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IVF Multiple Cycles and The Longhaul Buddy Group #5


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#51 cheshire_cat

Posted 06 October 2010 - 01:59 PM

Hmm, just realised the irony in my saying I wanted to get healthy and then mentioning the pizza had arrived! blush.gif My excuse is that I was too sick to cook (really!) & DH ordered pizza after getting home late from work (he hates cooking).

Hope you're all well today xx

#52 meggie2

Posted 06 October 2010 - 04:08 PM

Hi everyone.

Oh Kimbar.  I don't think it's fair you have to listen to that cow for another 7 months or whatever.  Any chance you could move?  Or maybe make up a topic to bang on about any time she tries to talk to you.  Like kitchen renovation.  Get a whole lot of mags and almost identical bench top samples and anytime she even looks in your direction ask her opinion on what you should get.   That should drive her away.   No offence to anyone actually renovating a kitchen.... wink.gif

Hehehe CC.  That pizza post made me laugh.   I'm so sorry it didn't work for you this time.   But your plan to take the rest of the year and get healthy sounds great.  I'm doing the same.  Then we can be cycle buddies in 2011.

Hi Spocky.  Sounds like the counsellor was OK, and has some understanding of what you are going through.  Are you going to see her regularly?    Did she have any suggestions for you (us???).

Hi Panda, how did you go with your new clinic yesterday?  To answer your question, yes the antag cycle is the one without sniffing but with orangutan or whatever its called.

On that note, my freeze-all cycle is going OK, but I can see a difference between Dec last year and now - about half the number of follies it seems.  Sigh.  I never had a problem with egg numbers before and I wonder whether that is going to become a problem now.   I start the antag tomorrow and having another scan and BT on Friday.    

I'm going on an overnight yacht race on Friday, and will have to inject 2 needles on a racing yacht somewhere off the coast of NSW in the dark without letting the rest of the crew (8 boys) know.  That will be interesting...

Hello to everyone else, Still, Carita, Rose, Shiba and all.  

M

#53 ~Panda~

Posted 06 October 2010 - 07:27 PM

Hi all.

I'm Just stopping in quickly as I'm on my phone and 6 hours away from home!

My FS appointment went well at FS. The FS was a bit overwhelmed by my history and recurrent m/c's but was determined which is good. I have to travel back to Sydney in about 6 weeks for a uterine biopsy. I'm disappointed the Ivf process won't be started straight away.  

Kimbar - sorry you have to listen to such crap at your work place. I thought being aroung 3 pregnant women at work was bad enough, but being around someone like that would be hard. My friend went off the pill when her boyfriend wanted to leave her and had a one night stand with her ex. She fell pregnant and he stayed. It is so unfair it happens so easily for those who don't appreciate it.

#54 Spock

Posted 06 October 2010 - 09:43 PM

cheshire cat, I hope you enjoyed your pizza biggrin.gif . Sometimes pizza is healthy. I know what you mean about wanting to take care of your body and get healthy. I'm planning on starting an early morning yoga course at the end of this month and dragging dh along with me. We have both become very unfit with growing tummies. It doesn't help that you feel bad enough with all the ivf that your body just loses the plot. I hope if you do take a break you keep popping in here as I will miss you otherwise.

meggie, well I hope all those eggs make it to become great embies so that the lower follicle number won't matter. Really it is just how many eggs get there so my fingers are crossed for you. Do you have the new iphone? Why, you ask...well dh has one and he has a free app. he downloaded to it that let's him use the flash light as a torch. It is a LED light so pretty strong. Might be useful for your yachting trip with those needles.

Thanks for asking about my counsellor meggie. I don't see her regularly, usually just when starting a cycle, just after a transfer and then when I get news (good or bad). Really she just makes me feel like I'm normal with my reactions. She gave me some breathing exercises so I won't get emotional at bad times when those negative thoughts creep into your head. It was just good to hear I'm not crazy and I'm not unemotional - I was worried as I haven't broken down in tears yet, she says it's because I've numbed myself to the pain because it is too much for me to deal with right now. Apparently this is a common way to deal with repeat ivf failures and m/c.

panda, glad your appointment with your new fs went well. Sounds encouraging.

hi everyone else,

afm, of to the epc tomorrow morning for a scan and bt but I don't think anything is happening sad.gif . Feeling very lonely going through all this. So glad I have all of you. I saw 'Precious' last night on dvd. I didn't realise how depressing and confronting it was. Made me feel worse. I keep picking dvds that really aren't good for my present state of mind.

