second and he grabbed a handful of hot food.  Even though it's an accident it doesn't lessen the guilt.

Hope you and your daughter recovered ok. original.gif

#5 **Amber**

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:09 PM

I havent, but my 2 year old son has a broken leg thanks to an accident from daddy.
We have one very guilty feeling daddy.

#6 shezniy76

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:09 PM

Have you ever accidentally hurt your child? How did it make you feel?
OMG, yes I have, I felt like the worst mother ever. When DS1 was only a few months old I was clipping him into his bouncer and accidentally pinched his skin in the clip. The wailing that ensued was heartbreaking and I think I cried more than him for actually being responsible for his pain sad.gif

#7 Maple Leaf

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:12 PM

Yep, caught DD2's finger in the pram when it was being locked into position. HORRIBLE. sad.gif

#8 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 17 August 2010 - 01:18 PM

Deleted as I don't like being on a direct link from the newspapers

Edited by lsolaBella, 19 August 2010 - 08:54 AM.

#9 clairek

Posted 17 August 2010 - 08:20 PM

With DS1 I used a travel system.  Baby strapped into seat, seat clipped in and out of base attached to back seat of car.  I went to a friends house, took baby in with seat and had several cuppas.  Baby in and out of seat, cuddles, feeds etc... I went home, seat in car attached and of we go.  I drive home, wet windy motorway driving for 30 mins, get home, remove seat from car....Baby not strapped into seat!!!!!  OMG, I tortured myself about it for months!  I didn't trust myself to use the seat for ages.  So many 'what ifs'

The house we live in is a 1940s beach house.  Lots of high door handles.  With DS2, the poor kids has had his head bashed on a high brass handle numerous times.  I pick him up off the change table and swing round to leave the room....Clunk, scream!  I moved the change table to a point further into the room after the 3rd time!

#10 3_for_me

Posted 17 August 2010 - 08:28 PM

When DS1 was a toddler I got him out of the carseat and stood him next to the car and promptly slammed his fingers in the door.  The worst part though was that it wasn't one of these fabulous new cars with central locking, it was the type where you have to manually lock each door and the door was locked...with DSs fingers stuck in it!  I had to leave the poor little guy to wail while I raced around to the other side of the car(as the passenger side lock was broken), fumbled for my keys, unlocked the front door, leaned all the way over the seats and unlocked the back door and then opened it to release him sad.gif   Very bad mummy moment that one!

#11 cinnabubble

Posted 17 August 2010 - 08:34 PM

My five month old rolled off the couch yesterday. I won't make that mistake again.

A friend once dislocated her baby's elbow while strapping him into the car seat. Apparently it's quite a common injury.

#12 namie

Posted 17 August 2010 - 08:38 PM

I hurt DS tonight and I still feel absolutely awful. I grabbed the hand sanitiser out of his top drawer and aimed the squirter at my hand (nowhere near him) and by some horrible fluke it sent a squirt right in his eye  cry1.gif

DP had just finished undressing him ready for his bath and I'd emptied the poo into the toilet before disposing of the nappy, so wanted to disinfect my hands. I've no idea why I didn't just wash them in warm soapy water while I was in the bathroom, I wish I had.

I sprinted to the bathroom, with DSs screams following me down the short hall, soaked a muslin square and dripped cold water (stupid mummy thought to distress him further with ice cold winter water sad.gif) in hs eyes. Once he'd calmed down DP proceeded with the bath and gave the eye an extra rinse.

DS was fine as soon as the toys hit the bath, I still want to cry now.

I think I'm feeling so bad because I know exactly how he's feeling and I'm worried he might take after me - years ago when I was about 15, I was playing with a Boobyalla (sp?) seed pod and by some horrible fluke, a squirt of sap got me right in the eye. It was so painful, and the water bath I had to do to rinse it out was almost as bad. It stung for ages.

