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The miracle of science

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#51 snowcandy

Posted 09 November 2010 - 04:08 PM

Congratulations Prue, this is wonderful news to hear and I'm thrilled for you.

When I first learned I was p/g, I didn't feel ready to jump for joy until the first 12 weeks had passed, now I find with each week, each month, the knowledge of my son's pending arrival is more and more real, and more and more exciting.

You've written very openly and honestly about the rollercoaster of IVF and fertility issues, so I wonder if it will take some time to process the legacy that these experiences leave and reach closure that enables you to truly embrace your wonderful miracles.

You have every right to celebrate the joys of your pregnancy, as well as express the challening and just plain uncomfortable parts of it too.

Wonderful news, thankyou for sharing.

#52 doubledaddy

Posted 09 November 2010 - 06:33 PM

QUOTE (WittyKitty @ 07/11/2010, 06:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congrats x 2 biggrin.gif biggrin.gif  

I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and birth, and happy, healthy children.

I think you are just trying to protect yourself, feelings wise. Perfectly natural.

Absolutely best of luck cclap.gif

How is DH taking the twin news?

Hi WittyKitty - DH is (in no particular order):

* Excited
* Relieved
* Wishing he could make the sickness stop / go away
* Panicking slightly
* Learning as much as he can
* Buckling himself in for the ride...

With the IVF it wasn't as much of a surprise as it may have been with a natural conception as we knew that two embryos had been transferred and was a possibility.

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.

#53 LynnyP

Posted 09 November 2010 - 07:07 PM

This was worth coming back for.  Thrilling posts.

#54 Lucky*star

Posted 09 November 2010 - 07:13 PM


Twins are a joy. I felt really strange going from being "infertile" to ripe with two babies.

I would encourage you to join your local AMBA group. Great source of support and information.

My "duo" are almost two and I am still amazed that they are mine.

#55 redchick

Posted 09 November 2010 - 11:37 PM


Like so much of what you have written I totally relate!  When the clinic called to tell me I was pregnant, DH and I didn't know what to do.  Cycle failures were very familiar to us and we knew after each failure what the next step would be.  But being pregnant was a whole new situation and we were happy but very hesitant until the 7wk (and then 12 wk) mark to get excited or to actually think forward to all those dreams we had had about having children.  I think your ambivalence is totally normal (and common!).  

I think there is also a widely held belief (both by people who have and have not gone through IVF) that once someone who has gone through pregnancy losses or fertility treatment is pregnant you should just be so happy that morning sickness and all the other ups and downs of pregnancy shouldn't bother you and you should embrace it all happily.  While I was incredibly thankful to be pregnant I don't think it made morning sickness enjoyable!  

Likewise, new mums who have gone through IVF can also feel like should be enjoying every minute of it and feel guilty if they don't.  I know that I struggled with this when my twin boys were babies (and sometimes even now when my now 3 year olds have been up to mischief!).

It seems that parental guilt and expectations starts early - please be kind to yourself.  Experience your pregnancy journey the way you want to (easier said than done!) and you will feel how you feel.  

Thank you again for your blog - I really hope it continues because I admire your honesty and your willingness to be open about complicated issues and not try to resolve them with simplistic ideas.



#56 mel_73

Posted 10 November 2010 - 07:12 AM

Hi Prue,

I've been following bits of your journey ... and am thrilled for you that you are pregnant original.gif

But after reading your latest post, I feel compelled to write on two points.

If you treat this like any other major project, often then end comes and it's a massive letdown - relief, perhaps, is the overwhelming feeling, and it takes a while to dissipate. I've been working all year to get into medicine; I found out two weeks ago that I DID. All I felt for a while was relief, and some days nothing at all. I'm just starting to have a bit of excitement. We are truly strange creatures!

And for you, you've been so focussed on your 'end point = being pregnant' that your head is having a little trouble realising this is just the beginning!!

Some of us love being pregnant - I did the first time - and some of us don't - I definitely didn't the second time. Maybe you won't, but try to enjoy the journey because the ultimate aim of all of this was to have children in our lives - not just be pregnant and have babies.

And we don't all fall madly in love with them straight off. My eldest son was 6 months old and I drove past the hospital where he was born and cried out my very being - it HIT me! I had been pregnant, I had a baby, I am a mum!