#55 full of hope

Posted 07 October 2010 - 07:16 PM

Hi everyone,
I was wondering if it was okay to join your buddy group? Although I have an amazing DH who is a fantastic support I feel quite alone in this journey. I don't have anyone in my life who understands IVF and how difficult it is. Perhaps I should share my info:

Name : jodie*s
Age : 33
Location: Victoria
Diagnosis: Severe tube damage from a surgeon's mistake during appendectomy at age 15 resulting in removal of both tubes in 2009
IVF: #1 ICSI (early miscarriage), #2 FET, #3 FET, #4 FET, #5 FET (cancelled), #6 ICSI two embies, currently waiting to start #7 FET two embies (Late Oct 2010)
Meds: aspirin, clexane, prednisolone, crinone, estradot, moniclav
Alternative: Kineseology, Reflexology

#56 meggie2

Posted 07 October 2010 - 08:22 PM

Hi Jodie
Welcome.   Chat more soon.

#57 Rangeman

Posted 08 October 2010 - 07:54 AM

CC - I laughed when I read your pizza post, one minute you're being healthy and the next the pizza has arrived!!!! But as Spock said pizza can be healthy it's got tomatoes on it hasn't it........

Spock - you're not having a good year are you.  This is a very lonley time and everything you've been through just highlights it.  I'm thinking of you.

Meggie - Renovations, that's a classic I might start doing that to her.  Have fun on your yacht race be careful sticking yourself, who knows where the needle will end up if you're doing it in the dark and at the mercy of the waves.  Us IVF girls sure can multitask.

Big welcome to Jodie's, you sure are on a whole lot of drugs you poor old thing.

Hi to Still, Spring, Panda, Carita and everyone else I've forgotten.






#58 Spock

Posted 09 October 2010 - 06:18 PM

hi ladies, hope you're all having a nice weekend.

jodie, welcome! This is a great group of ladies to share your journey with. You sure have been through some rough times so I hope joining our group brings you some luck.

cc, how goes the health kick?

meggie, hope the sticking on the yacht race is working out okay.

kimbar, still, rose, panda waves.gif

afm, my body still thinks it's pregnant as my hcg is still going up. Very distressing so keeping busy so I won't dwell on this. Looks like it will be another d&c, probably Wednesday. Going to see the fs on Tuesday. Really need some guidance on where to from here? Consoling myself with good wine and smelly blue cheese.

I'm sure some of you saw my post on the primary infertility board asking about others who may have had similar sad experiences with ivf, and not a peep from anyone sad.gif . I had one PMP which did help though.

#59 ~Panda~

Posted 10 October 2010 - 12:40 PM

Hi all. What is everyone up to today?

I read over my post (I was on my iPhone in Sydney) and there were so many mistakes!  blush.gif

Spock - Sorry, I wish I could help you. I have had 5 losses (1 of them chemical - which was a medicated FET cycle) but the others were from natural cycles. What meds are you on after EPU/transfer? I can't remember, did you say whether or not you have had a uterine biopsy to check for NK killer cells? My hcg went up to 200,000+ with my first m/c and it is awful, isn't it? You want to feel 'normal' again yet your body is reminding you of what is going on sad.gif I hope things sort themselves out quickly for you. A massive hug coming your way.

CC - Love it! That is something I would do/say. Pizza has your main food groups, Meat, carbs, dairy and vegetables.  laughing2.gif  I love home made pizza original.gif I make a yummy pesto/chicken one and a satay one. DH is obsessed with them. How are you feeling?

Jodie - Welcome original.gif I joined not long before you so I am a newbie to this group also. The women in here are so kind original.gif

Meggie - Enjoy your yacht race! As Kimbar said - be careful jabbing yourself! You don't want to accidently jab one of the 8 boys!  laughing2.gif

Having a bit of an emotional day sad.gif 2 of my angels were due in October (1 angel would have been 2 this month and the other would have been turning 1) and I lost my twins last October. October is not my month sad.gif

I think I will watch some Grey's and Bones to take my mind off things.

