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IVF Multiple Cycles and The Longhaul Buddy Group #6

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#26 ~Panda~

Posted 06 March 2011 - 02:30 PM

Oh Spock. I am so so sorry. I am so upset for you. This is completely unfair. I hate that this is happening to you again. Please PM me if you need to. I am thinking of you and your DH.

Edited by ~Panda~, 06 March 2011 - 02:35 PM.

#27 Tussycat

Posted 06 March 2011 - 02:32 PM

Also posted elsewhere spock.
Arrrgrgh. How can this happen ??????
I just can't think of anything to say spock, except sorry, many times over.  Just so sad for you & your DH.

#28 Guest_senecio_*

Posted 06 March 2011 - 02:43 PM

Spock, I'm so terribly sorry. sad.gif I am crying for you this afternoon. 'Unfair' doesn't even begin to describe it.

#29 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 06 March 2011 - 02:54 PM

Oh no Spocky I'm so sorry.  It's too much.  Thinking of you and your DH.

#30 carita

Posted 06 March 2011 - 04:32 PM

Spock- Big hugs to you. I'm so very sorry to hear...Wish there was something I could do for you and DH.

#31 Brookar

Posted 06 March 2011 - 04:43 PM

So, so sorry Spock. Life can be so cruel and unfair sometimes.

#32 HRH Countrymel

Posted 06 March 2011 - 04:44 PM

Oh Spock...
You poor darling.
I know it doesn't help, but there are people all over the country who's hearts are breaking for you..

X Mel

#33 Tussycat

Posted 07 March 2011 - 11:03 AM


#34 Brookar

Posted 08 March 2011 - 08:23 AM

Rosabella - how did your blood test go yesterday? I know what you mean about going through the motions. I just hope if we do the same old thing enough times, our numbers got to come up!

CC - How are you?  I saw in one of your other posts that AF had arrived. Bugger... What is your next step?

Librablonde - Have you had your acupuncture appointment yet? I've got my first appointment on Thursday afternoon. I'm really looking forward to it. Feels good to be trying something new. Thanks for the info on the COeq10. I've started on 150mg a day and also taking fish oil along with my multi. Fingers crossed it makes a difference!

Carita - Not long until your FET.  Don't they always seem to fall at an inconvenient time!? Friday is a good day though. Hopefully you can relax over the weekend.

Spock - hope you're holding up ok.

Hi to everyone else....

Afm - AF showed up yesterday so it was good to get back on track again.  FS wants to try a natural FET cycle this time around which I'm a little sceptical about since my last one was cancelled as I wasn't going to ovulate.  I hope my body does it's thing this month and we can go ahead as planned. Apparently last year, my clinic had a higher success rate with natural cycles vs HRT cycles. I was concerned about my lining though and they assured me I could have a scan prior to the transfer to ensure the lining was nice and thick.

#35 librablonde

Posted 08 March 2011 - 05:26 PM

Hi ladies,

Brookar- snap! My first acupuncture appointment is on Thursday arvo as well! I'm really looking forward to it. I know the first thing he'll say is "You must lose weight, blah, blah..." and I'll want to scream "I know that!! And I'm losing it right now!! Just tell me what  else can I do to make this next cycle work!!!" . rolleyes.gif

Cheshire Cat- I read your other post re the embryo storage letter. That's really a kicker. I felt that way when I got charged for my canceled cycle (canx 2 days before EPU was scheduled due to a poor follie response to the med's). So 2 days later when I should have been having my EPU I got the bill for the canceled cycle and I was not happy, Jan! And the thing that peeved me the most was when my FS did an u/s and saw how few follies I had he said with a puzzled frown "Huh. I thought you'd do better than that". Like it's my fault I was not given the right dose! And then I was charged for it anyway. Jeezz.

Spock- I hope you're holding up ok.

Country Mel, Senecio, MM, Rosabella, Carita, Panda, Flamingo, and everyone else- a great big HI to you all.

AFM: I'm doing IVF with an anon donor and had my donor picked out last year, had his profile in my bulging IVF folder and really liked the sound of him. I especially liked the values he listed and his personal statements. It sounds bizarre but I actually felt "bonded" with him. Anyway, I called my clinic a few months ago when it looked like I was going to run out of frozen embryo's with this anon donor and asked if I had to chose another donor when these embies ran out. I was told that I would keep getting this donor's sperm as he'd been allocated to me.

So fast forward to yesterday and I got a random letter from the clinic with a new donor profile and a tiny handwritten note saying that my donor's sperm was no longer available (it had been allocated elsewhere) and there was currently only 1 donor available in the whole of Tassie (where I live) right now (all the other donor's have their sperm currently in quarantine, etc). So they forwarded me a new profile and asked if I would accept this new donor so I could go ahead with my EPU in April. WTF!!

