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September 2010 Parent group #16


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#1 Sandra

Posted 14 July 2011 - 01:23 PM

New thread time ladies

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...howtopic=898411



#2 mibi

Posted 14 July 2011 - 08:55 PM

GOLD - I've never had gold before !
We have good news - it looks like Rileys kidney problem is stareting to settle down - his wee is starting to look yellowish again. And Ella has definitely taken to solids....finally. She still doesn't have a great deal, but she'll eat some baby cereal for breakfast. Some fruit or a baby yoghurt for lunch (not both - she doesn't quite get through a tub of yoghurt) and some vegies for tea. I'll often give her half a piece of toast at some stage during the day also. Only problem (there is always one!) is that she seems to becoming consitipated. Riley was the same when he started on solids - it took 3-4months before his system got used to it and he was pretty good with drinking from a cup, but Ella doesn't really yet.

Hope everyone is good...where are you all????

#3 Summerlover

Posted 15 July 2011 - 08:26 AM


SILVER !!!

I'll come back later once Isla is in bed but all good hear - still in the throws of teething and she is really suffering yesterday and hardly touched her milk but she seems a bit better today.  Isla has learnt to clap and any opportunity she sits and claps - so cute
.
Occbee - thats great news, Ella will get used to the solids I would just hold anything with water to her mouth with a cloth underneath and give her any opportunity to drink water to help her when she is eating the solids but fruit should help too.

We all have colds again and its a cool wintry looking day out there today (for Cairns that is) - we have been having glorious weather but it has started to warm up with cloud cover and the mosquitos are coming out and the flies so I would say we are now into spring up here.

Occbee was that you that was asking about what to do with babies???? I was laughing as I feel the same when Yasmin isn't around or she locks herself in her bedroom to play and won't let Isla in (but after all we have told her that is her sacred place) - any toys out in the common areas are fair game for Isla.

Ok best go here is Isla crying

#4 Sares83

Posted 15 July 2011 - 11:01 AM

BRONZE!!!!

OCCBEE - Yay for Riley getting better and double yay for Ella getting on the solids train!! tthumbs.gif

Helen - bah! to teething and colds! Hope everyone gets better soon. I'm sure Carin's version of cold and wintry are completely different to maldon's! It was -2 at 8am this morning! Brrrrrrrrr!

AFU - Well aside from DH hitting a roo in the work van this morning, things are starting to look up! I seem to be improving (have a few theories to bounce off my specialist!) and Pat is slowly getting better! Yay! Depending on which way you look at it, could be good or bad news, but Pat is still refusing his dummy! He just chews on it then spits it out. Its good cos now we are rid of it but bad because he seems to be sleeping much lighter and waking more but don't know if that is just cos he has been sick. Definitely can't wait for spring!!!

I have been so busy planning DH's 30th and Pat's 1st birthday parties. I can't believe Pat will be 1 in 6 weeks! That has just gone so fast! I'm gunna have to take some time off work for all the baking I have to do! Yay! original.gif I have also been doing the toy sales for xmas laybys! Just target left to do next week! We got a trike for Pat for xmas, one that has a handle for us to push him along and a canopy so can't wait! He is gunna love it!

Well better get some work done
sares
xxx

Edited by sares83, 15 July 2011 - 11:01 AM.


#5 surf cec

Posted 15 July 2011 - 02:58 PM

knock knock, can I come in still!!???  Hi its Cec here, been a while! Helen thanks for reminding me you guys exist!!!!  So Miss Olivia update!  off to the hospital this arvo for a physio appointment again. She still hasn't rolled/ crawled or anything but does seem to be improving and now if I put her on the tiles she slides backwards- its not much but I'll take it!!  I'll let you know what the physio says.  She has 7 teeth, going well with solids but only self feeds finger foods so feel like I give her the same food all the time.  We've had our fair share of colds etc.  Her sleep is all over the place.  Pretty good at night but for the last week has been waking at 10 or 11 and howling and won't sleep unless we are in bed together. Not sure what the go is there or the best plan of attack but I'm so tired I'm just doing what works at the moment!!  Tried her off her refluc medication and backfired so back on it!  Thats about all really!!

