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leaving baby overnight in nursery to bottlefeed


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#1 Guest_Bigmess_*

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:17 PM

hi
has anyone had any experience with leaving baby ON in the nursery to bottlefeed so they can get some sleep after birth?

I've seen scenes in some hospitals where the mother wants the midwives to take the baby overnight so she can sleep and they basically say NO.

My milk basically NEVER came in and it was quite a horror movie for me to be woken up at 3am from my 4 hour sleep, to be left with a screaming newborn, to be left for over an hour several times where I couldn;t reach her due to my ceserean.

I am trying to devise a plan to avoid this disaster again; I'm wondering if it is indeed allowed to say to the midwife, look can you guys take her for the night from 10pm to 5am and bottlefeed her if she needs it??

The other option would be for me to hire a nurse/nanny and ask her to do this. I figure that would be a lot cheaper than going to a private hospital

#2 ~Sorceress~

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:21 PM

That sounds horrible!!!

But most women don't have their milk come in until Day 3 or later (took a week for mine last time sad.gif ) so the lack of milk shouldn't be a problem for the first couple of nights, but your not being able to reach her or be supported in breastfeeding your first baby is really sad!!!! sad.gif

Can you have a relative stay with you to help with positioning the baby on the breast for the first couple of nights? Or ask the hospital about lactation consultants?

With somebody else positioning the baby, you might even be able to sleep through the first couple of breastfeeds wink.gif laughing2.gif .

#3 ducks-on-the-dam

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:27 PM

Your milk won't "come in" for a couple of days. It's the important colustrum the baby needs at this stage.

I'm sure if you've had a very difficult labour as I did with my first they will bottle feed overnight for you. I don't think they'll allow it in ordinary circumstances though.

It's a rude shock to the system, and I hated that first wake-up. It was so surreal. But you'll get over it. They are trying to do what is best for your baby.

#4 FeralGiggelosaurus

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:28 PM

When I had DD, Via cesearan. she staying in the nursery overnight. BUT, they did bring her in for BF....they stayed the whole time and helped me try to position er correctly.

maybe ask if you can have the help when they bring Bubs in.....

#5 CountryBumpkin

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:31 PM

The hospital i've had my baby at will not take your baby, they encourage 24 hour rooming in. Milk can take days to come in. Not sure if they will allow a nanny/nurse to stay with you either.

#6 peppersmum

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:32 PM

I do feel for you as we've all been there, it's so tiring in those first few months and beyond.  With my DD2 my milk didn't come in until day 5 actually and she only slept well for the first 12 hours or so after birth and then she was CONTINUALLY on my breast for the next few days until she pulled my milk on, I was easily feeding every 1-2 hours at times.  This time my milk came in on day 3 and DD3 didn't feed as crazily, but they are all different.

If you do choose to bottle feed it is still important to have that bonding time with your baby.  I understand that we all need to recover from birth, whether it's a c-section or a vaginal birth, but it's not really the midwives job to look after your baby and feed it.  Again, I completely understand the shock and the sleep deprivation, I am still in it and have nights where I don't even hear DD3 and DH will bring her to me (if she's had a sleep in her cot) and I get that 'annoyed' "Grrr not again" feeling  blush.gif  This motherhood gig is not easy at times which is why we need all the support we can get!



#7 rokate

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:32 PM

You try and eat lactation cookies and drink nursing tea to help your Milk come in!

#8 DandyLyon

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:35 PM

Hopefully your milk will come in this time and you won't have to worry about it. But if you need help because your baby is not attaching or you can't pick your baby up, then call the nurse. That is what they are there for. Ask to see a lactation consultant regardless of whether you think you are having trouble or not. Their reassurance and advice is invaluable.

At the hospital I have had both my children in, it is hospital policy that the baby rooms in with the mother at all times. Having said that, the nurses will take the baby for a few hours to settle them or let you get some sleep if you are feeling quite terrrible.

