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UPDATED Post # 66 No idea what I'm doing - breastfeeding, baby sleeping, can't stop crying etc

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#51 Minimouse27

Posted 25 October 2011 - 09:13 PM


You are doing a fine job!!!

I remember leaving the hospital thinking "oh my god I SO do not know what I'm doing..."

Absolutely terrifying!

Ok.. Things I've learnt in my six months of mummyhood:

1. Mummies are very good at making ourselves sick with worry & guilt.
2. Newborns hate getting naked & changed- my Lucas did. Would scream so I became quite adept at changing fast lol
3. Point the penis down straight away during nappy time. Open the flaps to catch the wee. Try to get the nappy as far up the back as possible for poo explosions.
4. Newborns can poo after every. Single. Feed!!!! Argh! It does slow down. Promise!! Wait until 6 -8 weeks...
5. Newborns are sleepy. I used to tickle my sons cheek or undress him from the bottom down or stroke his feet to encourage sucking
6. When you breastfeed, it's your chance to snuggle in & rest also. Put your feet up. Letdown happens more successfully when relaxed.

Do you have parents/friends nearby? I found it isolating when DH went to work as bub doesn't talk back so I spent a lot of time with my mum and dad up the road (i'm very lucky- my mum no longer works & dad works from home)...mothers groups are also excellent!!!

You will get through this. Cooper is adjusting to life outside the womb & your body is adjusting to not being pregnant...

Enjoy your Babymoon xxx

#52 TobiasFLK

Posted 25 October 2011 - 09:29 PM

Cat-O-holic, reading your post has brought back so many memories.

I promise you this WILL PASS!!!  It is incredibly overwhelming at the beginning and you and your baby are still getting to know eachother.

Your LO sounds very much like my DS. He loved his sleep and I had to literally strip him down in order to feed him.  I can assure you within a few weeks he let me know exactly when he was awake and wanted food! Babies are resiliant little things and what you are describing with his nappies and poo sounds very normal.

Motherhood came as a massive shock to me and I strugged for the first few months. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions (even if you feel they are silly!) it really helped me to know others were feeling the same way I did.

FWIW - my DS is now 10 months old and I absolutely LOVE motherhood.

#53 Lolly58

Posted 25 October 2011 - 10:06 PM

Congrats - it's such a big shock to the system having your first baby! It all sounds so normal. Think it's 6 - 8 wet nappies a day from memory. Don't panic if he doesn't poo each day - it differs with breastfed babies. After the meconium, it goes grainy and then yellow & watery generally. I still chuckle at how I used to obsess so much about the colour and consistency of my newborn's poo! No-one ever warned me about that!

My 2nd had mild jaundice so think that accounted for his sleepiness, so had to undress him, tickle soles of his feet to wake him up, dab some breastmilk on his lip etc and persuade him to attach. Tried to feed him every 4 hours as a general rule. Each baby is different - and there's no manual! You will find your way with your baby - just give yourself time to get to know each other & your confidence will soar! Things will be so different in a few weeks I am sure. It's a lot of trial and error until you figure out what works for you both.

And the crying over silly things..it's bewildering isn't it? Seriously though, you have just given birth, gone through an extreme life changing event and are not getting much sleep...mix hormones in with that and who wouldn't start bawling over a panda... bbighug.gif

If you are still worried call the Tresillian help line and your CHN - can you pop down to your local clinic and weigh him each week? And join a mothers group - am still friends with my group and we all catch up 6 years down the track & it's lovely. Just nice to be able to talk to other new mums about poo and wee and crying & other important stuff!

Sorry if I have repeated what others have already posted. I wish you all the best as you get to know your new baby - before you know it he will be growing and you will wonder where your tiny newborn went..(tip...take heaps of photos!)

#54 JinksNewton

Posted 25 October 2011 - 10:47 PM

I feel completely lost. I think about DH returning to work and wonder how I'll cope. I feel so alone even though I am not alone. I can't even explain what this feeling of emptiness and loneliness is like.

You don't have to explain, most of us know.
One of the best things I did was to get out and about early with DS. It was actually DH who pushed us out the door, saying that we needed to get used to going out and doing things by ourselves before he went back to work. He was absolutely right, too. The earlier and more often you go out, the easier it is. I spent lots of time at my parents', friends' houses and even out with my brother.
I also walked around the shopping mall and went places like the botanical gardens and the zoo and just watched things...it was good to feel like part of the world, and also so many people were interested in DS and would start conversations, even in a supermarket.
The other great thing I did was doing a "getting to know your baby" course through Child & Youth Health. I don't know what the equivalent is in Perth, but I am sure there is one. It was great meeting other mums going through the same stuff as me, and i am still friends with them now.

#55 Helena Handbasket

Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:29 PM


Cat, this is a whole new world for you and Cooper. It's going to take time but you will be amazed at how quickly you'll get the hang of this motherhood gig.

Think back to 7 days ago. What do you know now that you didn't know then? Look at all the things you've learned in that short space of time. Write them down. Motherhood is a huge learning curve, especially at the beginning. I bet if you write a list of what you have learned now, and then do the same thing in a week, you'll be astonished at how far you've come.

Dont feel silly for keeping a baby diary of when he poos and pees and feeds. That's really helpful information to have and is a great idea! Writing a list of when bubs poo'ed, wee'd and feed and the times saved my sanity, especially when I spoke to a CHN and I couldn't remember those things off the top of my head.