Can I ask everyone, what do you all try and do to take your mind off things through this process? I have been ttc for 3 years, which I know is not long compared to some, but very long compared to a lot of my friends, and I go through periods of being 'fine' then I have times where I want to stamp my feet and yell "NOW, I want a baby right NOW". It obviously feels worse when I have had a m/c, failed IVF cycle or my friends announce their pregnancy and say "it happened straight away". I have 3 women pregnant at my work and it is difficult looking at them, especially that they are both having their second child and I was having a m/c before they were pregnant with their first. It is a constant reminder of how much time has passed. I am so good at putting on a brave face and asking all the right questions, but behind closed doors I can get quite emotional.

Can I ask if anyone else here goes to RPA? I know we can't really discuss clinics (can we?) but thought I'd see if anyone has used them, and if so, maybe they could PM me to tell me if they are OK. I have only been through SIVF Kent St so finding the change a bit daunting since I have seen the same FS for the last 1.5 years.

Anyway, enough from me. Hi to everyone else.

Edited by ~Panda~, 10 October 2010 - 12:42 PM.


#60 stillinhope

Posted 10 October 2010 - 07:33 PM

***PG mentioned***

Hi Ladies,

Just thought id pop in and say hi.
I know i am not posting much in here (or anywhere really) but i do read all your posts and keep and eye on things..this will sound weird but i do miss u all!

Welcome to all the newbies, this group has really taken off!

I think under the circumstances that perhaps someone else should take over the buddy list i made..i try to post it on page 1 of each new thread so we can go back and see whos who and whats what...

I dont want to upset anyone but just to let the newbies know why im saying all this, i am pg...after starting this BG and i havent wanted to leave yet nno.gif ....i still have faith for you all...

Megs - hows the yacht race going? hope ur feeling ok with the jabs..whens opu? hows ur mum?

Panda - im so sorry to read about 'October' for you..i cant even imagine how hard this is for you..

Spock - my heart goes out to you, im so sorry that you are goign through such a traumatic time.. i dont even know what to say...the wine sounds lovely

CC- funny thing is is didnt even notice the irony about the pizza, whats that saying about me!!! Im eating everything in site!

Kimbar - waves.gif

Hi to everyone else, carita, laffi, shiba, hope your all ok...

have a good week girls

xo

#61 ~Panda~

Posted 10 October 2010 - 09:05 PM

Still - Congrats! That is such wonderful news. Looking at your sig, you have waited many years sad.gif I don't blame you for not wanting to leave. The ladies are so nice and I think journeys like all of ours make it difficult to just jump into a DIG group. I love hearing about stories like yours original.gif It gives us all hope original.gif

#62 cheshire_cat

Posted 13 October 2010 - 09:53 AM

Hi ladies!

still- we love seeing you around, it does give some hope to see a pg continuing healthily after multiple cycles. You're our lucky mascot! And thanks for starting this BG!

Panda--- hmmm your question about keeping your mind off things... I'm pretty terrible actually, and I also get the 'I want a baby now!' moods. Sometimes I even find myself looking at prams, cots etc online and thinking about what I would choose. Really not good!!! I've gone back to uni part time (for pleasure not work), so that does help to get my mind off things. And watching trashy TV series on DVD (for example after my latest BFN I watched the whole series of Vampire Diaries over a weekend  blush.gif blush.gif ). Anyway I hope you get through October ok, it must be a sad month for you.. hugs bbighug.gif  

Spock- so sorry you're still dealing with the aftermath & are looking at a d&c sad.gif It might be worth pushing to try Clexane for your next cycle? Hope you're feeling ok and that your FS has some good proactive advice for your next attempt hhugs.gif

jodie- welcome- yes this group is great for sharing experiences with lots of lovely ladies who have 'been there'. Wishing you luck for your next FET!

megs- how was your yachting? Hope the injecting went ok- sounds like a bit of a challenge!

Kimbar- hope that silly girl is keeping her pg to herself!

carita, shiba, hope you're doing well-- have I forgotten anyone?

