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The miracle of science
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Posted 08 November 2010 - 12:37 PM
I've said it before, but I'll say it again....congratulations, Prue. Just so thrilled for you.
Posted 08 November 2010 - 12:57 PM
Congratulations Prue What wonderful news
I've been following your blog and i'm looking forward to following your pregnancy journey as well
All the best xx
Posted 08 November 2010 - 12:59 PM
Thank you so much for taking us through your horrible journey. I have found it very helpful through my own struggle with infertility.
Even though I was one of the lucky ones who got pregnant on the first cycle of IVF, I never really expected it to work. So now, while I am happy and excited about being pregnant, I still expect the worst. I hope that after the 12 week scan I will stop checking for blood every time I go to the toilet.
All the best for the rest of your pregnancy. I hope that you bond with your babies over the next few months, as they continue to grow and make themselves known to you.
Posted 08 November 2010 - 01:04 PM
Can I write the infertile blog now?
I want want she's having!
Congratulations to you...
I'm sure you have read all the research that explains how common the 'post IVF pregnancy guilt' is... just lie back (or bend over and throw up) and try to enjoy it.
You have no obligation to feel any more or less excited, or more or less scared, or more or less happy than any other pregnant woman - hooray for you!
Posted 08 November 2010 - 01:31 PM
Congratulations Prue (and DH)! I have read about your journey and found your insights really helpful. Friends have recently welcomed a bub after a few years of fertility treatment. I hope I was a good friend throughout (certainly tried), but I now feel even better armed for when they try for bub number 2 and ride the IVF rollercoaster again...
Posted 08 November 2010 - 03:38 PM
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I felt how you felt with my IVF pregnancy as well. When the nurse called to tell me I was pregnant, I just answered in a cool voice "Oh, that's great, thanks". Then I realised I would sound weird if I wasn't excited so I put a bit of 'fake' excitement in the rest of our conversation.
I too was afraid to be happy, believing that it could be easily taken away. I told everybody that I would only believe that I'm having a baby once she is OUT, safe and sound.
Similar to another earlier post, I didn't bond with my baby right away. Hmm, I'm not even sure I bond with her now.. But the first 6 weeks, I didn't want to hold her so much as I was in pain (and wanted to be look after).
Hoping you would enjoy the pregnancy/birth & motherhood experience.
Posted 08 November 2010 - 05:19 PM
What wonderful news, thank you so much for sharing. My eyes welled up with tears as soon as I saw your three magic words. And you're pregnant with twins! Even more exciting. I know what you mean about not feeling a sense of closure now that you're pregnant...life usually doesn't work that way, we just move onto the next thing and worry about that!!
Please keep writing, we'd absolutely love, love, love to hear about your pregnancy journey.
Thanks for giving those of us in TTC land hope and understanding.
Congrats again : )
Posted 08 November 2010 - 06:59 PM
Congratulations Prue!! That is wonderful news, I have been wondering how you went. Wishing you all the best for the remainder of your pregnancy.
Posted 08 November 2010 - 07:52 PM
Woo! I was wondering when you'd spill! Seriously, so so utterly happy for you and your husband! It's funny when you want something so much for someone else, especially one you've never met! Lol I think I'm going to finish every sentence with an exclamation point.
I really hope you have smooth sailing and a lovely long and uneventful pregnancy!
On a side note, I can relate to the lack of bonding/love/whatever with yon fetuseseses (lol), I didn't get teary at ultrasounds, I didn't rub my belly lovingly (I did prod them though, does that count? lol). For me it was a bit foreign, I knew there was a baby in there but I didn't know it, I didn't know them, in a way I was sort of detached from it. And even after they were born it took time to discover who they were, to properly bond with them, because they were in essence strangers. Small monkey-slug like strangers. But it didn't last forever. I got to know them, and it wasn't long before I knew them. Just as with any mother who bonds from the moment they see the positive HPT, that bond was formed and will never be broken.
But enough saccharin ramblings about myself, once again an obscenely massivily hugamungous congratulations to you and your other half!
Posted 08 November 2010 - 08:43 PM
i can relate Prue, it took us 10 years to get our bub.
I too struggled with how to feel while pregnant, as i was very ill and had a lot of early scares. The best thing i did was go for a 3D scan, as it was only after this that I saw the fetus as a real sort of baby. Once I had an idea of what she would look like in real life I was much more comfortable.
I also started talking to her using her name (and altnating the boys name we had picked) and even though it seemed ridiculous at first, I am glad I did. When she was born the first thing she heard was me saying her name and it was then that it became real.
Good luck with the next part of your journey.
Posted 08 November 2010 - 10:14 PM
Hi Prue, Congratulations. I just wanted to say your feelings of ambivalence are very normal after the experience of infertility. Don't worry the right feelings will come at the right time. I remember with my first born walking around feeling like I was fraud pushing a pram. Surely it was really a doll in there and I was a de-ranged infertile woman who just wanted a baby. She was very real and with time it all started to feel normal.
The thing I found strange was I thought having a baby would take away the sadness of infertility but it didn't. To acheive another pregnancy it took yet another 7 transfers and a miscarriage, same as the first time around. Baby number two came and still I felt sad and infertile.
I wrote a very ironic and prophetic message to my IVF friends about the lingering sadeness and would the feeling ever go. One month later I became the woman we all love to hate, I became pregnant naturally, no drugs a month after I stopped nursing. My third was a blessing in so many ways. He also brought healing for me after many years of sadness.
