Jump to content

UPDATED Post # 66 No idea what I'm doing - breastfeeding, baby sleeping, can't stop crying etc


  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#26 JinksNewton

Posted 24 October 2011 - 09:56 PM

QUOTE
Was he jaundiced when you came home from hospital? Does he look jaundiced now? If he is jaundiced it can account for his sleepiness and you should probably take him back to the hospital for a blood test to see the level of his SBR.


I'm glad STBG suggested this, because it was what I was wondering too, but I didn't want to seem like I was projecting my own experiences onto yours.
If your DS is jaundiced, it's not that terrible. If you think this may be the problem, call the hospital where DS was born and they may get your DS' blood tested. If the results come back that he is fairly jaundiced (ie too much to clear by itself easily) he will go back to hospital for a day or two and go under UV lights, just coming out for feeding and wiping up any poos (he won't even wear a nappy) DS absolutely loved it and just slept happily inbetween feeds. His colour changed quite rapidly within a 24 hours or so and then we went home. Before treatment he looked like he had fake tan on!
Otherwise, you just have a really sleepy baby, lol. That is fine too original.gif
Regarding the crying, if DH was typing this he would tell you I was bursting into tears all the time from about Day 3 onwards. It does resolve after a while, but in the meantime, you ARE normal and you ARE doing fine.

Edited by redkris, 24 October 2011 - 09:58 PM.


#27 Honeymummy

Posted 24 October 2011 - 10:04 PM

I just need to give you a hug - because you sound very much like a first time mum with a newborn. All these feelings and emotions are completely normal and you are doing great.

With my 1st who was jaundice - I had to strip her to her nappy and wipe her with a wet facewasher to get her to wake up. If she is puttin gon weight - like you say then its proof that the what you are doing it working!

My third slept a lot and only fed briefly - I worried about it but she was just a dream baby - and I didnt expect it.

Your tears should only last a few days then that should start to improve as well. But if they dont then make sure you speak to your child health nurse or Dr.

You sound so loving to your bub - you and bubs will be fine!!!

HUG! HUG! HUG! HUG!

Edited by Honeymummy, 24 October 2011 - 10:06 PM.


#28 Caramel Queen

Posted 24 October 2011 - 10:18 PM

I definitely remember being so anxious I couldn't sleep even when I had the opportunity to when DS1 was tiny. My mum sent me some Rescue Remedy and I am not usually a believer in that stuff but it really did help (maybe just placebo effect, but whatever!). Also research has shown that a 15 minute massage per day is very helpful for new mums with the baby blues - so if you have someone who can do that for you, that would be nice!

bbighug.gif

#29 Guest_Cat-O-Holic_*

Posted 24 October 2011 - 10:40 PM

Thanks everyone! You've all been so kind and helpful.

I don't think he has jaundice, he wasn't born with it and seems a good colour now.

I guess I just feel like a failure. I can't seem to do anything right. I can't even put his nappy on properly. He somehow manages to p*ss up his own back. And I go through so many clothes per day because he kept pooing on them. He screams when getting his nappy changed but doesn't really cry at any other time.

I love him so much, I just want to do a good job. I worry that he thinks I'm crying because of him sad.gif

Anyway, does anyone know if I should be wearing a maternity bra to bed and if there are any sleeping positions I should avoid when breastfeeding?

Edited by Cat-O-Holic, 24 October 2011 - 10:43 PM.


#30 JinksNewton

Posted 24 October 2011 - 10:52 PM

The poo thing happens with lots of newborns. I can remember it being quite forceful with DS...ie took the nappy off and poo just shot out! And the amount of times his car capsule liner had to go through the washing machine was ridiculous!
As for wee, boys especially go all over the place...one time when I was changing DS the poor thing wee'd into his own face (it was a bit funny though)
QUOTE
I love him so much, I just want to do a good job. I worry that he thinks I'm crying because of him

As for this, don't worry. He doesn't think much of anything at the moment, he's just a big bundle of instincts and reflexes. He knows you voice and your touch, but believe me, he's not reading your emotions. Newborn's brains really aren't that developed when they are born, they don't even know they have hands until they're a couple of months old! All he wants is cuddles and feeds and you are doing that.
Regarding the maternity bra, I wore one to bed with nursing pads in it and also slept on a towel, but I had pretty bad oversupply in the beginning. Regarding positions, anything except on your stomach should be good.