#9 Emm27

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:36 PM

We've just come home from the hospital after having DD - and we were encouraged to put her in the nursey overnight and for the daily 1-3pm rest period. They are happy to feed babies EBM, formula or bring them to you for a feed depending on what you request. I boarded at the hospital with DP and we used the nursery a few times - especially the last night so we were well rested before coming home. This is a private hospital - I had no idea it was different at public hospitals.

Can your partner stay too? Or even stay at a hotel near by and come as soon as you call?  Can you take forma with you as a back up.  My DP's milk never came in for DS, even with motillium and pumping etc (shehad breast cancer in her 20's so we weren't that surprised). This time we packed lactose free formula as DS reacted to the hospital formula, and we were totally shocked when she was able to feed DD. We still needed formula but DP pumped 40mls this morning - unheard of with DS.

Either way - there is no way you should be in that situation where you can't reach your screaming newborn.

#10 Nobody Cool

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:38 PM

I think even if you don't breastfeed as such the midwives will encourage you to express colostrum, which is really important for the baby in the first few days. At my hospital they did take care of babies in the nursery in between if the mother really needed a break but it was not encouraged and we were still expected to be with the baby for their feeds every three or so hours. It might vary by hospital though?

Regular breastfeeding or expressing will also help your milk to come in, which as PPs says does not come in for a few days and is the reason why the colustrum is so important as it is very nutrient-dense.

Edited by Shady Lane, 05 July 2011 - 05:40 PM.


#11 ~Sorceress~

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:40 PM

QUOTE
and we were encouraged to put her in the nursey overnight and for the daily 1-3pm rest period


Oh dear! Not a Baby Friendly Hospital, I'm guessing! sad.gif



#12 ~river song~

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:43 PM

After DS I hadn't slept in 48hrs. I begged the nurses to take DS and bottle feed him as I was delirious from exhaustion but they refused. I cried so much it was awful especially as I knew DH was at home snoozing nice and quietly and comfy, I had a shocking first few days. I just needed some sleep!

Due to this for next baby I'm going home asap as I'll have mum and DS there to help with feeds so I can sleep and feel slightly human again.

#13 ekbaby

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:44 PM

One of the issues is that the stimulation your breasts recieve from frequently feeding your baby is part of what helps to make the milk "come in" so leaving them for a 7 hour period and offering supplementary feeds (reducing their desire to suck at the breast) could increase the amount of time until the milk "comes in".

It's very normal for babies to want to feed *a lot* in the first few days and have an overnight "feeding frenzy" around the 2nd-3rd night this is part of bringing in the milk.

If your baby is well and you are well then no in most public hospitals they won't take your baby from you overnight.

But I agree it is shocking that you were not given help to pick up your baby and get her on the breast after your surgery sad.gif I would be trying to find out what kind of support overnight they can provide and your experience last time is what normally happens. Maybe you could look into a postnatal doula to help overnight or see if your partner (or another support person) can stay overnight with you? You shouldn't *have* to do that but if the hospital is very understaffed maybe that is what you will have to do......

#14 Blondiebear

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:44 PM

QUOTE (peppersmum @ 05/07/2011, 05:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you do choose to bottle feed it is still important to have that bonding time with your baby.  I understand that we all need to recover from birth, whether it's a c-section or a vaginal birth, but it's not really the midwives job to look after your baby and feed it.  Again, I completely understand the shock and the sleep deprivation, I am still in it and have nights where I don't even hear DD3 and DH will bring her to me (if she's had a sleep in her cot) and I get that 'annoyed' "Grrr not again" feeling  blush.gif  This motherhood gig is not easy at times which is why we need all the support we can get!

Very well said Peppersmum. Hopefully you will have more supportive/helpful midwives this time, definitely make clear that you need help and press the call button over and over until you get it. I also think Marnie has made some great suggestions, if your partner can be with you I'm sure it would help a lot. As everyone has said your milk will always take a few days to come in, that happens to all of us, and frequent feeding is the way to make it happen. It is tough and tiring but things will get better.