As for me- yep am on my health kick now- no more pizza! I already feel a bit better- it does help to know you're making an effort to take care of yourself. I think I'll stick to taking the rest of the year off, although I'm tempted to go back for FET once I get AF again. Not sure..... I would love to lose about 10 kilos & get back to my preferred weight, but it's so hard during a cycle as you all know! How would I get through a BFN without chocolate and couch-fests??? Can it be done?

Edited by cheshire_cat, 13 October 2010 - 09:56 AM.


#63 Guest_shiba_*

Posted 13 October 2010 - 01:28 PM

Hi everyone, hello to all the newbies! Just thought it's about time I checked in to see how everyone's going.  

Panda - Nice to meet you. I too have been ttc for 3 years and I really can't believe it's been this long.  I have my good and bad days...my bad ones are usually a few days after a transfer when I don't feel any symptoms and I know it didn't work, yet again.  I've been lucky to not have experienced the heartbreak of a mc, and have only ever seen the two lines once (which ended before it even started).  Over time, I've learnt not to obsess over little things because nothing is within my control.  I have a cry, then I move on and focus on the next cycle.  Keeping myself busy certainly makes the days go faster.  Since getting a crazily active puppy, my days are now strictly scheduled which leaves little time for the mind to go wandering.

bbighug.gif  to Spock and CC.

Spock - how did your FS appointment go?

CC - Do what feels right for you at the moment.  I think it's a good idea to take a break and get your body back in shape.  I'm sure you'll feel heaps better, physically and emotionally, before you face your next cycle.

AFM I've taken a break from ivf and ttc this month.  Time in the sack is so much better without the thought of ttc in mind!!  I'll be seeing a new FS tomorrow, so hopefully he can give a second opinion for my situation and maybe start a new cycle pretty much right away.  I do feel very refreshed and relaxed this month even though I'm busier than before....I have my puppy to thank!

#64 ~Panda~

Posted 13 October 2010 - 04:54 PM

CC -  biggrin.gif  All of this 'fertility stuff' got me watching Vampire Diaries too! So we can be shameful together. Hehehe. I also watched Twilight then read all the books 18 months ago when I was having a tough time. There must be something about vampires that help distract you through hard times. LOL. Good on you for sticking to your health plan. Mine has lasted 2 days and now I am getting Carbonara takeaway with my friend tonight  rolleyes.gif  I have been trying to have - a banana, frozen mixed berries, bit of milk, honey, few drops of vanilla essence and a few ice cubes all blended, in the afternoons as usually I come home from work and pig out.  blush.gif  I find this stops me from pigging out and is reasonably healthy as I use low-fat milk (and not much).

Shiba - Hi original.gif It's nice to take a month off ttc every now and then. Did you get a new puppy? What kind of breed? I am in love with dogs! My dog Milly is so gorgeous. She takes very good care of me.

Edited by ~Panda~, 13 October 2010 - 04:56 PM.


#65 full of hope

Posted 13 October 2010 - 05:56 PM

Hi everyone and thanks for the lovely welcomes,

Kimbar - I am blown away by your workmate and her selfishness. Apart from being apalled I am concerned as to the type of child that she will raise with moral standards like hers. I imagine that listening to her every day would push you to physical violence (or at least imagining it!)

Meggie2 - your post gave me a lightbulb moment. I have completely stopped my life since beginning IVF as I thought it just wasn't possible to keep track of meds, appointments, my sanity and my 'secret' aswell as going places and seeing people. If you can go yachting overnight and manage to inject yourself in the dark with boys around then I need to get over myself and start living again. Thank you.

Spock - did you need to go in for a D&C today? I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Was the FS able to give you some answers or ideas for recurrent MC?

Panda - I bet you feel like crawling in a hole for October and coming out once November starts. Hope you have someone special in your life to take care of you in this difficult month. What do I do to keep my mind off things? I work, and work and work. Probably not the best solution though.

Stillinhope - Congratulations! I love hearing when people who have been through this difficult journey really do get the success that we all dream of. It gives me hope, especially in those times when I am ready to give up.

