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Surviving Suicide: Nut's story
83 replies to this topic
Posted 26 April 2011 - 12:14 PM
Thank you for your story, it is a very difficult thing to talk and write about.
I lost my father to suicide, and my younger sister has had multiple attempts. I also suffer from depression but haven't reached that point thankfully.
It is important to remember to reach out to people who you suspect may be depressed, but I also think it is important for the friends and family to be able to talk openly. There are so many feelings of sadness and anger that occur after an event such as this.
Unfortunately my younger sister who I mentioned has attempted suicide (a few years ago now) has not only lost her father to suicide before she was even a teenager, she has also lost multiple friends this way.
Posted 26 April 2011 - 12:22 PM
Beautifully written and the love for your brother and your family shines through your words.
Nut and Ev, I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted 26 April 2011 - 01:42 PM
I am so sorry for your loss.
The warning signs are so hard to see until after the event and I really feel for you.
Suicide really destroys so many lives of those left behind. Thankyou for having the courage to write your story.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 03:48 PM
Thank you for your story Nut, I am sorry for your loss, your mother *Ev's loss and your family's loss.
I have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Anxiety for over 10 years now with a history of self-harm since I was 15 years old (I have been safe for 10 years this year).
So I can completely understand where Lothar was coming from. I must admit though that his manager needs to be hauled over the coals or even fired for such unacceptable behaviour.
You have, however, given me even more meaning to keep on going in that your story was so well written with regards to how it affects those left behind. Although my DH, DD and DS are the reason I have continued to stay safe for as long as I have now.
It continues to be a struggle, especially when for me I no longer have any family as my biological father disowned me Christmas Eve 2011 after my biological mother back in 2002. Many of that which my biological father has said in recent communications has included that he is tired of me blaming my or not taking responsibility because of my Mental Illness (which is completely not true) with me having been to a new doctor recently who diagnosed me with something called Pyrroles Disorder (which will result in me no longer suffering from depression or anxiety to the extent that I have by taking a range of vitamins for the rest of my life). Although what has recently happened has devastated me, I have chosen not to dwell on it because I was tired of that which he has said along with blaming me for all the issues surrounding my DH 1st born daughter (who no longer resides with us) and DH's own family. It is sometimes best to remove the negatives things from one's life or the depression will continue.
My home is now filled with photos of my children, however, your story has made me realise that we need more photos of DH and myself in the house plus all of us together. As for extended family that will be given to my DD and DS in the form of a scrapbook (when I am able to put it together) when they are old enough to understand.
With only my DH, Psychologist and Respite Worker we do not have enough support but we manage most of the time.
Again my heart goes out to you and your family. May Lothgar have found peace where he is and thank you for such a story.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:22 PM
Thank you for sharing Nut. Suicide is an issue very close to my heart, having lost a lifelong friend and having suffered with periods of suicidal depression since puberty.
I appreciate it every time someone touched by suicide, shares their intimate story. Each time someone does it, there is a little less taboo and a little more compassionate understanding out there in the world.
Drowning in his own mind is an incredibly apt description. Its a literal thing, to have lost your 'self' somewhere, and be inundated by a powerful overbearing compelling call to end ones life. The percentage of choice in the matter borders on nil. And what miniscule control over choice you have left, is being battered 24 hours a day by that overbearing demanding call to death. Its little wonder that so many of us who live with the burden of suicidal thoughts, eventually succumb. It is an invisible but seriously deadly illness indeed.
For those who suffer with suicidal thoughts - please go to a doctor and find the courage to say it. Its a deadly condition. But it is highly treatable. It may feel almost impossible and pointless to seek help. But over ride those feelings. Do it for your loved ones who will be left behind. Even if your brain is telling you they wont care... They will care. Not only will they care. They will be changed forever. The whole trajectory of their life will alter. Their world view will alter. The burden of living with a loss to suicide, is inexplicable.
Posted 20 October 2012 - 05:31 PM
Thank you for sharing your story Nut, I too lost my brother to suicide. It is absolutely heartbreaking and soul crushing.
Thank you for sharing, it makes me know that im not alone.
Posted 20 October 2012 - 05:45 PM
Nicole, thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for reminding us to live our lives with our eyes wide open and being conscious of the people we love.
Thoughts of strength being sent your way for you and your family.
Posted 22 October 2012 - 09:52 PM
Thank you for sharing your story Nut, I too lost my brother to suicide earlier this year. I miss him greatly every day. Our family, like yours, are very close and watching my mum grieve for her little boy has been one of the hardest things I've ever witnessed. it's completely devastating for the family left behind
Take care of yourself x
Posted 30 December 2015 - 06:54 PM
What a heart wrenching story. Thank you for reminding us not to take anyone we love for granted. My thoughts are with all Lothar's family and friends.
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