I need to go and read and see what you have all been up to!  Hope all has been well and I promise to hand around more!!

#6 mibi

Posted 15 July 2011 - 08:17 PM



Welcome back surfcec - glad that Olivia is improving. I know of quite a few babies that didn't crawl til 11mths or so and they weren't diagnosed as floppy or anything so sounds like she is doing great!

sares - I'm sure Pat will get used to no dummy. My boys are thumb suckers and they soon get used to no thumb if they hurt it (unfortunately also soon find it again when the bandaid comes off)

AFU - Well, we were back to the doctor today and despite his wee visually looking more normal it's still off the scale for blood on the dipstick. And I found out that we are in for the long haul - he's going to need regular checkups for the rest of the year and then every few months and then yearly for ages. (assuming he still continues improving and doesn't have any setbacks!)

I'm also going to have to stew some prunes I think for Miss Ella -  Riley was good when he had to eat them as a bub. Fingers crossed Ella will too. Poor thing just cries and cries when she has to

#7 Summerlover

Posted 16 July 2011 - 04:56 PM


Occbee good luck with Riley - it must be horrible.  Have you tried Ella on some pear juice?? apparently another good thing for constipation - get it in the isle along with apple juice etc

Cec good to hear from you - how could you forget about us?? only joking  laugh.gif you have a lot on your plate.  I spoke to the chemist who specialises in reflux last week and he said don't stress until Isla is fully on solids because its the drinking of milk that is a big factor so I have yet another bottle but she is only on 1ml morning and 1ml at night (5mg per 1ml) so a low dose but I can't take her off so thankfully it will last 2mths its so damn expensive which if she needs it doesn't bother me but if she didn't need it I didn't need the extra cost.  The chemist said it will keep fine for 2mths but they have to stipulate 1mth on their useage date.  Also as Isla is Dairy intolerant they wanted me to keep testing her on Soy when I was ready before any milk proteins - well 4 tsps of berry soy yoghurt and we were back to screaming and farting and the runs 5 hours after the intake of it!! so poor little thing as if the teething wasn't enough but had to test as she will be teething for some time.  Its just stressful as as much as I try and give Yas (her big sister) dairy free products etc Isla wants what she is having and she likes cheese and yoghurts etc - its a shame but thank goodness I don't have another thing you worry about - well done to the movement backwards, any progression is a forward step and I would take that too.

Isla also has an upset tum and terrible runs and not taking much milk or food full stop again - this started to happen the day before I tried her on the soy yoghurt - she didn't have the runs just slowing down on her milk and food so I just thought teeth but now has the runs so I've probably made it worse by giving her the soy poor thing.  Oh well I wasn't to know and it hasn't affected her mood - a bit of panadol seems to have help with any pain in her tum for now but just making sure fluid is going in.

Isla woke at 3.30pm today and the 2 girls have just been playing together so nicely - the tv got turned off and its been a lovely experience watching them out on the deck doing stuff together  wub.gif only moments before Isla woke up had I had Yasmin on the naughty step for talking back to me LOL and she can't do enough to help me since then.  I have also put her back in nappies  Im fed up with it.  2 days of weeing and pooing in the toilet and today wouldn't have a bar of it and stood at the fridge wanting a yoghurt with me watching her and wee'd right there???? WTF - she just wants to be a baby like her sister and Im over it - so back to nappies - she can tell me when she wants to be a big girl and wear knickers - its just so god damned expensive when I know she can use the toilet - she was fully toilet trained before all the plaster buisness too but its more about jealousy with her baby sister and my attention. Grrrrr - those of you that don't have any older siblings - what you have to look forward too.

Well girls don't judge me but I am sitting having a lovely gin and tonic this arvo waiting for DH to come home from work - I needed it after that tantrum with my 3 year old!!!!