Cheshirecat & Shiba - I took this month off (not a significant amount of time, I know) and it was the best thing I could do for myself. After every failure I have jumped straight in to the next transfer without a break because I know what I want (and I want it now!). I didn't cope terribly well after my last failed transfer and decided it was either some time off or I would quit. I am now waiting for AF and ready to go again. It was lovely just living for awhile without checking my diary for appointments, blood tests, scans, and meds every five seconds. I hope you enjoy your time off looking after yourselves, if that is what you decide to do.

Please forgive me if I have forgotten anyone...as you know I'm new to this buddy group and it may take me a little while to get on track.

AFM - I am waiting for AF (due today) so that I can start having my daily blood tests to check for ovulation. Lucky me, the OPK's don't work for me so I need to get blood tests at the clinic. One month I was in every day or second day for 12 days. We have 5 frosties (blasts) so fingers crossed that they thaw well (one transfer we lost five at thaw). My doctor believes that my immune system is working overtime so it is getting rid of the embies thinking that they are foreign objects, hence all of the extra meds.

#66 meggie2

Posted 14 October 2010 - 11:06 AM

Hi everyone

Hi Spocky. Thinking of you. Hoping you are getting some resolution one way or another. How did you go with the FS on Tuesday. I hope you got a hug. Has he/she sent you for more tests?

Hi CC. Do you (and any of the other girls "on hold") want to set some combined fitness goals with me for the rest of the year? I have about 10 kgs to lose as well. We could do the couch to 5k running programme together. http://www.c25k.com/ It takes 9 weeks.

Hi Shiba. Glad you are enjoying your month off with new doggy. Is he at the teenaged lollopy stage yet? Love that age in pets. How did the new FS go?

Jodie it's interesting what you say about the immune system. I can't remember, did you say you tested positive for something or are they just trying the meds on spec? I think that is something I want to try soon, as I have tx 13 blasts with no sticky pg.

Hi Panda, yes I read all the Twilights over the course of a cycle. Have you seen True Blood? I saw some episodes on a plane and I want to get the DVDs but am saving them up for next year when I start transferring again. Sad but true.

Hi Kim. How's the workmate. Still alive and kicking, or do you need an alibi? We are here for you as you know.

Hi Carita, Rose, Still
and everyone.

AFM I managed to bring the jab time gradually forward so I could do it before the start of the yacht race, which was much easier. It was a magic race actually. We started at 8pm and raced all the way down the coast to Wollongong overnight. There was no moon so it was really dark, and there was heaps of phosphorescence in the water. Every so often we had dolphins come along side and play in the waves, like glowing torpedos. Amazing.

The sun came up on the way back to Sydney, and we finished in time for brunch and champers.

Then crashed for the rest of the weekend. Do you think Puregon makes you tired?

I did my trigger at 3am so the EPU is on Friday at 3pm. They can't get their heads around the freeze-all cycle - they keep trying to foist Crinone on me, grr as if I would use that if I don't have to. Looks like 3 follies on the right and maybe 4 - 5 on the left so down from last year but still OK hopefully. I feel so detatched from the process.

Then a good long (enforced) break til Jan/Feb next year. Very worried I will decompensate at Christmas. Will have to plan some good stuff to do.

XX00 to everyone.

M

Edited by meggie2, 14 October 2010 - 11:09 AM.


#67 Rangeman

Posted 14 October 2010 - 12:08 PM

Hello All,

Meggie - your yacht race sounded beautiful.  I'm keen to give the running thing a go I need all the help I can get, I've been going to Contours gym at lunch time with a girl from work and I've been getting the Lite 'n' Easy breakfasts & lunches - losing weight is a long slow process isn't it.  Good luck for tomorrow.

Jodie's - hope AF shows up for on time, whenever you want her to come she never bloody does.

Shiba - glad you're feeling nice & relaxed and enjoying your puppy.

CC - BFN with no couch or chocolate.....impossible!!! Any closer to a decision about your FET???

Still - How far are you now, you've got to be getting up there?

Spock - sh*tty news about the D&C hope the wine & cheese is helping a little.

Big hello to Panda, Spring, Rose & everyone - we're getting so big now.

Well I am sooooo into True Blood (go Eric, go Eric I lurrrrv you) I have watched it from the beginning and have all the books and DVD's, yes I'm a sad, sad person.  I tell DH that there will be no talking on Thursday night from 8.30-9.30 while I watch TB I'm about half way through the 3rd season - anybody else watching it on Austar/Fox?  I have read all the Twighlight Books about 3 times (yes, yes I'm sad) and am now into author JR Ward books The Black Dagger Brotherhood - hot sex mixed with vamps.