I actually felt a level of intense grief about this as I had a whole idea in my mind about my original donor and felt so happy that my future child may inherit some of his personality. He sounded like someone I'd actually choose to be friends with. And instead of I got sent this new donor who seemed just ok-ish. If I didn't accept this new donor I'd have to just sit in limbo and wait for the all new donor sperm to be released, which may take many months. So I've agreed to the new donor but I was really surprised about my reaction to losing the old one. I rang the clinic and told them my decision and also explained how I felt about this change, and they seemed surprised, like it had never occurred to them that someone might actually care about this kind of change. ddoh.gif

#36 cheshire_cat

Posted 08 March 2011 - 05:51 PM

oh no libra, that is really disappointing about your donor's sperm no longer being available sad.gif . I can understand your sense of loss.

Brookar- hope your FS chooses the right cycle for you. I guess there is the theory that natural cycles are less invasive... Not sure, I have never done one but I really hope it works well for you original.gif

carita- hope you're doing  ok in your 2ww.

mel- hope things are good with you.

Spocky, still thinking of you and sending hugs hhugs.gif

Hi to everyone else still reading xx

#37 Spock

Posted 09 March 2011 - 11:27 AM

hi everyone, sorry i've been mia, i'm trying to come to terms with my loss. thanks so much for all your caring words. i'm finding it very difficult to talk about with non-ivfers. i can't yet say the words out loud, too painful. seeing my fs tomorrow and i'm booked in for yet another d&c on monday. i hate that i am now 1 step behind, again. by the time my body heals and is ready to try again, it will probably be Easter. i don't think my mind will ever heal. the only thing keeping me going is the knowledge that i want a baby so badly that once we get there, this will lessen all the pain we are suffering now.

in the mean time we have decided to get ourselves a puppy. we have so much love to give and our house seems so empty with just the 2 of us. we have been putting this off because we want to start massive renovations this year and we know it will be very difficult to find a place to rent when we have a dog. i think a puppy will help us feel more like a family. going to visit a breeder on sunday who has a puppy we are interested in. i think this will help me.

still very sad. i just keep asking why. i would so much rather a bfn than what i keep going through.

i'm at work to get my mind of things so i'll post more personals tomorrow when i'm home.

thanks again you lovely ladies.

#38 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 09 March 2011 - 12:03 PM

Hi everyone

Just poking my nose in to say Spocky I am still so sad for you but I am very happy that you are getting a puppy.  Pets are so loving and warm.  Hope you get lots of lovely puppy kisses this weekend, and feel a tiny bit stronger.

Love to everyone M

Edited by meggs1, 09 March 2011 - 12:03 PM.

#39 carita

Posted 09 March 2011 - 05:47 PM

libra-I can totally understand how you'd be feeling a bit out of sorts to have to use a different donor now. It's hard to believe that donors are so few and far between here!! I was surprised to hear your clinic didn't seem to think it was a big deal!

Spock-Thinking of you....the puppy sounds like a lovely idea. DH and I did that last year as well and we love our doggie. What type are you thinking about?

Brookar-Hope the accupuncture goes well. I did it for a few cycles and loved it. I should have probably done it for this FET probably...oh well, next time!

CC-I must have missed your post about the embryo storage. Hope everything works out for that.

Hi to Country Mel, Senecio, meggs, MM, Rosabella, Panda, Flamingo...hmmm...who am I missing?? Hi to you too!

AFM, I'm booked in for the FET this Friday, so not quite in the 2WW yet. Actually it's been a bit strange this time around. I only went in for one BT and US. I haven't seen my FS at all, he just sent the plan to the clinic after my last cycle. The clinic still hasn't given me a time! The nurse mentioned something about finding it hard to catch up with my FS...ummm...ok?!?! Anyway, I've taken the day off work. Fingers crossed I don't get that dreaded early call to say the emby didn't thaw. I'm on two pessaries this week and will increase to three pessaries after the transfer. I'm assuming I'll be on heparin injections twice a day as well since I've been doing those for the last few cycles.

Edited by carita, 09 March 2011 - 05:54 PM.

#40 Tussycat

Posted 10 March 2011 - 07:54 AM


#41 librablonde

Posted 10 March 2011 - 06:09 PM

Hi all,

Panda & Senecio- I read your other posts about progesterone levels and spotting. I hope you're both ok this evening hhugs.gif
Spock- what kind of puppy are you getting? That sounds like a great idea and having a dog is a wonderful source of love and fun. My big shaggy pound puppy(now aged 3) has been just what I needed when I've been feeling stressed or depressed during this IVF journey. He sleeps with me and lays his big head on my shoulder, and gazes at me with his big brown seal-pup eyes and somehow heals me a little bit with his love. Can you tell I'm a "dog person"? LOL! original.gif
Carita- good luck with your FET tomorrow. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you.
Brookar- how was your accupuncture today? I also had my first session today and LOVED it. I'm amazed that I liked it so much considering I have such a phobia of needles. But I was so relaxed and I can't wait for my next appointment.
Country Mel, MM, CC, Rosabella, Flamingo, and anyone else I've missed, a big hello to you all.

#42 Brookar

Posted 11 March 2011 - 07:45 AM

Spock -such a wonderful idea to get a puppy. Our "boy" is also a beautiful pound puppy.  He is rather over enthusiastic about life so it's hard to stay sad for long when he's around.

