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Anyone else hate breastfeeding?
Update - no longer hating it!

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90 replies to this topic

#76 MagickMerlin

Posted 20 May 2011 - 01:51 PM

I found BF emotionally draining.  I mostly hated it but did it relatively easily without any physical issues, for 6months per child.  But, I must say I was counting down that six  months, the pressure I felt for being solely responsible for their food source freaked me out.  
In saying all that I'm happy I did it, just make sure you do what makes you and your baby happy.  I agree with annalou78, that formula feeding isn't the end of the world - especially if it gives you your health and sanity back.

#77 Wut??

Posted 20 May 2011 - 01:59 PM

Yes, I hated it for the first 3 months. Hated it.  I was literally going from feed to feed as my goal.  I planned to give up 3 months.  But by then it was much more do-able.  Still not great though.  Then I planned to give up at 6 months.  But by then it was so easy, and I was starting to like it.  Really like it.  Love it, in fact.  I kept going for 2 years.

Breastfeeding a newborn when you're all fumbly and don't know what you are doing is vastly different from feeding a baby when you, and it, knows what's what.  Vastly different.  If you don't want to give up today, then just set your next goal as getting through tomorrow.  And so on.

#78 CallMeFeral

Posted 20 May 2011 - 02:04 PM

My personal view is that when it's their sole source of sustenance (i.e. till they start solids at 4-6 months) is when it's most important - after that yes it has good stuff in it but they can supplement with their diet, plus in terms of their digestion it is way more mature by then (eg. formula used to give DD horrible constipation till she started solids)

Hang on for another couple of weeks though - I remember 6 weeks being the magic number for a lot of my friends as to when it got easier...

#79 MuddyPuddles

Posted 09 June 2011 - 12:17 AM

I want to thank everyone so much for all the thoughtful and supportive replies to my original post. I didnt feel emotionally up to posting again until now, but I want to let you know that I've read and re-read each comment since and they gave me the strength to keep going a bit longer.

The good news is after reading the link Alik posted on thrush I realised that those were exactly my symptoms and I had all the precursers (emergency c-section, antiobiotics, cracked nipples). After several days on daktarin the  stabbing/stinging pain in my breast was gone. I'm only dispapointed and confused that neither my GP, LC or ABA councellours suggested it!

I still have nipple pain but its no where near what it was (maybe 4/10 instead of 9/10 on pain threshold).

To answer some PP's questions:

- I limit garlic/onion because it gives my bub bad wind. I was limiting caffine on advice from a friend but have since started drinking coffee/pespi max again to no ill effects original.gif

- I was advised by the ABA and other professionals that routine feeding was innappropriate for breastfed babies and (I felt like being told) that they would starve if I tried.
In the last few weeks I have been stretching out her feeds (and sometimes feeding early) to get her close to a 4 hour schedule. You have no idea how much this has helped me! I feel so much more in control knowing there is an approximate 1 hour window she will feed, instead of any cry = stick in the boob. It has also allowed me to have a glass of wine when I want to (sanity saver!)

- I tried nipple sheilds while in hospital and unfortunately they didnt help at all.

- Feeding in public is still hard but I have sussed out all the good parent rooms at the shops now! And I think most of my friends/family have seen my boobs now so oh well.

- I've built up a good stash of frozen breast milk now. I'm a bit stingy at using it (dont want to waste my liquid gold!) but knowing that I have a large amount in there and ready if I need a break takes a bit of pressure off my mind.

I still really dislike breastfeeding and still dream about not having to do it anymore, but it is a lot more managable than it was. It has gone from taking it one feed at a time to taking it a few days at a time.

It is especially hard when I keep getting blocked ducts and recurring mastitis (and all the associated pain/hassle with that), those are the days I get so close to giving up. Honestly the only reason I dont is that you need to feed through blocked ducts and mastitis and by the time I've recovered its not so bad again.

I've managed to make it to 8 weeks and I'm proud of myself for that. My next goal is to make it to 10 weeks and I'll re-assess from there.

Thanks again everyone.

Edited by jesscar1, 09 June 2011 - 12:17 AM.

#80 JupitersMoon

Posted 09 June 2011 - 07:19 AM

Thanks for coming back to update OP. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better about it all, sounds like you have a good approach going there with taking it a couple of weeks at a time original.gif

#81 Nasty Bunsen

Posted 09 June 2011 - 08:28 AM

So glad to hear things have improved for you, isn't it great that so many women come here and share their knowledge - EB got me through a rough patch too and I'm still going at 10 months!

You're doing an amazing job to battle through so much mastitis etc, I don't think I would be able to.

Good luck for the future, however long you keep going for now, you have given baby a great start!

#82 outdoorgirl81

Posted 09 June 2011 - 08:39 AM

Hurray OP! Good for you! Best of luck with it all. Thank you for coming back to give us an update.

#83 Guest_Bigmess_*

Posted 09 June 2011 - 08:47 AM

YES I HATED IT! Thank you! For all the reasons you mentioned and more. The guilttrips, the molestations from midwives. I honestly would rather have a papsmear 10 times than have a stranger touch my nipple.

I have been thinking "How can I improve my experience next time I have a baby" and the number one thing that will help me mentally, physically, emotionally will be to take the pill and stop the milk (I never had enouigh milk anyway, even on 10 motillum a day)

If nothing else, it will enable others to help me feed baby and will STOP the flow of wellmeaning staff to my room so I can have some peace.

I hated every aspect of it, so much that I could go on for another 20,000 words...!