#31 TwinkyBear

Posted 24 October 2011 - 10:54 PM

You don't HAVE to wear a bra to bed, but if you find that you leak a lot (I have woken up in puddles at times) it can be a good idea to sleep with breast pads on.

Newborns are just weird.  My son used to scream when he was naked - nappy changes, baths.  I'd look forward to cute naked newborn bath time and he'd scream the whole time like I was killing him and I felt like a terrible mother.

Nappies are a technique and they'll still get around them.  I seem to be changing clothes from poop explosions CONSTANTLY with my 6 month old.  Constantly.  

And the crying is normal.  I found myself thinking of my children and then bursting into tears because I didn't have a child any more, I had children, and that was just beautiful and everything was so beautiful that it made me cry, then I'd cry because I wondered if my 4 year old was jealous of the baby.  Hormones be whack.  You're doing fine.  original.gif

#32 kateandmarley

Posted 24 October 2011 - 11:03 PM

i gave birth to my second baby 5 weeks ago and so its still so fresh in my mind how crazy/emotional u can feel. i was sitting at the dining room table 3 weeks ago balling my eyes out because my 2 year old wouldnt cuddle me lol, before that i was balling my eyes out because my husband went to visit his sister, and then i was balling my eyes out because i felt so tired and just pretty much felt like you are feeling original.gif but it will get better, its totally normal to feel like your on a roller coaster with a new baby. Take a minute or 2 to talk on the phone with a friend or have a cuddle and a cry with someone u care about, and remind yourself that your doing a great job and 90% of new mums feel exactly how you do!

#33 F.E.B.E

Posted 24 October 2011 - 11:14 PM

Sometimes you have to try a few types of nappies before finding ones that fit your baby best. Poonamis are still very common!

Previous PPs have given you some wonderful advice. My daughter was much sleepier than DS as a newborn and I had to wake her for feeds during the day (mainly to encourage longer sleeps at night). Then she started to 'wake up' around 3 weeks old.

My breasts were always rock hard if I hadn't fed by 3 hours but everyone's supply is different. As long has he is gaining weight (and this will vary from week to week) and making wet nappies then it sounds like you're on track.

Babies don't come with a manual so don't be too hard on yourself.

If you do want a manual then Baby Love by Robin Barker is pretty comprehensive about feeding, sleep, health conditions, settling etc.

All the best. You can reach out to Eb any time of the day or night.

#34 Sugaraddict

Posted 24 October 2011 - 11:19 PM

Dear Cat-o-holic,

You're doing a great job! Worrying that you're a failure at it is completely unfounded but also completely natural, just being a conscientious mum and realising what a responsibility it is. That and the hormones pack a punch. My DD2 was very sleepy for the first few days and I remember being really worried that she wouldn't feed enough, but I woke her up to feed regularly, even if just for a few minutes at a time, and she eventually became more alert and the feeds picked up. You're keeping an eye out for jaundice and dehydration and so on, and you know the options (GP, Tresilian number, ER etc) if you think there's any cause for concern. Take good care of yourself too, hopefully the baby blues will dissipate very soon and please stop telling yourself you're doing a bad job, the bad parents aren't the ones who are always worrying if they're getting it right!


#35 bananarepublic

Posted 24 October 2011 - 11:44 PM

I would definitely wake him for feeds every 3-4 hours. I would also get him weighed.

My daughter was ultra lethargic, needed to be woken for feeds and kept on falling asleep when feeding. It turned out that she had a UTI. The difference between your baby and her though was she didn't put on weight for a week and a half. If your baby is putting on weight then like others have said, I'm sure he's going through the sleepy newborn phase many babies do.