Librablonde - so glad you loved your acupuncture too.  I found it so relaxing. Afterwards I felt like I could just go to sleep and it was an effort to get off the table!  My therapist said I had "cold kidneys"? He put a heat lamp on my stomach area while I had the needles in. He also said my energy was low and when I said I was starting to do some jogging trying to get my energy levels up he didn't recommend it, that it might sap more energy from me and to stick to walking. It all actually felt like a blur, he also talked about my blood, but I just felt so out of it after the treatment I didn't ask enough questions. I'm going back next week so will ask for more explanation then. He insisted that I start eating porridge for breakfast to nourish my body.  Mmm..had my first try at it this morning, it's going to take a bit of getting used to original.gif

Carita - thinking of you for your FET x

How is everyone else going?  Happy Friday original.gif

#43 carita

Posted 11 March 2011 - 02:58 PM

Hi all, hope you're well. Just a quick one here...our last frostie didn't make it to transfer today so we're back to square one. Because I was booked in for such an early FET, I didn't get a call first. They had to tell us when we got there. My FS came in to tell me with the embryologist, which was nice. He's going to draw up a plan for another stim cycle and it will be waiting when/if we're ready to do it. I think we were both kinda expecting it but it still hurts.

#44 cheshire_cat

Posted 11 March 2011 - 05:52 PM

oh no carita, what bad news sad.gif I'm sorry your embie didn't make it.

#45 librablonde

Posted 11 March 2011 - 05:57 PM

Carita- oh no, that's awful sad.gif I know that we all prepare ourselves for something like that to happen, but it's still a blow when is actually does. I'm sending hugs to you and your DP. hhugs.gif xoxo

Edited by librablonde, 11 March 2011 - 05:58 PM.

#46 HRH Countrymel

Posted 11 March 2011 - 07:14 PM

Oh Carita... what a cruel blow. I'm so sorry.

#47 Brookar

Posted 11 March 2011 - 07:48 PM

So sorry Carita bbighug.gif

#48 First One

Posted 12 March 2011 - 02:17 PM

Hi gorgeous girls!  Just a quick word to say I'm still around and keeping an eye on you all even though I'm a little quiet.  I have some trouble with the computer screen making me feel yucky so tend to read and not post.

Massive hugs to Carita - so sorry, that's just not fair.

Spocky, hun, still thinking of you and agree with others that a pup is a wonderful idea!  What breed are you thinking of?  Love my pups and don't think I'd do well without them - they can always make me smile and just know when cuddles are vital!

Senecio and Panda, posted in your other thread re the spotting - I hope it all settles for you both soon.

To everyone else, massive good luck vibes to you all and I'll keep watching original.gif

#49 Spock

Posted 12 March 2011 - 06:41 PM

hi ladies,

first one, thanks for thinking of me. you sound well so hope all is going good.

carita, i'm sorry, so upsetting. sad.gif . hope you and your dp are holding up as best can be expected.

brookar and librablonde, i like my acupuncture sessions too! I have a lovely lady and she has been so hlepful and supportive. It took some time to get used to the needles but now i don't feel them at all. I also get all dopey and relaxed. It's great! I think it has really improved my blood flow. My fs is all for it too.

moi mwah, thanks for checking in one me. hoping you're well.

panda, senecio, thanks for your words too. means alot to me. i haven't read any other BGs as trying to stay away from the conceived ones but i hope you're both going okay.

chesire cat, countrymel, rose, thanks for all your lovely words too. I'm so glad i have you warm people around.

Hope i haven't missed anyone. apologies if i have. i think i have missed a bit of action in this BG as i've been retreating into my protective shell, gearing up for the d&c on monday. so i do apologise for not knowing where all of you are at. I have found the world a little tough to handle lately and become a recluse with my dh. i've just been googling about the puppy we will be seeing tomorrow. that's great so many of you have loving pets. Many of you asked about the breed, we are looking into  Havanese (native to Cuba). The photos we have look so cute and what we have read sounds perfect for us. If all goes well tomorrow I'll post a photo.

we saw the fs which was difficult as he wanted to do a scan himself to look. I couldn't look. we will make some changes to our next cycle, probably try some new PGD testing technology that sounds useful when you have recurrent m/c issues BUT so expensive, as all brand new stuff. Bit much to get my head aound at the moment so in a few weeks, when we've had some time, we'll find out more.

i know i'm quite a strong person but i feel so battered by the continuous emotional drain of ivf and my lossed angels. I still have pregnancy symptoms which is truly awful when there is nothing there to be happy about.

anyway, i know I'm just wallowing in self pity. I have a good friend whose leukaemia has suddenly come back after 6 years, makes you look at things in perspective when that happens. Also the recent tsunami that hit Japan. Lots of bad things happening to innocent people (and animals). What a world to live in.

#50 librablonde

Posted 13 March 2011 - 07:58 AM

Hey Spock- I'd never heard of that dog breed so just Googled it. So cute!!! And sounds like they have a great temperament. Totally adorable original.gif

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