Im also on the weight loss trail again.  I was going to do a weight loss plan and spend the money but god damn it - I KNOW HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOODNESS SAKE ! - so Im writing everything down and bought a new pair of scales and DH is going to weigh me and record me every week.  So all im doing is cutting my food down portion size and eating fruit or yoghurt for a snack and enjoying a wine or drink and a bite size choccy a day so Im not missing out and so far so good.  I actually snuck in a weighing and lost 1.4kgs just in 4 days of doing this - hope the week stays like that but I really need to do it once and for all as I am not having any more kids and I am so good at maintaining my weight - I just need to shift the 10kgs or slightly more I have put on since having 2 kids - wish me luck.

take care
Helen


#8 Sunbliss

Posted 16 July 2011 - 11:15 PM

Hi Everyone,

Well another hectic week out of the way (they go so fast I can barely catch my breath I am so busy – it’s like I’m constantly running and the finishing line is always just out of reach no matter how fast I go), another week that our bubs have grown older, another week of winter - brrrrr. This time a year ago I remember loving the cold because I was a furnace at 7 months pregnant – not so much this year – and in fact it’s pretty uncomfortably chilly crawling out of bed in the middle of the night to settle or feed...

I spotted tooth number 5 coming through today – there hasn’t been much grizzling/drooling though so unless I’d actually spotted it while looking at Hazel’s other teeth I wouldn’t have noticed it. I have a question though – Hazel’s 2 bottom teeth have grown through crooked. They came up almost at right angles to how they’re meant to be and have twisted round so that they now sit as a v shape rather than straight like --. Has anyone else notice their bubs have crooked teeth? I assume it’s not too much of concern given that these are milk teeth – and that it is the next ones that will require consideration for braces?  (My husband’s teeth are quite crooked so I assume that she has inherited this from him.)

Also, we have noticed Hazel kind of clacking and grinding her teeth together. I thought this was because she is getting used to the feel of teeth in her mouth – however, I grind my teeth pretty badly in my sleep and have damaged my teeth (worn away the enamel and cracked them) as a result. My grinding is due to stress so I can’t imagine that H is stressed – especially as she does it while she’s awake. Do you think I should I be concerned or will she grow out of it?

Other than that we’re doing well here. Each week with the nanny seems to get better and better. H is delighted to see her each morning (which makes me happy yet wistful for the time when it was just her and I). I’m loving weekends though – spending all day with Hazel seems like such a treat. She is great fun to be around – especially at the moment as she is treating me like a big soft climbing frame!

Occbee – I’m still here – checking in less frequently though always reading everyone’s news eventually. Glad that Riley seems to be getting better – I hope this continues and that you get some answers.

Sares – you sound mega organised. I can’t think beyond the end of next week – let alone Xmas! Glad you’re improving health-wise...

Cec – lovely to hear from you. H started moving by going backwards so sounds positive for Olivia. We’ve had our sleeping issues too – still not sleeping through and still feeding once or twice a night. We’re experimenting around a lot with type, volume and timing of solids during the day.

Summerlover – poor Isla with her upset tummy. Hopefully she has recovered. Thanks for the reminder of what we have to look forward to re toilet training. I was reading an article the other day about how in the olden days when cloth nappies were used that kids had a real incentive for learning to use the toilet because cloth nappies were uncomfortable once wet and that these days they are so comfy and dry all the time that on top of all the other things (jealousy etc) that there is no need for them to want to learn! Good on you re the G&T – I sit here with my glass of red wine. Good luck with the weight loss – I shifted 4kg a couple of months ago and am 9kg over – I’m trying to build enthusiasm to tackle the next 5...I’ll be lurking for inspiration.

OK – H is squawking – time for her first nighttime feed. Have a great weekend everyone.
R


#9 Summerlover

Posted 17 July 2011 - 09:37 AM

Sares been meaning to ask how you and Pat are now??  Yasmin had hand and foot but she just had the blisters in her mouth - it was the most terrible scary time I have ever had with one of my kids she would cry and cry with hunger but wouldn't eat anything or drink much because everything caused her pain in her mouth with the blisters and her temps were just through the roof - its horrible

Sunbliss - both Yas and Isla grind their new teeth.  I thought it was weird too when I went through it with Yasmin as no-one knew what I was talking about LOL but now Isla is doing it too.  Wow hope its not something that runs in our family either because I am a bit worry wart and grind my teeth in my sleep and when I am stressed my whole mouth and teeth ache so thats where I hold most of my stress by clenching my jaw.  Glad things are settling down for you all there but oh god I would hate to be getting up feeding Isla still and Im in a warm climate!!