Good luck with it all anyway. It's great.

#57 born.a.girl

Posted 10 November 2010 - 11:09 AM

Don't worry about the way you feel, to my knowledge it's a common feeling when you've had so much difficulty getting pregnant in the first place.

Truth is, you probably don't trust the information enough to move into a different 'headspace' if that makes sense.

Strangely, I had similar feelings, despite getting pregnant the first month I tried.  Because I was 38, I expected it to take ages, then suddenly I was in a state I very badly wanted, but didn't expect to be in.

It was quite weird, I felt ungrateful, I wasn't, but also had difficulty believing I was going to be 'a mother'.

When those little wrigglers are wriggling around outside your body denial will not be an option. original.gif)

#58 ThatsNotMyName

Posted 10 November 2010 - 12:16 PM

Oh wow Prue this is such wonderful news, a huge congratulations to you & your DH!

I think the disconnected feeling is completely understandable, you go through so much in order to achieve what you're aiming for but there's often this self preservation cut off switch at work just in case it never happens or all falls in a heap. We haven't had the hard road of primary infertility & IVF, but have suffered 3 miscarriages in the attempt to have a second child. Although we're obviously extremely happy that things appear to be going well this time we both have degrees of disconnection with this pregnancy as we work to bring down the walls that we put up to protect ourselves from further hurt and disappointment. We're getting there slowly, I'm sure you will too in your own time. Good luck and once again woooohoooo!!!!!

#59 nellista

Posted 10 November 2010 - 01:15 PM

Congratulations Prue!  I have read many of your blog entries over time and been moved to tears by your story and your way with words.  While I was lucky enough to conceive on clomid (PCOS), I could relate to your experiences and feelings.
I remember the first part of the pregnancy feeling like their was nothing much to do for the baby, to early to get things ready, doctors appoints still far apart...so I did pre-natal yoga to actually feel like I was doing something to get ready~

#60 ldolphin

Posted 10 November 2010 - 04:32 PM


Thanks so much for your honesty and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I also had a long fought battle to get my daughter (now 5 1/2 and getting ready for big school) and can understand your feelings of, well nothing.

I think part of you doesn't actually believe you are pregnant and for me I had 9 months of waiting for something to go wrong or for someone to tell me it was all a dream. When you try so hard (I had 7 years of trying with two miscarriages) it seems a bit surreal when it works and can be hard to process.

I was lucky to have a healthy daughter and love her so much. I can understand a previous person saying your heart swells when you look at your kids, especially when they are sleeping. It doesn't matter how old they are, when they are asleep they look like your little baby again.

I am now in the process of trying again at 44. I know my chances are slim, but just like with my daughter, I have a strong belief that it will happen if it is meant to.

So good luck with your pregnancy and just be patient..all the good stuff is coming.

Lisa xxx

#61 Ards

Posted 10 November 2010 - 04:53 PM

a big congratulations to you and your hubby biggrin.gif

#62 AmityD

Posted 10 November 2010 - 05:08 PM

My warmest congratulations to you and your partner Prue. Fantastic news! original.gif

#63 unchanged

Posted 10 November 2010 - 05:11 PM

How wonderful!   All the very best for you and the fetii

#64 Rocket

Posted 10 November 2010 - 08:22 PM

That's just awesome.

#65 paulagirl

Posted 10 November 2010 - 09:14 PM

YES! YES! YESSSSSS!!!! Congratulations, Prue!

#66 Joeyinpouch

Posted 10 November 2010 - 09:32 PM

I know exactly what you mean.  

After 7 ivf cycles and a further 3 frozen transfers I was programmed to expect disappointment and to look for problems/obsticals to solve.

I didn't have the language for success and I was been cautioned by family and doctors to be cautious because of my age.  So now at 37 weeks in to this pregnancy it has taken me a long time to stop self protecting and accept that it has finally worked this time and I can breath out and believe and accept success.

Friends who just became pregnant easily tell me they had trouble making the head shift too so maybe it's not just us "subfertiles" that have the mental challenge to overcome. In fact I have read that the duration of pregnancy prepares not just you and your baby physically but also your head space mentally for acceptance of what is to come.

Congratulations you did it! Give your brain time to catch up it will - for me it was the movements that really made it finally feel tangible.