#15 ~river song~

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:45 PM

QUOTE (~Sorceress~ @ 05/07/2011, 05:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh dear! Not a Baby Friendly Hospital, I'm guessing! sad.gif



No, a mum friendly one. You don't all of a sudden have no needs once you give birth. if anything you're at your most vulnerable and rest is important in those first few days. Being so exhausted contributed to a dreadful start to breasfeeding and the start of PND

#16 robhat

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:45 PM

It'll depend on hospital policy I should think, so you might want to check with the hospital you are going to. If possible, it might be best to see if you can talk to a midwife at the hospital before you have the baby and discuss your previous experience and what you can do to make the next time better.

Most hospitals will promote breastfeeding, however they should support you in bottle feeding too if that is your choice. When you say feed bub a bottle, do you mean expressed breastmilk or formula? The hospital would most likely prefer that you breastfeed the bub unless you plan on formula feeding from the start. If you are going to breastfeed it will be far better for you to feed during the night too. Giving bub just one bottle of formula at that stage won't do your supply a lot of good! And it is far easier if you are having supply issues to feed from the breast rather than try to express. I think that even if you wanted to formula feed they would still be likely to want you to feed bub yourself, especially by the 3rd day.

Having said all that, the midwives should be on hand to assist you with whatever you need, especially if you have had a c-section. I was not actually allowed to have bub with me on the first night due to it not being safe for me to get up to bub after the c-section. I wasn't having any trouble getting up to her after that though, but I still called the midwives for nearly every feed because we were having attachment issues. Even when they took bub to the nursery, she was still brought back to me and I was woken to feed her. The private hospital I go to has a policy of the babies 'rooming in' with the mums and generally won't like you leaving bub in the nursery. They will do it for one or two nights, but I think if a mother tried doing it every night they would say no. They would most certainly say no to bottle feeding the baby for you. They would simply bring bub to you for a feed and then take bub back to the nursery. I think though if you were having a bad recovery from a c-section and were unable to really get up to your baby properly that you would be able to take your bub to the nursery and leave him/her there. They may still bring bub to you for feeds, but otherwise it would be better than not being able to reach your screaming baby etc. I think your first experience is quite unusual though unless the maternity ward you were in was unusually busy at the time you were there.

#17 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:46 PM

Generally they like you to room in.

If you ask politely and they have room they will take the baby overnight BUT you will have the baby brought out for you to Breastfeed.

With #3 (emerg c/s), as I already had two at home and get really bad migraines post birth (and due to lack of sleep) I begged the nursery to have DD overnight and bring her to me to feed. My milk does not come in until day 5 but the colostrum is high in nutrients. I fed DD overnight and will buzz them to take when she was finished.

DD needed a bottle due to low BSL and I had to sign lots of forms for her to be given a medically required bottle of formula... I don't see them just 'giving a bottle' for you so you can get some sleep.



#18 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:49 PM

If you plan to BF this time around the constant early BF is needed to aid your milk to come in - it really is much easier for you if you do these feeds.

However if you do not intend to BF then there is no reason you need to be woken up to feed, lots of women can't and/or dont't BF at all and they aren't dumped with the baby for an hour overnight just because it's policy.

Have a chat to the hospital based on your previous experience, plans this time and how to alleviate this problem - the last thing you need is another horror experience to set you on this path to motherhood, far better for the baby to have a well rested happy mum than a terminally tired one on the path to depression.

I hope you can work it out OP.

#19 trdl

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:49 PM

Oh i so feel for you, that must have been so hard to go through at the time.

I was in hospital for 9 days and dd was in ICU on a different floor and i was made to express 4 hourly. The ICU told me not to bring any more milk up as i had so much there already and filling their freezer up quite quickly. So i just slept through the early morning expresses and some rude nurse realised what i was doing came and told me i wasnt allowed to do that. I had to keep expressing 4 hourly whether my baby was there or not. BUt the thing is i couldnt just do it in my room i had to go to the nursury where the expressing machines were. A Horrible experience where i watched other mothers and their babies feeding and all the comments "oh where is your baby"

If that happened where i couldnt reach my baby i would be having my finger firmly pressed on the button every time until someone came to help.