#13 Pompol

Posted 17 August 2010 - 08:47 PM

I'm another with the nail clippers sad.gif DH went on a frantic trip to the chemist and came back with enough gauze and tape to strap a football team. By the time he got back, DS had stopped bleeding and was sound asleep, I was still sitting on the couch holding him and weeping. DH also did the food-to-hot thing a few days ago. Both so easy to do sad.gif

#14 RichardParker

Posted 17 August 2010 - 09:41 PM

My Auntie was chopping woodchips with a little axe.  My cousin, then a toddler, ran up and put his hand on the block.  She saw him but couldn't stop the axe, which came down and chopped the tip off his ring finger.  He was rushed to hospital and they managed to sew it back on, but the little tot was a bit shaken.  My poor Auntie felt terrible. sad.gif

#15 loropetalum

Posted 17 August 2010 - 09:50 PM

Greenbag, your story made me shudder sad.gif

When my son was 4mo, I accidentally caught his little finger when I was clicking in the pram harness. I've also fed him a spoonful of food that turned out to be hot in the center. I felt awful and guilt ridden that I did these things.

#16 Boys Rock

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:01 PM

ninja.gif Another nail clipper mother!!! He was about 5 weeks old to. I felt SO bad and cried for hours.

#17 catnat

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:02 PM

Yes, all of them sad.gif  sad.gif .

Levi was about a month old and I had been doing a tandem feed on the bed. I put him down next to me and turned to grab Chase from the other side. My weight shifting must have caused him to roll and THUMP off our (extra high) bed he went!

For Chase it was my first Mothers Day and I was cutting his nails before we went. Yep, I took the whole top off his finger.

As for the 3rd child I sadly have even forgotten what we have done to him but I know it has happened several times.

#18 Lightning_bug

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:09 PM

...just an hour ago... I snapped the elastic of a Bonds easysuit into my daughters face.  Silence and then she screamed and big fat tears rolled down her face.  A big red mark.

Lots of cuddles and the suit was thrown to the other side of the room.  Easy my butt...

#19 adnama

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:14 PM

Biggest one for me was bringing Amelia home from hospital, came home alone with Millie walked up our stairs got to the top with some bags and Millie kicked my shoes off but lost balance and fell straight for the cement wall I covered her up but hurt my shoulder and knees. Wouldn't of been so bad but
she suffered from seizures due to a blood spot on her brain I cried for ages lucky not a mark on her but it shook me up

#20 Cluckster

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:14 PM

I can't count how often I've heaved opened the car door at the precise moment DS has stepped in front of it.

#21 Kay1

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:15 PM

When DS1 was 2 we went on holiday to Europe. One day we were strolling down the Champs Elysee feeling all clever and proud of ourselves for successfully travelling with child. DS1 wanted to walk for a while and DH was pushing the stroller. There was a street ahead  so I ran to catch DS, only I tripped and slammed him headfirst straight into this metal bollard. Apparently it looked from behind like I crash tackled my child for no reason. I felt awful (and super embarrassed).

#22 sam78s

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:15 PM

I fell down the stairs last week, in the middle of the night, 13mo on my hip and holding almost 3yo DS2's hand.  We all took a tumble but thankfully I appeared to be the most hurt.  Why couldn't someone breastfeed me and make me feel better?

#23 Theophobic

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:15 PM

DS fell off the bed not once but twice in his first week home. The second time he fell between the bed and the night stand. I decided co-sleeping wasn't for me after that.

#24 Amanda_R

Posted 17 August 2010 - 10:27 PM

Both of our girls' faces have been at the right height to rebound off my rear end, usually as a result of me turning quickly not knowing they are that close.  Generally results in them on the floor or rebounding off nearby objects.  Boing, SPLAT!

The worst though was when my sister was looking after DD#1 when she was around 1yo give or take.  She was holding her and DD squirmed and face planted the floor, tearing the little big of skin/flesh that holds the top lip to the gum.  I had called to see how she was about 5 mins earlier as I was just about to arrive home, I walked through the door just after it happened to tears and blood everywhere lol.

#25 Duck-o-lah

Posted 18 August 2010 - 09:15 AM

The problem with this approach, as I discover on more than one occasion, is that I kept banging her head into door frames as I entered or exited a room
laughing2.gif Been there, done that! On more than a few occassions DH has lifted DS onto his shoulders and wacked his head on the roof... oops.

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