I hope for a safe pregnancy and deilivery and that one day the healing will be there for you too.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 08:51 AM
I had to sign up to say CONGRATULATIONS. The internet is an amazing thing - in that it allows complete strangers to feel like they know you. I really admired you for starting this blog when (obviously) you had no idea how it was going to turn out. You could have been sharing your disappointments for years!! I see that as a very selfless thing to do. You definitely deserve this happy ending.
I am not even trying to get pregnant yet. But I stumbled across your blog early on and have been routinely checking in every since - and it was amazing to see how many people were reading it each time.
It must be funny to think you had women quietly hoping and barracking for you from offices and lounge rooms around the country - if mental energy counts for anything then that has got to have helped!
I think you will have given many people out there hope. I will certainly have a warm and fuzzy feeling all day!!!
All the best with everything.
Edited by mcm, 09 November 2010 - 08:55 AM.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 09:09 AM
Wow & Congratulations!
I have been reading your blog for the last few months and I am very happy that you have achieved a pregnancy!!!!!
Best of luck and enjoy.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 10:58 AM
congratulations is the mildest of words, and I love the other blogger's blessing of 'may your pregnancy be healthy and boring'.
Also a long time TTC and multi-IVF'r, and blessed with a gorgeous DS who turns 2 next month, I have been reading your posts because now, the insanity of infertility is a memory of pain rather than the pain itself, and I don't want to ever completely forget for lots of reasons.
I can relate to the sudden 'shift' of your status now that you actually are pregnant. I know if one more person says 'just relax and enjoy' that you will want to brain them.. so I will be even more pragmatic - the health support network that surrounds you when you are pregnant very suddenly drops away after you have a baby and should you need help, suddenly its a whole new genre of health professional for you and for the little one. It caught be off-guard and I was one of the unlucky 10% that really did need help. The time of year didn't help us - it was over xmas so maybe things would have been different..
anyway if it helps to be practical, ask some mums for health advice and/or contacts for new mums and file it away somewhere, just in case. Sometimes doing something useful and forward thinking can make it seem more real..
Truely this is always lovely lovely news. The opportunity to transform.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 11:13 AM
Honey it's very normal for you to feel that way - after so long and so many disappointments you've created distance from the concept of pregnancy and babies to protect yourself. For you that rush of "Oh my God, look at this miracle" is probably going to come later, maybe even when they're born. For now it's all a bit surreal and that's okay.
What you need to watch for is postnatal depression. IVF and struggling to conceive is like running a marathon and getting over the finish line may lead you to collapse - not celebrate the victory of managing to get there in the end. Just take it one day at a time and don't whip yourself if you don't feel all the warm fuzzies you expected to feel. With my little girl I fell in love with her about a month before she was born - with my little guy it wasn't until the the day after he was born. For my sister-in-law it was not until her little girl was four months old and she finally acknowledged her post natal depression and got help.
You've done it. Enjoy the ride as you discover pregnancy and then your children and their personalities. Be kind to yourself and above all else - congratulations to you both.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 12:02 PM
Thank you Prue. Im not an IVf'er and I feel a little guilty this journey for me was easy to start and fingers crossed is looking like it will continue that way. Its comforting to hear that even somebody who tried so hard to be in this position still feels the same as me. I thought that my feelings werent strong enough because the struggle wasnt there but speaking to people lately I see this is natural.
Congratulations I wish you well for your journey.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 12:40 PM
A very BIG CONGRATULATIONS, Prue. That is wonderful to hear the is visiting.
Wishing you an uneventful, stress free and relaxed pregnancy.
Like some of the pp have said is not unusual for things to feel unreal after in(sub)fertility. I alternated between delight and terror - delight at finally being pregnant and not having to do yet another round of IVF and terror that I might not stay pregnant. Topping it off 22/7 MS.
So enjoy what you can but don't pressure yourself to feel.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 12:45 PM
Fantastic news and not an unexpected emotional reaction either. Go easy on yourself. You've probably gathered from the responses that you are not the only one to have felt this way. I did too.
It feels a little more real when the bub(s) start to kick you, then you get to meet them and then at some point you bond and Pow! you'd do anything for them.
Wishing you an easy and stress free pregnancy. All the best!
Edited by angel70, 09 November 2010 - 12:46 PM.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 01:40 PM
I am so happy for you. I have been reading your blog for a while and I really am really x (100000) happy for you.
Ya know what, pregnany was a little surreal for me too. I didn't believe it until I felt my little fella kick. And even then, I didn't really get it until the put him on my chest when he was born. I knew then that there was nothing I would not do for him. I finally understood true love.
I may not come to you straight away. It may not come for years. But know it's out there.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 01:44 PM
Fantastic news, Prue! Absolutely thrilled for you and your partner - what lucky little people to be entering such a loving home! I remember when I had my first child the immense love and attachment didn't come until he arrived and was safe and it was indescribable and still takes me by surprise every day. All the very best xx
Posted 09 November 2010 - 03:05 PM
Wishing you and your TWO little babies a safe and happy pregnancy & arrival into the world.
Posted 09 November 2010 - 04:00 PM
Congratulations Prue! I'm so so excited and happy for you! How far along are you?
Will you continue writing the blog now or will someone else take over? Seems that it might be a bit of good luck to write this one! There are a few ladies on here with brilliant infertility blogs who would be great at it. I'd LOVE to keep reading about your experiences with pregnancy and parenting after a long IVF journey as well, but it is different to an infertility blog and I'd be sad to see the infertility blog end so soon.
All the best for the coming months and years.
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