Just waiting for Isla to wake up and we are heading to a play centre with the kids for a couple of hours just to get out the house - the kids and I have been in pretty much since Friday so need to get out and clear all these cobwebs in our heads - we are all slowly on the mend.

Edited by Summerlover, 17 July 2011 - 09:38 AM.


#10 Allymeg69

Posted 17 July 2011 - 12:49 PM

Hi everyone, I'm still here too, I typed a long reply a couple of days ago then my battery died quicker than I expected and I lost the lot!

Occbee glad that you have some news about Riley but sounds like a pain to have to have him checked for so long. Hope nothing serious develops.

Sares, yes you sound very organised. I haven't given any though to first birthday, my folks are coming back up for a few days so no doubt mum will help me with a cake.

Helen, yes, I don't look forward to toilet training, at least I won't have the complication of a baby around while we do it. I'm hoping Alex might get into the habit of watching his brothers and want to copy them! As for weight loss, I wish I could find the motivation to cut out some of the naughty food & drink, and get moving - I suppose i have some excuses but they've got to come to an end soon!

Cec good to hear from you, and glad that Olivia is making progress, every small achievement is to be celebrated. I can't get Alex to take a spoon and feed himself either (granted I haven't tried that often because of the mess factor) but he is great on finger food.

Sorry for missing other personals, its hard to keep up!

AFU - not a lot new to report. I am still having fluid drained from my armpit every few days, it has to slow down soon the doctor says, but might need another few goes. Otherwise I feel OK, I am more aware now of when my arm is getting tired and give it a rest, and I'll just have to work on building it up slowly.

DH & I are taking the attitude that we are going to make sure we enjoy everything we can in life now - not that we didn't enjoy things before but we are going to make the absolute most of everything. We were fortunate to get some insurance money because of my cancer, so we've paid our debts, put some aside in savings offsetting the mortgage, and are spending a portion of it on some treats we really wanted - my treat was a lovely pearl pendant! So there has been a silver lining!

Alex is my delight and such an entertainer at the moment - he is getting around everywhere crawling, and starting to cruise the furniture. He is beginning to be very responsive, and I love that when I put my hand out and say "ta" he gives me what he has in his hand, a good way of getting him to give me things he shouldn't have. Right now he's trying to stand up at a little table while he is under his high chair, not enough space and he keeps bumping his head, but hasn't worked out how to push it out of the way! He also loves trying to play with my laptop while I'm on it, so I've given him an old non-working on that he can tap on. We have 2 bottom teeth now but no signs of any more just yet. He is getting so heavy, nearly 11kg, he's a workout all by himself!

Enjoy the rest of your weekends everyone
Ally

#11 mibi

Posted 17 July 2011 - 02:59 PM

Sunbliss - all three of my kids bottom teeth have come through that way. The speech pathologist that I take the boys to says its a sign of a tongue tie but both the boys have checked out fine in that regard and I'll see if she can have a quick look at Ella next time I go - I think they all just inherited my Mum's crooked teeth. Jake hasn't lost any baby teeth yet so I don't know how the adult ones will come through. I have just spotted Ella's third tooth today.

We've just come back from a trip to the shops where Jake vomited in the middle of Target......noice - I thought maybe we were getting over the bugs. I had nothing for him to vomit into and the poor kid just had to vomit all over the floor with all the other shoppers watching. And of course there wasn't a staff member anywhere insight to help either. Poor kid. So instead of going to the park this afternoon we are watching DVDs.