Good luck.

#36 niggles

Posted 24 October 2011 - 11:55 PM

Your post sounds like a diary entry of mine if I'd written one at the time. Damp flannel on the top of her head to keep baby awake and a nappy change halfway through feeds helped.

My motto became: If in doubt call Ngala.

I called them regularly with a notepad and pen in my hand and a list of questions. And they didn't even get sick of me. wink.gif

#37 gfgirl

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:00 AM

QUOTE (Cat-O-Holic @ 24/10/2011, 09:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks everyone original.gif

I've been trying to wake him, but he's a pretty hardcore sleeper no matter what I do. I usually manage to get a 10 minute feed out of him so I will keep doing that.

I try to sleep when he does but then I can't relax because I worry that he'll stop breathing. It's irrational but I find myself waking myself up to check on him.

I sound like a bloody lunatic.



i haven't read all the replies but i would take your sone to the DR if he keeps sleeping like that as that is a lot of sleep for a newborn.  if the DR says he is fine - then i am totally jealous !!!   biggrin.gif  

if your not sure about anything with is feeding, again take him to the DR or health nurse.   i was always told not to wake a sleeping baby but yours really likes sleeping



#38 Allymeg69

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:07 AM

Dear Cat, sorry you are feeling this way, it brings back memories though! I was constantly waking with a feeling of mild panic to see if my bub was breathing!

Just wanted to say re the nappies, if you are using disposables, you need to check that the "ruffles" around the legs are fully pulled out right around each leg, if they are tucked inwards it leaves a channel for wee/poo to leak out. And it can be trial and error with sizing/brands, my DS was 4kg born but the Woolies Select nappies I started off with were a bit too loose, so I resorted to Huggies Newborns in the early days. Also with a boy, were you told the trick of making sure the penis is pointing straight down in front? Leaks can happen if its to the side or upwards.

All the best, everything you are describing about your feelings sounds very normal!

#39 au*lit

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:10 AM

If you're a lunatic then all new mums are lunatics. You sound totally normal!

During feeds try stroking his jaw or his head behind his ear when he seems like he's dropping off to sleep. Also unwrap him before a feed (rewrap when putting back to sleep).

You don't have to wear a bra to bed but I find it more comfortable to have my boobs contained. The Bravado breastfeeding tank top has been great for me (goes up to big cup sizes). If you've got leakage issues, look into getting some wool breast pads (reusable). You should be able to get both of these online. I can provide links if you are interested.

With the weeing up his back thing, make sure his penis in pointing straight down when you put a fresh nappy on. Nobody told me this and it really could have saved me many changes of clothes!

The other thing with little boys is when cool air hits their penis, it triggers a reflex to wee. So either open the nappy up for a few seconds then close it (giving him a chance to wee) before changing. Or have a face washer on hand (otherwise known as 'the wee cloth') to put over him while you change him, to protect you, him, the walls etc. from being weed on.

Good luck. You will get the hang of things. But I think we all are pretty much winging it. Even those mums who seem to have it all together!

#40 Cluckster

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:17 AM

You poor thing. I remember that emotional roller coaster well. If it makes you feel any better I cried every day for weeks after DD was born - over everything! Even pandas. original.gif

Would you consider expressing off one breast while your baby feeds from the other and then offering the EBM to get an indication of how much he's taking?


The biggest indicator that you are doing a wonderful job is that you are clearly following your instincts. If you really feel he's not wetting enough, phone Health Direct or similar support organisations so you don't worry yourself sick.



#41 maneki_neko

Posted 25 October 2011 - 07:24 AM

Your first post could easily have been written by me a few weeks ago! Don't worry - feeling like a lunatic either goes away or you get used to it, can't be sure which Tounge1.gif

Any advice I could possibly give has already been given (and by people with waaaaay more experience) but having felt like you did a few weeks ago, I now feel totally normal and my baby's got a nice little belly going so everything appears to have worked out in the end!