As for the preg tart at work, well I'm coping much better and even managed not to kill or maim her (Meggie, no need to bail me out just yet).  I think my problem was that I was shocked she was preg - fancy being shocked that some girl turns up preg, how unnatural - but I was, I don't need to explain here you all know the feeling.

Anway enough warbling from me.






#68 meggie2

Posted 14 October 2010 - 01:19 PM

Hi Kim and anyone else wants to run 5km by Christmas, this is what the programme says we have to do in the first week:

Workout 1 Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.
Workout 2  Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.
Workout 3 Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

I'm going to do Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Can't start today - ovaries hurt.

Who's in?

M

Edited by meggie2, 14 October 2010 - 01:20 PM.


#69 ~Panda~

Posted 14 October 2010 - 02:49 PM

Afternoon ladies original.gif

Thanks to those who gave me words of comfort at this difficult time. I am a school teacher and had some bad news about 2 of my kids I teach/taught. I can't go into it on here but it is very sad sad.gif October - I officially hate you!

Another True Blood fan here! I have watched all of season 1, 2 and 3! (I keep up with USA pace). Another Eric lover here! I love all 10 books. If anyone wants to read them, I do have them as PDF files too. Even if it is just to give you an idea if you like the first 1 or 2 before you buy them. I have the Stanza app on my iphone (like Kindle) and transfer them on to it so it makes it very easy for me to read them. Great if you are waiting at a doctor's appointment, etc.

Kimbar - just for you. Hehehehe.



So, I am surrounded by pregnant people at work. One of them, who is 34 weeks, who knows I have had many m/c's (not about IVF though) kept going on and on about all the baby clothes etc out there, the nursery, the u/s's, all the kicks she gets etc to me. I felt like saying "are you thick?" but I just smiled politely and made the appropriate "ohhh" and "ahhhh" sounds over what she was saying. There are so many other people she could discuss it with (like the other pregnant women). We are not close but work knows a bit about my history because 1) It is a bit of a gossip school and 2) I was in hospital for a long time so they found out what was wrong with me.

Meggie - the yacht race sounds amazing. I am glad you could move jab time. Yes, Puregon makes me tired too. I guess it depends on your dosage. The first cycle I took it I was on 200 and had 28 follies so was exhausted. I got OHSS that cycle which was awful. The last time I took it I was only on 100 and was much better, still a little tender though. I like your exercise routine. I might join in. I am actually going to Body Attack tonight at the gym. Wish me luck!

Jodie - What sort of work do you do? I used to work work work too, but have cut my hours back to just 3 days a week this year as I was always sick and wanted to give my body a better chance when ttc. I am still busy though! I have been painting my old (100 years) house as it has 12ft ceilings with metal press, etc. I also watch a lot of TV shows (I never used to) and read plenty. I also have to travel 6 hours each way to my clinic so that keeps me busy too! I hear you about the BTs! When I was in hospital for 3 weeks I had one every day. Now that I am getting a uterine biopsy next month, I was told I will have a BT daily for up to 21 days sad.gif You really get so over them.

Sorry if there are mistakes - I couldn't be bothered to edit my work! I am off duty  laugh.gif

ETA - a funny show that takes my mind off things is Modern Family. Can't stop laughing when I watch it. Very silly but hilarious.

Edited by ~Panda~, 14 October 2010 - 02:57 PM.


#70 Guest_shiba_*

Posted 14 October 2010 - 09:30 PM

Haha!  Count me in as a True Blood fan too...it's just awesome (Team Eric)!