Getting teary is normal for a new mum. (I got teary watching the midday movie the other day and my youngest are 14 months)

Sometimes taking it day by day is too much. Sometimes you have to take it hour by hour. Focus on the present.

The fog will lift soon, until then, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. You're doing great!

Edited by Space_Cadet, 25 October 2011 - 11:30 PM.

#56 bron23

Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:35 PM

Cat-a-holic are you in Perth? I have one of those angel care monitors that blips every time the baby takes a breath and send an alarm off if they stop breathing. I found it so reassuring and it enabled me to sleep when she slept. If you are in Perth you are welcome to have it.

My DD2 screamed blue murder every change and bath time. It's all normal. You are doing a great job and most mums on here can completely relate to your post. You are not a lunatic, just a mum xoco

#57 Helena Handbasket

Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:46 PM

Oh, and you think you're crazy?

I used to wake up of a night and sit beside DD1's bassinette holding a makeup mirror under her nose so I could tell she was still breathing (the mirror would fog). I then learned that if I put the bassinette beside my bed and put a dummy on her chest that I could see moving up and down when she breathed I didn't have to get out of bed. As I got more confident, I relaxed. You will too.


#58 Mung bean

Posted 26 October 2011 - 12:04 AM

Cat so many people have said wonderful things

Just wanted to reinforce a few things:

Be kind to yourself, baby blues can feel strong and intense, after all a whole human being has just come from inside of you. It will pass but things may not make sense re your emotions for awhile.

The loneliness can be a factor but another wave you will ride and it will fade.

I know the feeling of wanting the baby to feel how much you love them/your doing the best by them but really for the few few months and especially in the first month all they know is survival and their brains don't go past the basics.

Good luck, being a first time Mum is like learning to ride a bike on a bumpy road!


#59 BadgerBasher

Posted 26 October 2011 - 12:32 AM

Hey original.gif

I can't help you much with the feeding, I lasted 6 weeks until it was "gain weight or she gets a tube" and I went to formula, but I know how you feel about your DH going back to work.
DP works night shift, and he only had 10 days off- 5 of these I was in hospital recovering.
The thing that I found helped the most was a checklist titled "Why Is She Crying?" that DP wrote while I was panicking.
1) Hungry
2) Poop
3) Dummy
4) Cuddles
5) Wants re-wrapping
6) No Obvious Reason- treat with cuddles, love and chocolate.

I found this amazingly helpful at 2 am, and even now at 6 months, I've just expanded the list. It's on my fridge, for those moments where I look at her and think "But...WHY are you crying?"

Bean still sleeps in a bassinet next to the bed (we were given a really big one) and I regularly dangle a hand over the edge to tickle her cheek and make sure she's ok. It's fine to do that.

You can do this, Cat-o-holic. You can look after your baby.

#60 Missmarymack

Posted 26 October 2011 - 02:55 AM

hugs Cat, it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. You should be very proud of yourself original.gif

#61 mintyfresh

Posted 26 October 2011 - 05:37 AM

If the feelings of loneliness and not coping continue don't be afraid to seek help. Baby blues are normal and pass. Post natal depression/anxiety sticks around and plays merry hell with your mind. The good news is that getting psychological help works wonders (or at least is has for me).

Good luck with Cooper and remember, you're the best Mum he'll ever have.

Edited by mintyfresh, 26 October 2011 - 05:40 AM.

#62 niggles

Posted 26 October 2011 - 11:29 AM

DH used to joke he could set the clock by my evening weepy sessions. Every day at around 7 pm for about 2 or 3 weeks post birth I would just feel overwhelmed with sadness and confusion. It felt so real at the time. I just couldn't adjust to the idea that I was a parent and responsible for a baby. And then it just sort of lifted.

Be gentle with yourself and, as hard as it is, try not to overanalyse it all.

#63 TobiasFLK

Posted 26 October 2011 - 01:02 PM

QUOTE (Space_Cadet @ 25/10/2011, 11:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, and you think you're crazy?

I used to wake up of a night and sit beside DD1's bassinette holding a makeup mirror under her nose so I could tell she was still breathing (the mirror would fog).

Me to!!!  Ive never admitted that to anyone. roll2.gif

#64 Guest_Cat-O-Holic_*

Posted 29 October 2011 - 12:17 PM

Thanks everyone for all your support original.gif

Just thought I'd update. DS is now 10 days old (where did the time go??)

We have a very loose structure to his feeds - sometimes it's every 2-3 hours, sometimes every 4-5 hours, I don't let him go more than 4.5 hours at night without a feed even though his tiny little "it's not fair" face breaks my heart when I wake him up.

He has been weeing at least 6 times a day and pooing a least 8 times a day even though he only feeds for about 5-10 minutes on one breast and then 3-5 minutes on the other.

So I believe he is getting enough hydration and food.

He still sleeps a lot but is starting to have more awake periods - I actually have a photo of him with his eyes open now!!

So thanks again everyone for your kind words and support. We are doing better and I feel a bit more confident with what we are doing.

We have an appointment with the CHN next Wednesday so hopefully he's put on adequate weight.

Thanks again original.gif

#65 Jingleflea

Posted 29 October 2011 - 01:13 PM

good to hear original.gif

#66 lucky 2

Posted 29 October 2011 - 04:12 PM

It does sound good OP, I'd be very surprised if 8 poos a day doesn't equal adequate growth!
Well done and thanks for the updates, it's great to get feedback and see how things are progressing with you and bub.
All the best.

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