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Fertility is not infinite
If you want kids, better get cracking.


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#201 Illiterati

Posted 23 November 2011 - 12:28 PM

Prue -  given the responses to your topic, do you think in hindsight you should have handled your BBQ conversation differently?  




#202 orangess

Posted 25 November 2011 - 07:14 PM

QUOTE (Shady Lane @ 13/11/2011, 07:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So if the man from the OP and his partner realise that they are too late and her fertility window has closed it's OK because he can just dump her and trade up for a younger model because his swimmers are still just fine and he is in no rush?

Fertility is an issue that affects couples. Not just women.

The issue of single women is a slightly different story. I was just using the example from your original post to illustrate my point.



shady, you should look at it from a scientific point of view, if you do this you will see a lot of things are
just defined by nature, men are valued on their resources, women have the kids and they are judged for their age beauty, its not fair, women = disadvantaged in a man's world, but we should put down the complaints and start thinking how we can maximise our gains by taking advantage of the situation as much as we can, such as starting relationships young and learning how to pick a good young early at our peak, because we are not men we dont have 20 years we have 10 years, so we need to mature faster and be smarter, we dont have years, it's true so we should work with it, we are not men, if men judges us by youth/looks, then we are qualified to judge them based on how much they make, also as girls and women we have a lot of advantages in this world, we can marry up, we can avoid the pressure of being judged for career success, men mostly have to make it themselves and its not this easy, of course if you are a girl and you are ugly, its pretty harsh.

#203 orangess

Posted 25 November 2011 - 07:23 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 14/11/2011, 05:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
From my hospital bed and an iPhone, so please forgive any choppiness. Like so many others on this thread, I find the OP's blog entry (and subsequent responses) to be smug and judgmental. I also suspect that the BBQ conversation didn't unfold precisely as she conveys (with the childless woman being so dismissive of the age factor "It's never too late!" I am skeptical that those were her actual words, but they sure make a good opening for a blog).. And if the conversation DID unfold on the OP's front as she describes, then the OP had best sign up for an etiquette class - such presumptions and such rudeness! Color me completely unimpressed with this blog.



she is not being judgemental, this is a man's world and there are a lot things that are not fair but is true,
i think the blogger is very smart and she understands this society very well, we should try to look at this logically, she is in a way trying to warn us that this is the facts of life and we need to smarten up or suffer.

#204 Froyo

Posted 25 November 2011 - 07:27 PM

So 'old' infertile women like myself are 'suffering' because we failed to 'smarten up'?

Nice.

#205 Nobody Cool

Posted 25 November 2011 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (orangess @ 25/11/2011, 08:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
shady, you should look at it from a scientific point of view, if you do this you will see a lot of things are
just defined by nature, men are valued on their resources, women have the kids and they are judged for their age beauty, its not fair, women = disadvantaged in a man's world, but we should put down the complaints and start thinking how we can maximise our gains by taking advantage of the situation as much as we can, such as starting relationships young and learning how to pick a good young early at our peak, because we are not men we dont have 20 years we have 10 years, so we need to mature faster and be smarter, we dont have years, it's true so we should work with it, we are not men, if men judges us by youth/looks, then we are qualified to judge them based on how much they make, also as girls and women we have a lot of advantages in this world, we can marry up, we can avoid the pressure of being judged for career success, men mostly have to make it themselves and its not this easy, of course if you are a girl and you are ugly, its pretty harsh.


Lolwhut?

#206 raindropsfalling

Posted 25 November 2011 - 10:42 PM

Great so I should learn about my fertility as I'm in my 20's.

Fantastic.

So I take myself off to the doctor and ask how I can find out what my fertility is like

She says "we cant"
I say "Well I've read about tests that tell you eggs left, can you refer for those?"
She says "You have to be trying for 12 months to have a baby and failed, and then I can refer you to a fertility specialist"
I say "But I dont want to try, I just want to know if we should be planning life to be trying in 2 years, 4 years or 6 years"
She says "Sorry I cant help you"

Thanks doctors. So I have to be trying to get any help.
So anyone got any advice on what you do once you have the information that fertility declines? What then??? I would prefer to wait until age 34 so we are financially secure, but that could be too late. You think we'd be encouraging women to try find out where there fertility is at but I hit a brick wall.

#207 F.E.B.E

Posted 25 November 2011 - 10:57 PM

This is the Sun-Herald article Prue was referring to:
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/conception...1123-1nt9d.html

#208 Jane Jetson

Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:18 PM

QUOTE (orangess @ 25/11/2011, 08:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
shady, you should look at it from a scientific point of view, if you do this you will see a lot of things are
just defined by nature, men are valued on their resources, women have the kids and they are judged for their age beauty, its not fair, women = disadvantaged in a man's world, but we should put down the complaints and start thinking how we can maximise our gains by taking advantage of the situation as much as we can, such as starting relationships young and learning how to pick a good young early at our peak, because we are not men we dont have 20 years we have 10 years, so we need to mature faster and be smarter, we dont have years, it's true so we should work with it, we are not men, if men judges us by youth/looks, then we are qualified to judge them based on how much they make, also as girls and women we have a lot of advantages in this world, we can marry up, we can avoid the pressure of being judged for career success, men mostly have to make it themselves and its not this easy, of course if you are a girl and you are ugly, its pretty harsh.


Looking at it from an *actual* scientific point of view it is clear that biological determinism is a load of twaddle. This does not stop some journalists from incorrectly interpreting studies and writing poorly researched articles claiming the above has some biological driver.

Hear that ringing sound? It's the 19th century calling and it wants you back.

#209 Vulli

Posted 19 December 2011 - 10:56 PM

QUOTE (Mozzie1 @ 13/11/2011, 08:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
While I am not as old as your friend at the BBQ (I'm 30), my response when people ask me when I'm having kids is always "no way, not yet, we are not ready". We are actually trying to conceive, but quite frankly it's no one's business but ours. Even our parents don't know (they get the same response when they ask), so I sure as hell wouldn't tell someone at a BBQ. Quite frankly, I think it was rude of you to ask.

And I comletely agree with the PP that said this is a men's issue as well. I know many couples who are delaying TTC because the man isn't ready, and doesn't understand the issue of declining female fertility. And given that most of the media attention in this issue is directed at women's media, it's not surprising that they don't know.


This.

#210 WithSprinkles

Posted 21 July 2012 - 10:33 AM

I'm actually very surprised to hear that educated women are not aware that fertility dramatically declines from the age of 35 (and that ivf is not a magic solution). I remember having conversations with friends when we were in our early 20s (and not in serious relationships/married yet or even reading websites like EB) about when would be a "good time" for kids and we all talked about the decline in fertility that is inevitable... If this is not the norm though then perhaps it does need to be mentioned during sex ed classes at high school...

And I completely agree with Mozzie1 - if a woman was trying and not having success she may not want to share this with a complete stranger at a bbq.





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