#42 Sentient Puddle

Posted 25 October 2011 - 09:41 AM

You have had some great advice OP.  Just on the bra to bed thing - I found I leaked too much to not wear anything but my maternity bras were not comfortable enough to wear overnight.  So I bought a couple of Bonds bra tops - (sort of like sport bras but without the support) that were comfortable to wear to bed - but tight enough that I could put in breast pads to absorb the leaks.

And it sounds liek you are doing a great job!!

#43 peppersmum

Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:06 AM

QUOTE (Cat-O-Holic @ 24/10/2011, 11:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks everyone! You've all been so kind and helpful.

I don't think he has jaundice, he wasn't born with it and seems a good colour now.

I guess I just feel like a failure. I can't seem to do anything right. I can't even put his nappy on properly. He somehow manages to p*ss up his own back. And I go through so many clothes per day because he kept pooing on them. He screams when getting his nappy changed but doesn't really cry at any other time.

I love him so much, I just want to do a good job. I worry that he thinks I'm crying because of him sad.gif

Anyway, does anyone know if I should be wearing a maternity bra to bed and if there are any sleeping positions I should avoid when breastfeeding?


Cat you seriously are doing a great job, I know how hard it is with your first (I was so so worried and stressed I chucked in breastfeeding early as I didn't know what I was doing, but it was just because I did not have enough people telling me it all was normal).

Everything you have said is happening is NORMAL.  My DD2 pooed through everything, we sometimes had 3 changes of clothes and baths in a day because she was poo crazy.  My DD3 has been opposite, she went 7 days without a poo which I never had with DD2, so they are just as different.  DD3 liked to sleep heaps too, she would sleep 4-5 hours in the day.  She didn't 'wake up' until 2 weeks when she started the fussy evening thing and cried on and off until around 10pm at night and we had to hold/bounce/rock her constantly.  These are all very NORMAL newborn behaviours.  Keep posting when you are not sure and don't change anything you are doing as you are doing a great job.  Be careful on getting bubs weighed too often, it can only make things more stressful when they have weeks they might not put on much and then other weeks they put on heaps.  The ABA recommends monthly weighings and talks about a normal average of 400 gms a month but also understanding some babies can go under that and still be perfectly healthy!

Keep up the good work and let the tears flow, it will get better and easier!



#44 Guest_Cat-O-Holic_*

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:42 PM

Thanks everyone for your support. original.gif

Cooper was awake from about 11 to 1am then slept for a bit. He didn't cry when he was awake just lay there looking around cross eyed.

I had to wake him up to feed him at 3am and then he slept through and I woke him at 7am for a feed and he's been awake until about 10am. I gave him another quick feed at 9am as he seemed to want it. He didn't feed for the very long during the night only about 10 - 15 minutes.

He pooed and wee'd and adequate amount of times in the last 24 hours (how sad is it that I write down the times he feeds, sleeps, wakes, poos and wees).

I feel a bit better today now that I have had a bit more sleep.

Thanks for all the tips with the nappying. I have adjusted the leg flap foldy thing as PP suggested and that seems to have done the trick.

#45 PurpleNess

Posted 25 October 2011 - 12:47 PM

QUOTE (Cat-O-Holic @ 24/10/2011, 10:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks everyone original.gif

I've been trying to wake him, but he's a pretty hardcore sleeper no matter what I do. I usually manage to get a 10 minute feed out of him so I will keep doing that.

I try to sleep when he does but then I can't relax because I worry that he'll stop breathing. It's irrational but I find myself waking myself up to check on him.

I sound like a bloody lunatic.


No you sounds like a new mum :-) hang in there you are doing a great job. Try to nap, do you have a good  monitor, maybe with a sensor mat until you all settle into a routine.
I also agree the baby blues have hit, be kind to yourself Cat.

#46 NannyPlum

Posted 25 October 2011 - 01:22 PM

QUOTE (Cat-O-Holic @ 24/10/2011, 08:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks everyone! You've all been so kind and helpful.

I don't think he has jaundice, he wasn't born with it and seems a good colour now.