#20 Blondiebear

Posted 05 July 2011 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (jen42 @ 05/07/2011, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However if you do not intend to BF then there is no reason you need to be woken up to feed, lots of women can't and/or dont't BF at all and they aren't dumped with the baby for an hour overnight just because it's policy.

Perhaps I'm wrong but I thought the purpose of a hospital was to support the health of the mother and baby, not babysit? Surely a newborn baby trying to adjust to life outside the womb deserves to be near its mother if at all possible, breastfeeding or not we are not 'dumped' with the baby, if we choose to have a baby we should be prepared to care for it!

#21 Starrydawn

Posted 05 July 2011 - 06:01 PM

They took the baby one night to the nursery on me. I am not sure if it was first or second night. I had a Caesarean. They came in to do my obs. One of the midwives had moved the little crib and it was right under this air vent. So they suddenly go oh she is cold and she may have low blood sugars (due to my GDM) we will take her to the nursery put her near the heater and give her a bit of formula is that okay. It was the middle of the night so I agreed.

The next night I had her all night and was feeding every hour I think. Plus a little top up of formula which she gobbled and expressed milk as well. When the midwife came in the  morning she said how did you go last night. I said up all night. She said oh you should of called us and then she realised I hadn't had my pain meds and said oh you never complain do you.

Each hospital must be different and each midwife I dare say.

#22 Mummy Em

Posted 05 July 2011 - 06:02 PM

Do you know why your milk didn't come in last time? I think the most common reason is retained placenta.

I know at the hospital that I gave birth at the 'nursery' had been converted to the little clinic room where the paeds did their examinations of bub etc so there wasn't a nursery as such on our ward.

#23 peppersmum

Posted 05 July 2011 - 06:08 PM

QUOTE (jen42 @ 05/07/2011, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However if you do not intend to BF then there is no reason you need to be woken up to feed, lots of women can't and/or dont't BF at all and they aren't dumped with the baby for an hour overnight just because it's policy.

Have a chat to the hospital based on your previous experience, plans this time and how to alleviate this problem - the last thing you need is another horror experience to set you on this path to motherhood, far better for the baby to have a well rested happy mum than a terminally tired one on the path to depression.


Why Jen?  The midwives jobs are to be there to assist and support mums but they are pretty busy juggling labouring/birthing women, assisting women who do need help breastfeeding and post op checks etc ... why should they also have to then feed a baby who could easily be fed by it's mother who has already had 4 hrs sleep in a row?  Why should formula feeding exclude you from looking after your baby?  I think the best choice if the OP does want to avoid this first feed overnight is to look into hiring a nanny as she first suggested or see if her DH can stay overnight (that would be the best option as then at least bubs is seeing someone familiar when it wakes overnight).


#24 *~*ME*~*

Posted 05 July 2011 - 06:19 PM

my last baby i asked them to take him for me overnight, I had a caesarean section.

I did bottlefeed from day 1 and they fed DS2 for me during the night, he came back to me at 7am.


#25 Polly Esther

Posted 05 July 2011 - 06:22 PM

To deal with the not being able to reach your baby post-caesarean, pop your baby in your bed with you. Put hte railings up so she/he cannot fall, and sleep beside them. It's not like you can really roll around in those early days anyway. That's what I did - I was sick of buzzing staff to be told to ignore my baby or having to wait ages for htem to come... so I just had her in my bed from then on so I didn't need their help.

Alternatively, if you plan to bottlefeed from the get-go (and your milk could come in this time even if it didn't previously - it'll also take a few days, mine didn't come in until day 5, but they only really need colostrum until that point anyway...), have the bottlefeeding supplies ready and have them on the tray where your meals are served... so you can make it up yourself.

Ask for some hot water to heat the milk... but after the first night, you should be right to g get that stuff yourtself anyway.




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