#84 goldimouse

Posted 09 June 2011 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (jesscar1 @ 09/06/2011, 12:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I still really dislike breastfeeding and still dream about not having to do it anymore, but it is a lot more managable than it was. It has gone from taking it one feed at a time to taking it a few days at a time.

It is especially hard when I keep getting blocked ducts and recurring mastitis (and all the associated pain/hassle with that), those are the days I get so close to giving up. Honestly the only reason I dont is that you need to feed through blocked ducts and mastitis and by the time I've recovered its not so bad again.

I've managed to make it to 8 weeks and I'm proud of myself for that. My next goal is to make it to 10 weeks and I'll re-assess from there.

Congratulations on making it to 8 weeks! I'm so glad to read this update.

I did the same as you - I hated breastfeeding at first (too painful!) and would set myself teeny tiny goals to reach, and before I knew it, our problems were manageable and my baby was 12 months and still feeding wub.gif She weaned at 19 months and I now miss feeding her.

#85 Gurt

Posted 09 June 2011 - 10:18 AM

I really hated it int he early weeks as well and ended up in tears everytime I had to feed my baby, it was soo painful. I saw a LC and she helped me a lot but it wasn't until she was about the 8-9 week mark that finally the pain started to ease. Three months into feeding it was a breeze, and by the time she hit 12 months old (my goal) I didn't want to give up so continued on because I absolutely adored our little bonding moments while feeding and I can honestly say that after we jumped the hurdle, it was the most lovely, motherly experience ever.

My minimum always was to attempt feeding and to at very bare minimum give my babies the early colostrum to help coat their wee little bellies and give them that immune boost. I knew no matter what I would feed for at least a week. Then I lengthened my goal until first round of immunisations. Then extended it to 6 months, then 12 months. I just set little goals for myself and then went with the flow after 12 months and allowed self-weaning. I am so pleased to hear this is how you are tackling this situation and I give you a huge congratulations on making it 8 weeks. That is truly an achievement and you should be so proud for sticking with it because I could totally understand if you had given up but you powered on through. Good for you and all the best with it x.

#86 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 09 June 2011 - 10:37 AM

Well done you! Between your OP and now i've gone from tolerating it to enjoying it, maybe that will happen for you too (we're now at 9 weeks).

All the best for the next few months original.gif

#87 lucky 2

Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:05 AM

Thanks for the update.
Have you had any Fluconazole (antifungal) internal treatment (ie capsules) rather than just putting it on your nipples?
Sometimes you need an internal treatment to help rid the thrush from your system, but you will need it on prescription via GP. I wonder if this is part of the issue with ongoing blocked ducts and mastitis?
I hope things get better and better for both of you.

#88 Chelara

Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:20 AM

It sounds so similar to my experience OP. Emergency caesar, cracked nipples, pain, pain, pain, masitis and more mastitis. I have no idea if I had thrush. I realised at 15 months I had thrush as I had had a gum infection, went on anti Bs and later experienced pain. Realised that was thrush so perhaps I had had it in the early days too. No one mentioned it to me either.

Those early weeks were full of tears everytime DD cried for a feed (every 2 hours usually). I was bleeding, in pain and so, so tired. I feel like I am a much stronger person now.

I went on to breastfeed, mostly with enjoyment until 21 months. After that DD started sleeping through so I was very happy with my decision to stop then.

I also had blocked ducts, reoccuring time after time.  

I can't say breastfeeding was ever a breeze but it was worth it. Anytime DD was sick I knew feeding her offered her all of her nourishment, hydration and comfort. I know deep down it was the best thing to do. She was rarely sick, again something I attribute in some part to feeding her for so long.

I was able to do everything I wanted to do whilst feeding including going back to work. She only ever had formula once, in hospital, without my consent.

I would go through it all again for #2.

Well done for making it this far. It will get easier and hopefully you will enjoy it as much as your little one does.

#89 A'idah

Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:21 AM

So glad to have helped! As soon as I read your OP I could relate, I had all the same problems and it turned out to be thrush. It is incredibly painful, especially if it goes for a while and gets into your milk ducts. And I am not surprised that no one told you about it. GPs are not very knowledgable about it, and after I had my c-section last year and got thrush and went to the chemist to get the Daktarin oral gel, the pharmacist actually told me it was impossible to get thrush on your nipples!! I found MCHN the best for this sort of advice, but you have to get the right one!

I really hope everything just gets better and better for you now! REmember, keep up the treatment for a couple of weeks after the symptoms go so it doesn't come back!

#90 ez21

Posted 09 June 2011 - 11:42 AM

Congratulations, you are a champion mother!  I was so happy to read your update. Keep up the good work.  Before long, you will be breast feeding your bub without giving it a second thought.  Breast feeding for me is my relaxing time...just a great time to be still and happy.

A great positive thread!

#91 Neen

Posted 10 June 2011 - 01:00 PM

Well done OP!  Getting to 8 weeks is no easy feat.

So pleased you are treating the thrush, this was the biggest thing for me this time around and it is soooo painful!  You will find it helpful to take something like Inner Health capsules to get the good bacteria in your system.  And I agree with whoever said the fluconazole is really good as it treats the thrush internally (the daktarin can only do so much).

GP's really aren't that familiar with this - I was lucky enough to hear about a GP who used to be a lactation consultant and was brilliant and helping me manage things. The GP I'd seen before her had just told me there was nothing I could do and didn't think it was thrush.

We're at 11 months now and I still need to watch for thrush symptoms as every now and then it flares up and feeding gets painful - but I find if I take the inner health and put daktarin on it keeps it under control.  I did use fluconazole around the three month mark and it made the world of difference.

All the best!

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