Anyways, I went to see my new FS today and I've never met anyone so energetic and positive!  Some would find him slightly arrogant but I think it's really refreshing for a doctor to be so upbeat and yet to the point.  He's decided since nothing has worked for me in the past, he's switch my medications to the alternatives, i.e. instead of Gonal F I get Puregon, and instead of Synarel I get Cetrotide.  He's also proactive in prescribing Prednisolone to suppress the possibility of NK cells, despite not having a biopsy to diagnose this.  He acknowledged the fact that I've never had a true pregnancy, so he felt it's right to give it a try.  Maybe I'm a bit naive to let all this new "stuff" affect me like this, but I feel a glimmer of hope once again blush.gif

Meggie, Panda
- my puppy is 4 months old and it's a Shiba Inu (hence my username).  He is a ball of energy and supposedly one of the harder breeds to train.  Nevertheless I wouldn't have it any other way.  He is cute and a little quirky and I love him to bits  biggrin.gif

Kimbar - tell me about being shocked at pregnant women.  I just saw my neighbour pregnant today and I felt a bit surprised, considering the last one that live in her house (before she rented it) was pregnant too!!  Perhaps I should move next door.

#71 Spock

Posted 15 October 2010 - 11:00 AM

good morning ladies, sorry i've been mia, i saw the recurrent m/c fs on tuesday, had my d&c wednesday, recuperated at home yesterday and now back at work. what a week.

shiba, your puppy sounds so cute! we were thinking of getting a puppy but as we're about to renovate our house we didn't think we could take a puppy into a rented apartment. i 'borrowed' my mum's beautiful little papillion - spock, hence my name here, over the last few days to keep me company while i was going through the d&c. he is great. he just wants to cuddle and have belly rubs.

panda, sending you lots of bbighug.gif s during this difficult month. i know how you feel. i also hope the 2 kids you teach are doing okay, i won't pry. that's quite mean of tjhe 34 week pregnant lady to keep yapping on to you about baby stuff. maybe you could turn the topic towards True Blood...

meggie, thanks for the 5km training details. sounds like a good and realistic goal. my sister is a personal trainer and is putting together a weight loss program for me but i have a feeling this will involve aerobics, which i'm hopeless at. i actually knock people over! if she does i think i will replace this with the running course you've given here so count me in. so nice to know you and others in our group will be doing this too so i'm not alone in trying to shed those ivf kilos. i will aim to start monday. your yacht race sounded so exciting. glad you managed the jabbing happy.gif well. best of luck with your epu today.

kimbar, good to hear you're developing a thick skin about the preg. tart at work. i'm still annoyed for you.

cc, how is the health kick working out? early days i know. a break sounds good. i'm joining you for both happy.gif . luckily i'm not a chocolate fan but i do like my smelly cheese. i've started drinking that horrible v8 juice in the mornings this week.

jodie, has af arrived? i hope the meds. work out for you.

still, thanks for sticking around, it gives me hope as i know you also went through a tough time.

waves.gif to anyone i missed (sorry i'm trying to type really quickly and secretly at my desk at work).

afm, i ended up having a d&c as nothing was moving and i was just getting upset knowing what i was carrying around. my hcg was still going up! i was hoping some testing like a uterine biopsy could've been combined with my d&c (seeing there would be ga involved) but looks like you have to wait till your body becomes un-pregnant before you can do any investigations. i seem to be recovering well as no pain today but i'm really bloated. i hope this goes down as going to a wedding tomorrow and i only have 1 appropriate dress that fitted last week - so might not fit tomorrow.

looks like i will be taking a break for the rest of 2010 from ttc as going to have more bts, a possible laporoscopy, uterine biopsy and  hysteroscopy once af arrives. as i just had a d&c it will take a bit longer for af to arrive than usual. by the time i recover from the investigations it will probably be 2011 anyway so figured i might as well get fit and lose those (at least) 5kg i've put on this year alone. have any of you had these investigations? sounds scary. one of the bt's i'll be having is to check the 'age' of my eggs as there is some rare condition where your eggs can be older than your actual age. i'm actually quite scared about this one as there is no real treatment, means the risk of m/c is even higher. i'm sad as has been a horrific year but i'm hoping by throwing myself into getting fit i'll start to feel better about myself. i used to be such a good long distance runner.

yes, i'm also a sucker for more tv series than i ever used to be. we don't have cable so no true blood for me (but the bits i've seen look good). i've been watching vampire diaries, gosspi girl, modern family on tv. i also watch sex n the city and 30 rock on dvd. i used to love buffy and have the whole dvd collection which i've watched through various cycles. i'm also a sucker for those bbc drama productions. i just bought the little dorrit to watch for my next cycle - sad how you actually start to plan ahead because ivf becomes such a big part of your day to day life. i'm also a quickflix member so watch loads of movies. it's great 'cause there is no return date.

sorry gotta run...