#12 Sares83

Posted 18 July 2011 - 11:20 AM

Surf cec - welcome back! Glad to hear Olivia is improving, even if it is only slightly. Pat still doesn;t crawl, well not properly, he drags himself. He can get on his knees but won;t move.

Occbee - yeah my problem is that he doesn;t use his thumb the same as his dummy and now he isn;t sleeping properly. I have been having to feed him to sleep day and night and I know that is just gunna make life more difficult later sad.gif Sucks about Riley, hope he gets better soon! P.S. Nice about the Target vomit! lol! Glad it wasn't Pat! original.gif

Helen - good luck with the weight loss, I should join you but I think I will wait til it warms up a bit so I can go walking after work, too cold atm. Yeah this is Pat's second bout of HFM. He is so much better now, 2 weeks of various sicknesses and antibiotics and panadol - over it!!!! At least he is still an angel even when he is sick wub.gif

Sunbliss - I think when they have their first dental appointment the dentist will be able to see if there is anything going on to be concerned about. I used to grind my teeth (had braces when I was 20 to fix it) but my problem was grinding with my front tetth cos I was grinding them away! PS, I have to be organised or I would get nothing done!! I love work but it is very time consuming!

Ally - yay for cruising Alex! Pat is big heifer 11kg too so I can't wait til he starts walking, I think it is gunna be a long way off though! I am just so excited about his birthday, I can't contain myself!!! original.gif

Very jealous of all these bubbies with teeth! Pat still doesn't have any!!!

#13 surf cec

Posted 19 July 2011 - 09:20 PM

Thanks for the welcome backs!!!!!  Olivia is getting closer each day with the crawling! she now goes sideways onto her hands and knees but then just bellyflops so hopefully at some point she will hold her weight (10.5kg!!) and move!  Now just to get her sleep back to normal . . .

Occbee vomit in target not good! Olivia did a refluc chuck in woolies one day and my reaction was to run!

Ally we play "ta" too and its good fun! We also play "bang" where she hits me on the head with an object over and over again. Not as fun!

Well thats all from me for tonight, just showing my new comitment to you all!



#14 forosoco

Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:09 AM

why does everything have to happen at once?? jesse has conjunctivitis, which means he can't go to daycare today, which means i can't work and won't get paid. but still have to pay for daycare. we are REALLY short on money this month so every day i work helps. DH was away with work the last 2 weeks and spent some of that time out on a boat for a course. while on the boat someone he works with was sent to hospital because she became quite sick. he found out last night that she has swine flu. so he got checked out first thing this morning and the doctor has sent him home and said not to come back to work for a week just in case - his test results won't be back for a couple of days but he's already feeling like crap. so i said since he's gonna be home anyway, maybe i could go to work today or tomorrow. he said nope, he can't be too close to the kids just in case he has swine flu. so great. now not only can i not make any money this week, but now i have DH to look after as well, and no help with the kids! fantastic. and i know this will sound really selfish, but i can't afford to get sick! i really can't take any more days off work, plus i have asthma that flares up really badly at the first sign of sickness. so does DD actually, so she can't afford to be sick either!

#15 Sares83

Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:27 AM

That sucks Foro! We have just been through that "everything at once" bit, lasted 3 weeks and I hated every minute of it! Pat was sick one thing after another and couldn't go to daycare, I was sick and then just last week DH hit a roo in his work van which means it is off the road for 2 weeks so now he is trying to work out of my dads ute! Winter sucks! Everything crap happens in winter! Can't wait for summer!!!+

surf cec - Pat does that belly flop thing too! Just when he gets on his knees and you think maybe this time he will move forward and then splat! LOL

So "Miss Organisation" has been trying to think of a Fathers Day present (yes Fathers Day! It is only 6 weeks away!) and i think I have it!! I am gunna get a dog tag made which has Patricks fingerprint on it, like this



I love it! Might have to get something made for me as well! original.gif
better get back to work!
sares
xx

#16 surf cec

Posted 20 July 2011 - 07:46 PM

Forosco that really does suck!  Can you enlist anyone else to come to your place and mind the kids while you work?

While i remember about grinding teeth- completly normal and its just them getting used to their teeth and not stress. Olivia does it to so I asked the nurse!