#67 Abbygirl

Posted 10 November 2010 - 10:14 PM

Congratulations on your pregnancy Prue, and twins too !!

Another here who's followed your blog, and I love your down to earth honesty.  I'm looking forward to reading about this next stage in your journey to parenthood, good luck original.gif

#68 Betty111

Posted 11 November 2010 - 05:30 AM

FINALLY!!! I have found someone who feels the same way! Thanks for writing your blog biggrin.gif After 8 years of trying, including IVF and everything else under the sun. I gave it all away and thought well it's not meant to happen and then BOOM, my eggo is preggo. But I am not sure what to feel??? YES of course I am HAPPY but not like what I thought I would be. Im not crying for joy, in fact I am kind of confused. I have had sooooooo many tears over not getting pregnant, Am I all cried out???  All my friends are crying for me and I feel like a heartless robot. Maybe it's because even though I've seen the ultrasound I am still in disbelief and feel like it could all be taken away? All I know is I am thankful for the honesty in your writing, it makes me feel a bit more human... Congrats and here's hoping we will both get our elated feelings soon! 23 weeks to go  bbaby.gif

#69 cbmummy

Posted 11 November 2010 - 10:28 AM

Hi Prue,

I've been following your journey and admiring your candidness. Well done and congratulations - Twins as well!! You're not going to have time to blog any more!!  bbighug.gif

#70 clairdelune

Posted 11 November 2010 - 04:50 PM

But I am glad, and happy, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Congrats, Prue.  I'm thrilled for you original.gif

#71 thegalwho

Posted 12 November 2010 - 04:32 AM

Congratulations, such wonderful news.

While I understand your confusion of how to feel and your desire and perhaps want to keep a safe distance from your pregnancy after struggling TO get pregnant, the simple fact is that you ARE pregnant and you need to enjoy it.

There are SO many who would swap places with you in a heartbeat and I think one moment spent NOT enjoying it, NOT revelling in it, NOT drinking in being pregnant with not one BUT two babies, well it would be wasted and a bit of a slap in the face to those of us who read you who for whatever reason, can't get pregnant OR can't stay pregnant in my case.

My 8 miscarriages have taught me that you live for the moment, you simply must, the future can't be told but the present is right here and now and happening and that's what you have to focus on.

At this very moment, you're pregnant, enjoy it, yes even if you have to force it. Who knows this may never happen again for you and do you really want to look back and think "I wish I had enjoyed, rejoiced, drank in every single moment of that pregnancy"?

I hope motherhood is all you hope it to be and enjoy it for all of us who can't be as lucky as you have been.

Edited by thegalwho, 12 November 2010 - 04:33 AM.

#72 j-babe

Posted 12 November 2010 - 07:33 AM

Congratulations Prue!  Such lovely news

Your blog and many of the posts in response made tears well up.  I also struggled for some time with infertility and even though I'm now 6 months pregnant I still feel that saddness when I think of the journey to get to where I am or hear of others with similar experiences.

It's hard to let go and enjoy a pregnancy that has come from such a struggle.  

Wait till you buy the first baby thing - I bought a pram and was certain I would jinx myself in doing so.  Like the universe would know I thought this was real and punish me for being optimistic.

Whilst I don't think I'll fully relax till I meet my bubba at least now I'm enjoying the pregnancy - feeling movements has allowed me to finally feel this is real.

My fingers and toes are all crossed for you - wishing you a very smooth pregnancy.

#73 mumto4monkeys

Posted 15 November 2010 - 10:13 PM


and all the best on preparing to become parents.

#74 April girl

Posted 15 November 2010 - 10:43 PM

Oh wow - Prue I am so pleased for you. Congratulations!!

#75 artnsoul76

Posted 16 November 2010 - 02:32 PM

Massive congratulations to you!! I fell pregnant quickly both times and it even took me a while to 'accept' it. I knew the baby was growing and i felt happy about that, but it all felt so surreal! I even look at my kids now and cant quite believe it! Being pregnant isnt necessarily easy for everyone, I had completely crappy pregnancies and wasnt bouncing off the walls with joy, but the time came after they were born that the feeling of intense love welled up and took me by surprise! It is all worth it and you absolutely deserve happiness and success. I wish you well and congratulations!

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