#72 Spock

Posted 15 October 2010 - 11:13 AM

sorry about that, had to dash to a meeting.

just a quick one about the recurrent m/c fs consultation - thanks for asking everyone. it went well. looks like a few more tests and investigations. i get the feeling that if my test results keep coming back normal i won't be put on any aspirin, clexane or pred..i'm actually quite scared now of my next transfer turning into another m/c. i don't believe in 'rare' any more because these 'rare' things keep happening to me and others (like some of you). i think we will probably stick with my regular fs as he works closely with the recurrent m/c fs we saw (they are at the same clinic and are old colleagues) unless my regular fs advises us to change. seeing my regular fs in 2 weeks.

#73 cheshire_cat

Posted 16 October 2010 - 08:35 PM

Hi all,

Spock, hope you're bearing up after your d&c, what a tough year you've had sad.gif Good idea to do the lap, biopsy etc, hopefully you'll get some answers from that. Oh yes and I totally love BBC adaptations, I own quite a few (the only DVDs I actually own), and get them out periodically to re-watch. Haven't seen Little Dorrit yet though.

Shiba- yep another True Blood fan here too! That's so great that your new FS seems good, hope he's able to deliver some good results for you. I feel exactly the same about trying new things, even if it's not proven, it does give a new glimmer of hope.

Panda- Blergh to that pg lady at your work mad.gif It never ceases to amaze me how insensitive some people are. Makes you wonder if she's quietly enjoying it? Hope nasty October passes swiftly for you xx

meggie- yes that exercise plan sounds great! We're baby-sitting my mum's dog at the moment so maybe I'll try to incorporate walking her with those routines (Dog is snoring rather loudly on the couch as I write! She's a very beautiful but utterly spoilt Cavalier King Charles). And hey- how was your EPU??!!!

Kimbar I'd love to be watching TB third series but don't have cable, will have to wait for the DVD. How's your cycle going? Can't remember where you are up to?


carita, jodie
, hope all's well??

so AFM------ bleerrgghh I'm feeling so down! I think the reality of being 'on a break' has hit me with all the anxiety and 'oh-my-god-I'm wasting-time' feelings. I know having a break is a positive thing but it just delays even further the vaguest chance of me actually having a baby one day sad.gif In moods like this I crave comfort food, DH is so busy at the moment so I am feeling a bit lonesome too. I've been eating reasonably well but tonight's sooky mood has seen me eat a little bit more than I'd intended. Losing weight seems to be just one more impossible task.... sad.gif (sorry that turned out to be a total vent!)

On a positive note, am reading a fantastic book- 'The Children's Book' by A.S. Byatt (I know it sounds like a book to avoid during IVF but it's not specifically about kids!)

Edited by cheshire_cat, 16 October 2010 - 08:38 PM.


#74 Guest_senecio_*

Posted 17 October 2010 - 09:52 AM

Hi ladies,

I wonder if you mind if I join you? I'm not sure if I quite qualify as a "multiple cycles and long-hauler". I know I haven't been through as much as many of you strong women have. But I feel like I'm heading that way and I also don't feel like I quite belong in the other buddy groups. People seem to come and go so quickly from them - BFPs first or second time. It's wonderful for them but is starting to make me feel hopeless.

As you can see from my sig I'm 36, we've been TTCing for nearly 3 years, IVFing for nearly one year (five transfers so far) and had one BFP in that time, which ended badly.

I hope you don't mind me being here... original.gif

#75 HRH Countrymel

Posted 17 October 2010 - 10:02 AM

Hi I've trailed over here behind senecio... I read her post and it is how I'm feeling too.

I'm in the same sort of boat...

This has only been my second stim. (so 7 transfers all up - one resulting in a MC) but the TTC journey has been ongoing for the last 5 years.
I'm 39 and it is really starting to get me down. We can't even talk about 'when WE have our baby' in the abstract any more, as it is starting to feel as pointless as saying 'when WE win the tattslotto'.

I don't want children in my life to be a fantasy pipe dream, I want it to be a normal plan.

Hope I'm allowed in?


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