I guess I just feel like a failure. I can't seem to do anything right. I can't even put his nappy on properly. He somehow manages to p*ss up his own back. And I go through so many clothes per day because he kept pooing on them. He screams when getting his nappy changed but doesn't really cry at any other time.

I love him so much, I just want to do a good job. I worry that he thinks I'm crying because of him sad.gif

Anyway, does anyone know if I should be wearing a maternity bra to bed and if there are any sleeping positions I should avoid when breastfeeding?


Oh Cat I had to reply to this.

I felt the exact same!

We even buzzed and asked a midwife in the hospital if the screaming while getting changed was normal... You just learn to be super quick and POINT THE PENIS DOWN! I still forget sometimes and DS still p*sses all over himself lol. So if your a bad mum for doing that in the beginning, I must be the worst mum EVER! DS doesn't cry while getting his bum changed now and I think it stopped at around 4 weeks.

Honey you sound exactly like a new mum and it does pass (well sometimes I still cry rivers but you're a Mum so its ok lol). You also learn to sleep in like this different dimension (LOL) where you are still aware of everything going on but your rejuvenating at the same time original.gif.  Are you able to sleep on your bed with him? put pillows along the side, him in the middle with his own blankets and you on the side.  This was how I did our day sleeps for a while, seemed to calm me down knowing he was right there and I often slept with my hand on his chest original.gif.

Anyway must go the terror is trying too take my shoes off original.gif Good luck with everything!



#47 LoveMyLife

Posted 25 October 2011 - 02:29 PM

Hi OP,

Sounds like your milk came in really good really early.

The poos and feed cycles described would certainly back this up! You have a very efficient bub who got your milk supply up, and is now feeding efficiently.

Give yourself a pat on the back!

#48 Guest_Cat-O-Holic_*

Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:52 PM

Thanks again everyone original.gif

We're doing better today. He's actually been awake for some of the day although his feeding has still been all over the shop.

I have an appointment with the CHN in a week.

I feel completely lost. I think about DH returning to work and wonder how I'll cope. I feel so alone even though I am not alone. I can't even explain what this feeling of emptiness and loneliness is like.

I think I'll be okay eventually I just need to take one day at a time.

#49 Caramel Queen

Posted 25 October 2011 - 07:01 PM

Both my DSs have screamed absolute blue murder when getting changed/dressed. They sounded like terrified little lambs, bleating away! sad.gif So stressful when you're all thumbs, trying to get those curled up little limbs into teeny weeny little wondersuits! DS2 carried on for AGES, finally grew out of it at about 6 months. Just sing him a little song, say soothing words and carry on. He's just not used to the strange sensations and is protesting - he'll get used to it soon. original.gif

Just saw your update and this:

QUOTE
I feel completely lost. I think about DH returning to work and wonder how I'll cope. I feel so alone even though I am not alone. I can't even explain what this feeling of emptiness and loneliness is like.


describes exactly how I felt after DS1! I'd be here on the couch with DH right beside me and feel SO ALONE. I think I've seen it described as "the shock of motherhood". Don't worry, it will pass... once your hormones settle things will seem much brighter.

I've always found the ladies on the ABA helpline (1800 mum 2 mum) wonderful and reassuring.

bbighug.gif


#50 Charli73

Posted 25 October 2011 - 07:29 PM

Cat O holic sounds like you are doing great!!

Every mum has been through this so hang in there it gets better every day!!

Little Cooper has been in a warm snug dark belly for months so suddenly being naked and cold on the change table would make anyone cry.. he will soon be laughing at you in a couple of months..My little boy is Cooper aswell, hes 7months and Im struggling to keep him on the change table!!

I remember wondering if I would cope when my DH went back to work but I managed, the animals chased each other around the house as I tried to get us out to see the MCHN but I coped and you will too. Just take each day slowly and rest when he rests.

Oh and make sure you go to mothers group, it is a great support network and you could make some great friends like I did a few months ago...

Big hugs original.gif






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.