No news, just more belly flopping!

Sares I'm killing for summer to come . . . hurry!



#17 ComeWhatMay

Posted 20 July 2011 - 08:15 PM

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have been missing again.  I have been put on medication for depression and I am thinking that have started to work.  Life is finally starting to get better.

Will be back more often and am trying to catch up.   biggrin.gif

#18 Allymeg69

Posted 21 July 2011 - 12:55 PM

Kirsty, good to hear from you, sorry to know that you are having to deal with depression plus your thyroid, so I do hope the medication is a help. Feel free to have a vent here at any time.

Forosoco, yes that really does suck, hope you avoid getting ill. Is it too late for you to get a flu injection? This year's vaccine includes swine flu I am pretty sure (I had mine back in March so struggling to recall exactly).

Occbee, poor Jake, hope he is better and you are over the trauma - note to self - add some sort of plastic vomit-catching bag to all the stuff in my handbag!

Sares & Cec, maybe Pat and Olivia will surprise you one day by just getting up and walking, having avoided crawling altogether! And hey, crawling isn't all its cracked up to be, my little man takes off at the speed of light to places he shouldn't at the most inconvenient moments (eg when I've got something on the stove I need to deal with, or similar), and other times he sneaks around and ends up under your feet! Teeth are cute too but I now have to deal with trying to clean them - and the novelty of the first couple of times of brushing them has definitely worn off for Alex, now he clamps his mouth shut most times and won't let the brush in!

Sares, I feel so unorganised now, it's our wedding anniversary on Sunday and while we don't make a fuss (last year, first one was very low-key), I was thinking I would at least get a nice bottle of champagne (couldn't have one last year!) and a little gift - cotton something? Plus I hadn't even thought as far as Father's Day (and oh, god, my father's birthday, always within a day or two). At least I have squared it with my mum as to when they are going to come up for Alex's birthday and she has told me how much I can spend on her behalf for him at the Target Toy Sale - I am going to brave the crowds later tonight!

Helen, are you out there? How long before you head off to Bali?

Well things seem to be a bit on the improve with me, I saw the lymphodema therapist on Tuesday after my doctor had drained another 2 styrofoam coffee cups full of fluid out of my armpit! He dismissed the idea that lymphatic massage could help, but the therapist was great, showed me some exercises and sequence of massage strokes to move the fluid away, and even though it is early days I think it is helping, I certainly don't have such a big "tennis ball" under my arm as I have had within a couple of days before.

DH & I are very excited today, he is going to pick up our new (very old) boat this afternoon! It is a 7metre fibreglass boat with a full cabin (sink, running water, storage, large bed), great outboard motor, set up for longer offshore trips and we can safely take Alex and all the other kids out in it even for overnight trips. We had been contemplating spending a lot of money on a new boat of this sort, but then found this one for a very little amount of money, even though it is old, it has been very well looked after and modernized by its current owner - so we are looking forward to enjoying some good times aboard "Rascal II".

Public holiday here tomorrow in Darwin, Show Day, and we are going to the show, me for the first time in Darwin, so that should be fun, hoping Alex will enjoy it, then a sunset cruise on the new boat!
Better get back on with some work for now
Ally

#19 Sares83

Posted 21 July 2011 - 01:18 PM

QUOTE (Allymeg69 @ 21/07/2011, 12:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was thinking I would at least get a nice bottle of champagne (couldn't have one last year!) and a little gift - cotton something?


for our first second anniversary we got a kitten and called her Cotton! original.gif

#20 Summerlover

Posted 21 July 2011 - 01:29 PM


Hello girls  waves.gif Im here

I just don't get any time at the mo to post and I then I want to do personals and that takes time too.  I have 10mins before heading with Yas to the hospital to see her physio for the first time since her plasters have come off and its perfect timing too as just this last week she started walking on her toes again.

OMG we do go to Bali Ali in 3 weeks and OMG I think we just bought a house !!!! we had no intentions of buying just yet but the market is soooooo good and a 4 bedroom, 2 bath, double garage with a pool and just right size garden came up around the corner all on a flat block which is nice with littlies and it was reeeeally cheap so we offered, got accepted all last weekend and now we just have to wait for finance to come through and it will be a short settlement of 4wks so when we get back from Bali its all go

oh no Yas just had an accident and everyone is crying - talk later

Helen

#21 tangles25

Posted 22 July 2011 - 11:10 AM

Hi everyone biggrin.gif

i have been keeping up reading on my phone but have not posted in a very very long time, my life has been some what stressful.

First of all sorry to hear of those who have been facing health issue either with themselves or your little ones, i know it can be hard as u have no control, i have diabetes.

Well Ezekiel is almost 11 months, its flying by, im still breastfeeding every 4 hours or so, he has been slow getting into solids but finally have him eating 3 times a day, still waking at night he has slept through for about a week or so at a time thought out his life, but with what has been going on in our life i dont mind its been pretty rough.

Zekey has 4 top teeth and 2 lower, he is crawling, but he started at 7 months hes very strong and so close to walking alreday DS1 didnt crawl untill 9 months and walking at 14 months, but i think for E he is trying to keep up with his big brother who is 3.5 years old.

So lost and looking for help maybe some can point me in the right direction.
in a nut shell my husband left me.....he now lives with another woman and her 2 daughters who are under 2 years old.
i knew about there 'friendship' via email and phone while i was pregnant but excepted it because he said he would leave me or even kill himslef if i told anyone and being pregnant with a toddler and health issue i was scared to be on my own, but when E was 10 weeks old and after my husband moved us to vic, 1000ks from my bf and parents he told me he loved her and i can get stuffed because i had told my bf and mum, so my mum came and got me, i told DH that when he would give her up stop communciating with her and choose his sons and wife to come get us.....instead a week later he said 'i dont want u back, happyier without u, go to centerlink and get a single parent pension'. From there he moved to QLD, told me it was for work, but i knew he was chasing her..........
So what do u know 2 months later, while he has our oldest boy for a holiday, he informs me that he is living with 'the other woman and her kids' so i have had to sell our family home, i can't afford it on my own and he wont help, i needed to cut financial ties. I now live with my parents, who have been amazing support for me and the boys emotionlly, physically, financially. Im so lucky to have them.
Now we are going through 'live with, spend time with' issues.....if i dont give him what he wants he threatens to take 50% custody of the boys......10000ks away and a baby that is breastfeed, mind you in 7 months he has only seen bothered to see E maybe 6 times for a total of 6 hours, he doesn't know him.....He wants to take the DS1 every 3 months for a week, and once DS2 is no linger breastfeed he thinks he can have him too.
I have been to all the departments......got legal aid and a socilitor etc but he is demanding 2 phone calls a week and one video chat a week with the boys the problem is that DS1 hangs up on him if i let him hold the phone and if i hold it he walks away and refuses to talk to his dad and im the one ex gets angry with.....has anyone had experence with this type of situation, can you reconmend where to look or any books etc that explains what a 3 year old and 10 month can handle with regards tos communcating long distance, and being taken away from there primary care giver, who has never spent a night a away from DS2 and DS1 now gets destressed when i go to get milk from the shops and i leave him with at home with my mum, i have t make all my appointment while he is asleep so he doesn't know ive left, i know this is not the place but i thought i could start here someone could point me in a derection......Thanks for reading and anything you can share would be really appreciated.

Thanks tangles

#22 Sares83

Posted 22 July 2011 - 12:00 PM

oh tangles, I am so sorry. What has your solicitor said? I think he is loopy if he thinks he would ever get custody! No judge would ever take children away from their mother who is perfectly capable of looking after them!

Helen - Yay! for bali and double yay! for buying a house! That is awesome! I wish we could buy but we just can't afford it sad.gif

#23 Summerlover

Posted 22 July 2011 - 05:52 PM


Sares - we have a lot of equity in our house on the Sunshine Coast which is enabling us to do this.  We hope when the market is better we can sell that house as it is worth quite a bit and keep this house as a rental.  Its a lovely neat house with nothing needing doing to it and a lot easier to maintain as a rental property as the other house - the other house was purpose built for us to live in but circumstances forced us to move North for DH's work.  Its the same old same old - once you are in the market then the work is done so - I know the Westpac used to offer packages to people to purchase on the basis that their rental history was good, I mean really if you can pay rent you can pay a mortgage but you just have to find a deposit from a friendly family member LOL.  I still can't believe we did it though in just one weekend.

Tangles - hmmm sticky situation and a very close friend of mine is going through it now but she left with the kids it wasn't him running away with another woman but more fool him for doing with someone else's young kids - poor bugger he will suffer in the long run as you think its tough with your own kids well I hear all the horror stories with other peoples kids - you are defo the lucky one.  Sorry you have health issues to throw in the mix too  sad.gif .  On a brighter note I would never ever let any of my children under 5 to stay with a father interstate and I am pretty sure the courts would be on your side too.  People have to have permission from each other to move kids interstate and no judge would ever pull kids away from a mum that is mentally stable and looking after their kids correctly.  Especially to give a father who ran off with another woman and living in a home with her with other young kids - they will be on your side every time girl so don't let the man scare you into thinking he would ever get custody or joint custody with kids so young - check it out legally and get all your facts before letting your kids go anywhere without you.  Remember he chose to leave - its not like he is around the corner.  All you have to do is be honest and they will favour your side every time.  It would have to be a pretty bad mum to lose her kids to a father.  Good luck and thats all just my feelings you need to check things out legally but would love to know as my friend seems to think he could get joint custody too and is scared of that happening because of all this things he is twisting her mind with but I may be out the loop and things may have changed in the last 5 years!!!!

ok off to make dinner - Isla hit the sack at 5.30pm tonight as she would not have an afternoon sleep little bugger but did a good job of a happy 6hours awake!!! Hope its not a 5.30am rise????? rolleyes.gif



#24 surf cec

Posted 23 July 2011 - 11:20 AM

Tangles, man that is nuts and you poor thing. Its so hard raising kids let alone without the help of a partner. Having said that he sounds like a w anker so best off without him!!  I think your solisitor should know but I would be getting a court ordered custody arrangment in place before I let the kids go anywhere. Normally i think they do mediation first where you say what you want and he says what he wants with an impartial person in the middle. But don't be scared- you can't lose them and they won't take them away from you.   but I would be saying he can come down and visit them but no going interstate. My friends ex hires a hotel near her once a month and her daughter spends the weekend at the hotel with the dad. He p*ssed off interstate as well.  Get some good legal advice, your kids are worth every cent!  Big hugs x

#25 forosoco

Posted 23 July 2011 - 06:58 PM

tangles i'm so sorry you're going through this. the only advice i have at the moment is don't let him have the kids at all until a written settlement is in place, because once he has them at his place it becomes a hell of a lot harder for you to get them back. so just make sure they stay with you for the time being with no unsupervised visits. i hope someone is able to help you sort all of this out, but it does sound like you'll be better off without him in the long run if he's been acting that way for so long.

well jesse's 1st birthday invitations went out yesterday! i can't believe he'll be 1 in only 5 weeks! i sent out the invitations pretty early just because we've got such a busy month ahead and i didn't want to get caught up in other things and not have enough time to organise them later. i actually wouldn't have had a big party for him normally, but since DD had a massive first birthday i didn't want jesse to look back at photos in years to come and wonder why he didn't get the same! DD's 1st was combined with my 30th as they were 10 days apart, so it was a much bigger deal than a 1st birthday normally would have been in our family. i'm just hoping jesse will be crawling by the time he's 1 - he's really dragging his heels on this whole crawling thing! he's even later than DD was and i remember as we neared her 1st birthday i was praying she'd be crawling by then as well. but i think she did it at 10.5 months. jesse has passed that point now.

DH is thankfully feeling much better. he still hasn't gotten his results to see if it was swine flu though but either way at least the worst is over.




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